The Moaning Top Incident

by Visiden Visidane

The Skirmishers

Welcome to the Western Legion, new recruits. It pleases me to see so many earth ponies willing to take up weapons to protect our beloved land. You may have noticed that you have been separated from the other group of earth ponies that came to this fortress with you. That group has been selected for the crossbow units, while this one will have the privilege of joining the Western Legion's skirmishers.

You should be honored. If you're in this group, it means you are the swiftest of runners, with the muscle to wield the largest melee weapons in the Legion's arsenal. You have the right mindset and mental strength, though some would say the right type of insanity, to engage towering, armored, bear-monsters in ground-based melee.

You will join the ranks that produced the legendary Apple Slice, the Last Great Apple, the Great Bear Wrangler, and First among the Earth Pony Heroes. Perhaps, you may not reach the same heights he did, but, I promise you, through hard work and dedication, you will do him proud.

I will not sugarcoat your situation. The skirmishers have the highest death count in any engagement. During an extermination campaign, it is not surprising for the Western Legion to lose well over half its skirmishers. You may be reassuring yourselves right now that it has been decades since there was an extermination campaign, but that only means that we're due for one as a lot of ursan cubs have grown up during the preceding time, ready to run amok on our beloved Equestria. It will fall to us to drive them back again. Discard that flighty, save-yourself, line of thought. You are skirmishers now, and you must throw yourselves into the role if you wish to excel.

We skirmishers are the true backbone of any Western Legion strategy. True, the glory roles and highest kills will always go to our lancer flights, but without us, the ursans will simply plow through our encampments and slaughter our unicorn magi and crossbow ponies with impunity. Our lancers can kill ursans well, but cannot prevent them from going where they want. So hold your heads high when you speak to our brothers and sisters in the other units. Even they know how badly they need us.

As a skirmisher, you will embody very different but very important qualities. You must be aggressive, swift, and decisive, able to turn and strike the instant you see the enemy show a vulnerable moment. Ground warfare with the ursans leaves no room for hesitation. You are always running, either towards or from your enemy. If you slow down to think, make no mistake, you will be stepped on, or torn apart, or popped into an ursan mouth as if you were a bonbon.

Yet, you must also be patient. Patient enough to wait for that vulnerable moment to show itself. You must be patient with the results of your hard work. Our gashing blades are not designed to instantly kill an ursan. They are designed to lacerate flesh, and leave terrible, bleeding wounds. Our spears may have the length to penetrate deep, but without the massive momentum of a lancer dive-bombing strike, trying to stab deep will get you killed. You must strike and escape over and over, slowing them down with each strike, and trusting the sure death of bleeding out or infection to take them out if a lancer or bear-skewer doesn't take them down while they're slow and vulnerable. That takes patience.

So reflect upon these qualities that you will learn to manifest, recruits, while you report for group assignments and training. I wish you all the best of luck, and I hope to see many fine, proper legionnaires in the future.

Skirmisher High Captain Wicked Hack

---

Of the three legions that protected Equestria, it was the Western Legion that was the least suited to dealing with fellow ponies. Their brothers and sisters up north and down south fought against creatures that were relatively close to a pony's size, barring brachyurii and coatls. Their weapons and tactics were thus easier to adapt. The Southern Legion, in particular, was very good at dealing with ponies, given the Empire's use of indoctrinated slaves.

Coal Grey was wishing that he had some Southern Legion rangers with him at the moment as his unit approached Moon Basin. He was leading a team of skirmishers and unicorn magi to investigate the Moonlight Rondo's festival for ophidite infiltration. Well, escorting the Legion Inquisitor who was going to investigate, to be precise.

Already, his team was drawing frightened stares. His skirmishers were armed with spears nearly twice the length of a pony, with wickedly barbed heads designed to draw copious amounts of blood. By their sides were their gashing blades, long, curved weapons with saw edges. Closer inspection would reveal that each sword was actually two blades close and parallel to each other. A cut from these weapons would leave torn, parallel wounds that no surgeon in Equestria, or anywhere else, could hope to suture.

The trio of unicorn magi with them did not present an ominous sight, but their reputation preceded them. Western Legion unicorns were not known for magical finesse and elaborate techniques. Some unicorn magi, typically those from small villages, actually managed to do well in the Western Legion knowing nothing but telekinesis. They weren't the sort who could use telekinesis to string a needle from twenty feet away, however. What they had was power, the sort of power to telekinetically rip a pony's foreleg off and beat them to death with it. Since the evocation arrays used against the magic resistant ursans were greater than the sum of their parts, unicorns of the Western Legion concentrated on making really large sums. Even a foal could conclude that telekinetic blasts that could crush the skull of an ursan would do very terrible things to a pony.

