• Published 25th Oct 2018
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A 14th Century Supplement in Celestia's Court - Antiquarian



A short compendium of supplementary data, bonus chapters, spinoff chapters, and spoof chapters for A 14th Century Friar in Celestia's Court.

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Her Type

Author's Note:

A couple chapters back, Pinkie casually mentioned that Rainbow was ‘stalking’ Marble Slab to Rarity. The fashionista didn’t immediately notice the mention (because it came in the middle of a hardcore Pinkie-ing). When she did she naturally wanted details, but she quickly gave up trying to get them from Pinkie because I just wanted the chapter to be done and wasn’t really thinking about it I didn’t want to side-track the story too much and I felt it plausible that Rarity would give up trying to get a straight answer out of Pinkie and would resort to other means of gathering intel. When folks commented on my oversight Rarity’s calculated delay in gathering intel, I decided to work something in later on.

Then I realized there’s no way Rarity would wait the near two-week period between ‘First Lessons Part 3’ and ‘On the Theory and Application of Violence’ to gather information on the suspected love life of one of her closest gal pals. If all else failed, she’d probably just booby trap some Wonderbolts memorabilia and drag her captive off for interrogation.

Thus, I figured I’d write up this chapter since the current main story is stuck in limbo afflicted with a writer’s block the size of Detroit coming along about as well as sandpapering my tongue to clean it taking longer than expected. Consider this the first fully-canonical side arc to the main story, with a bonus commentary on some of the themes that I accidentally added deliberately wove into the conclusion. It takes place perhaps a day after Rarity and Pinkie visited the hospital and right before Rainbow and Applejack begin training. Our scene opens in Carousel Boutique…

Rarity’s life had always had a certain measure of shock and surprise. This, in and of itself, was neither shocking nor surprising. After all, every pony has some unexpected things happen now and again; it would be more unexpected if she didn’t.

With that said, Rarity’s life had become considerably more eventful following the Nightmare Moon Incident. She had always been friendly enough with the other girls (sans Twilight, of course), but it was a dramatic change for her to become so close to five other mares that they were essentially sisters in all but blood. The bonds she’d forged with them were akin to those forged by soldiers in combat – that particular closeness whereby a pony might walk through fire to protect a pony whom she might otherwise have little to nothing in common with. Such closeness had given her insight into why so many ponies made a career out of the military. After all, to share such depth with other ponies, to the point that six mares might poetically be said to share one beating heart, was more than worth all the brushes with death she’d had in the past few years.

Bonds of this nature are not lightly forged, however. Quite literally overnight, Rarity’s life had shifted from that of a normal pony to that of a normal pony who regularly stared down death to save the lives of ponies she would never meet. These days, it was not uncommon for her to be interrupted in the midst of sewing with whatever catastrophe loomed on that particular day. Such surprise disasters had simply become a part of the weekly routine (as much as surprises can become routine, of course). When it came to being friends with Twilight Sparkle, Spike, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy, shock and awe came with the territory.

This was not to say that life-and-death scenarios were the only changes to her routine, however, or even the only source of surprises as related to her friends. Quite the opposite, in fact. Most interactions she had with them were of the mundane and harmless variety, and they frequently began with one of her friends dropping by unannounced. Even as commonplace as such visits became, there was still an element of shock present in them that kept her on her hooves.

All of which was a very long way of saying that Rarity nearly jumped out of her skin when Rainbow Dash unexpectedly uttered the word “‘sup” directly behind her.

“Rainbow Dash!” shrieked Rarity, spilling her sewing supplies across her desk in shock. “Sweet Celestia, darling, I nearly jumped out of my skin!

“Sorry,” smirked Rainbow Dash, who, in truth, did not look particularly sorry. It might have been the smirk. “I just need a favor real quick.”

Rarity huffed and began magically collecting her scattered materials. “Well, after scaring the living daylights out of me, I’m not entirely sure that I want to grant such a favor.” She made a great show of returning to her work.

Rainbow groaned behind her. “Come on, Rarity. I wasn’t even trying to startle you this time. I just need some thread that matches my flight suit so I can fix this stupid tear in it.” She waved the garment in question in the air. “I want it to be in one piece before I practice maneuvers with Marble. Just point me to the right blue and I’ll be out of your mane.”

The mention of Marble Slab brought a certain gleam to Rarity’s eye. She had not yet found the time to follow up on Pinkie’s rather… intriguing remark the previous day. And now Rainbow presents herself to me on a silver platter. Perfection! Careful not to show her excitement, the fashionista cast a laconic glance over her shoulder, feigning irritation. “Well, I suppose I could assist you in that regard. Far be it from me to let a friend be improperly attired, annoying though she may be.”

“Thanks, Rarity!” beamed Rainbow. “You’re a lifesaver!”

