Day 186880
You know… in all my time… there were few occasions where I thought: hey, I could actually die here. Even fewer where I thought that the world might legitimately be ending. The thought of the world ending terrifies me more than death ever could. Why? Because there's the chance that I might be spared from whatever armageddon might bring. Lost among the rubble. Forever watching; Never a chance to be free. And knowing my luck, that would probably happen. And if I was spared whatever armageddon throws at the world, knowing me I’d probably be freed when there is nothing left. No civilization, no food, no life.
Very rarely do I think these kind of thoughts. Now happens to be one of those times. Why? Because another fuckwit is striving for world domination. Except… it isn’t really world domination… more like… he wants to pretty much kill everyone. Now, the thought of death doesn’t scare me anymore. I’m not phased by it at all. But it certainly seems to scare the hell out of everyone else. I don’t see why though. I mean, I understand that death scares them, but I think it’s just because that’s how they are; I don’t actually understand the reason for it. It’s such a simple prospect. So easy to cause.
Maybe I’m not scared because I want to die. Fuck living. Fuck the world. Fuck Celestia, Luna, Starswirl, and fuck birds! I’m beyond caring for this world! It’s been 109500 days since Luna asked starswirl to try and find a way to free me. And in 300 fucking years, he still seems to be nowhere close. Bless his soul for trying, but fuck, he isn’t even trying that hard anymore. He thinks I’m a lost cause. Celestia is scared of me, but fuck her anyways because it’s partly her fault I’m in this mess. And fuck Luna because… because… okay maybe I take that one back… she’s the only good I’ve got. The one reason I would maybe NOT want to die, is her. I want to thank her… and tell her how much I appreciate everything she’s done for me.
In all the 186880 days I’ve been here, I cherish the ones with her the most. She’s… my anchor… and I hate her for it. It seems passive aggressive, but hear me out. She’s kept me partially sane by keeping me company. That’s a good thing, right? But if she hadn’t done that, my mind probably would have went blank a long time ago. And that can be seen as a good thing and a bad thing. But to me, it would have been good. Because then I wouldn’t have to fade in and out of time in partial coherence and sanity. In hindsight, I wouldn’t want to have gone this long like this. So you see, I’m grateful to her for making these days somewhat bearable, but I hate her because she’s the reason I even still experience days.
It’s a weird love/hate relationship, I know… it’s like a drug, you love the feeling, but you hate yourself for it later. I should probably backtrack a little bit here though. The part about Starswirl still not being anywhere close to freeing me in particular. I got the chance to see through his eyes about… 40 years ago. Give or take a few, as time is extremely hard to keep track of when it all blurs together in the seemingly short spans of the mental nothingness that exists when there’s nothing going on. Anyways, back to the point. I got to see what goes on behind closed doors with this fucker. And no, I did NOT see him masturbate! Just want to make that clear!
He’s hardly ever working on my problem. Only once a week. Just so he can say he’s making progress when Luna asks him how things are coming along. Maybe he thinks that if I’m ever freed, his chances with her with be reduced to zero. If that’s his fear, he’s sorely mistaken; I don’t see her in that light. If anything, I see her like a little sister; even though she’s probably older than me. And don’t you dare call that a friendzone, I pretty much don’t even exist in the social spectrum.
A more logical explanation, and much less petty one, is that he’s just an entrepreneur who’s thirst for knowledge is never ending. It would make sense, considering he’s still constantly developing more magic. Yeah, that’s right, I said I’m being petty. I know I am and I’ll continue to be petty because I see no reason to change. I’m dead, what do I care? I’ve noticed that emotion like anger, happiness, and even amusement still exist to me, just not how you would think. For example, say something was to ‘piss me off’. I wouldn’t actually feel anger, but I would know that’s what I’m SUPPOSED to feel. So I just continue to use logic to figure out that I’m supposed to feel angry, and continue to formulate my responses and thoughts from there.
Another reason I’ll continue to be petty is because I know something will come along later on that will change my thoughts. So I’ll wait for then instead of bothering with it right now. It’s like… imagine you’re playing a game. And there’s this really cool ability you can get. You get it automatically after a certain point, but you can get it earlier if you grind. Why waste your time grinding for that ability when you can continue on and get other abilities you’ll need, and get the cool one along the way? I hope that makes it a bit more easy to understand. Either way, for now, fuck Starswirl.
