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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Trying to take Rarity's head off. A perfect defense!
Loving it so far.
Holly crap what a beatdown
That was an awesome chapter! So much action! So much story! Can't wait to see what happens next!
by nurgle i need more
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Me and Tb3 are working on it. Next chapter should be in the coming week, but no promises.
MOAR!
I saw him with a M4 strapped to his back, where the hell is it? oh and it would be a whole lot funnier if he had forgotten that he had grenades on him to kill them.
1075145
What gun? There was no gun. At least not yet anyways. maybe i missed something.
1075204 I took another look at what was on his back and realized that it's the star-spangled banner.
1075212
O...K?
GAH! Cliifhangers! How i loathe thee!
Oh my, that was fucking brutal.
BUT I NEED MOAR
I know some people are still gonna come in with outcries of 'marty stu' for that fight scene, but really, I think it's pretty realistic of what would happen when you drop a battle hardened marine into a situation and put him up against untrained, if extraordinary, civilians.
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Believe me when I say this. He is more than a simple marine.He is kind of special.Lil
Hmm. So he's a Marine?
I love how you integrated the flashbacks into the story. And the glimpse of the world this man came from adds greatly to the contrast between the Dark Equestria and this Equestria, which is more like the show.
On a sidenote, the alternate Element Bearers must be really nasty if merely seeing Mane Six caused him to fly into a berserk rage.
Also, will this Marine eventually learn that the Equestria he's in isn't the one he escaped from?
Finally, will we see the two Equestrias collide?
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Patience my dear reader you can't rush art!
God damn, talk about an ass beating. Well lets see if in the next chapter Celestia reacts as badly as she did in the original.
Ok, for some reason I am envisioning this guy similar to Bane from Batman (a mix of the comic book Bane and the movie Bane) and I can see him doing this.
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/8a/Bane_breaks_Batman.png/175px-Bane_breaks_Batman.png
1077234 I know you people are going to scream "HAXS" later on
SO MUCH WIN!!!!!
1077258 And we are going to love every minute of it. Well, I will, don't know about anyone else.
1076887 indeed master indeed
Wow just wow the only thing I got to wonder is why he did not try to break their horns.
1078295 give it time
1075231 I believe he was talking about the story cover art BTW is it from freedom fighters?
1078391 it was the only thing I could find and still fit. I was looking for something like those pictures called the two sides of harmony
Also yes it is
Nice. Now i wait for Celestia :P
1078401 Ah Freedom fighters part of a healthy gaming childhood along with Kingdom hearts and star wars battlefront.
Why does Pinkie Pie call him a Brony?
He obviously isn't that much into Love & Tolerance.
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Ask TB3, i think it is a play on the word 'Hey Bro!'
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publishersearch.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/cliffhanger.jpg
Oh....Okay. i guess i will let go now.
Enjoying this story immensely, thank you for sharing it! I will definitely be following this one :)
Oh, and it's nice to see Lyra given some limelight. Great backstory on her sofar! I can see her being the 1st to help the humans :)
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/covering_fire_by_paper_pony-d4m290k.gif
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Believe me when i say that this story will have a lot of explaining in it. In the form of memories and such, so it doesn't divert too much from the main story. It will explain a lot that most TCB stories seem to skim over.
Let me get this right: This is a rewrite version of the original story and the human character is toned down in this one? The guy that was rambling and cursing like a maniac and gleefully insulted the ponies while trying to cripple them is the toned down version? Do you still have the original chapters lying around somewhere? I really want to see how this guy was before all the changes.
Speaking about the human character, at first I didn’t like him because of all that random cursing and screaming. He really sounded like some kind of psycho, but I think that was your intention and considering what we know of his background his behavior made. Most likely he also has some psychological problems thanks to all the stuff he witnessed. Still, I’m glad that acted more rational in the second chapter.