“Well, I do strive to be useful,” remarked Rarity as she magically summoned several spools of thread from the nearby shelf, carefully comparing them to the ripped flight suit that Dash carried on one hoof. The dozen colors she selected were actually just a diversion; she knew from a number of Wonderbolt-inspired commissions which blue was required, but she didn’t want to just hoof the thread over and let Rainbow dash off before she’d sussed out the matter of Marble. “I suppose you’ll need my assistance in repairing the damage?”

“Naw,” replied the pegasus. “I’ll just stitch it up when I get home.” Rarity stopped pretending to compare colors and simply stared at her friend. “What?”

Rarity blinked, “N-nothing darling, it’s just… well…” Rainbow raised an eyebrow, “… I suppose I’m a little surprised that you found the time to work learning to sew into your, ahem, busy schedule.”

Rainbow snorted. “Yeah, well, you can thank the military for that. We’re supposed to be able to maintain our kit, which makes sense, but that also happens to include our uniforms. Fortunately, I’m awesome at it,” she preened. Rarity raised an eyebrow. “W-well,” faltered Dash, “I’m not as awesome with it as I am with other things, like, you know, actually flying.” The eyebrow raised further. “I mean… I get the job done, ya know? Rarity’s raised eyebrow reached Applejack levels of silent disbelief. “Okay, I can’t sew to save my life,” admitted Rainbow.

“Then I’d be happy to help you, darling,” said Rarity, the warmth of her smile hiding her glee that she’d now have plenty of time to interrogate her friend. “Well, this color looks to match it quite well. As for the tear… hmm… that’s quite a rip. It’ll take some time to fix it.” ‘Some time’ being an appropriately vague term.

Ugh!” moaned Rainbow. “Seriously? Can’t you just magic it back together?”

Rarity summoned a needle and set to work. “Not if you want it looking good as new for Marble.” Rainbow huffed and nodded. “So… you’re eager to see him, then?”

Rainbow blinked. “Well, yeah. Guy’s gonna show me some combat maneuvers we didn’t really cover in the Bolts. Different kinds of squadrons, ya know?”

“Well, that ought to be fun,” said Rarity as she repaired the garment. “He seems a rather pleasant stallion. Well-mannered. Dutiful.”

“I guess,” shrugged Rainbow.

“He’s rather fast as well, as I recall. Something you rather prize,” prodded Rarity.

“Sure,” agreed Rainbow blandly.

It took effort for Rarity to keep the annoyance off her face. “Do you have plans for… after you practice?”

The pegasus gave Rarity an odd look. “You feeling okay?”

“Whatever do you mean, darling?”

“You’re doing that… thing,” replied Rainbow, gesturing vaguely with a forehoof. “That thing where your voice gets all funky with where you’re putting emphasis because you’re saying one thing and meaning another thing.”

Rarity sputtered. “W-why I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, darling!”

Rainbow gave her an ‘I-don’t-buy-it’ look. “Come on, Rarity. I haven’t had my mid-morning nap and I’m not picking up what you’re laying down. What are you after?”

Her friend’s inability to read the nuance of the conversation left Rarity so vexed that she had to stop sewing to respond. Heaving a sigh, she exclaimed, “Fine, Rainbow Dash! If you want to take all the fun out of it, I was asking after your interest in Marble.” Rainbow stared at her blankly. Surely even she’s not that dense! She was about to speak even more plainly (and far less politely) when Rainbow’s pupils shrank to the size of pinpricks.

Whoa whoa whoa!” cried the pegasus, backpedaling so hard she took flight and hovered. “I’m not— he’s not even— no! Just, no!”

Rarity giggled. “Oh, Rainbow, there’s no need to be so coy. It’s quite natural for you to take interest in a fit young military stallion.”

“Rarity, I didn’t— he’s married, Rarity!”

That bombshell stopped Rarity cold. She blinked rapidly as the information settled in, and by the time it was done all she could manage was, “Oh.”

Having gained control of the conversation, Dash continued. “Yeah, married three years with two little foals zippin’ around and another on the way. He’s not exactly on the market.”

“Mm,” remarked Rarity with pursed lips. “So you weren’t—”

“No, Rarity, I didn’t make a fool of myself asking him out,” said Rainbow flatly. “Heck I wasn’t even interested. Where’d you even get that idea?”

Rarity sighed and went back to work. “Pinkie Pie, darling. In her defense, she did see you stalking him.” She paused sewing to look at Rainbow in confusion. “Why were you stalking him, if not out of romantic interest?”

“Hey! There are plenty of good reasons to stalk a stallion!” Silence followed Dash’s statement. After a moment, the mare put a hoof to her face. “Okay, that didn’t come out how I meant it.”

“I’m sure,” smirked Rarity, resuming the stitching. “So, you had some innocuous and boring reason for pursuing him?”

“Eeyup,” said Rainbow in a passable impression of Big Mac, made all the more impressive by her much higher vocal range. “Even if he was single, he’s not my type.”

