• Member Since 20th Dec, 2013
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David Silver


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She's a dark blue pegasus with a penchant for editing. He's a green unicorn that loves the arts. Together they... get torn apart. She has important family business to see to in Canterlot, and he's not invited. Their lives continue apart, until...

Being written for a patron that has put in for 5 updates a week! Let the updates flow!

Chapters (16)
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Comments ( 68 )

I've seen some of the things he's stuffed in their before...

there

Well forcing an arranged marriage, I doubt it will work this time around.

9257842
Shameful. Libel would be shaking her head.

I'm looking forward to seeing more!

I'm confused about the thing she's ashamed of... can she not control her bowels? It was really vague.

Libel gave the unicorn a stroke along her side with a wing. "Don't even worry about it. Make his refusal the project. Document how much he's trying to hide from you and go hard into details about that. You'll get a good grade."

Oh. What a great example to set.

But, then again, the character's name is Libel.

9259432
Oh good, I'm not the only one that doesn't entirely get it, even after the second chapter.

and lucrative beside when done properly."

Besides.

I'm not one for stories with the romantic tag, but this has me drawn in somehow.

Enjoying.
:pinkiehappy:

And so the dopey roommate actually puts effort to play matchmaker.

Poor Libel's been having an awful time, a bad ball, a mocking mother, and a false friend.

At this point I think she just needs to disappear from her mothers life and change her name. I think most of Libel’s issues stem from an overbearing mother who is causing far more harm then good.

Soon they will meet up.

And they will be "like peas and carrots again".

His roommate is like me. First try didn't work? Better call it quits and go to bed. Maybe tomorrow.

I dont want this!"

Apostrophe.

I've been writing non-stop and I feel for sure I'm gonna get an A + + +, can you get four plusses?

I suggest an exclamation instead of that comma.

"I just the last dot on the chapter."

You that messed sentence up.

Wait so she has problems with bladder control? From the way I see it she should be more than old enough to control it. I think that means it’s a medical problem. And IF I’m right that means she should really see a doctor about it.

Why has no one talked about this? Is it just another why for her mom to control her? Or is it just that the family name is to important and if something like that we’re to get out it could tarnish their name/reputation?

Or perhaps I’m thinking way to deeply about a fictional characters bladder control issues.

9261738
I don’t know about the name change. But I deffenetly agree with everything else.

9262894
We'd have to get pretty deep into knowing the medical level of Equestria. The show gives us precious few hints.

9262901
True that. But they do seem to have a fully functioning hospital in Ponyville of all places***. Then again like you said we have no concrete proof(either way of corse).
Well whatever this is not my story.

***Just realized that that’s kinda redundant but oh well. I still hope you get what I mean.

Still I’m enjoying this story so far keep up the good work.

9262917
If we assumed fully modern medical tech, they'd have to run down the possibilities. Is this a stress thing? Is there a blockage? No?

Does she have a neurological condition? If yes on that one... welp, we're done. There's not much of a fix for that.

Maybe the bladder is to blame. More to potentially fix/medicate there! But not assured.

Day Dream is just so fun to read. I think he would have tons of fun with Tree Hugger.

9263933
Of this I can only agree with.

9263963
Subplot? He's such a good friend, he deserves to find romance of his own...

For lack of a canvas, Splash is painting air!

I'm enjoying this emensly!

filling her lung - filling her lungs
in a firm reprimanding - in a firm reprimand
the fancifully pegasi - the fancifully dressed pegasi
Day tited his head - Day tilted his head

9265736
Look at all these typos Day is leaving in his wake. Libel's gonna be so mad!

Day Dreamer, what did you do? Is that plant what I think it is, or is that just part of his talent?

Day Breaker mosied from room to room.

Celestia has joined us, has she?

9266190
Oh no, she's been spotted! Now she's hiding again.

I want you do that - I want you to do that

9267298
Darn doctor's notes. So hard to read.

She grit her teeth

gritted, grit is the present tense

appear to be well-to-o,

Well-to-do.

Color Streak stood on the train's platform.

Color Splash.

verbiage and and massage - verbiage and and massage
waved a hoof lazilly - waved a hoof lazily
low class yokel - low-class yokel
How could she forget him. - How could she forget him? -Technically it should be, "How could she have forgotten him?"
Was she taking his bits away just by not being more clear. - Was she taking his bits away just by not being more clear?
The gat was unlocked - The gate was unlocked
They respected what she had done and will do. - They respected what she had done and would do.
stuffed it back in the envelope - stuffed it back into the envelope
gently chided Libelous - Libelous chided gently
confessed that feeling - confessed her feeling
Soon she had a typed letter ready, sealed, and ready to go. - Soon she had a typed letter finished, sealed, and ready to go. (one of the 'ready's was redundant :twilightsmile:)
and likely forgot about entirely. - and had likely forgotten about entirely.
his friend undoubtedly made - his friend had undoubtedly made


You know, it occurs to me that writing a story about a proofreading pony is sort of like waving a rex flag at a typovorous bat pony. :derpytongue2:

9270183
And lo the typos were cut down. And none mourned.

9270212

Err...

How could she have forgetten him. - How could she have forgotten him?

And so. "Please don't visit me" turns into, "Oh crap he's at my front door." This gon be good.

Part of him wanted to pause and pull out his paints.

I briefly read this as 'pants' and was extremely confused.

"Current occupation, head editor of the Canterlot Canter."

In the show, the main one is the Chronicle, per https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/754630/a-quick-edit-to-lateral-movement. Whether you want to use it that way is up for debate.

The time she had the chance.

This time.

and maybe the could hit it off

They.

she had pretty blue fur and brilliant silver and blue mane and tail.

Pretty fur and a brilliant silver.

She wore protection!

...:trixieshiftright:

Ouch I suddenly got the feeling that these two stallions are going to be wanting the same mare but she may not have the eyes for them. I hope their friendship will prevail.

The typos have camo today.

Libelous narrowed her eyes a little. He was, at best, middle class in her books. Middle class and sounded horribly boring so far... "I see..." She wondered how the amount he paid the butler figured against his own income.

Well, her attitude toward a stallion suitor sure is different, with judging his income and all
I suppose maybe she's trying to find an excuse to dislike him, though.

Who wouldn't want to snuggle with Derpy? She is one of the overall nicest ponies across this site. I don't think I have ever heard of a story where she isn't a good pony naturally, heck I bet her conversation universe selfs are just simply misled about so much that if she was shown the truth she would flip sides instantly.

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