And, of course, there was the fourth unicorn in the team: Director Chill Gaze, Inquisitor Chill Gaze in this capacity. Since investigating ponies was seldom the purview of the Legion, the position of inquisitor was not an exclusive role, often just a side role given to a legionnaire who had a keen eye when it came to matters involving ponies. Chill Gaze was far from the friendliest pony one could hope to meet anywhere, but he had a rather insidious way of finding out things about anypony. One had to wonder if his parents were prescient enough about him to give him his fitting name, or he had changed it along the way to mirror his nature. Regardless, he did have a chilling gaze; stern, ice blue eyes like stagnant, lifeless pools of frozen water. His dark gray coat, almost black, and white mane only made his presence even more bloodcurdling.

As the appointed Legion Inquisitor, this was technically Chill Gaze's investigation. Coal Grey, however, held command over the troops with them, even the unicorn magi, putting him in equal footing. That was all well and good. Already, Chill Gaze looked like he would rather have the assembly he directed just rain telekinetic death on Moon Basin for harboring Moonlight Rondo "degenerates".

It was an interesting dichotomy. The skirmishers were more feared because their weapons were ominous, while the unicorns less so because they presented themselves plainly. Yet, Coal knew the ponies in this group, even the legionnaire from Glacier Fall whose name kept escaping him. Skirmishers believed in taking things at an even pace, in relying on subtle, gradual ways to bring down the enemy, and the proper balance of fleeing and attacking. The Western Legion's unicorns believed in charging up all their magical might, pooling it together, then unleashing it in a single, incredibly violent blow. If the first strike wasn’t enough, charge up a second blast, add more power if necessary.

"Hey..." Plowshare whispered as he walked up next to Coal. "Think we'll meet your clam-mashing bride in there?"

Coal struck his friend's shoulder lightly; both a mild show of amusement and a lighthearted warning to keep things in perspective. "If all goes to plan, Plow, definitely not." He glanced behind him, where Chill Gaze and the other unicorns were walking together. Plowshare merely chuckled, and fell back.

Coal Grey was hoping to forget about the whole failed arranged marriage. He was already thinking up a script, and working on looking surprised when Fort Commander Forge Spark suddenly discovered that Cinder Spark had run off with a mare. He hadn't given up on the legionnaire reproductive duty, however. Maybe he could meet a mare in this sleepy little village. Hopefully one that preferred stallions.

Running into Cinder Spark would be a bad development. He was with Chill Gaze, who despised "clam-mashers" as just another form of degenerate. If they interacted, Chill Gaze might discover the whole thing, including Cinder's plans and Coal's...well, not collaboration, just permissiveness. One report to Forge Spark would destroy his budding career in the Western Legion.

It was apparent that Moon Basin was crawling with activity when they got closer. It was the day before the start of the festival after all. The ponies of the Rondo were loading up their wagons and preparing for the long trek up Mount Moaning Top.

In the past, all Rondo festivals lasted for a week. This was reduced to three days once their feasting took a noticeable toll on the ponies around them. After the Blades of Nightmare incident, they were only allowed a single day of revelry every six months. This festival on Mount Moaning Top would be different, though. Since they had chosen a remote location, and had pushed hard for the local authorities to approve. The Moonlight Rondo was allowed to hold their traditional seven day festival. Mount Moaning Top was the birth place of the Moonlight Rondo. The cold and dry air by its tall peak made for a beautiful moon and it was the first ponies that came here for the moon viewing that came upon the idea of creating the Moonlight Rondo. This was, thus, a return to the Rondo's roots.

Chill Gaze took this opportunity to walk up to Coal Grey's side. He would not see it that way. Coal would agree, to a point. The original Moonlight Rondo was a troupe of musicians. Their parties were lively, with a focus on rustic music and spontaneous dance to differentiate them from the solemn pageantry of the Night Parade. The food and drink naturally followed as the gatherings increased in size and length. The...other things that the Rondo has become known for could hardly be considered as part of original Rondo's vision. This was no return to the Rondo's roots, more like a corruption of their origins.

