Chapter 2
Rainbow finally awoke from her exhausted slumber, finding herself slumped uncomfortably against the barricade she had created. A painful and irritating headache pounded against her temples, which she massaged using her hooves. Looking around, she finally took in her surroundings.
She was in what seemed to be a massive atrium of sorts, which reminded her of the main room in the Castle of Friendship. There were large silk banners hanging from the ceiling, all of which had an abstract design on them. A marble desk was situated between two sets of stairs, both going upwards. The whole room gave off an aura of pristinity and cleanliness.
Rainbow got up carefully, not wanting to bother her already-broken wing, and was immediately hit with a rushing sensation as her headache worsened. She leaned against the barricade, waiting for it to pass.
Suddenly, the lights simultaneously blinked out, leaving her in complete darkness. She jumped in surprise, backing up into the barricade. Pressing up against it, she listened carefully.
In the distance, she heard hoofsteps. They were soft and delicate, almost as if whoever was making them was trying to be stealthy. Rainbow huddled against the floor, hoping not to be seen by whatever atrocity was coming for her.
As the hoofsteps came closer, Rainbow began hearing a voice whispering to itself. She couldn't understand what it was saying, nor if the voice was friendly or hostile, but it was unnerving nonetheless.
Suddenly, the sounds began to move towards the stairs. Rainbow, looking upwards at the ceiling, silently prayed for her safety. If the thing noticed her, it would be the end.
It continued walking down, then came to a stop in front of Rainbow, who was trembling in fear. It stood there silently for quite a while, seeming to be listening for something.
Just when Rainbow thought it never would, the thing moved on. Rainbow waited until she heard it leave the area to let out a relieved breath. As she did so, the lights came back on.
Looking around to make sure no other unwelcome surprises lay in wait, she cautiously got up. She walked quietly to the base of the stairs, before climbing them and sticking her head over the top.
If that thing was still in the building, and if it was attracted to noise like she thought, she couldn't risk making any noise to dismantle the barricade. Thus, her only option was to find an exit out of the building as quietly as possible.
She gazed around carefully, before climbing the last step.
The room she was now in appeared to be an art gallery of sorts, similar to the one in Canterlot. It was filled with paintings, statues, and creations of all sorts. The walls were painted white, a single dark blue stripe along their middles. The marble floor had blue lines separating the different exhibits, of which several had barriers of red fabric to protect them. Along with that were two other rooms which had more artwork in them.
Rainbow noticed the exit on the far wall, and decided to try it. To her surprise, it worked. The door opened without a sound, and Rainbow decided she would have to find someplace else to escape the beings on the streets.
Suddenly, she heard a rustling sound. Her eyes widened as she realized where it was coming from. She turned quickly and saw the being that had been whispering to itself a few metres away from her tail.
She stared at it in terror, her pupils contracting. It stared back ominously. Rainbow trembled as it did so.
Its' neck cracked as it somehow managed to turn its' head upside-down. Rainbow could feel a primal scream building in her throat. Frozen in fear, she watched as it spun its' head around.
The head glared at her before the monster let out a deafening roar and sprinted at her.
Stats
Page generated in 0.015 seconds
Total duration
965 users online
152,978 hits today, 2,314,256 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Wow, just wow. This is honestly one of the scariest things I have read, and I'm not scared easily. I hope everything turns out good in the end. I can't wait until the next chapter! Also, what are the creatures around there and what did you base the story on?
9256362
Thanks for commenting!
I based the story off of a dream I had.
The creatures are basically famous slashers like Jason, Scream, and Freddy Krueger, but in my dream, they were quite literally demons chasing me with machetes, mostly, and one witch, whom was featured in this chapter.
9256404
That must have been an intense dream! That's pretty cool that they are based off famous slashers, I never would have thought of that! Good work. 👌👍
She was in what seemed to be a massive atrium of sorts, which reminded her of the main room in the Castle of Friendship. There were banners of some sort, hung from the ceiling, all of which had an abstract design on them.
'Of sorts' is used twice, so I personally would recommend a slight change.
Rainbow got up carefully, not wanting to bother her already-broken wing, and was immediately hit with a rushing sensation. She leaned against the barricade, waiting for it to pass.
Why did she get the sensation?
Looking around to make sure no other unwelcome surprises lay in wait, she cautiously got up. She walked quietly to the base of the stairs, before climbing them and sticking her head over the top.
Explain here that her motivation was to find an exit without making a loud noise (The result of possibly dismantling the barrier), instead of describing her escape attempt a few paragraph later.
Also, why didn't RD try to escape the night before, instead of falling asleep?
She turned slowly and saw the being that had been whispering to itself a few metres away from her tail.
I find the fact that she turned slowly very cliche. Most would whip around immediately with parinoya. Something to keep in mind.
9282617
Flugel, read the first paragraph again. The rushing sensation is a result of her headache, and I specifically stated that she woke from her exhausted sleep. Remember, she's been running for a long time from the thing chasing her outside.
Why would she take the risk of getting ambushed by the thing outside and dismantle the barricade? She was getting chased, and it might've stayed at the entrance, trying to get in. Unlike most cliche horror characters, Rainbow has common sense, and won't put herself in danger.
As for your other points, thanks for bringing them up. I'll edit them.