• Published 17th Feb 2019
  • 3,099 Views, 24 Comments

Tales of Non-Necromantic Oversight - Nobodyslament



When the worlds gone mad, even a short glimpse of a single story can force a smile.

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Stone Sunset

You couldn't throw a dart at a map of Equestria and hit a place that Ragar hadn't left some strange clue or hint at. This knowledge was known to a select few. Celestia had known for a long time that Ragar liked to leave souvenirs, but she had never had the pleasure of knowing what all of them were. At least, not until recently. With the insatiable lust for knowledge and power her student Sunset Shimmer, trying to find Ragar was a natural fit for her. An outlet for her great abilities where she was pushed beyond what a classroom could provide.

Or, that's what Sunset assumed. The other option that flitted around in her head was much crueler than she thought. The only other option she could think of was that she had managed to get Celestia so mad that she was sent on an errand that would surely cause her to go insane. Those were the only options on the table, mostly due to what she had found in front of her.

An ancient tablet that was written in a language she couldn't translate. Magic seemed to splash off of the stone, and the symbols were alien and strange. The insanity came in when it talked to her. A deep-throated accent mocking her every step of the way. "This is attempt two-hundred, Da? Should we be going again, or will we relax and drink together?"

Sunset's eye twitched. "I am going to try again! You can't even drink things, you're a hunk of stone!"

The stone took a moment to respond. "That is true, but I still want drink."

Sunset slapped her forehead. "Couldn't you at least actually speak Equestrian at least? You cut words and it's giving me a headache."

The stone let out a laugh. "So many useless in your tongue. Removing them better, saves time. I could home language?"

Sunset sighed. "Fine, whatever. I speak a fair few, maybe I can keep up and remove headache."

The stone tablet laughed again. "Салли пони не говорит по русски. Русские дают хуже головную боль."

Sunset glared at the tablet. "Seriously? Is that the same language as this stupid tablet, because if so I'm just chucking it."

The text shifted slightly on the tablet, changing symbols to a different language. The stone spoke again. "Ha! Silly pony, It now matches. Now chuck in nearest crypt, I will track down boss there."

With steady hooves, Sunset calmly out the tablet down. Her horn sparked, a small lance of fire falling from the tip and melting dirt and grass under her before it had the chance to set alight. Her next sentence came through gritted teeth, each word grinding out in an almost painfully slow pace. "So if you can change the language of the text, can you make it so I can read it?"

There was a pause. "Crap. Now I must translate. I do not like this." The text warped and twisted, coming to rest at a variant of Equestrian that, despite its century-old style, was indeed translateable.

She read it for a moment, and then calmly turned around. Her journal popped out of her saddlebags, and a quill floated beside it. After a moment of musing her quill wrote a single sentence on the page, before the journal snapped shut. She took a few deep breaths. "Okay, lets recap. Recaps are good."

The tablet spoke up. "Recaps are good. They let me know exactly why you read me, da?"

Sunset studiously ignored the tablet. "So Zebrica had the sealed crypt, which is the oldest structure I've found relating to Ragar. A small etching there led me to the En-deer-ing woods, which held a small group of skeletons manning a fast food cart. They pointed me to Catro, which had a strange museum." Sunset began trotting back and forth. "Which is what led me here, with this stupid tablet."

With her piece spoke, the tablet spoke up. "I am not stupid! I just don't like you."

Sunset continued her rant, ignoring the tablet. "Which just told me that apparently, Ragar needed to buy some Bucking milk, and he was going to visit Celestia!" She took a deep breath. "So now I have to go all the way to Canterlot because he wanted some of Celestia's Tea!"

Sunset took a few moments to calm herself down. "And, just to top it all off, I have to take this tablet with me. Because I would bet money those stodgy folks in the mages tower are going to want to poke and prode all the enchantments on it."

The tablet spoke up again, getting slightly angry. "They will get nowhere! I will make smoke cloud vision like cloud of death!"

Sunset levitated the tablet up, placing it in her pack. "I really hate my life right now."

A voice came from her pack, muffled by canvas and metal. "I hate your life to."

Comments ( 17 )

I had wondered what happened to Sunset on this go around, lovely! A challenge like this is just what she needed.

9463818
Yep, this whole thing is written to answer little questions like that.

Oh, after several re-readings, I finally figured out what happened here. Ragar, you horrible, horrible being.

9463836
Everyone loves scavenger hunts!

This is so amusing! The tablet is the best, though a shame he's unable to drink!

9463862
Russian tablet is best tablet.

Wonder if it’s that pony Ragar cursed.

9463965
Nope, that's an ancient tablet. Sunset is on a quest to find Ragar, and he turned it into a scavenger hunt.

9464046
For some reason I attributed the voice in her pack to something other than the tablet. Honestly not sure why.

9464046 9464141 It took me a second to figure it out myself. Perhaps changing:

Sunset levitated the tablet up, placing it in her pack.

to something along the lines of:

Sunset levitated the tablet into her pack.

would make it harder to gloss over...

he wanted some of Celestia's Tea

How lewd.

The rock is a Rag-olith!

Well I think I’ve fallen in a live with this and it’s main story

Comment posted by GuardianofRoin deleted Aug 3rd, 2022

Stone tablet that talk... it should be grateful to encounter Sunset rather than Maud.

Don't you just hate when text switches to another language but halfway through you remember you can't read russian even though you just read "pony does not speak Russian" just fine?

Seriously a sequel with two chapters alone and I'm already laughing my ass off. You are a wizard with words. How do you do it? HOW!!!! These chapters are so small and so funny. I want more

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