"Disgusting..." Chill Gaze said as he looked upon the ponies loading up a large wagon with barrels. The wine stains on their covers, and on the lips of their porters made it clear what they were for. They were heavy for now, but Coal surmised that they would be significantly lighter by the time they made it up that slope. Chill Gaze had on a face that Coal imagined himself to have should he open his lunchbox and find maggots crawling all over it.

"These are citizens of Equestria, Inquisitor," Coal said quietly and sternly.

"Should that give them immunity to my contempt?" Chill Gaze asked with a sidelong glance. "Criminals are citizens too; murderers, rapists, bandits...even turncoats that would sell our nation to the Empire."

"If we find such ponies among these citizens, then we will deal with them," Coal said. "Until such a time, we ought to treat them as the same citizens we swore to protect when we joined the Legion."

"How noble," Chill Gaze said. "I'm aware that your fiancee lives in Moon Basin, Skirmisher Captain, you're not just presenting a front to impress her, are you?"

For a moment, Coal's heart grew cold while he waited for Chill Gaze to add that Cinder's plans were already known. When no such admission came, he snorted. "None of your business, Inquisitor. Does the Fort Commander know that you're snooping about his daughter's business?"

"To call this snooping is like going to the pantry and calling it foraging," Chill Gaze replied. "Fort Commander Forge Spark picked you specifically for this investigation knowing that you will have some emotional ties with his daughter. It's reasonable to surmise that he expects you to protect her when the investigation gets under way." Chill Gaze went from a sidelong glance to a full on stare. "I will assure you, just as I did the Fort Commander. If I discover that she's involved with ophidites, Fort Commander's daughter or not, I will tie that noose around her neck myself."

"If she really is an ophidite collaborator, you wouldn't find a neck," Coal said. "I'll take her head myself." He patted his own gashing blade. How ironic it would be if the same weapon that saved Forge Spark's life would take his daughter's. It was easy to make that sound sincere. There was no way Cinder Spark would have anything to do with these supposed ophidites. She wanted to escape the Legion's shadow, not place herself in its sights. Some dark corner of his mind, however, lingered on the notion of such a thing being true regardless. Would he really execute her? A disturbingly large portion of himself felt fine with that proposition.

A small smile, more like a twitch of the lips as one would see on a corpse, crossed Chill Gaze's face. "Good to hear," he said. "I'll hold you to it."

Now, it was Coal's turn to be disgusted. The only approval more shameful would be Emperor Sesyth's.

"Skirmisher Captain," Plowshare said from behind them.

Chill Gaze snorted, and went back to consult with the other unicorns. Coal allowed himself a smile now that he was with better company again. "What is it, Plowshare?" he asked.

"I'm not liking the layout of this village," Plowshare said, his tone low to keep things between them. “It's one big street flanked by houses that leads to a small square surrounded by the largest buildings. We can easily be corralled to that spot and surrounded.”

"Expecting an ambush, Plow?" Coal replied. "Moon Basin isn't known for its rebels and bandits."

"The ophidites are, though," Plowshare said. "Let's plan for the worst case scenario that they're working with the Rondo and they've taken over the whole village. Me and a couple of others can sniff around the sidelines while you take this straightforward path."

Coal nodded. "Alright, take Shank Flank with you, and that legionnaire from Glacier Fall. Grab a unicorn too, preferably Chain Lace, she's got a few divinations in her."

"It's Brawl...something," Plowshare said. "Damn! He already told me twice!"

"You know who he is," Coal said. "Take care, Legionnaire."

Plowshare saluted, then trotted over to the other skirmishers. They were still in sight when Coal already found the move prudent. As he walked the main street, the sidelong glances from the Rondo ponies didn't look particularly welcoming. 'They're worried,' he thought. 'Makes sense. The Legion's cut down a lot of their partying. Our presence can easily be seen as the Legion cracking further down.'

The farther the group walked into the village, the louder the murmurs among the village folk and the Rondo ponies grew. It was almost like approaching a hive of hornets. The hairs around Coal's neck were starting to prickle, expecting a sting any time now...

An apple flew across the street, and straight towards the group.

Coal raised his foreleg instinctively. Defend one's head, particularly the eyes. Such a projectile wouldn't do anything anywhere else. He was already scanning the crowd for the culprit before the fruit even hit. A split second, and his mind registered that he wasn't the target at all. This one was flying towards the back of his group. A warning cry was half formed in his lips when the apple stopped.

