Greta's Baking Company part 1 (EDIT: 1/2/19)
While Twilight and Count Le Grand took the business of going to Greta's Baking Company to inform Greta of their authority to evaluate her restaurant. Gordon and the rest of the girls remained behind in an attempt to help Gilda get out of her emotional rut. Gordon tried helping by making her an excellent meal with stuff she had lying around the house, and thankfully it seemed to be working.
Going to her pantry, he found a few ingredients that he could use to make a great omelet. Then he went to her tiny stove and turned it on with Rarity's help. Pulling out a pan from one of the cupboards, he placed it on the stove and poured a small amount of oil into it.
"Just watch, this is awesome," Rainbow said excitedly to Gilda.
"First, we pour the oil in and get it piping hot." he started. "Then we go to a cutting board and cut up some of these mushrooms, tomatoes, and onions."
Pulling a knife out of her drawer and began to cut up the veggies and slip them into the pan, hearing it sizzle as they started to cook.
"Add a pinch of salt," he added as he sprinkled salt into the pan.
He started to shake the pan around which mixed the flavors around.
Pulling out another unknown spice, he opened it up and gave it a deep whiff, nodding approvingly when he liked what he was smelling.
"Sort of reminds me of a Moroccan spice I have used back home. I'll add a small pinch of that as well. But afterward, you want to drain the mushrooms, or else they will get the eggs all watery and you don't want that."
He then pulled out a carton of eggs he had found in her refrigerator and generously cracked five of them into a bowl. Pulling out a fork, he started to slowly beat the eggs into a viscous yellow goo.
"Lightly season those eggs, and then slowly pouring them in, mixing and mixing as you go. You want to get a nice distribution of mushrooms all across the plate."
He slowly stirred everything around with the fork, letting the heat of the pan do the work.
"Then we sprinkle a thin layer of cheese all on to that, and start the process of folding it in half," he continued as he lifted the pan on one side.
Grabbing a spatula and a plate, he delicately lifted the omelet from the pan and let gravity fold it in half as he slid everything onto a plate where he finished off his creation with a decorative piece of basil he found in the cupboard. He presented the dish to the griffon who gladly accepted the food and began wolfing it down as if she had just gone through a breakup.
"Holy shit, what do you call this?" Gilda asked pleasingly as she pitifully shoveled the food down her beak.
"A mushroom omelet with onions, chopped tomatoes, and a couple of habaneros I found in that tiny garden of yours," Gordon explained happily.
"You have a garden?" Fluttershy cooed.
"I don't usually say this to people, but buck, that's heavenly," Gilda complimented with her mouth full. "I'd weh yo bwoak meh heh rot naw on da floo ih I wadnt sa depressed."
"What was that my darling?"
"NOTHING, NOTHING, IMPORTANT!" Rainbow shouted abruptly as she rushed over with a heated face and started moving Gilda's beak for her, helping her chew."C'mon Gil, don't ya know it ain't polite to talk with your mouth full?"
"Like your one to talk darling. You and Applejack are the messiest eaters I know," Rarity added with a raised eyebrow.
"Can't argue with that!" Applejack chuckled.
"Oh, ya know me. Helpful Rainbow Dash, always trying to help out," she said sheepishly while Gilds has a look of utter confusion on her face.
After Gilda finished her comfort food, she calmed down enough to properly sit down and talk to them.
Rainbow and Pinkie remained silent as they heard Gilda's stories about all of the things that had happened during the months after they left from their first visit to Griffonstone. Gilda's newfound kindness had inspired the descendants of the old Griffon Empire's nobility under Guto to regain power in the form of a fledgling Griffon Republic. She explained how wealth started being distributed around instead of just being hoarded by individuals, which was a challenge to conquer in itself. Then she went into all of the things that she had to do to put together the restaurant. Some of which were heartbreaking for the rest of the girls to hear.
"I put all of my bucking life savings into building that bakery," Gilda sobbed. "Thanks to her and that bucking boyfriend of hers, I'm pretty much broke now. Except for a few bare-bones sacks of bits I get from Grandpa Gruff. I only get just enough for basic food, drink, and a few grooming things now and then."
"This whole thing sounds incredibly illegal and criminal. Aren't the nobles or your police doing anything about it?" Gordon asked concerned.
