• Member Since 5th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

anonpencil


Don't read my stuff if you have a weak stomach or are easily bothered by traumatic genitalia damage. That's seriously all I've got in here!

E

After another failed attempt at a good deed, Starlight Glimmer is at the end of her rope. She feels like she's falling apart, and that she'll never be the pony her friends want her to be. Worse than that, she's beginning to wonder why they're all so nice to her. Are they really her friends or is she actually... a problem that they think needs fixing?
Maybe she'd be better off trying to fix herself. Alone.

Warning: Contains sads, and is meant to take place shortly after Starlight first moves to Ponyville.

Done as a commission for interrobang_, who wanted some good old fashioned emotional angst.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 30 )

Just like you said in your A/N, we've all been here. Very well done. :fluttershyouch:
One note though, once Starlight got back to her room, her name was written as Twilight and it confused me for a sec.

9248565
OH! thanks, I'll fix that!

Depression is a horrible beast. Been there, felt that. This is very compelling and heart-wrenching. Very well done.

I noticed a few tiny errors, and if you’ll forgive my impertinence:

With that, Applejack began to walk away. The words hit like a danger between Starlight’s ribs.

I think you mean “dagger?”

She stood up, keeping her head down and refusing to look at either pony. he could feel her legs

“She,” probably?

She focused not he next step of each hoof, zeroing in on the exact movement she needed to make next.

“On the,” I think? Lousy autocorrect.

She doubted there was redemption to be had, but it couldn't com from somepony who couldn't trust her.

“Come”

not bad...then ending thoughfelt empty, like nothing was fully settled

9248635
Thanks, fixed.

9248644
If it felt empty, then I've hit my mark. Thank you.

Huk

Wow that was... very nice! Any chance for more chapters :unsuresweetie: ?

9248682
Not unless I'm commissioned for more, heh. As of now, I doubt it. It was intended to end feeling like there's no closure.

This was a very heart breaking story, pencil. I've been in Starlight's shoes and I know how terrible she feels. I liked the statement you made about ones thoughts being a bully and I believe that to be true. Many of us tend to treat ourselves terribly. But ones mistakes should not define them. There is so much more to see if we will only look inside.

Intressting story I hope you will do a sequal as I see alot of potential in this story keep up the good work

9248690
That is nice though, kind of like how everyone has their own way to get through it. everyone can write their own ending in their brain. . . brains. . . sounds delicous

JackRipper
Story Approver

Done as a commission for interrobang_, who wanted some good old fashioned emotional angst.

Anonpencil is getting that bread lately. 🥖

9248794
I'm tryin' man! 10 commissions in 11 days!

Thanks for the great fap Anonpencil, you're such a dear.

9248958
Hahahahaha anytime! you weirdo ...says the weirdo. ;)

“Well, I tried putting everything away by hoof, but it was taking so long, so I made a spell that was supposed to have the tools put themselves away, but instead they all just tried to do their jobs all at once and… they destroyed each other.”

That looks more like early Twilight style: Starlight is extremely robust in achieving what she intends with magic, the problem usually lies in the fact that her thing is not something that should successfully be done in the first place.

Someplace where your mistakes won’t hurt anypony or anything?

That was cold.

As she heard the door latch, she shut her eyes and bit down on her lower lip.

Has Twilight locked the door behind her?

“Well… at least I got to say goodbye,” she whispered to herself.

To whom?

Also this. Is "star light, star bright" a some kind of common saying, or it's just a coincidence?

9249080
It's a children's rhyme for when you wish on a star.
"Star light, star bright
first star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight."

9249083
Thank you!
I realized that I should definitely have asked google first before bothering you :twilightsheepish:

9249111
It's okay! I always liked that little rhyme, it's nice to use it for a story. :)

Fuck me, this is..
This is some powerful shit right here.

Y u do dis to me

It's emotional self-harm. A trial suicide, if you will--you kill off that social self, then hungrily consume every piece of evidence that no one cares that you did so.

Mmmm delicious. I love seeing Shitlight be sad, this is going right into the spank bank

Comment posted by titanhades70 deleted Oct 24th, 2018

It's sad seeing best pony so sad. She needs a hug. Twilight get out there and do it.

You know, Applejack is being really hypocritical here considering who her other friends are and the list of similar stuff they have done. CoughRainbowDashCough. CoughPinkiePieCough . CoughTwilightSparkleCough

Remember that time Twilight put a spell on those pests and they ended up eating her house/barn/whatever?

i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/465/709/645.gif

Hmmm....

This is really good. But in my opinion, it would be better if you took it further....you know, have her go to Manehattan or something, have Twilight gather her friends and go after her. Have AJ apologise for overreacting (especially given the fact her barn was destroyed multiple times by her friends and herself and she didn't really do much, and yet here she came down hard on Starlight over a shed...which is much smaller than her barn), and have them convince her that she does deserve friendship and that she should come home where she belongs.

(All that is probably gonna be two chapters worth of writing!)

Anyway, that's what I would do. But of course, its your story.

Yeah. NO. This failed miserably on every level. Mostly because Applejack is acting like this doesn't happen a lot in Ponyville.

Is she entitled to be mad? Yes. But this is nothing but her being a bitch to Starlight as nothing more than pay back for season 5's premier.

And that goes against her character. She didn't do the same to Twilight in season 1, and to other ponies who did the same.

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