Achilles, hero of the Iliad, is a man known through the ages. Stories of heroes like this appear all over the world, inspiring others to carve their own names into history. In the modern age, a young man has taken up the manta of this hero to start his own legend
Flash Sentry is a man who believes in always helping others and protecting those who can't protect themselves. Unfortunately, its hard to do that when other worldly magic attacks every other week. Fortunately, Flash finds magic of his own to fight alongside his magical girls friends against the mysteries Magi-Beast that have been attacking everyone in town. As Kamen Rider Achilles, Flash fights to defend others but can he unravel the mystery of those using magic for their own wicked plot. Can he win, or will his fear of losing control be his Achilles Heel?
5/16/22: now co written by Banshee531
I like it, but I hope this doesn't mean you're giving up on your other story.
9250006
hard to say. for now the story is on hiatus. I would hate to give up on it but I feel this will let me tell the story I want to tell
At least you're letting people know what to expect. Props on doing that much.
9250010 Fair enough.
I wouldn't say that, I mean rereading it I've noticed some things that I missed, I could pm you them if you want.
But thanks for stroking my ego
9250040
that would be good. also some help with he description of the story
And another reality born, telling the never-ending struggle of good vs evil and now another champion rises, another protector of freedom, another Kamen Rider!
At that moment a being resembling a carafe of red liquid burst through the nearest wall.
If there only would be justice in this universe
So, another card based Rider, ok.
That's one way of looking at it
So, we are not doing this mythology gag, fair enough.
Says the fire-breathing dragon...
Huh, cute.
Flash, you got that wrong, it's: "Oh yeah, I transformed!"
Yeah, a firebreathing monster is definitely more dangerous than a girl that can rip reality apart...
Yeah, first of all, missed pun here for Greek, shame on you. Second, it seems like that everything beyond Canterlot City is the normal world... how does that work? Since Achilles is the Real name it means that normal names exist and the pony names... my head hurts.
That doesn't mean much in this city
OK, opinion time. First, kinda disappointed by the fact that you didn't use punny hero names or the actual Equestrian heroes for the transformation devices, but oh well. The first chapter is definitely fine and I'm interested in where this goes.
9250193
yes I could have done better with the names but nothing really stood out to me and I was so despret not to do something as un original as "Kamen rider Harmony". I kind of just went with the idea of the fact that the royal guard in canterlot had that kind of Greek/ Roman astatic to there armor. yes I could have done Kamen Rider Magnus but I kind of decided agent it cause of the fact that I one of the thing on my idea bored involves the six pillars. as to why flash said oh no when he transformed, he has see what happens when someone transforms cause of equestrian magic, from his perspective its not really a good sign
9250218
Careful there, careful there.
Oh, I get that, I'm just incredibly snarky
So is Flash gonna get more cards later, to upgrade his arsenal, or is that one card all he's getting.
9250295
We are talking about Kamen Rider here, and it seems a Rider inspired by the Neo-Heisei era, that means, cards, many, many toys, I mean cards!
9250326 Interesting. But will they be like Build, or Fourze? That, is the question.
9250372
Well, some could grant new forms while others might just create new attacks, weapons, bikes., stuff like that.
9250379 I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
9250384
That is generally a good way of knowing.
9250388
9250384
I should clarify that the card the monsters use are normal card youd see in decade, ryuki, and blade. the cards Flash use are the ones Zeronos uses in the Zeronos buckle. only they don't eat away at flash's time line
9250673 Haven't seen that series yet.
9250685
Zeronos is the secondary rider of Den-O. I cant recommend that season if your new to riders
9250763 Fair enough.
This is an interesting start. I wish you had a picture of Kamen Rider Achilles.
Going with what Equestria magic has done I don't blame him. Also, his transformation is not so different from the ones before. I believe Equestria magic basically amplifies the persons strongest desires and changes them accordingly:
-Sunset wanted power
-The dazzlings their old powers
-Twilight Knowledge
-Gloriosa to keep her camp
-Juniper wanted fame
-Vignette wanted success and popularity
The reason they became corrupt and Flash won't is because their deepest desires were more selfish and it didn't matter who got in their way while Flash desire is to help people(outside of being with Twilight) and is willing to risk himself to protect others.
This...was awesome. I did wonder in the last chapter, why you didn't have Sweetie Belle be taken over by the monster. Now I get it and it's genius. Love that Trixie's gonna get to be one of Flash's companions. Looking forward to seeing how the next chapter looks.
9304910 Just a suggestions, but with Trixie on the team you have an excuse for Flash to get a catchphrase like W and Fourze. Tell me Trixie wouldn't start coming up with phrases for him to say.
9304951
So you don't want Trixie to rattle of suggestions for a catchphrase
9305035 No, I do. I'm saying it would be in her character to do so. In the next chapter you could have her saying a bunch of different catchphrases and Flash could pick the last one she made, or he comes up with his own after hearing all hers.