Because one way or another, he’s keeping me in suspense. If there’s nothing to be done, then I had hope for nothing. If there is something that can be done, then I waited for longer than I might have had to. It’s a huge clusterfuck. Besides that though, the thing that allowed me to find all this out: my eye. Starswirl’s not the only one who’s been doing some researching. It seems Luna has been doing some snooping around of her own. She’s been trying to find out more about my eye, which definitely has my interest piqued. I never really thought about it as an explorable option, not just because I can’t move on my own, but because I didn’t think there would even be any information on it to begin with.
Turns out, I think I really got the short end of the stick. From what I saw Luna looking at, the one who had the eye before me was really powerful. They never had a chance to actually study the eye, as once he was killed, the eye disappeared; likely to where I found it. Now whether their power was attributed to the eye, or something else, I’m not sure. Last one who had it was also a human; or at the very least, looked human. No way to be sure. And last I checked, humans didn’t run around with powers capable of destroying life as we know it.
That’s another thought though… Man, I haven’t thought about humans in a long time. Anyone in the world I knew is now gone; whether that be due to natural causes, murder, or the world somehow came to an end. My family left to wonder where I went; never to know how I disappeared off the face of the earth. My friends all grown up, met someone who made them happy, had kids of their own, who went on to repeat the cycle. Even they are gone. But the worst part of it all? I can’t remember what any of them looked like, nor their names. My friends, my dog, my sister, my mom and dad… all are just blanks. Any character from any book, movie, game, all blanks. I only remember the fact that I know what they are. It’s a depressing thought; but it only upsets me for the fact that I lost something, not what it was. Can’t miss something if you don’t remember what it was, right?
Holy fuck, I completely went off track. Pending death really gets one to think, doesn’t it? Hell, I would have kept going had I not noticed the big hulking thing walking towards me. Wide fella, has wings, top heavy, furry, has a tail, a belt, and oddly enough, a triangle shaped necklace. I’ve seen him around a little bit, but not much. Apparently he’s Starswirl’s friend. And he ain’t alone right now. The very same old mage along with Luna are heading my way. Why? Ask them yourself; I’d do it myself but something tells me you’d have better luck than I would.
“Pray tell, what is this? And why have you brought me to it? I’ve never seen anything like it, not even in the Nether Lands.” asked Starswirl’s friend, who also happens to look weird as fuck. Yeah, I didn’t say shit about you but you’re quick to assume I’m some sort of whore hound from hell or something ain’tcha.
Luna at least had my back as she had it in her to look somewhat offended. “This, Scorpan, is Null. He appeared in Equestria around the time Discord was wreaking havoc.” She lets out a disappointed sigh. “Unfortunately, I foolishly gave in to my sisters fears of him and helped imprisoned him in stone with the elements of harmony.”
“You used the elements of harmony on him. But now you regret this decision? More importantly, what would cause your sister fear of such a small creature? He hardly seems dangerous.” he says with a confused look as he continues to examine me.
“Yes, I regret it dearly. It was a hastily made decision, and almost groundless. What causes Null to scare Celestia? Well, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little scared as well. The possibility of what could have happened couldn’t be ignored, but I wish we had went about it differently. But to answer the question, he possessed what we call a Left Eye.”
“Left Eye?” Scorpan parrots questioningly, finally tearing his gaze from me. Bout time too, he’s adding onto the heeby jeeby shivers that are just piling up.
Starswirl decides to chime in this time before Luna could respond. “The Left Eye; a mark bearing great power. A long time ago, another creature similar to Null here nearly wiped out all life in existence. He also had the Left Eye. at first, we thought it was just unique to him, but if Null has it, we know it can’t have been.” he scratches his beard in thought, while Luna stares at him somewhat slack jawed.
“Starswirl, you were around when Harbinger was?!”
This was new information for me. I had never known the name of the one before me, and now my curiosity was piqued; everything else be damned!
Starswirl simply looks at Luna, then realizes what she asked as his eyes go wide and he laughs awkwardly. “N-no, perhaps I phrased something wrong. I was not around at the time; however, an ancestor of mine was. And he kept a journal that for a page or two, detailed his observations of Harbinger. They weren’t much, and hardly worth looking at. In fact I believe you have already read it if you know that it was called Harbinger.” he tacks on at the end.
Luna lets out an ‘oh’ and falls back into silence. A silence Scorpan decides to break. “I see. That still doesn’t tell me why you brought me to it.”
Yeah, why did you bring this thing to me?
“Well, you said you wanted to know more about Equestrian Culture. I figured I would show you one last piece before we go to fight your brother, as the unfortunate reality is: we might not get another chance to share like this again.” Luna says with a bit of sorrow in her voice.
