Chapter 15: Close Encounters Of The Furred Kind
I’ve had so many close shaves since my touchdown in Tartarus, surely my luck has to run out at some point… and that pivotal moment could be now. My feverish brain dared me to open my eyes, but my frayed nerves refused to comply with the request. That thunderous racket must mean something bad. I can’t imagine a situation where an ominous noise like that could be positive, unless it’s a rogue spaceship smashing through the roof to take me back home. Help me Elon Musk, you’re my only hope.
Realising that as tempting as it might’ve been, kneeling there with my eyes closed forever was wholly impractical, I slowly opened them with the eager enthusiasm of someone about to undergo dangerous lab experiments…
All it took was the slightest chink of light for both peepers to fully unveil, not in shock but total surprise.
Smoulder was still there, seemingly about as stunned as I felt. So was a upright-sitting Yona, looking as sheepish (or ‘yakkish’) as I’ve ever seen her....
...And then there was the huge gaping hole in the ground, and multiple pieces of wood scattered everywhere. Pretty sure that was new, at least.
This somewhat destructive outcome was unexpected. Not to mention a major splinter hazard.
“Yona, what were you thinking?! Belly-flopping through the floorboards like that...” A clearly exasperated Smoulder put my feelings into words, indicating the fragmented remains of Twilight’s expensive paneling with a single claw. “Somecreature was bound to hear you! What was it I just said, about the importance of secrecy and most of all silence?”
“Y-Yona sorry. S-She just heard Smoulder desperate to get into locked trapdoor and prove friend’s innocence, so she only want to help.” Yona looked about ready to burst into tears, and despite her glaring error I couldn’t help but feel like I’d just kicked a puppy. “Yona forget sometimes how loud she is. Other yaks never tell her ‘be quiet’ before coming here.”
“That may be so, but we have no more time to waste!” Smoulder moved with speed to clear away some of the loose debris lying about the area. “Come on you two, lend me your hooves so we can check around before the guards arrive. Which I would guess to be: any second now.”
Ulp. Smoulder’s stern warning there succeeded in breaking me from my temporary inertia, and without further hesitation I flew over to where the dragon frantically scrambled to shift the broken planks away…
...Coming face-to-face with a deadpan Yona whilst doing so.
“U-Um... Hi? How’s tricks?!” I greeted the staring yak with what I hoped was a genial expression, pairing it with a little wave which would hopefully break down the considerable barriers between us…
...Because if my peacemaking tactics didn’t work, and the yak was more convinced that this was an elaborate plot by Cozy to take over Equestria once more, she might just decide to break my face instead.
Holy shi… what the hay was I thinking? Did I have a death wish, suddenly popping up like that? Why didn’t I wait for Smoulder to properly introduce me? Now it’s probably gonna be an unplucked Mashed Cozy Glow for din-dins. My favourite. Not. “Aargh…”
As if to confirm my worst suspicions, Yona roughly grabbed me at that very moment in her strong hoofs, and it was with utmost certainty I expected to be pushing up daisies in the not-too-distant future.
I hadn’t even made out my last will and testament, either. Not that I actually have anything worth inheriting: when burglars broke into my shabby flat last year, nothing whatsoever was nicked and the cheeky sods even left behind a scrawled note saying ‘Is that it?’
Still, as penniless and destitute as I am, it’s the thought that counts, right?
But if my short time in this wacked-out world should’ve taught me anything, it’s that things aren’t always what they seem.
As I was about to find out, starting with what was supposedly a warm embrace. “Poor, poor Nigel. Stuck in nasty pony’s body. Yona will help anyway she can, and get other friends believing her too. You safe now, don’t worry about anything.”
Well, this is a turn-up for the books. Apparently, Smoulder has already handled the basic introductions, and done a much better job than I ever could. From beneath layers of thick yak fur I cast a rueful glance in the dragon’s direction, to which she only smirked before carrying on with her deconstruction duties. Only problem is, the biggest clear and present danger right now isn’t the cavalry arriving: it’s suffocation. “Gasp! C-Can’t b-breathe...”