"Until you guys came around, the new nobility has been more interested in setting up their new government than helping little griffons like me."
For the next two hours, all of their discussions and thoughts with Gilda continued to devolve into unpleasant territory until the group heard an awful grumbling. They looked around and found that the grumbling had come from the tiny adolescent dragon.
"Sorry, I think I might have eaten something on the train that might be disagreeing with--"
BLEAUGH!!
He let out a huge belch of green flames and smoke which conjured a scroll bearing her seal.
"Excuse me". he said sheepishly.
Rarity walked over to the scroll and gingerly picked it up in her magical grasp as she unfurled it and began to read it for all to hear.
Gordon.
Bring Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack to the Bakery with you. Tell Spike, Rainbow, and Pinkie though to stay behind and look after Gilda. It looks like she could really use the company.
With a bit of magical threatening and the presence of two members of royalty, one of them being myself, I've finally convinced this Greta to open the bakery's kitchens and storage to you. Your production team is already in the process of setting up your equipment. Her Neigyptian boyfriend Garai is being kinda difficult. I was hoping that you can help me mellow him out, Gordon.
With love,
Twilight
"Alrighty then, let's get a move on shall we?" Gordon declared as he began walking out of Gilda's apartment.
"Wait a minute. Gordon was it?" Gilda asked as she stopped him.
"Do you really think you can help me or bring down the bakery? Greta and that retard Garai are a lost cause, but they still kicked my ass."
"Oh don't you worry Ms. Gruff," Gordon reassured the morose hen. "You'll find that I'm a really tough bird too."
"If they try to give ya grief, you could always use me to break some bones sugar cube." Applejack offered.
"Isn't that a little excessive Applejack?" Fluttershy asked timidly.
"Maybe," the farmer shrugged. "I don't know though. I just got a strange feeling that a bit of hoof throwin and buckin might be needed."
Meanwhile, at the restaurant, Twilight and Count Le Grand were having problems trying to get through a sea of customers and brawls trying to help Gordon's production team set up their equipment. Gordon's producer pulled Greta aside for their customary interview with the "owner" before operations with the Nightmare went underway. Afterward, the producers decide to record a few hours of the restaurant's typical activities before Gordon and the others arrive.
"So how does this work exactly?" Greta asked. "Why do I have to do this Princess?"
"Just listen to them," Twilight scolded.
"Just look into this little black box here, and tell us a bit about yourself. It's for the show."
"Alright, whatever. I guess I'll start by saying a "former" friend of mine helped me discover that I had a real good talent for anything having to do with food." Greta explained "So about a year or two ago, Garai, ahem acquired and invested one million bits from my "former" friend to help build this restaurant But I'm in the food business and it's not all sunshine, teacakes, and kittens like those wimpy ponies down South would lead you to believe. Not long ago though, when griffons found out they can make money off of saying they don't like something, critics and reviewers have been popping up saying they ate the food and they think it belongs at the bottom of a hole. Yeah, we lost some business thanks to those assholes."
"There's a lot of problems with the food here, a blonde furred griffon waitress explained to her interviewers. "Too overdone, too undercooked, too much of one spice. But if anyone has criticism for them, Garai just tells them something along the lines of you have no idea what food tastes like."
<----->
"So you don't even fucking know what is even wrong with it? Garai asks one of his patrons angrily. "Why the fuck are bothering me then huh?"
"If anyone dares to tell me that Greta's food is no good, I just have my bouncers force them out and tell them to never come back," Garai says menacingly as he motions to his mercenary guards by the front door.
<----->
"Not only are they so mean to the customers, but they also retaliate by nearly poisoning their food." the waitress exclaims. "It really makes me miss how nice Ms. Gilda was to everyone. She was so nice to me and everyone that worked here. I hope she's okay."
"Did you have some kind of relationship with Gilda?" the interviewer asked.
Her face turned beet red as she rapidly shook her head.
"No, no, nothing like that. I like to think anyway that we're friends. I was terribly timid when I was still in school. I was picked on a lot for avoiding fights and being vegetarian. Which, as you can imagine is rare here in Griffonstone. Miss Gilda stuck up for me a lot and when I got out of school, she gave me a job at her restaurant."
<----->
Looking around to see that nobody can see her, Greta sneaks a powerful pepper spice into a patron's meal.