"Sure mate, want some? They are just delicoutastic!"
... I was kidding
I like him.
A Rider? So there are more?
Ok, so he is a timeline with all other Riders, so that could also mean that all Sentais exist, interesting.
I think that counts.
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"Thanks that you will help the Great and Powerfull Trixi with her explosives."
I'm sure he hit the Jack Pot... I'm not apologizing.
I like Trixi.
Huh, so the monster is male, interesting...
Damn, Trixi...
Oh... OH, so like the Bugster Virus.
*snickers*
That was absolutely adorable.
Well, now he has the Rider part down
Well, can't argue with that now, can we?
Magic AND dragons, mhmmmm
Like I said, Bugster Virus.
Oh, Ursa Minor... nice.
Ah, Agito Bike.
Well, she got that fast, damn.
Cute.
I personally prefer Starlight, but oh well, I ship it.
Oh, I see you put a picture of the Rider up, like it. Has a good balance, not too complicated, a nice color pallet. If you ever want that image to look more professional, I can only recommend this guy. He made this beuty for me and is really not that expensive.
pre00.deviantart.net/f690/th/pre/i/2018/224/a/1/commission___kamen_rider_alchemy_by_ramendriver-dcjxvx6.png
By the way, there was one thing I wanted to ask. Are Flash's cards in any way connected to the monsters, beyond being magical I mean.
9304951
That is genius...
"How about this one: You will become part of my legend? What, too tacky? Or how about this: Your legend ends here! Oh come on, that one was almost as great as Trixi. But this one is going to be it: I will send you straight to Tartarus!"
"The last one isn't actually half bad."
"Ha, I knew it!"
9306340 That last one would definitely work with what I was thinking. A pre-battle catchphrase like W, Fourze and Build.
9306375
The last one was actually the first one I came up with, goes back to the origins of the Rider name with old Greek myths and Tartarus, works inside the MLP canon and doesn't sound too bad. I just had to come up with two more to make the joke work.
9306340
I was going to say this later but no they are not related. Flash’s cards are made from pure Equestrian magic. The magi-beast are made with a mix of magic and toku science
9306404
Oh, ok. Kinda shame really that you didn't go with the Cross of Fire symbolism Kamen Rider is kinda known for, but ok.
9306404 Got it. Is Flash gonna get upgrades in the form of new cards? Maybe have him borrow the girls magic to make new cards, with abilities that are based on the girls?
9306410
well that's not to say we wont see some other running themes of kamen rider in this fic
Looking's at the picture you have of Flash's spear, I have a question. Where does the laser come out of? Is it at the tip of the blade or somewhere else? It's just a detail that's bugging me.
9306996
It works the same as Goki silver's trident
9307044 Oh...that's not made clear.
9307044 Wait, how would that work. The way you've drawn the spear makes it so folding it like Gokai Silver's spear would make it awkward to hold as a gun.
Sunset doesn't trust the rider yet but with good reason given her past experience with equestrian magic as well as him just starting to help.
Trixie finding out Flash's secret was something I wasn't expecting yet I wonder how it will play out as unlike Banshee's version in his power rangers story I don't see her taking advantage of him for fame.
9307365
Trixie has her honor as a magician to keep his secret
9307377
Well I would believe you but since I used to watch a lot of this:
external-preview.redd.it/wq54-hU2Y3wg6W02zxa1aQt1nhD-zio4NQwMvwZQ-AQ.png?auto=webp&s=8f302387e77525e8b3ab92820dcf2b6814cdd749
I still have my doubts on the magicians cod.
9250326 This random thought just occurred to me and I'm not suggesting that's what'll happen, but I thought I'd just throw it out into the open. What if Flash's power ups come from each of the girls, who share a bit of their magic and give Flash a new card. Each of these new cards could be give him upgrades based around the girl's abilities and named after greek characters known for those abilities. Like Rainbow giving Flash a card based on the speed god Hermes, or Applejack giving him a card based on Hercules. Just a random idea I'm throwing out there.
9322965
...
Sorry, sorry, that is just funny to me for certain reason, but back to the topic at hand. That is a good idea. Gives the girls something to do, it hands over the mantle of protector of the city and can develop Flash's character. It is certainly a good idea. That's why I kinda did the same.
9322965
that is the plan but the naming will be different. some liberties are made for Sunset and Fluttershy since they don't rally have combat oriented powers
So I was wondering. If this story had an opening title, what song would you use for it. Might I suggest LeeandLie's Make My Story.
9332574
Funny you suggest a MHA op cause I was thinking Johnny Young’s Simging to the skys
9332708 That could work. You should totally write an opening with a shorter version of it.
9332727
I will try to do a blog on it but I know if I write it down it won't be as good then how it plays in my head
9332781 Feel free to send me a PM of it to look over if you want.
Is it Kamen Rider Achillis or Achilles?
9360478
the first one
9360478 9360480 Sorry, that might be me. British computer, so it doesn't recognise a few American words. My bad.