Scorpan, confusingly, takes on a look of disdain at the mention of his brother. Frankly, I didn’t know the freak had a brother. “I’ve tried to convince my brother to forgo his plans to rend Equestria of its magic; that doing so would bring about a societal collapse.” he lets out a sigh as he turns back and faces me directly, which threw me off because he’s at eye level with me; I’m not used to that. “But he would hear none of it. Said that you’re kind was below us. That you should be lucky he doesn’t kill you all outright.” His expression morphs from disdain to outright disgust as he continues to talk about his brother. “But I’ve seen the damage he can cause. When he feeds, it leaves them a husk of their former selves. Devoid of any magic, barely able to stand, left to just rot in the elements. And even if he was defeated and the stolen magic returned, there will be many who will not recover. He has no magic of his own; so when he absorbs and uses the magic of others, that magic is expunged. Gone and used forever. Never to be returned to its owner, and leaving them in such a state in which they cannot help themselves. Which is why we need to put him down as swiftly as possible.” his expression finally settles on one of anger, and he takes a few breaths to calm himself. “I apologize as I have probably downplayed the severity of this issue in the past, but I made the mistake of believing my brother could change.”
Luna and Starswirl are stunned in silence, but angered nonetheless. Not at Scorpan, but at his brother for doing such things without a single thought about the repercussions his actions have on his victims.
Scorpan is disturbed from his brooding as a raindrop hits his head and causes him to look up into the sky. Odd, as it’s winter time. Just cold enough to make the rain freezing, but not enough to make it snow. Combine that with a darkened sky, the sun blocked out by clouds entirely? That’s the scene I have in front of me. Scorpan looks at me again, and this time, his eyes catch mine just right, causing me to internally yell out in pain. Despite having done it before, it has never been a seamless transition; always a huge pain. Scorpan, for his part, seems to only have a twitch in his eye, which I assume he must have passed off as a raindrop, as he doesn’t say anything regarding it.
As his vision comes into focus for me, I can see myself once again. And absolutely NOTHING has changed. Did I expect anything to change? Not really… but one can always hope, right? Wait… what… no fucking way…. SON OF A BITCH! FUCK BIRDS! THAT IS CLEARLY BIRD CRAP ON MY SHOULDER! The world is ending, and a bird decides to be the final fuck you to me… fucking amazing. It better wash off in the rain…
Scorpan turns his sight away from me as Celestia descends from her tower directly to them. And once again, the moving vision is causing turmoil in my head. I’m handling it well enough though. “It is nearly time. Are we all ready?” Celestia asks the small group.
Luna and Starswirl give off a nod, while Scorpan turned from her and faced the forest that surrounds the castle and village. Letting out a snort through his nose, he nods. “I suppose it’s time to end Tirek’s conquest, isn’t it… we’ll need to end this quickly to maximize the amount who will recover.”
Celestia taps on Scorpan’s shoulder, causing him to turn around and look down at her. “We have the plan. But it will require Tirek to be distracted long enough to give us an opening.”
The hell are you planning on doing? You want a new lawn ornament or something?
Luna nods in agreement with her sister. “Yes, Starswirl’s research on the elements have revealed some new properties. With a bit of influence, hopefully we can use them to extract the magic Tirek has stolen and return it to where it belongs. After that, we’ll end him.”
Scorpan shakes his head. “Returning the magic is the top priority. Evil or not, he is still my brother and I won’t kill him. He needs to pay for his crimes anyways, not take an easy way out. We’ll banish him. Something I’m sure you two are capable of?” he asks as he continues to look out into the forest above the treeline.
From my own view, I see Celestia and Luna glance at each other with looks I can’t quite place… unease perhaps? Maybe they know how but have never done it.
But if that’s the case, they don’t let it show as Celestia speaks up. “Y-yes, that is something we can do.” she lets out a sigh. “I’m sorry Scorpan, but if for any reason it fails, we will have to… you know.”
Way to show no hesitation princess… truly a great leader. Even Scorpan can tell you aren’t exactly telling the truth as his eyes dart down to the side. He turns around and faces the princesses. “You sound unsure. Whether that be because you do not believe yourselves capable of banishing him, or you really fear it won’t work for some other reason, I don’t need to know. However, you need to trust in the path of mercy. Your nation is so peaceful, yet so ready for war at the drop of a hat. Developing more and more will only push others to try and keep up. Think, if you had not befriended me, you and your nation would have fell. It was friendship that brought us together, friendship that will see us through today, friendship that will have you banish Tirek, and if you are smart, friendship that will lead you to the future. Always remember that.”
