• Member Since 23rd Jan, 2012
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Comments ( 33 )

Well, thanks for deciding to publish this.

Despite your self criticism this certainly is a good story. The beginning might have felt a bit rushed. But all in all it enden up being a sweet romance as well.

“First off, no anal.” She said.

Shining needs to get outta there ASAP.

Thanks. Your encouragement means a lot! I have a lot of unpublished stories because I just don't think they're good enough. It helps to hear that people like my stories - even the ones that I don't consider to be my best work.

the last fuck she forgot the spell

Why would I know you would already be here? :ajbemused:

Ooh. I was wondering when someone would notice this. Sequel anyone?

Not just last one. The last two.

Crap. Well that wasn't intentional. Oh well. Doesn't change things if I choose to write a sequel.


the last fuck she forgot the spell


Ooh. I was wondering when someone would notice this. Sequel anyone?

I hope you guys enjoy it, despite it not being my best work.

> at the top of the feature box
(Yeah, I think you can get rid of that author's note now.) :unsuresweetie:

Wow, this was actually really good. When you said it wasn't your best work, I set my expectations low, but this was far better than I thought it'd be.

In my personal opinion, this isn't one of my best works. But apparently a lot of people disagree with me. LOL. I'm glad so many people are liking it. Maybe I should go ahead and publish my other stories that I felt didn't meet my quality standards. I have a few dozen MLP stories that I never published because I didn't think they were good enough. I write quite a bit but I only publish what I consider to be my best works. Maybe I'll publish them anyway and see how it goes. What's the worst that could happen?

I guess I'm a little too hard on myself. I compare my work to that of REAL published authors and I never seem to be able to measure up. Then again, I've never taken any formal writing classes so I guess it's not a fair comparison. Maybe one of these days I'll take some formal writing classes. But I run three businesses so my time is limited. I read/write clopfics at night before I go to bed and whenever I have time when I'm on the road. College courses aren't so flexible unfortunately. I've never been to college but maybe one day I'll find the time.

Thanks for sharing this story with us. I understand how you feel this isn't among your best works. But this reminds me a lot of a good homemade apple pie: it's not as pretty as a professional baker's pie but it feels down to earth, making the adorkable qualities of Shining and Twilight feel genuine. In that sense it really brings a smile to my face as I savour this story. Thumbs up!

she do not need that spell he need to get her pregnant

Well, in my opinion, the only thing separating professional authors with degrees in writing from fanfic authors is that the professionals get paid to do what they do. Honestly, I've seen dozens of amazing fics up here on Fimfiction and over on Fanfiction that read like they were written by professional authors. While I agree, this story doesn't feel like it was written by a professional, that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Most professional authors have to be careful what they write and moderate their own creativity when writing a book because they're not only writing for a bigger audience with differing ideologies but they're also trying to get paid, which limits of how much of themselves they can express in their stories.

Fanfic authors don't have that problem. Every word authors like you type is done purely because you want to without anything holding you back or limiting you. Because of that, readers, like myself, can more often feel the author's personality and thoughts in a story than we otherwise would in a professional book.

To me, that's a plus. =)

Well this was an interesting read, always love Sparkle incest, keep it up

and then a few weeks later twily tells shining armour shes pregnant because she didnt cast the spell in that last scene

I stand by that making porn hot is a different challenge altogether from making it hold up within the medium you present it, and in fact they can most often get in the way of each other. This is good in the way that counts

Well done, DarkRyu. It's okay to not be satisfied that it isn't up to your expectations, but be proud of how good it is. Others like it, obviously from the lack of negative feedback and thumbs up. If we didn't have higher expectation, we wouldn't get better and better as writers and keep trying for that better story down the line. I like what Shakespearicles quoted in how the great masters did the same thing. Think about it - that puts you and all of us who feel the same way in good company. Keep on publishing, my friend!

9255478 He has always been here. Since the dark before creation. He has sat here, alone in the dark, waiting...

...and reading.

"Truly, truly, I say to you,
before Knighty,
before Sethisto was,
I am."

9257767 The Royalbardofcanterlot ain't got shit on The Bard.

Thanks for your kind words, guys. I do tend to be too critical of myself. I will continue to push myself to get better and better, but I think I'll start publishing the things that I don't necessarily think are good enough. Judging from public opinion about this story, most people aren't as critical of my work as I am.


most people aren't as critical of my work as I am

The good writers are always more critical of their work than their audience...that's why their such good writers...always pushing themselves to do better. Just always remember to give yourself credit and praise for the progress you've made. And very glad to hear you are going to post more!

Well, she had a lot on her mind and cast various spells. Easy to miss one without a list. Maybe that's partly why she's got a fetish for lists. :pinkiehappy:

AWSOME WORK! It would be so cool if you could write sequals with more focus on drama. Parents or Cadence finding out... (and getting involved maybe) or confessing love to Celestia, leaving the house together so they could start their own family and have foals...?! Your work is amazing!

So, first off, women definitely have sexual urges, just like men. Especially if you factor in heat, which means they generally want it MORE.

Second, "flank" is not the same as genitals. The flanks are their sides. The part people USUALLY call the flank (where the cutie mark is) is actually the haunches. But it's DEFINITELY not the vulva, which is what you were almost certainly referring to.

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