Writing and loving short stories of all kinds, I'd like to think I'm half-good!
The princess has been poisoned by sea pony venom, and Twilight is dead-set on finding the cure. She takes her loyal friends over the deadly seapony shores, but Fluttershy seems to be the only one to question the mission.
A short POV story
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I...um...who needs sleep?
Whoa. That was pretty crazy.
People, don't hate me, but that was better than Rainbow Factory or Cupcakes.
That was awesome!
I hope you die, I hope you die a slow painful death.
Oh lord....
That be some creepy, yet awesomely written, stuff right there.
You deserve a moustache:
Well then! I'm going to have fun trying to sleep tonight!
I applaud, bravo!
This story has been reviewed by The Equestrian Critics Society.
Story Title: The Seaponies
Author: Citrus Shine
Reviewed by: Blankscape
In the end, this title really doesn’t have anything else to offer past its attempts to terrify readers. Its unengaging plot and narrative won’t satisfy those out for a more holistic and complete story and limits itself to those only out for a scare. It is a spur of the moment tale as opposed to the epics that last long after they’ve been completed, something for the casual reader.
Full Review
Score: 5/10
2510280
Well gosh darn it at least I got a five
Shows my skill at short story writing
2783575
Well, the story had the action needed. Not the fast, hard-hitting type you see in movies like Mission Impossible or Die Hard, but 'action' which is what actually happens in the story itself from start to finish. Basically, it fit the mood you were going for, but what put the story down for me was the obvious lack of character arcing. It's the change within the character that shows they are different from who they were at the beginning, and it's one of the things I look out for when reviewing stories
Your story isn't bad, it just didn't impress me that you just had them row off to open waters to die. Here's an example of a dark, short story that not only has major character arcing but is complete is almost every way. It's one of the titles I'm assigned to review this month, and I found it captivating from beginning to end, the first story I gave a 10 out of 10. I hope it'll be a good example for you
Very nicely done, I am not sure if i 'love' this story, but it defiantly achieves in making me scared of sea ponies...
Well, that was brilliantly terrifying.
I imagine the seaponies' laughter as being some of these:
If you listened to that video after reading this fic... sweet dreams.
(Random Fact of the Day: Mic the Microphone supplied one of the laughs for this video.)
So wait did Fluttershy become a Seapony or did they just take her for an adventure and dropped her off at the coastline?
While it was a decent story I will admit that it didn't scare me in the slightest, but that isn't the fault of the writer I'm just someone that really doesn't get scared by most kinds of horror. Normally I have one of five reactions; Interested, Bored, "WTF Did I just watch", Anger at the time I just wasted, and "Why didn't character do action X in that scenario?".