Luna speaks up at that, somewhat indignantly. “You expect us to simply roll over and befriend any who are against us?”
Scorpan scoffs. “Hardly. Of course, be ready to defend yourselves. I’m simply suggesting you arm one hand, but offer the other. Friendship is a very powerful thing. No one can stand alone against everything. Remember that.”
They are about to say something back, are interrupted when a faint thud is heard in the distance. Then the crack of a tree falling. A louder thud. It continues to get louder and louder, and Scopran finally turns around. When he does, I see some trees falling towards us, and after a moment, a red centaur emerges from the treeline.
He seems to stare at the group for a moment, possibly sizing them up. Even through the stone, I can feel the tension rising. Finally, after a solid minute of constant eye contact, Scopran breaks the silence. “Tirek. You know I stand here as your enemy, not your brother; I will not hold back.”
Tirek scoffs, showing no sign of caring. “So be it. If you cannot help, you are useless to me. And if you cannot help me, you are against me. You were against me the moment we set hoof here. Your interference will end here!” he charges forward at Scorpan, who also charges forward to meet him halfway.
I see Celestia and Luna don their armour with magic and summon their Halberd and Swords respectively. Starswirl stands there with his eyes closed and horn glowing. What are you doing old man…
Celestia and Luna dart off and crash into Tirek head on, pushing him back a bit, both on either side of Scorpan. Tirek smirks and opens his mouth, but before he can do anything, Scorpan lets Tirek push his momentum, and uses it to swing him around back the way he came; interrupting whatever tirek was doing. Starswirl finally opens his eyes and they are glowing white. He teleports away, and through Scorpan’s vision, who has jumped high and flown far to keep Tirek in his sight, I see Starswirl Reappear on over top of Tirek and shoot a ball of magic at him. This ball connects with Tirek and explodes like a tripwire mine, sending him flying down towards the ground. Celestia and Luna catch up and meet Tirek as he hits the ground and goes skidding; trying to get up, The princesses slam into him, driving him even further from the castle due to his uneven footing. Scorpan flies down and slams on him from above, and starts laying into him with a series of punches.
Tirek seems to finally have had enough, as he blasts Scorpan off of him with a huge beam of magic that obscures our vision. As scorpan goes flying, I can hear another explosion go off somewhere around him and see his vision jerk around a bit. This repeats itself a few times before another kind of explosion, and the sound of Tirek yelling out is heard. Scorpan’s vision clears slowly, the white light fading to allow him to get a view of his surroundings. Around him, the tree’s are almost all have their top halves blown off, others with chunks missing. Scorpan looks up to see Starswirl blasting Tirek with a beam of magic, and Celestia and Luna charging at Tirek from behind, weapons at the ready to stab into him. Tirek jumps before he can be impaled, causing Starswirl’s magic to nearly hit the princesses, who luckily saw it hurtling towards them and peel off to either side.
Watching this fight go on, I get flashbacks to when They fought Sombra. Everything is so similar, yet different. Once again, there is no music, no perfect view of every part of the action. Simply the sound of combat. It’s a unique sound, not heard very often. It’s… refreshing; As morbid as that sounds.
I’m thrown from my moment of thought as Scorpan lands in front of tirek, and they start to exchange a series of blows. After a moment, Tirek starts to overpower his brother with punches and elbows, and goes in to spear him. Scorpan takes the hit, and grabs onto him and lifts him up, fucking piledriving his ass hard into the ground, and kicks him away hard.
Starswirl catches up once again, but his white eyes seem to be fading a bit; this is probably very taxing on him. Nonetheless, he still manages to cast his next spell, which appears to be a gridlock barrier around Tirek, the inside of which is soon rained down upon by fucking meteors! Tirek, confused by the barrier, didn’t see the meteors coming and starts to get absolutely pounded by each one as they explode on contact with him. Starswirl immediately starts casting another spell, this one being a series of lightning bolts slamming down on Tirek from the sky.
Tirek appears to have had enough of this as he lets out a huge scream, and does something which shatters the barrier around him, sending fragments of magic flying, which all impale themselves on trees before fading away. “Enough! I have let this go on far too long!” he yells out. “I’ll kill you!” he yells out before charging Scorpan with his horns pointed directly at him.
