The Murder Mask
"Detective jakkid what the ass dick are you going?"
"I'm trying to find a book," I said at I was at Twilights bookshelf looking for a book. It was a night time and it was the spookiest night of the year, NIGHTMARE NIGHT! Or also Halloween like its called here. I couldent find the book I was looking for so I got really mad and take out my gun and shot the books a bunch with it and then went to a sit chair and sit down in it madly.
"What are you idioting about?" said Rainbow.
"Im mad cause I wanted to find a spooky halloween story to tell for tonight because tonight is halloween, like in that movie. Friday the 13th"
"Well why dont you tell us one of your spooky detective stories?" said Rarity who was in Twilights own house with us and also the 5 other ponies.
"Hmm" I Hmmed. "Thats a good idea. Okay everyone sit around the campfire" And we all sat around the campfire in Twilights living room. "Now, this story is a story about a story thats about me, Detective Jakkid166, the greatest detective in the world. It began on another halloween Night, here in Equestria."
(this the part where the story starts)
"Ahhhh, good morning house" I said to my house that I have in Ponyville cause thats where I live now. "Its time for me to wake up out of bed and begin another detective day." So I Jumped out of my the bed and landed in my bathtub and showered my clothes off and I brushed my teeth and my comb. "Ahh its a good day today" I said but I was brushing my teeth when I said it so I actually said "aahsbah adhjagbfdhwqbjdhagf". I went outta the bathroom and got dresse and got my detective clothes on and got my detective stuff, like my detective gun, my detective badge, my detective wallet, and my detective detective.
I opened the door of my house and went outside and closed it and locked it and closed it. Since it wa morning I decided to go to the Ponyville grocery store to get some candy to hand out today, cause it was halloween and it was October. So I got in me car and drove it to the grocery store and parked in the front of the store and went inside.
I was runnin through all the candy aisles trying to find the PREFECT candy to give it out for trick or trickers on halloween, but there was so much I didnet know what to give. "Wait a minute" I said "This candy is all MONEYSPENSIVE! I cant buy all this, Detective Jakkid166 doesnt get a good salary sometimes."
"Well too bad" said the pony "Thats how much it cost so buy it or get out."
"Dammit" I said and I leaved out oft he place. "Oh well. I guess I just wont give any candy this halloween." but then i got a better idea. "I know! I will go out TRICKERTREATENG!"
It was the flawless plan, cause not only could I trick or treat other poeple but I could also trick or treat myself and get free candy. But there was the one problem: I neede a costume. But they cost money so I got a idea.
I grabbede a costume off the wall (it was a michel mayers costume) and I said to at the pony "Im Detective Jakkid166 and I must confistate this costume because of evidence."
"Okay" said the pony.
So I took the comstume home and wore it and I look really scary like the guy from Halloween (the new one not the old one, though that ones good too. And also Halloween 2 is pretty good. The old one not the rob rombie one.)) I even wet into the kitchen and got a fake knife to make me look real covincing and I was prepared. It was night time now so I grabbe my candybag and went out to become trick or treating.
But when I looke in the mirror I saw something weird with my mask. I try to take the mask off but I couldnt because it was on my face. "Fuck why cant I take off the mask?" I said and I was confused. "Oh well im sure its fine" And I went outside prepared to trick or treet.
I went out into tha town and everything was spooky cause it was Halloween. There was lots of ponies was put their pumpkin lanters outside and they were all dressed up in stupid looking costumes I was the only one with a good costume. I went to Twilights house and knocke on her door and she opened it and I could see inside her house was all the 6 mane 6 ponies sitting around tha campfire and I was also there inside there telling this story to them.
"Trick or treat" said me.
"Wow good costume Detective. You almost made me think you was really Jason." And she gave me candy and it was good candy probably.
"Sweet" I said and I went to another place next. I was gonna go to pinkie Pie's house but then someone stopped me. I looked at who it wasn't and it was Princess LUNA!
"Hi Detective Jakkid166 thats a good costume" said Luna.
"Thanks." said me
I went to Pinkie Pies house and knocked on her door and I tricked or treated there and she gave me candy and I ate it and I was happy about it. "Damn im getting so much candy" I said and I looked in my sack and there was nuts and candy. Finally I went to Rainbow Dashs house and I knocked on her door and she gave me candy too.
"Sweet costume Jakkid" said Rainbow
"Thanks" I said and then I pulle dout my knife and I STABBED HER A BUNCH!
"Hahaha pranked you" I said but then I looked at my knife and it had actual blood on it. "Wait what the fuck" And then I looked at Rainbow and she was dead.
"Oh fuck" I said "The knife is real?" But then the mask got even tightere on my face and I got a desire... to KILL MORE
"Shit the mask is TAKING CONTROL OF ME!" I said and the mask was taking control of me. I ran away from Rainbows house into Ponyville and I was shouting at all the ponies to help me cause I couldent get the mask off and I was stabbing every pony.
"GODDAMMIT WHY ISENT YOU HELPING ME" I said while I was stabbing a pony. But then I ran to Twilights house and I opened the door and I tried to stab her and she wa all like "Detective jakkid whata re you doing?!" and she punched me with her magic fist and I flied into a wall.
"Twilight you gotta help the mASK IS MAKING ME KILL PEOPLE" I said and I threw my knife at her but I missed and hit myself instead and the knife was in my leg.