"Maybe a bit of toxic mountain pepper spice will tune that fucker up. I really hope it hurts him," she growls.
<---->
"In my place, the customer is not always right. I'm here to make money, not take shit from anyone."
"If this "human" has any honor or credibility as the Count and the pony princess say, then he should be here to tell the people what good food is."
<----->
The waitress Goldie Pheasant is the only server on staff, but she isn't allowed to handle bits, pour drinks, or write order tickets for the kitchen.
"Garai doesn't let any of us do anything," Goldie says annoyed. "I think it hurts his male hood if any of us chicks do stuff for him, even ya know, it's our jobs too. He just messes everything up when he tries to do our jobs for us!"
To add to problems, Greta constantly pulls the reins from her head chef Gulag and cooks only one order at a time. Even when they have over thirty orders to be done. This ends up creating excessive wait times for the customers.
<--->
"I have never had to wait this long for one crummy little meat pie!" one patron complains. "I'd rather go all the way to Manehattan for a slice there. They would at least have it done and out to me!"
<--->
Even after all of the waiting, the one table that finally gets their food is not satisfied in the least. However, Garai just argues with them when they try to bring up their issues with the food. Eventually, he takes their food back to the kitchen, much to Greta's anger.
"They didn't like the meat pie."
"Are you fucking kidding me? I spritzed it up as they asked." Greta exclaimed.
"Don't worry yourself love cake, I told them to fuck off."
"Maybe they don't understand that it isn't packaged as these ponies do to a lot of their food."
When more and more patrons find their food undercooked, Goldie tries to bring it to Garai's attention. Unfortunately, it only angers them, even more, when their food is not blindly enjoyed.
"Greta my sweet, table G4 says their food is undercooked. Put it back in the oven."
"Sure, I'll burn it for them," Greta retorted. "This food is going straight to the trash. People here could be eating it, but someone decided that they are going to come fuck with us."
Twilight and Count Le Grand watched with mouths agape as the situation quickly devolved. The patrons tried to come to the front counter to figure out why their food hasn't been prepared or come out. However, even the simple act of asking the question causes Garai and Greta to finally explode.
"We were just waiting on one meat pie," one of the griffon patrons said to Garai in an irritated manner. "Can you tell us if it's even being made?"
"I know, I know, It's coming out!" he snapped back. "Now shut up and stop bothering me!"
"You've been saying that for two hours, it's just one ruddy meat pie!"
"Send him home if he's gonna be making a fuss!" Greta yelled from the kitchen door. "We already have enough idiots to feed without him getting thrown into the mix!"
"Alrighty then, if you want to wait, you can wait, but if not FUCK OFF!" Garai shouted at the customer.
"But--"
"NO, FUCK OFF AND GET OUT!"
"Are you two serious?" he asked them incredulously.
"OUT YOU MUTHAHFUCKER OUT! TAKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND YOUR BOYFRIENDS AND GET THE FUCK OUT NOW!"
"Get him to pay first. Boys! Shakedown this little shit until he gives us our money and then throw him out!" Greta commanded the mercs at the front door.
"I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN ANYTHING TO PAY FOR! the customer desperately tried to say to defend himself.
The armed guards started to come towards the counter where a crowd was starting to form. This caused Twilight to decide to finally leap into action with her new friend.
"I think it's time to break up the rabble-rousers here, don't you, your grace?" Twilight asked.
The middle-aged Griffon cracked his knuckles and chuckled.
"Absolutely your ladyship," he replied with zeal.
When the guards tried to pounce on the customer, Twilight held them still with her magic and shoved them into a nearby closet. This just made Greta and Garai even angrier though as they prepared to maul her.
"YOU LITTLE BITCH! IM GONNA--" Greta started as she raised her claws toward Twilight.
"What, if I may ask are you going to do?" the Count asked coldly as he pulled out his rapier and held it against Greta's throat. "Because unless you want to be hauled off and mauled yourself in the Leopard Pits, I suggest that you lower your tone against her majesty."
Everyone in the bakery was on a knife's edge as, after a minute of tension, Greta finally relaxed, but then stormed off into the kitchen to cool off. Twilight told the small group of unsatisfied customers at the counter to disperse as she reimbursed them with small bags of bits. Garai went off somewhere, muttering about having to clean up a giant mess.