Scorpan is unable to react as Tirek was too fast, and gets impaled by his horns. Scorpan’s breath catches, and he looks down at his older brother, both horns bloody and stabbed through him. He regains his sense of self, and grabs onto tireks horns, trying to either pull them out or break them. Before he can make any headway, Tirek starts to gather magic at his horns, which causes whatever he’s casting to go on directly inside of Scorpan. The spell seems to be a fire spell, as an orange glow emits from inside his abdomen. Scorpan falls to the ground, unable to scream as he’s in a state of shock, and Tirek rips his horns out. “You were always useless.” Tirek states with indifference, and turns to walk away.
However, before he’s able to, a rainbow seems to slam into him, causing him to let out an ear splitting shriek. What this rainbow is doing to him, I don’t know, but seeing it scares the absolute shit out of me. I’ve only seen it one other time, and back then, it was directed at me.
Wisps of all sorts of colors start flying away from Tirek, heading in all kinds of directions. Through the rainbow, I can see his silhouette getting smaller and smaller, and until a portal opens up next to the rainbow. The rainbow disappears, leaving tirek standing there, confused and angry. He can’t do anything however, because Celestia and Luna slam into him from the side and kick his ass into the portal, then cut off the magic flowing from their horns, thus closing the portal.
The vision starts to fade away, and disappears completely as I assume Scorpan is either dying or passing out from blood loss and having his innards fried. But just because his vision fades, doesn’t mean mine is what I see. Once again, my vision is going blank. My final thoughts going out to Scorpan, hoping he walks away from this alright. I won’t be able to see it, but I’m sure I’ll find out one way or another.
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Huzza! An update!
Yup, he's losing/lost black/white morality and drifting to something much more abstract. Which will mean that by the time he gets loose he will either have discarded his grudge as a useless affectation, or made it his sole reason for existence.
Yesss! More updates!!
You get your fucking wake-up music ready.
Still hope he gets revenge.
But this was am awesome chapter! Looking forward to the day he breaks free from his prison.......and kicks celestia's ass! Xd
Must say, that song. It fits perfectly for this story. Good job.
9423462
Either way its nit something that can be forgiven, given their choice was a fate worse that death as his very identity is stripped away by time. The magic of friendship sure as hell can't fix the real problem, not that they'll ever be actually willing to admit they're abhorrent. Or actually let him out.
9423560
hm... Null kicking Celestias ass... lets see, his abilities range from seeing things from other peoples eyes, and essentially a scan. (as of right now that is) hes a 14 year old boy physically. what is he gonna do against Celestia?
I'm really enjoying this story and I hope when/if he breaks free you keep to the formula, about how all this time would change him, he would no longer be some emotional teenager. looking forward to how you make him act, kinda hope he doesn't just act casual with luna, there is a difference to being in someone's presence and then talking to them, like internet friends, you might be completely open with someone on the internet but when you meet them in real life it's like the first time you've ever spoken with them, things are slow and even awkward, so yeah hoping he doesn't just talk to Luna casually or overly emotionally
I think that in the end, he'll get free, Celestia and the others will try to confront him but in true MLP fashion, he'll sing the very song that now defines him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tszL5B6AlCg
After which he will most likely walk away from a flabbergasted royal family to only god knows where.
9355510
Why not call it the Oculus then? That sounds fancy shmancy mythology-like.
9423507
YES!
9423658
I'm sure that power eye of his will even the odds. Xd
After all if the last person with the eye almost destroyed the world, then I would think some celestia ass kicking wouldnt be impossible. Xp
9423658
Guilt trip her into oblivion
9423796
Depending on how much information the eye can deliver, even just the scan ability can win fights on its own, by telling Null exactly what to do to win.
Or completely analyze a given spell before it was finished being cast, and generating the perfect counterspell in the process.
It all depends on the volume and type of information the eye compiles, making it range from useless to godlike.
9423770
In human mythology, sure. But these are ponies. Either way, what's done is done.
9423862
Thanks, I try. I personally don't think it's that good, compared to that of those who I proof for or others I read, but it's good to know someone thought it was good.
9423915
But as of right now, the eye is purely utility. Physically he's a 14 year old boy. Exactly how he was when he got there. Even if he knows what to do, he's physically unable to do so. His body just can't keep up like that.
9424026
Yes, and on second though it does make sense. Ponies always were more literal. At this point I wouldn't be surprised if a stripper'd be named North Pole or if a teacher's be named Black Board.