Finally clocking that her affectionate administrations were more harmful than helpful, the remorseful yak dropped me like a sack of spuds. “Yona apologise again. Same way she forget being quiet, she doesn’t know own strength either. ‘Must try harder to remember these things’, Counselor Starlight tell her. In fact, she make special list for Yona to follow…”
“Okay, enough messing around.” Not for the first time, Smoulder acted as the voice of urgency to the clownish antics surrounding her. “While you two were wrestling and not helping at all, I found something interesting. Tell me N.N, do you recognise these?”
Attempting to make sure nothing was broken and straightening out my mussed plumage, I regarded Smoulder with a cynical eye, half-expecting to be disappointed yet again…
...Before my big mouth almost dropped to the floor. What was left of it, anyway.
“W-Wait. What you’re holding there. Could they be…?” I wanted to hope against hope, I really did. But after so many dead-ends and missed opportunities in my recent past, I planned to keep my exuberance in check for now.
“Yep. The very same things you told me got you stuck here in the first place. A long-dimensional wand, and a body-swap potion.” Smoulder held both artfacts up proudly, and my heart was just about to skip a beat.
“B-But, how do you know they’re the real thing?”
“Thank Headmare Twilight for that. She labels everything before putting it away, and always keeps valuable magical items in sets of two. In case she needs a spare for emergencies, I guess.” Smoulder shrugged her shoulders, whilst I began feeling as light as my feathers.
“Y-You mean, like the animals in Noah’s ark?!”
“What? Don’t be weird again Nigel, please. The point is… there was only one left of each of these. And I’m pretty sure Twilight hasn’t used either recently herself. Which can only mean…”
“...We’ve got that freaky filly bang-to-rights! It’s a slam-dunk case! A complete acquittal! Now we can go straight to Twilight, show her the evidence, and get me on the next wormhole back to Earth! Oh, how can I ever thank you Smoulder? When nocreature else cared, you were there for me. While everypony else hunted me like a rabid dog, you stood loyally by my side. What can I do to repay the kindness…” I didn’t usually get this cringingly emotional (except whilst drunk-to-the-gills on cheap alcohol) but I’m sure you’ll agree, this was a special circumstance.
“Hey. What about Yona? She help too. She keep Headmare away from friends, and busted open trapdoor where Smoulder found important items.” Yona seemed most put out at being left out of my effusive praise, and she snorted indignantly to prove it.
“Yona!! You beautiful, beautiful bovine! I would kiss you, but a fine lady deserves better than the likes of Cozy. Maybe try Sandbar: I hear he might be interested. Wink wink.” In my jubilant state of mind, I couldn’t resist the obvious ship-tease. In more ways than one.
“Oh brother. Here we go again…” Smoulder rolled her eyes for about the umpteenth time I brought my particular brand of lunacy to Ponyville, as Yona blushed beet red and I began dancing with an invisible partner.
In fact, everything was so fine, dandy and gosh-darn perfect, the peril of our present predicament completely slipped all of our respective minds…
...Until it was far too late.
“Yona. Smoulder. Step away from the fugitive right now, and slowly walk over to me.”
Smoulder’s bemusement, Yona’s embarrassment and my wild celebrations were erased in an instant, as all three of us spun round as one to see a seething Twilight hovering over the ruins of her office with no less than ten… no, twenty… maybe, thirty guards backing her up.
Well, how was I supposed to count properly whilst shaking so much? Even without the troops, it would’ve been an impossible fight anyway.
“I don’t know what’s been going on here, but clearly it’s all Cozy’s doing.” Twilight carried on talking, even as me and my pair of ‘accomplices’ seemed frozen in time. “We’ll get to the bottom of everything eventually, for now though the prisoner will be returned to custody and your parents will have to be informed. Just look at the state of this place! I suppose you wrecked the library downstairs, too. Whatever could’ve possessed you to do something so… heartless? My expertly-catalogued books, in complete disarray. Do you have any idea how long that took me?!”
I was paying attention to Twilight’s OCD-driven rant there, really I was.
But then, something amazing happened that opened up a whole new chapter in my zany misadventures.
You see, whilst Yona was filled with a deep sense of dishonour and shame at the thought of her folks back in Yakyakistan discovering her misbehaviour, Smoulder’s reaction was more one of outright terror.