A chorus of gasps quickly ensued, followed by even louder murmurs and hushed alarm. The apple remained suspended in mid air, an aura of light blue surrounding it. Coal knew that color of magic. Sure enough, Chill Gaze's horn was aglow, the light colors only emphasizing his dark expression. The apple crumpled under his magic, juices leaking out until it was a dripping ball of mash.

The culprit was evident enough; a white pegasus mare with a long, wavy, light pink mane. She half hovered in front of the crowd to Coal's right, probably because somepony was tugging at her tail to keep her grounded. She was holding another apple already.

"You're not welcome here, legion pig!" the pegasus snarled.

"Cloud Breeze!" the unicorn tugging at the pegasus yelled, or at least tried to with her mouth full of tail. Coal squinted. Damn, that was Cinder Spark! This other mare must be...he was already hurrying towards Chill Gaze.

"The Legion is not here to be welcomed," Chill Gaze said flatly. "Now that I have been assaulted, Legion protocol allows me to fight back."

The apple mash dropped to the ground as Chill Gaze intoned a more powerful spell. The already chilly air around him dropped to an ominous low. Coal had already reached him, however, and stood in front of him. "Stand down, Inquisitor," Coal said, his tone steely.

"We're under attack, Skirmisher Captain," Chill Gaze said. "Perhaps you should consider standing up instead."

"It was a piece of fruit," Coal replied. "A cone of cold is not the appropriate response." The second apple flew, but Coal simply swatted it away with a foreleg, his eyes still on Chill Gaze.

"Then a piece of fruit thrown back should be reasonable," Chill Gaze said. A nearby cart shook a bit with the driver letting out an alarmed cry. A single jackfruit rose from the pile of assorted fruits in the cart, aglow with Chill Gaze's magic.

"That's very cute, Inquisitor," Coal said. "You've shown how powerful you are. Now, let me deal with this mare."

Chill Gaze stared at Coal for a few seconds more. For a moment, he looked ready to throw the huge, spike-covered fruit at the mare, who was still hovering and trying to get another piece of fruit, when he did stand down. The jackfruit settled back in the cart, and the driver hurried away.

Cinder finally pulled the other mare, Cloud Breeze, down, then swiftly stepped in front of her.

"I beg for your forgiveness for this display, legionnaires," Cinder said, her head bowed low. "My friend..." she glared at Cloud Breeze briefly. "...is impulsive enough sober, and she has had a few drinks."

"Public drunkenness, in midday no less, disorderly conduct, assaulting a legionnaire," Chill Gaze said. "This mare should be hugging a whipping post right now. If your laws won't discipline her, citizen, the Legion will."

"I'll show you where you can put that whipping post, Legion pig," Cloud Breeze snapped.

Cinder looked worriedly to Coal. Oh, things were getting worse by the second, and he had barely gotten his hooves into this village.

"The Legion is not going to punish her," Coal told Cinder, his eyes briefly shifting to Chill Gaze.

"If we let this go, they will throw rocks next," Chill Gaze said. "Then, it will be arrows we will have to worry about."

"We are not starting this mission with a public flogging, Inquisitor," Coal growled. He looked around, prompting Chill Gaze to do the same. "These ponies are already afraid of what we might do after all their preparations. We will show them our magnanimity, and win their confidence for the sake of a smooth mission."

Chill Gaze kept his stare on Coal for a few more seconds, then walked away. "As you say, Skirmisher Captain," he said.

Cinder Spark let out a breath that she looked as if she had been holding for minutes. "Thank you, Skirmisher Captain," she said with a smile. "I hope you do find success in your mission." She turned towards Cloud Breeze, who only glared at Coal.

"Don't think I owe you any favors, pig," Cloud Breeze spat. She shook off Cinder's hoof, then flew off.

"Cloud!" Cinder called out. With one more apologetic look towards Coal, she ran off.

Coal kept his face grim as he turned towards his group. He had to with Chill Gaze watching him like a hawk. "Let's keep going," he said.

Comments

[Beware The Carpenter]

Closer inspection would reveal that each sword was actually two blades close and parallel to each other. A cut from these weapons would leave torn, parallel wounds that no surgeon in Equestria, or anywhere else, could hope to suture.

I wasn't under the opinion that ursas had skilled surgeons that sturtured wounds to begin with and one deeper cut will bleed more than two cuts of half the depth.