You know from the moment they stoned our protagonist, when Luna and Celestia said
All I can hear in my head is Master Oogway saying
9423462
I think it would both be interesting and unique if his morality warps/changes from black and white to blue and orange. He would have a sense of morality though it would be greatly distorted and even possible nonsensical from an outsiders point of view.
Existing only for the sake of revenge seems kinda clique and especially if he’s does it in a ‘normal way’. I think it would be more interesting if his revenge comes in the form of bizarre behavior, strange acts, or petty pranks. Not to mention the interaction between the characters could be funny, serious, dark or even philosophical.
By the way great story, looking forward to future chapters.
9424184
Thank you! I have things planned... I can't say what tho, that would be telling ;P
9423658
That’s easy:
He is the one.
Kidding kidding. :P
9424357
Nah. Once you know how to do it and the assumptions you need to make, all it takes is a calculator and about 10 minutes of your time. Just google “calculator” or “scientific calculator” and Google will bring one up for you. Even better, you could just type in the equation into your search bar!
9423817
Literally this
Das ist gut.
That's... Pretty boring though.
Something happens, but mc had no role in it. Moreover, he constantly shows that he's going crazy.
Well, I see no direction or point in this story, beside recounting history once again from different points of view. What will you do then, when time reaches present? Let Twilight or Spike to look into his eyes and recount all seasons? Or free him and end the story? There is no development now, and with the speed of your publishing... I have no hope.
Whatever. Do what you want.
9424858
Remember, he’s trapped for 1000 years. NMM was in the moon for 1000 years, so it won’t reach present. My theory is that his freedom will have something to do with Luna going full NMM. That’s the payoff I hope to see.
This is a good read, hope it continues to be updated.
This is an actually interesting take on the 'see the past of equestria' style of story.
9436228
Luna? ....most probably, she is the one that's more or less kept him safe thru out the years. Thou he is a little angry at her for her involvement.
9423507
you're distinct lack of mlp offends me. You are offensive. I shall now rectify your utter all encompassing offensiveness with pony. I sincerely hope we do not have to have this conversation again
9449001
Why... Just why...
9449152
Because God and the baby Jesus love you whole lotsa big bunches
9449001
That video always makes me laugh
9424070
"Stupid horse bitch!" he screams as he kicked her in the fetlocks.
9457411
Lol. He's still mentally way older than 14. He isn't as childish as to try and kick her shins. Ya know that feeling of wanting to really hurt something? Like to just actually hurt something. That's what he feels. And guess what? There's plenty of ways to hurt someone without touching them ;P
I'm interested.
You have some things going on here that make very little sense.
On day 115340, you have Celestia making a very big deal out of the fact that he did something to her. Begging that whatever it was, it was not malicious. She and Luna then immediately proceed to battle with the big bad and defeat him in personal combat. With Luna telling her that he's helpful, all the military praying to him that he aid them in battle, and then Celestia personally experiencing his involvement right before winning a critical battle...wouldn't the completely obvious conclusion be that he's helping?
And yet in the following chapter, day 144540, eighty years have gone by with nothing happening. You've basically pushed a giant reset button and everything is the same as it was before any of this happened. She knows that he's in there, but after 80 years she still hasn't done anything to advance efforts to get him out? How can you possibly justify that? What, is she still not convinced that he's not evil? Ok, then why would she leave him in the garden where any stray pony might be influenced by the crazy big bad magical villain, instead of...oh, I don't know, bringing him inside and putting him behind locked doors?
Because if I were the leader of a nation worried about a big bad I'd imprisoned in stone and had just personally confirmed that he was able to magically affect ponies in strange ways I didn't understand simply by making eye contact, I sure wouldn't leave him in plain view in the garden for any random pony to make eye contact with.
Which leads us to another problem: why was Luna unaffected? You've made it clear that his gaze has major effects on creatures who look into his eyes. Celestia immediately reacted to it, the random unicorn who caught his gaze ended up staying awake for three weeks, and the bird spent an entire day doing crazy flips and flight tricks. He appears to enhance the abilities of his host in very obvious ways when he sees through their eyes.
But then on day 144540 you have Luna gaining his sight, and yet...nothing happens? Celestia immediately realized something was going on. Why not Luna? And if she did notice, then why in the world wouldn't she have...oh, I don't know...maybe mentioned it to the magical researcher she put in charge of rescuing him? Maybe start making eye contact on purpose to try to learn more about it?
