Infernallight
Joined 31st May, 2014 ·
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It's only the first chapter and already the suspense is killing me.
9261563
That’s the point ;) glad you enjoyed!
It's got that good drama
9261694
Thanks! I'm really testing the waters here to see what works well, so feedback is great to hear. Thanks for taking the time to read it!
https://youtu.be/SDea7laHD4E
9262017
I actually love that song lol
MOOOOOOOOOORRE
9262417
As you wish;)
9262451
JUST DO IT
DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS
9263406
It was never stated that he was dead, no.
In case you didn’t see my note on the other story is Luna dead or did she get banished again and how?
So much mysteries, so much suspense... could it be... that Cel's Beloved is still alive??
9270975
Nah.
9271090
Can we get an F in the chat?
9271701
F
9271701
i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/017/039/pressf.jpg
Wow, you've got something here.
In my 6+ years of scrolling around for good works I've found a good number of favorites and even a number that I hate because of lost potential.
I've seen a lack of a few things.
Good Daring Do
Good Human and Spitfire/ Fleet foot
Any amount more than one or two Human and Eris (R63 Discord)
Stuff with such potential as this. If done right I feel it could rival Exchange with all its potential. And that story is a mammoth amongst all favorites.
Please continue. I also don't comment often if at all.
9404623
I thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I really do appreciate feedback. Exchange is one of my absolute favourites, and I have to agree with you. I’ll try my best to live up to such high standards, and I’ll appreciate all the feedback I can get
A new chapter? What a welcome surprise!
9465070
I hope you enjoyed. It's hard for me to write most of the times. I'd like to be able to make longer chapters, its just really hard for me sometimes. Anyway, I really hope you liked it!
9465147
I did enjoy it, do you know when you'll have the next chapter out?
9465161
Already started it. So hopefully within the week.
9465167
I'm looking forward to it!
9465167
If you are a man, i will find you and give you a brohug.
If you are a woman, i will find you and kiss you.
9465202
I'll take the brohug please and thanks ;)
9465190
I'm very happy to hear it!
Not a cliff hanger! I need more!
9465848
Yeah same problem, should probably msg a mod to see what's wrong with it.
After reading as much as I have,I think I have an inkling on a few things I can expect in the future. I should probably avoid this,likely gonna make me feel feelings all over the place and past experience says none of em will feel nice.
...Be gentle?
9467387
Most definitely broken indeed.
9479083
...Dude, of course it’s broken if there is no ‘Next Chapter’ button.
When's the next chapter?
Moar pls?
Please, add more?
There are some errors like rage instead of race from this line:
"Changeling rage exterminated like the vermin they were"
Also, maybe use a few synonyms here and there to make sentences flow better:
"Thomas would always take the time to sit down and listen to her troubles, and ease any impending fears or troubles she had."
^ This passage doesn't feel like it flows as well to me. A little fixing these errors will really improve this story. There aren't that many problems though so don't worry.
Other than that, I would like to see more. Ever since Zamairic left, no one has really filled his niche for stories like this one. You're doing a good job, and I hope to see the next chapter soon!
I'm loving this story so far!
9648103
He's confused with everything going on around him. I'll try to elaborate more on this in the next chapter. Thanks for reading!
9647309
Thank you so much!
9647204
Thank you for all your attention to detail. I appreciate it. I'll be going over and editing this chapter tonight. I'm not the most experienced writer, but I try my best. Which is why feedback is very important to me.
As well, Zamariac was one of my main influences. It's a shame he left. I'm just happy he has some completed stories he left on the site.
9648141
Don't worry about experience. The most important thing is just to write. You will learn in time to catch writing errors, and improve the stories flow.
So i curious is Thomas going to become the new leader of the changelings because he has almost all of chryssy's magic and will it end up puting him in conflict with celly. Or will her blind love for him temper her need to exterminate all of the changeling race. If not celly will lose her mind and sanity if she ends up killing her "beloved"
9650637
You'll have to wait and see :)
9650675
Aww drat i was hoping for a hint or small spoiler. Oh well i'll wait
9650675
There is more, right? This story will be finished?
I am going to assume Thomas is not going to want to be Celestia beloved plus I'm sure he rather go back to earth that is the vibe I get from him. He dose not want to fall in love with any female pony.
I'm glad to see this story back on my feed again!
10175797
I'm glad some people are still hanging around to support it. It means the world to me.
10175794
You never know.