• Published 23rd Oct 2018
  • 2,494 Views, 99 Comments

Ex-King - SleepyBear

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God's Plan - E

Frank Schatten was proud to say that he was perfectly normal. He had a steady job as a Full-Stack web developer and a great group of friends.

He was the supervisor of the developing team; He was a tall 6"2, average build man 190 pounds. He had a small cat called Xerxes, and for him, the cat was pure perfection, there was no more beautiful cat anywhere.

He had everything he wanted, but he also had a secret, and was his greatest fear was that somebody would discover it. He shuddered to think what his friends would say if he said: "I love, My Little Pony."


The morning had dawned as always. Or at least that's what he thought.

"Good morning, Xerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr," said Frank, but as soon as he sought through his window, he realized something was off.

"Are you gonna pet me or not?" shouted Xerxes at him

"Sure..." replied Frank wait a sec

"Oh, damn it! the joke is over" shouted Xerxes

"What?!....how?!...you know what!? I have zero complaints about this, a talking cat is one of my dreams" said Frank with a huge smile

"O. M. ME....you are pathetic," said Xerxes

"Ok, so cats are assholes?...who cares?!, I still loved them!" shouted Frank

"First of all, I'm not a cat, and to put it mildly. I'm what every creature in the universe refers as, God" shouted God, with some fireworks behind him.

"So, why are you, cat?" asked Frank.

"Oh, for the love of me, shut up and follow me," shouted God.

Suddenly everything went dark. This place was unfamiliar, reminding him of space. He opened his mouth slightly, trying to make a sound. But nothing came out; it was as people said a library scream

Suddenly a flash of light blinded him. Frank stopped still, listening. It was God. he knew it was a dream—or at the least, he wished, all of this was a dream. He swallowed, preparing to ask a question.

"So, God, what do you want?" asked Frank

"Oh, well...What I want is simple, ENTERTAINING!" shouted God

"What?" asked Frank in disbelief

"Well, you see, being God is extremely boring, so I decided to have some fun...I mean, It's been a while since I made people believe 2012 was the end of the world" said God

"Ok, I still don't understand," replied Frank.

"Well, to be honest, you don't have too, you see I think, you may come to love this," said God (still in cat form) with a huge smile "Your new life is gonna start in Equestria! TADA!" God said doing some jazz hands

"What!. look I love the show and everything, but I have a life and friends" shouted Frank

"Hahahaha, cute, you think that you have an option," said God "Besides, I blow up your house..so there is no life or body to return"

"What?!" shouted Frank

"Well, enough of that. I have no time to waste!" replied God "You'll be reborn as a unicorn, don't worry you'll have the knowledge to fend yourself on that world, like, using magic, walking with hooves, reading and write, etc."

"But!?" shouted Frank.

"No buts!, and before I sent you off, you'll have some limitations, here is the list so you can familiarize with them," said God handing Frank a piece of paper

Rule 1 = You will not, be able to tell anyone you are an alien
Rule 2 = You will not be able to tell anyone your real name
Rule 3 = You will not be able to tell the ponies you had seen their future
Rule 4 = You will not be able to talk about anyone or anything that is on your native earth, but not on Equestria

"But don't worry, you get to keep your last name Mr.Schatten," said God (still in cat form) "Well, that was all the time we had for today, bye!"

FLASH OF LIGHT


He opened his eyes again and looked at his hands. Except they were not hands. They were hooves; his entire body was covered in grey fur. he also had a black mane and a black tale

"Ok, so where...Why is my voice so deep!?" running like a madman the pony stomped with an ice wall seeing his reflection "Oh for the love of...no!, YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK YOU GOD!, of all the ponies you could pick!. You pick SOMBRA!" shouted Sombra

Snow-covered everything, glittering faintly under a new moon. Nothing broke the silence in the snowy plain except for the occasional soft rush of snow sliding from the branches of trees and the faint rasping of dried reeds when the wind swept through them.

"Next time, give some useful stuff, like a fucking GPS!" shouted Sombra "why can't I say GPS?!"

Flashback

"No buts!, and before I sent you off, you'll have some limitations, here is the list so you can familiarize with them," said God handing Frank a piece of paper

Rule 1 = You will not, be able to tell anyone you are an alien
Rule 2 = You will not be able to tell anyone your real name
Rule 3 = You will not be able to tell the ponies you had seen their future
Rule 4 = You will not be able to talk about anyone or anything that is on your native earth, but not on Equestria

"Shit...so let's try. My name is Frank Schatten" said Sombra "So, I can't say my first name. But I can say my last name? That is Sombra in German...Love your redundancy, GOD!"


TEN HOURS LATER

Snow still covered fucking everything, glittering faintly under the fucking moon. The silence in the snowy plain was driving Sombra crazy. He'd been walking for ten hours straight.

"Where the fuck am I?!" shouted Sombra "If your idea of entertaining was to kill me, then resurrect me, to watch me die in this fucking ice tundra, you coulda watch that on National Geographic you asshole!"

"Halt!, state your name and business with the Empire," said a Pegasus equipped with an armor

Fuck it! I rather die in jail with three meals a day!

"My name is Sombra, and I formally surrender" replied Sombra


The guards dashed across the castle, pushing Sombra, hurrying up towards the throne room, Sombra knew what was coming.

"Sombra!, You will pay for your crimes!" shouted Shining Armor

"He will, sweetie, but for now we will have to wait for aunty Celestia and Luna, to decide his punishment," said Cadence

"I plead guilty of everything, throw me into a dungeon, or something" said Sombra

"You think this is a game!. Yesterday you attacked the empire and now, you surrender peacefully!?" shouted Shining Armor staring at him

"Look, I'm super cold, starving, and exhausted. I don't want to fight or anything, ask your guards I surrender peacefully and without a fight" replied Sombra I'm too tired for this shit

"Throw him into a cell for unicorns!" ordered Shining Armor to the guards, "and I want the report of Sombra's capture."


"Oh fuck yes! a bed!" shouted Sombra entering his cell "Now if you excuse me gentlecolts!. I have a long-overdue sleep bill to pay"

with that Sombra closed his eyes, thinking what would happen tomorrow

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