Instead, we fast forward to the next chapter, day 186880, you have both Starswirl and Scorpan catching his gaze, and now in both cases nothing very much happens, apart from Scorpan's twitchy eye. Why is it that random unicorn stayed up for three weeks and random bird was turned into an acrobat for a day, Celestia had an immediate big reaction and knew something was going on...but Luna, Starswirl and Scorpan all take the gaze without noticing and with nothing happening? Why is this so inconsistent?
Also in this chapter you introduce the idea that the previous wielder of "the Left Eye" was also a human. Creatures that from context, it seems ponies are otherwise unaware of. So, two of the same creatures both had exactly the same ability. Why are they acting like it's some strange thing that they acquired instead of assuming that it's simply a natural ability of humans? It's like you the author, forgot that these are ponies who don't know all about humans. At the same time, the whole thing comes off as a retcon. Read day 186880, and then go back and read day 32. Here, you have Luna knowing all about the harbinger, but in chapter one she knew all about the the Left Eye but called our protagonist an "it" as if she had no idea what a human was. How on day 32 would she know about the ability that humans in this story have without knowing what a human is? How on day 186880 would she still not know what the researcher she put in charge of removing him from stone on day 77380 already knew about it back then? For that matter, why on day 186880 is Luna surprised to discover that Starswirl knows about the Harbinger and asking if he'd been alive at that time? What, did she put him in charge of this rescue project and then they never spoke about it again over the course of 300 years? She did seriously expect that over those 300 years of magical research he'd never bothered to read about the previous instance of the same type of creature with the same ability?
Speaking of Starswirl, on day 186880 you have him revealing that he has this family heirloom journal that talks about the Harbinger, and yet for some reason at no point before now has he ever made any comment about the fact that the creature he's being asked to free is the same sort of creature. Why is it that on day 77380 you have him hanging out with the statue of a creature his ancestors warned him about, and yet he says he's never seen anything like it and asks what the sculptor was going for. And then when Luna specifically tells him that it was once a living creature...the same type of creature that his ancestors said nearly wiped out all life in existence...he's completely unphased by this, and when Luna asks him to free this creature, he casually agrees like it's no big deal.
Every chapter comes across as if you've forgotten everything that's happened in previous chapters, and a lot of the details make very little sense in the context of the story you've told so far.
9459089
woooooo boy. long one eh? first off, HUGE thank you for the criticism. everything you pointed out does have merit, though not all of it is correct. firstly, his gaze does NOT affect the "host" in any way shape or form. that bird doing acrobats just HAPPENED to be a very active bird. that guy who stayed up 3 weeks? legit just a crazy unicorn who stayed up 3 weeks with the aid of a spell. the critical battle? celestia and luna legitimately defeated him. I understand how you would think his gaze helps others, but it does not. all the military praying to him? remind you of anything? what do most people do before going off to do something they might not come back from? they pray. how he gained the following he has? how is any religion started? (admittedly this is from the opinion of an aithiest, and i wont delve into religion itself) but religion or following is started when word of mouth gets around. a princess taking interest in a statue would obviously cause interest in the public. they reviere them as godesses, so i would assume its not too far a stretch to say they might think of him as the same.
next, 80 years of nothing after the fight. its not a giant reset button, it is more so that 80 years of peace went by. Celestia does not KNOW that null is in there. it was such a small thing that happened that "might" have tipped her off, that it could be easily forgetable. but for the sake of arguement, she didn't forget. then what? say like you said, she feared him. if she feared him enough to want to put him away, she would fear him enough to fear what he might do if she did so. on top of which, he already has a following. having no explination, or worse, an explination that could upset the public, especially luna, would result in an absolute uproar, would it not? and as you said, NOTHING happened for 80 years. what reason would she have to believe that null was of aid in the fight against sombra? she wouldnt. 80 years of nothing went by; so she could easily blow it off as a fluke or trick of her mind. she was distracted by the upcoming battle after all. admittedly, this is not a GOOD excuse, but it is the one i'll roll with.
by no means am i trying to say that you are wrong in EVERYTHING you pointed out, but i will point out what you got wrong.
why was luna unaffected? why was ANYONE else unaffected? because he has NO control over it. it just happens. poor excuse, i know, but thats my reason. if thats not satisfactory for you, idk what to tell you. he is stuck as a statue, and his "eye" is stone. petrified in the same way he is, no longer an entity of itself, but of stone. but the eye itself is stubborn i guess you could say, forcing itself to work, despite the "wall" it faces.
