400 or so years ago in the Kingdom of Acrady in the southern ice reigns, a great battle occurred between Princess Sententia and her younger brother Alruccabah. It was said that the younger of the siblings wished for nothing but great power, vast armies and unimaginable wealth. Fearing for her subjects the princess banished her younger brother into a sarcophagus and sent him and his rage and hatred into the heavens. He sits there as a star in the sky guiding the southern frost ponies to there homes as a reminder for her subjects to not lose there way in times of darkness like her brother. This is the story told in little foals bedtime story books. This is the stories passed down from parents to there children. This story is a lie. Yet even a lie told as truth can have the tightest hold on our destinies. Destinies such as one as Polaris.
You have my attention. You keep the reader engaged without being bogged down with too much details. Pacing is pretty good. Didn’t notice any grammar issues but then again I was reading for the story not overall critique. I did notice a misspelt word in the first chapter when the brother returns I’m assume you mean “weary” instead of “wary”.
Look forward to the next chapter.
9294508
Hey thank you for the feedback! I hope I can keep up the expectation. And good catch on the wary misspelling. How do you like the latest chapters?
Hello. I just read prolouge and I already like this story. I will check other chapters in near future. But know, I just found few misspellings. Can I write about them?
9335779
Oh absolutely my dude! And I am glad you liked he prologue!
Woah! I almost thought he was my OC!
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Haha oh wow they do look similar!