• Member Since 2nd Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 8th, 2018

Fattymagee1


Aspiring to live under a bridge, but the man keeps holding me down.

Comments ( 23 )

Oh my Celestia. One of the best things I've read this month.

Rust #3 · Aug 21st, 2012 · · 1 ·

...The fuck....bwa-hahahahahaha! :facehoof:

Brilliant as always. Love the bizarre ending and Pinkie's random, non-sequitur dark magic. :pinkiehappy: Nice work!

Oh, and being the insufferable grammar-Nazi that I am, I can give you a couple grammar comments and fixes if you want.

It sucks that you could only "like/dislike" a story once. Since I can't spam the "like" button, here's an internet cookie.:pinkiehappy:
i1077.photobucket.com/albums/w468/x_iHeartMLP_x/images2.jpg

Ha, that was funnier than I thought it would be. Have a mustache :moustache:.

NOOooooo!! You're one of those blasted Rebels of the New Lunar Republic aren't you!?! :twilightangry2: This is CLEARLY propaganda against our glorious leader Princess Celestia and her glorious Solar Empire! :twilightangry2:

...:derpytongue2::derpytongue2: But really it was an interesting story/idea :twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

1129890 I would love if you could. What did I screw up on this time (besides the intentionally grammar-poor ending)?

1136784
Here's the first thing I noticed:
"It was the Pinkie Pie who reunited she and Cranky in Ponyville,"
As far as I can tell, this is just a simple confounding of object and subject pronouns; it's a classic over-correction error coming from the broken grammar in phrases such as "*Me and my friend went to the store." The correct form would use the subject "I" as in "My friend and I went to the store." However, one must pay attention to the actual syntactic role of the pronoun, so as not to over-correct oneself. In this case, for instance, the pronoun "she" (referring to Matilda) is the object of the action "reunited" and so must be in the "objective" (or rather, accusative :twistnerd:) case.
The correction would be: "It was the Pinkie Pie who reunited her and Cranky in Ponyville,"

The other thing I saw was pretty minor:
"'Of course, your heinous. . .'"
I think you meant "highness". Otherwise, Celestia would probably react, well, differently. :rainbowlaugh:

And that's pretty much it. Beyond that, I would just say to pay attention to your vocatives. A vocative is a reference to the addressee by name in dialogue. Vocatives must always be placed in commas, as if they are exclamations.
It can mean the difference between (A) "Let's eat, Pinkie!" :pinkiehappy: and (B) "Let's eat Pinkie!" :pinkiegasp:

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!

(And I found the ending quite funny.) :twilightsmile:

1137076 Wow I suck at grammar. Thanks for always being there to help me out when I screw up :twilightsmile:.

I am, however, quite familiar with things like the "accusative" and "vocative" case. I took Latin (for four years in high school. Now I'm a freshman in college, so it's still pretty fresh in my mind.), and anyone who has ever taken Latin will know that these grammar cases...sigh...are absolutely pivotal to understand. Every noun, adjective, and pronoun in Latin ends in a specific case:

Nominitive: Indicates the subject of the sentence.
Genitive: Indicates possession.
Dative: Indicates an indirect object.
Accusative: Indicates the direct object, or the object of some prepositions.
Ablative: Kind of hard to explain because it has many uses, indicates an adverbial noun that modifies verbs (The means of how an action is done, or something like that). Also can indicate the object of certain prepositions.
Vocative: Basically nominative, but used when speaking.

There are some other less-common uses for each case that I left out, mostly because I just forgot them. :derpytongue2:

Each case has its own ending for singular and plural, and there are five different types of nouns/adjectives/pronouns ("declensions") in Latin. Each has its own different set of singular and plural endings. I had to memorize all of them, plus the many exceptions to the rules. That nearly drove me insane :pinkiecrazy:. Yeah, Latin was hard. It took me like an hour to translate a sentence, because I had to figure out what noun/adjective/pronoun was what case, thus determining its grammatical use in the sentence. It's almost incomprehensible to me how the Romans could talk like that. I guess they just had a different mindset than an English speaker's.

Random grammar lesson aside, thanks again for helping me out. Grammar is obviously important to anything well-written, so it's nice to have someone like a grammar-nazi looking over my shoulder :yay:.

1140009
Wow, that's fantastic that you've studied Latin. :moustache: (What high school offers that?! :rainbowderp:) So many English-speakers have no idea what grammatical case is, and have absolutely no concept of terms like "nominative," "accusative," or "declension". The language I'm currently designing, which is completely noun-based, will have something to the tune of fifty different cases, with systems of declensions so as to make their formation logical and systematic. It's been brutal.

And I love that ablative case. It seems like that's usually the hardest to grasp because of its weird, abstract uses in Latin--for instance its appearance where most languages would often use an instrumental--as well as the variance in meaning of the "ablative case" between languages. :facehoof:

Anyways, if you want any proofreading or revision done, I can look over stuff for you. And you're a lot better than most when it comes to grammar. Trust me. :twilightsmile:

I stumbled onto this while looking to see if anyone actually used the "Matilda" tag that's available. Definitely random.

I was kind of hoping to see the "pellet with the poison in the vessel with the pestle" meme somewhere in there...

Oh, and my high school offered Latin, too. 15 years later and all I remember is "In pictura est puella nomine Cornelia. Cornelia est puella Romana quae in Italia habitat."

2590415 :twilightblush:Same, interestingly enough there is only 12 stories that use it so far.:twilightoops:

~Leonzilla

4148624

Maybe now that she's appeared in a couple of S4 episodes, she'll get a little attention... Sapphire Shores, too.

4148674 She tends to appear in way more stories, people just don't tend to give her a big enough role to use her rag in the story.:twilightblush:

Also:trollestia:

2590415 Lol The roman family. I can't believe I just saw this comment. They were so weird.

Do you remember Sextus?

5372928

Sextus? Abi moleste!

I am the assassin, with tongue forged from eloquence
I am the assassin, providing your nemesis
On the sacrificial altar to success, my friend
Unleash a stranger from a kiss, my friend
No incantations of remorse, my friend
Unsheathe the blade within the voice, my friend
Who decorates the scarf with the fugi knot
Who camouflaged emotion in a thousand yard stare
Who gouged the notches from the family tree
Who hypnotised the guilt in career rhythm trance
Assassing, assassing, assassing, assassing
Listen as the syllables of slaughter cat with calm precision
Patterned frosty phrases rape your ears and sow the ice incision
Apocalyptic alphabet casting spell the creed of tempered diction
Adjectives of annihilation bury the point beyond redemption
Venomous verbs of ruthless candour plagiarise assassins fervour
A friend in need is a friend that bleeds
Let bitter silence infect the wound
You were a sentimental mercenary in a free fire zone
Parading a Hollywood conscience
You were a fashionable objector with a uniform fetish
Pavlovian slaver at the cash till ring of success
A non com observer - I assassin the collector - defector
So you resigned yourself to failure, my friend
And I emerged the chilling stranger, my friend
To eradicate the problem, my friend
Unsheathe the blade within the voice
I am the assassin
I am the assassin
And what do you call assassins who accuse assassins anyway, my friend?

7176855

And what do you call assassins who accuse assassins anyway, my friend?

An asinine assassin obviously, my friend. :raritywink:

7176952 I'm shocked you actually get that reference.

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