• Member Since 24th Feb, 2018
  • offline last seen Yesterday

OrionSpark21


A Young Brony From Norway Who Writes For Fun

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A young man named Eddie Brock moves to Canterlot City from New York to get a new start at a new school, he seems to fit in perfectly and meets the Mane 7 and he becomes friends with them as well. But sometimes life isn't easy when you have an Alien Symbiote living straight up your ass. Eddie needs to keep the secret about Venom from others because he knows they will how they would react.


Just to note, this is a new take on the character of Eddie Brock and Venom. Eddie is a young teenager who dreams to become a reporter, when he lived in New York he bonded with a Symbiote named Venom who is just like the Venom in the Venom Movie which I loved. There is also more than one character with a symbiote that I am going to introduce in this story.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 108 )

Like pottery.

9270830
What??? if there is something I can improve on this fanfic series then just tell me.

9270852
Wait, let me guess, he is a troll right???

9270872
Makes a lot of sense. If I ever get my own Symbiote, I will be eating his head first

9270872

HE atTaCkS evErYOnE

Pointing out your awful grammar, bad dialogue, and edgy OCs for everyone to see isn't "attacking", you dependa.
9270887
*eating. Bad grammar aside, you do realize symbiotes don't actually...you know, exist. They're fictional characters from a comic book.

9270919
Wait, what?, they don't exist, no shit Sherlock of course I know they're not real. I am writing this fanfic because Venom and the mane 7 fuck yeah that would be awesome. What do you know about good writing?

9270932
A comedian put it best: "Look lady, you're right. I don't have kids. But I don't have to be a parent to know that your autistic shitstain that's screaming in a restaurant means you fucked up."
I don't need to be writing again to point out a tired plot or blatant self-insert. I don't need to be submitting works to the lazy mods here before telling an "author" that a title is supposed to be capitalised or explaining the difference between their/there like I did with junior here. When you post work on a public forum, guess what you're inviting?

I wonder if they’ll be a chapter that talks about anon-a-miss or involves anon-a-miss.

9270958
Okay, first of all, don't use Autism as an insult or a joke because it is offensive you fuck. Second, this isn't a self-insert story

9270962
Interesting topic. Maybe I could do one where Eddie is investigating Anon-a-miss and uses his journalism skills. Do you have other things you want to read in the future

9270970
Well I did come across a thread in the anon-a-miss group that talks a female symbiote that bonds with Sunset. You don’t have to use this idea if you don’t want to, but you should at least check it out. I’ll send you the link.

Venom and Death

9271071
I did have one concept in a future chapter where the Venom symbiote bonds with Sunset for a short while and Sunset getting her own symbiote so you are on to something.

9270965
Do you understand what a quote is, genius? Reread the comment and learn where you just messed up.

9271078
What did I even mess up?!

9271095
Reread this 9270958 out loud and look at what's between the quotation marks ("").

This is an interesting concept that has potential. Could be one of the more unique fics. However, I do have some criticisms.
Grammar could use some clean up. Wasn't awful, but still noticeable, like some punctuation errors or having two people talk in the same paragraph a few times.
Secondly, description. Most of the descriptions just felt too simple, or even bland at times. Especially with describing some characters. Just use a bit more, well, description, and everything transitions so much better and feels more "alive", if that makes sense. Dialogue could use a bit of a touch up, too.
Also, pacing. It went well for the most part, but when it got to the store robbery, everything just sped by like it all happened in a matter of seconds. Though, killing two birds with one stone, good description usually also eliminates this problem.
Finally, what may have been the biggest problem this chapter, all the references to the movie. Don't get me wrong, I loved the movie and really enjoy a good reference in any fiction, but you basically just reused exact quotes in different settings. So, for the people who've seen the movie, please trim it down a bit.
Overall, this story has a unique concept with excellent potential. Just either re-read chapters and edit before you publish them or get an editor. Either way, I hope you keep writing and improve as well, for too many authors let stories with high hopes die out.

9271224
Thank you for pointing out my flaws of this chapter, I will continue to improve on my self in Chapter 2 and try to slow down a little bit and give the dialogue a bit more touch up. I am glad that someone is pointing out my flaws without being a jerk about it.

But thanks for being honest.

Oh men you gonna new venom movie are you and more please

Great start cant wait next chapter :D

I was going to write that

9271816
The title you made was fine but using my art cover ,make your version of the cover yourself.

And I was just going to write the story as possible!

9271833
Okay but still, I liked that cover so I decided to use it,

9271833
Also, I don't know how to make the cover myself.

9271854
I'll see what I can do to make one.

I was struggling to find a story with Venom in it.... Thank u.

Ps: In the most respectful way, dont mess this up.

9271959
No problem, and I won't mess it up

My man sorry I might have looked dead on the fimfiction side but look on Fanfiction DoctorPony I'm been busy on a destiny story and Fanfiction is my non-mlp stories.

The story judging from the first chapter dude is amazing man, keep on doing the good work.

Question do you agree that there should be a fimfiction app, yes or no

9273406
Yeah, there should be a FImFIction app

9271110
Thank you, do you comment anything else then just awesome. I am not trying to be rude it is just that you are commenting Awesome a lot.

Just gonna leave this

Dude I would recommend him finding out they actually do have magic between 5-6 chapters don't do it right away give him signs that something is going on with the girls and he discovers that they weren't not lying about they having magic and spots or overhears them talking about twilight or equestria or both

9271224
Also, I am using Grammarly which really helps me correct my spelling and grammar mistakes

9275648
Although that would be cool, it is mostly mainly focused on the relationship between Eddie and Venom and The Mane 7, although it would be cool to see Eddie find out about the magic. What use would it be for the story, he doesn't need magical powers because he has an alien symbiote that gives him great strength, healing and many sorts of capabilities.

9282927
I understand where your coming from, I mean both him and venom find out the girls actually do have magic, in chapters 5 or 6. This your story this is just s suggestion for you.

For some reason I think a dark entity is the villain of this story, probably isn't

9286545
Thank you, so do you have other things to say about this fanfiction???

9286694
Like what else do you think about this chapter, any thoughts, any questions???

#LetSunsetShimmerHaveRealBaconForHair2k18

9286833
because I made Sunset bacon hair joke and put that in the story.

9286699
I like it and Not really

9286699
Give us more please, your doing good dude, I sent someone your way from my Gotham story

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