Like, the sort of chills you’d get if someone dropped an ice lolly down your back. Whilst spending the night in a haunted house. With Shaggy nowhere to be found.
Did I mention you were Scooby-Doo in this random analogy? Probably not.
Anyway, who knows what horrors Mama and Papa Smoulder subjected her to reduce the usually self-assured dragon into a wobbly orange jelly?
I couldn’t tell you, but the intense fear was enough to make her drop something she held…
A puff of smoke and a blinding flash of light later, it was all over.
Suddenly, the room seemed that much smaller. “Huh? What happened now? Don’t tell me: more kooky stuff. Great. Do I win the jackpot yet?” I said these words in a different voice, but one that seemed oddly familiar.
“Yona. What’s the matter with you? You sound… different.” Twilight seemed to agree as she halted her lecture abruptly to show genuine concern for her hirsute student. But why was the alicorn looking... at me?
Meanwhile, as a panicking pink filly began galloping around the room bumping into things, a mortified Smoulder stood closer, a smashed vial near her feet and guilt written all over her face.
“Whoops. My bad.”
So there you have it. A slight change in the dynamics of the story, and things really will never be the same again. Bwhaha. 
Hope you enjoyed the latest update, and feel free to follow for a lot more crazy horseplay to come… 
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At lest they have evidence that the other set isn't there which could help?
10493993
but is it decisive evidence. At most this is circumstantial evidence since that mishap happened at the end is going to be hard to get rid of any misunderstanding. All they did was prove that body swapping is possible. They haven't proved that it happened, when it happened, or located the real cozy glow. Something tells me Nigel isn't going to get a fair trial so thought I should bring this up,
then again I kinda like where this is going if they somehow get the other young six into this somehow ending up with a boss battle between Cozy glow in nigel's body returning to equestria with human tech.
10493993
10494096
So many directions this story could go in, only one possible outcome. But all will be revealed... eventually
10494124
death?
10494128
Checks tags Well I don't see any 'sad' label, so maybe not.
10494137
drama can be sad... i think. my best guess is cozy has done something bad over on earth that will either stop or make it impossible for a retern
10494140
Well even if something like that did happen it’ll be silly to reveal it here before it’s even written. Suffice to say, I worked out how the rest of the story is gonna go last week. Now all I have to do is finish it...
(Reads chapter title)
Wasn't that a Bubsy game?
Correction: That was Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind. My mistake.
10494197
I would never rip off Bubsy. He rocks.
Not so much in Bubsy 3D, though. I've heard things. Bbaadd things...
great update!, Now Twi really has no choice but to listen!
So no more Nigle as Cozy? Darn I enjoyed that.
10494401
We’ll see won’t we
10494424
Again, who knows what’ll happen next. Stay tuned.
10494424
I am going to guess Nigel is currently Smolder, , Smolder is currently Yona, and Yona is currently Cozy
10494448
Well, one out of three ain’t bad. Just take Smoulder out of the equation aanndd...
...why do I get the feeling that this body swap stupidity (not that it's bad just that the body swapping is shenanigans) is going to happen again and not to the right people
10494500
10494558
Because everything that can go wrong, usually does?
10494610
Exactly.
So, good news, this will probably convince Twilight of what Cozy actually did.
Bad news... that was the last Body Swap potion, wasn't it?
Exactly what did Twilight plan to use that potion for?
Eh
Feels like we might be nearing the end given the evidence. Or what's left of it.
Well on the bright side they aren't in Cozy's body anymore.
10494719
Well, Smoulder did say there was only two, ssoooo...
10495160
10495320
Yep.
10495344
I'm not rushing to the finish line, but I won't prolong the end for the sake of it. In other words: not too much filler, hopefully.
10495984
He or she, it probably doesn't matter to Nigel... as long as they get home...
10496032
Take your time and don't rush. Definitely this is a conundrum that Smolder may or may not have intentionally caused to stall until proven innocent.
10494558
Murphy. Need I say more?
We figured if they did recover the body swap potion it would be unwittingly used, but like this? This is funnier. Question is, is the change permanent? Potions usually have different rules to spells...