I should be brave. I know I should be brave. I've seen it more times than most ponies will ever know. But seeing it on my own for the first time only showed me how unprepared I was. It's so different this way. So frightening. And there's nopony to tell me what to do, how to feel. I don't trust my mind to guide me, betray me. It wanders to horrible places.
I peered into oblivion yesterday.
And I blinked.
I have the rest of my life to fix this. It starts today.
A stream-of-consciousness narrative. This narrative mode is very different from conventional 1st and 3rd person narrative modes and may appear oddly written or be difficult to read. I have posted an explanation of this story and the personal struggles that led to its creation here.
Chapters (1)
I admit to not having too much respect for Fluttershy, but this is just...embarrassing, for lack of a better word. It's like someone made a mopy hipster undergo a lobotomy and reenact that old Family Guy bit about the plastic bag and camera. The "story" rambles on, you somehow forgot to capitalise the title, the "PitY mE!" message fizzled, and the tone was just...flat.
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I am well aware of the technical abnormalities and the rambly nature; they're intentional. You may have missed the point. Nowhere in the story does Fluttershy ask for pity—the "message" is in the description. If Fluttershy appears a pathetic character, she knows that, frankly. Read the linked blog post if you haven't.
This story wasn't written to be exciting or to have an engaging plot; stream-of-consciousness as a narrative mode doesn't lend itself to many story types (hence why it's not frequently used). If you don't enjoy the story regardless, that's fair—as you say, this story is, in some ways, not a story.
I appreciate you voicing your thoughts and explaining your malcontent.
This is so real and relevant to me. Thank you for writing this, you are very skilled.
I tried about three times to write something, and they all came out banal.
Stream-of-Consciousness writing is nearly impossible to get right. Kudos for even trying, and you're amazing for doing it as well as you did, especially for a character like Fluttershy.
We're here for you Tai, you are never a bother.
I don't normally read stream of consciousness, so I don't know how it compares to other stories in the same style, but I liked it. I keep coming back to Fluttershy's insistence that in a week the memory will be gone and it won't matter. I think that's mostly because I don't agree. The memory may fade, but that doesn't mean it didn't matter. There are big moments that shape us, but life is really made of small moments. I can think of a million little ways people have made a difference in my life that they probably forgot a long time ago. I know we haven't talked in a long time, but I'm reading this story and writing this comment because you touched my life in a positive way. Some of the details are gone from my memory, but the impact remains.
I read the accompanying blog post. I wish I could say something comforting or offer some meaningful assistance to you. All I can really do is tell you that I do care about you. I'm sure a lot of people care about you. I hope you know that.