"Thank you, Count Le Grand," Twilight sighed. "I was afraid that things were going to turn ugly for a sec there."
"My personal pleasure my lady," he replied respectfully as he sheathed his rapier. "My family owes a great debt to you and your friends. That and my personal honor demands me to protect one of the Griffon Republic's staunchest allies."
"I just hope this isn't this crazy for Gordon or we are really going to be in a lot of trouble," she lamented.
Next Time: Greta's Baking Company part 2
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Now THIS is gonna be good. Please tell me you're at least going to mention the ABC example of how not to run a restaurant?
…………………………………
is there a bomb shelter nearby?? i'd like to get in it before the explosions.
This wasn’t intentional, was it?
Gordon is NOT Gonna be happy to experience Amy's Baking Company 2.0
ALSO! I noticed a Rock-A-Doodle Reference.
I think Gordon isnt going to bother with Defcon 1 with this guy, hes just going to rip the sign down and go Caribou on him?
9899954
Now, if it was, it would have been G3.5
Goldie Pheasant. Nice that people remember that movie (fondly). Also......Gonna go get in the bomb shelter before shit gets bad.
i havent read a single word of this aside from the description, and i already love it
Here come the fireworks.
There will be no redemption this time.
Those two are going straight to jail by the time Gordon Ramsay is done.
... this going to end with pain.... lots of gloriously justified pain.
Count Le Grand: Greta and Garai, unless you both wish to be banished for life from the Griffon Republic, you will sign over this bakery to Gilda AND leave Griffonstone. If I see either of you here again, I shall toss you both into the Pit myself.
Also, I’d put the quote marks around “friend” not “former”
& it should be “....demands that I protect one...”
Here’s hoping that you get another charger soon!
Let Grand pretty much saved the bouncers from being beaten to a pull. Twilight would have obliterated them!
I'm amazed that didn't start a riot.
Isn't it supposed to be 'Talk with your mouth full?
Ooh, pretty sure 'Hoing' is not what you meant.
9900317
Nicely said, Fetch. We all can hope, right?
Knowing Gordon, Greta and Garai probably would not have ANY feathers left on them, and Garai will have at least a broken beak.
I get the feeling gordon gona fm up
Seriously, threatening a diplomat and outright robbery should be enough to arrest those two.
Kind of wondering if threatening to attack a foreign dignitary, in front of witnesses, cameras, and one of your own heads of state; is something that should get some griffon thrown in jail rather than have Gordon Ramsay verbally tear into them.
OH good GOd!! This is going to be a rough one!!
9902281
I'm getting flashbacks...
9901359
No jails to kind send in Ramsay
Am I correct when I read "I'd let you fuck me here right now on the floor if I wasn't so depressed." Or do I need therapy?
9902409
Is that referring to the sisters retiring?
9905439
Yes.
Okay, you know what this reminds me of? The season 6 Kitchen Nightmares episode 'Amy's Baking Company'. Some of the dialogiue was almost the same.
9907682
I think that was the point of the chapter. The chapter title and the restaurant name are a dead giveaway: Greta's Baking Company. Though damn, Amy was a massive disaster herself. You can tell ust how potent this chapter is and they just mimicked the actual episode. Just goes to show how messed Amy and her boyfriend were. Geez.
9902544
I've been trying to figure that one out for a while now.
What happens next, I must know!
Caught up on this at last. I get the feeling Greta doesn't quite know what she's in for.
9920573
She's in for this
You know the food is bad when you would rather go to another universe to eat
9900512
The funny thing is, people say this IRL all the time
Even if it is, he's had worse.
Given the Earlier Mentions of Redestributing The Wealth, The name Gulag is quiet appropriate..
Gordon is definitely going to be thinking how familiarly dejavú this is. And this time, he’s gotta be ready
.....What? What was that language and what did she say?
10841330
It's bastardised northern British with a bit of food between the teeth, my best approximation puts it at this:
"I'd take you and fuck you right now on the floor if I were not so depressed"
Probably a more accurate phrasing out there. I say one thing though – Gordon was definitely just being polite. He knew exactly what was being said.
... wat dis
10890953
oh..
The name of the restaurant strongly reminded me of Amy's Baking Company, been awhile since I saw that episode, yet I feel that this is pretty close to how the restaurant was run. But I do remember that Ramsay gave up and walked out in the end.