The battle scene in chapter 2 felt a bit too constructed. While he tries to run away from Twilight he conveniently stumbles over the rest of the Mane Six and finish them off one by one, while ranting about how much he hates all the Ponies. Especially the ranting part felt a bit out of place. Why wasting energy to tell them how evil they are, instead of just beating them up? Again this is probably justified by his background but the character is more likeable if he doesn’t act like he’s off his meds.
Also where’s Luna? As far as I remember he only talked about how evil Celestia was. So what happened to her sister? Is she the good sister, again? Still on the moon? Killed off by the human resistance? Still around and evil? A lot of TCB stories to portray the ponies as evil and Celestia as some Pony-Hitler but ignoring her sister or turn the whole story into a NLR vs. SE with humans thrown in the mix.
That said, I like what you did so far. A human from a Ten Rounds universe in a peaceful Equestrian is an interesting concept and has lots of potential. I’m looking forward to the meeting between the human and the good Celestia. It’s going to be awkward.
One last thing: Why was Lyra hiding behind a bush in the first place? Is this a new hobby of hers?
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Hehe, this is 'tone down' compared to the original. The original was all screaming and all about bashing skulls and stuff. Basically, no character development whatsoever. More akin to 'ARGH! HUMAN SMASH PUNY PONY'. Sadly i deleted those chapters once i partnered up with TB3.
The human, which will be explained a bit more in the coming chapters, is still an ongoing developing character. We, TB3 and myself, decided to build him from the ground up as the story progress. We still have a lot info yet to be put out about him, mainly the name and his life, but we think giving bits and pieces would give him a bit of an strange allure. Already you know his basic bits, we are just getting started on his life.
The scene with Mane 6 fighting is a bit contructed, giving it a bit of dragon Ball z kind of feel to it. I didn't really want to do it like that, but it came out like that. Still, instead of long drawn out speeches, i tried to make them short and to the point. Why he went back to try and finish the job will be explain further on.
TBC Luna has yet to come out in the story for a reason. Please wait until further notice.
.....hehe....yes..awkward....
Its Lyra, the human/hands eccentric pony.....It felt right at the time, and still does.
Lyra: „Celestia is ready to meet you. Remember what I ‘veI told you? “
Human: “She’s not like the Celestia I know. She’s a kind and benevolent ruler who deeply careers for her people.”
Lyra: “Go on…”
Human: “And she would never force other species to become ponies against their will.”
Lyra: “So what are NOT going to do if you see her?”
Human: “I’m not screaming or calling her names or try to strangle her.”
Lyra: “Very good. So I think we can enter the throne room now.”
Celestia: “Welcome human. I’ve already heard about…”
Human: “It’s the Solar Tyrant! Die you cunt! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! CUNT! BITCH! CUNT! ARGGHHH!“
Lyra: „Well, at least I tried.“
Awkward indeed.
1098612
you are way way off base.
Just wait until friday...or saturday.
Oh I like this, I want to see Celestia's reaction to her evil Counterpart. When can we expect the next chapter? Do you have a schedule for updates?
Lack of updates saddens me. Though I can't really piss n' moan, it took me a month to update my story.
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It should be up this week. Right now I am waiting for TB3 side of the story. He is the the other writer of the story and he add a bit to the story to make it flow better. Right now though, he is in the middle of something at home, but he has worked on the story for the past week, so he should be almost done.
Right now, i am making the rough draft for chapter 4, so don't worry, we both are working hard to make this story work. I want this out as quickly too!
Fallout Equestria reference >;3
Wait... if he's a Marine, why didn't he try to cut his neck open instead of stabbing himself? It makes no sense.
I just realized something, they hit the shield directly, instead why didn't they just pile their nukes along one of the edges and detonate them that way? from what I've heard this shield destroys physical objects that cause the explosive reactions, you blow them up before they hit the shield you got either a massive crater with no shield (or a big hole in it) or nothing happens at all
The colour of magic
1074002 And technically they didn't even win it! They won only because he tripped and bumped his head.
1077258 No we weren't. You did it for us!
Fucking fell out of my chair.
What he did in the past is almost what every hater wanted to do to the ponies if they ever arrived in Equestria.