"Ouch" I said. Twilight went to look for a book to cure me fromt he mask but then I pulled my knife out and went to Twilight and stabbed her too.
"NO TWILIGHT DONT DIE" I shouted while stabbing her.
"But youre stabbing me I have to die" She said and she died.
"Dammit" I said and I went out of the house to find more victimms. "WONT SOMEONE PUT A END TO MY RAM PAGE?"
Just then the last 4 of the elements ponies (Pinkie and Rarity and Applejack and Fluttershy) all came to me and started beating me up cause of all the ponies I Killed.
'Fuckin idiot jakkid you cant just murder people cause its halloween" said Applejack.
"ITS NOT MY FAULT THE MASK IS MAKING ME DO IT!" I screamed and I swonged my knife around and almost hitstabbed them with it but they didnt get hit cause I missed. "You gotta take tha mask off me!" I said a lot and then the ponies tried to take the mask off but they couldnt. So I stabbed the mask with my knife but it didnt work and I just stabbed my face instead. "OW GODDAMIT"
But then finaly Princess Celestia was there and she said "Detective Jakkid you are under arrest for murdering the ponies."
"Okay FINE just GET THE MASK OFF or else its gonna make me kill more ponies!"
And then Princess Luna was there and said "Im sorry Jakkid but we cannot take the mask off. The only way for us to stop you is if you are die."
"WHAT" I said "No I dont wanna do that." And then I ran away really fast.
"AFTER HIM" shoutedlestia and the ponies chased me.
"Godammit I dont wanna die" I said and then I wan into a house and it was vacancy so there was no one in there. I went into the kitche and try to find a safe place to hide, like an oven. "I gotta get dis mask off before they find and kill me" I said and I went into tha bathroom to see if I can find a razor to shave the mask off. But then I heared the FRONT DOOR bursted down!
"Detective jakkid 166 we know youre in here!" said Celestia and now the ponies was an angry mob with toches and pisforks and stuff.
"Shit" I said and I jumpe out the window and ran out of the house into th everfree forest. I was runnin through the trees and shit trying to not die from being alive but then I found another house. "Oh fuck Zecoras house. Maybe she can help me" I said and I ran in there.
"Hello detective jakkid166" said Zecora. "Why are you in my house holding ice picks?"
"Because the mask is making me MURDER PEOPLE!" I said and I swunged my ice picks at Zecora "You gotta cure me before I kill you too"
"Okay" said Zecora and she went to look in her books for a cure but she did it really tactically so whenever I swung my weapons at her I missed.
"Okay jakkid here is the cure. I will mix it in the pot and it will make you pure."
"Sweet" I said and I waited pateiently while she do that but I was still trying to murder her so she got annoyed at having to dodge me attacks.
"Dammit jakkid stop acting like duck" said she "Okay now get in the pot you stupid fuck."
So I stepped in tha pot and suddenly the mask melted off my face and went away and was destroyed and desintegrated forever.
"YESSS" I said "Dats a relief. No more murdering for me. Which reminds me I gotta go investigates the crimes I did so I can solve the case."
But THEN all of a suden Celestia and everyone appeard and Celestia made a magic spear and stabbed me with it and I got impaled on the wall.
"noooooo" I said "But I already got CURED YOU IDIOT!"
"Oh shit sorry." said Celestia.
Then I died and all the ponies cried because they was had to kill me, the Detective Jakkid 166, in order to stop the evil of the murder mask. Celestia picke up the mask and burned it so it would never harm another soul again.
"And thats the end of the story" I said.
"That was stupid" said Rainbow "I bet it dident even really happen."
"No its a true story" I said. "I promise."
"But what if there is actually a murder mask?" said Applejack "We gotta destroy it if it is."
"Don't worry Applejack, murder masks arent real," I said. But then the camera looked at a mask that wa hanging on the wall and really spooky music played.
"Or is they?"
THE END
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I put in a Nintendo cartridge and then Detective Jakkid166 and Peter Griffin bled at me.
Glorious.
Simply. Glorious.
I want to be a storyperson like you if I grow up.
Sometimes I try to write my Eye of Argon story,
but then I see another one of these.... and I can't.... I can't fake this.
This is gold.
The Jakkid continuity is officially better than the Halloween movies due to not having retcons.
How did he get to Rainbow's house? It's on a cloud. He would have needed his car for that!
I appreciate that you spontaneously transformed the knife into ice picks to keep Zecora in character. Very well done.
you take writing shitty stories, and make it into writing THESE
SIMPLY. BEAUTIFUL.
Damn I got spooked real bad
This was the greatest Displaced story I’ve ever read.
I don't know what to say.
you know it's gotta be good when the first sentence of the story has "ass dick" in it
Gotta make sure to delete my history after readin this saucy fetish.
I personally like the Rob Zombie one. Haven't seen the new one yet.
Doesn't he still have his spear proof vest?
9264848
tha rob zombie ones are badawful. new one is good though i likee it alot specially the part where there was halloween on it.
9264866
i wasent wearing it on that day, and besides its only a normal spear proof vest not a magic spear proof vest. so it doesnt protect against magic spears, only real ones
You know you're hardcore when your shower's strong enough to disrobe you
This is the quality writing I come here for. A+, hunnerd outta hunnerd, best fic.
9288744
As an expert on poemtry I must professional opinion that "woodchuck" would have been the superior rhyme.
This is one more step on the path to enlightenment.
Nice jobs with the rhymes