Rarity sighed, her hopes of mare-talk with one of her closest friends dashed. “Well, that’s fair I suppose.” She was about to remark on the sewing when Rainbow’s words sank in. “Just why isn’t he ‘your type,’ Rainbow? I thought you liked athletic pegasi stallions.”

She was careful to keep her eyes on the flight suit and Rainbow on her peripherals as she asked, so that Rainbow wouldn’t feel as put on the spot. It was well she did, for the blue mare flushed at the question. “Well… I do… like athletic stallions I mean… he’s just… not my type is all. Not really what I’m looking for.”

“But why isn’t he your type, darling? Something in his personality? His mannerisms?”

“No, not that. He’s just… not my type.”

“Well, what is it that disqualifies him from being your type?”

Dash hovered anxiously, biting her lip. “Well it’s… he’s not… I’d like a guy who…” Her face now approached Big Mac’s in color.

Rarity looked up over her sewing glasses. “Yes?” she prompted.

Rainbow screwed her eyes shut, landed, sucked in a breath, and exclaimed, “Hestooshort.”

Rarity blinked, not sure she’d heard right. “I beg your pardon?”

“He’s too short,” said Rainbow at a more normal speed. “I don’t like stallions who are shorter than me.”

Once more, a silence hung over the room. “O-okay,” said Rarity slowly. “To each their own, I suppose. May I ask why?

Rainbow’s color was now in the ballpark of ‘crimson’ as she looked away in shame. “You’d think it’s silly.”

The fashionista snorted. “Darling, you forget that I once had a crush on Blueblood of all ponies! I’m the last pony to be able to lecture you on your taste in stallions!”

With a shaky chuckle, Rainbow replied, “Well, I guess that’s true. You…” she winced, “you promise you won’t laugh, or tell the others?”

“Pinkie Promise,” replied Rarity solemnly. Then, a touch manically, she hissed, “Now spill, darling!”

“Well… okay,” sighed Rainbow. “Here goes. The truth is… I want to be the cuddlee.” Rarity had to bite her lip to keep from laughing at infamously ‘tough’ and ‘cool’ Rainbow Dash expressing that she wanted to be the ‘cuddlee,’ which left her unable to ask what in the hay Rainbow meant. Fortunately, it seemed that the admission had opened the floodgates, as Rainbow was soon almost tripping over her words explaining. “Look, I’m the greatest flier Equestria’s ever seen, the Bearer of Loyalty, the, like, six-time savior of Equestria and however-many-times savior of however-many-places-in-it, and all this other totally radical stuff and… well… I happen to want a strong, masculine stallion who’s big enough to cuddle me and not the other way around.” Now that she’d finished, she stared forward with a defiant look on her face, as though daring the world to laugh at her. “Yeah.”

Rarity was taken aback by the outburst to say the least, but she couldn’t keep an amused smile off her face. “Oh, Rainbow Dash, there’s nothing wrong with that! There’s no rulebook that says you have to find every variety of stallion attractive. That would be silly! And there’s certainly no rulebook saying that you’re any less awesome, radical, strong, and independent just because you want the feel of a big, strong stallion’s forelimbs around you!” She chuckled. “If we were diminished simply by being in the presence of other ponies who surpass us in some specific way, then being friends with Twilight would mean that we were all idiots, being friends with Pinkie would mean that we were all humorless, and being friends with Fluttershy would mean that we were all sociopaths by comparison.”

Rainbow let out a deep breath. “So, you don’t think it’s weird?”

“Not at all darling,” Rarity assured her. “And why should I find it weird? That’d be as ridiculous as comparing myself to Fashion Plate and saying that I’m less of a pony just because I don’t know as much about running fashion shows, even though I’m quite well-versed in them myself and have a talent in fashion design that he lacks. To regard the excellence of others as a threat is a sign of insecurity, not strength. By contrast, to desire a mate who exceeds us in one capacity or another is a sign of confidence and self-assurance, not weakness.”

“Whoa,” said Rainbow, blinking. “When you put it like that, it sounds pretty cool. And,” she scratched the back of her head with one hoof, “I guess it makes sense. I mean, Marble showed me pictures of his wife, and, lemme tell ya, she’s got like a foot on him and is built like she could throw AJ around. But he’s not threatened by that. He’s strong and he knows it. Whether she’s bigger or stronger than him doesn’t matter.”

Rarity gave a satisfied smile. “Precisely, darling.”

Rainbow chuckled. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing I had a rip in my suit, or else I woulda just kept worrying about that.” She glanced at the clock. “But, seriously, how much longer will this take.”

“Oh, I finished ages ago, darling. I was just pretending to work on it so that you’d spill the beans.”

“… you’re the worst.”

Rarity beamed. “You know you love me.”

“Shut up and give me my suit.”