Luna not noticing however, i admit is a fluke in my own design. but despite that, what would tip her off that it was null? celestia thought it was, but looked at what happened in as time went on, and saw nothing to support her assumption that null was watching through her eyes, which does not enhance her in any way. if Luna HAD gotten some sort of tip off, like the eye twinge, she could easily pass it off as a slight headache or something else. we all get random pains or other bits and things that happen to us. even then, why would luna not MENTION it if she had noticed? this is null recounting what happened in the inbetween time of each chapter. quick overview, not in full detail. if he did, i'd have to write millions of words each chapter. i guess any amount of pain that would tip off the "host" would be directed through any amount of hostility Null would feel towards the person hes viewing through. which, again, he has no control over.
Celestia not wanting to aid in trying to free null? i aint got much to say about that one honestly. She's busy running the country, and knows Star and Luna are already on it? sorry mate. not gonna try and think up a bs excuse when i got none, i admit when i fuck up.
jesus, only halfway ya?
i mentioned HUMANOID. but to the ponies, who would assume they are the same due to stance, sure. why would they not assume its just an innate ability humans had? untold secrets yet to be told. you think there was only ONE other before null who had the eye? hahahahahehell no. the one before null is just the only one they know about. assumedly, their parents would know about others before "the harbinger." its in the mark of the eye. the mark in the eye (which what it looks like will be revealed soon hopefully), is what marks them. think of it like a curse mark.
Star not thinking to research the harbinger? why would he? "detailed his observations of Harbinger. They weren’t much, and hardly worth looking at. In fact I believe you have already read it if you know that it was called Harbinger.”" mere obvservations, at most 2 pages worth, wouldn't be enough to go off of at all. on top of which, it wouldnt help him with his goal anyways. his goal is to UNDO the effects of the ELEMENTS. and to do so, he has to research the ELEMENTS. not the harbinger. as for why its taking so long? he's distracted and the elements really are just that complex. hell, in cannon there are still things about the elements we don't know. his ancestors did not warn him about the species the harbinger was, nor did they say anything ABOUT it directly. just some obvservations on WHAT it did when it was around. which, only a page or two of, would imply that whoever wrote the journal did not get to see much of it. a page or two of that, would easily be forgetable in a "family heirloom" as you put it. without it being brought up directly verbatim, would you remember what you wrote in a diary if you had one? i certainly wouldnt. if anything id ask, "did i actually write that?"
is it wrong it take the word of another, and go by whats going on around you to judge something? maybe. but thats what starswirl did. i believe he'd be the type of not judge a book by its cover. and even then, at the time, easily forgetable family heirloom, he could have just not remembered it at the time. on top of which, who's to say he never mentioned it to anyone? this is all from nulls perspective, and he only recounts what HE sees.
holy fuck, finally at the end of this. i tried my best to hit on everything you brought up, and i admit it may not all be good enough to say, "oh that makes sense, guess i was wrong" for ya; and i don't expect it to. i did my best to come up with an explination for everything, but sometimes there isnt one good enough; sometimes, things just are how they are. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
legitimately, thank you for taking the time to construct your comment and notice the various issues you did. i'll try to remember them next time to better myself as an author.
Pretty good. Please write more.
9461127
I think the gereal consensus is that even if they are trying, it isn't enough. They crossed a line in a way they cannot take back and they really can't be forgiven for what they've done, just work towards being less reprehensible for it.
9473076
To what are you referring to? I covered ALLOT of topics in that comment.
9475239
More in general the idea of they're in a situation qhere no matter what they do it still won't be ebough to make everything better. Or at least that's my take on the situation. *shrugs*
9475244
while i understand that, i just dont understand why you posted that comment as a reply to the long ass one i posted in response to someone else.
When will the next chapter be out
9457722
True. There's always "Hey, stupid horse bitch! Luna is Best Princess--and she STILL was even when she was Nightmare Moon! Cadence is second best, Then Twilight Sparkle. You? You're not even Fourth! That spot belongs to Chysalis! You? Discord still ranks higher than you do!"---and we wait until everyone mentioned is there to hear it when we tell her.
9482106
Heheh. He wouldn't even put anyone on a scale. He hates everyone equally. Just Tia a bit more lol.
9482104
HOPEFULLY soon. The next chapter is done, I'm just waiting on something from someone else. Until then I'ma be working on a quick side story that will be unrelated to this one. Fear not as this side story will not end up being a long one and driving my attention away from 1000 years, as I plan for this one to be very short. 3 chapters at most. Thank you for your patience.
Welp, nows as good an excuse as any to post Tirek related memes.
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