Sweetie thinks she's found the one he's funny lovable and maybe just plain silly but she likes him though she's not sure she knows how to tell him, but maybe something spontaneous will come up.
"Warning contains young romance and adorable ponies falling in love just a one-shot idea I had for a while. big thanks for editing by blackraven hope this is good enough to satisfy the higher level writers, critique is accepted just be kind :mustache:
ps i know it's not written as well as it could be but its the best I can manage at my current level
Chapters (1)
Super cute story that I found to be very heartwarming, but you could use an editor. Not a bad story at all but chock full of missing punctuations and letters that should be capitalized but aren't. Several of the sentences rambled on a bit long but otherwise, an overload of cuteness that put me in a better mood.
I’m not reading a story that has zero capitalization in its title.
EDIT: Nor it’s bio. Christ, dude..
It does need some editing, but overall I liked your story.
Good idea, but it needs an edit and the sentences need to be shortened-you are not James Joyce.
9272238
Where are these waterheads coming from? The last two years have seen a disturbingly high amount of "people" with the grammar of a small child show up. For that matter, how are these things getting approved? Knighty, fire your mods.
Practically zero knowledge of proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Thumb Down™.
9272570
Thumb up for your comment good sir.
And a thumb down for this story
9272448
Hey don’t be so rude.
9569784
It's true though. Brutaly honest is usually the best way to go. This site is full of "writers" that are an insult to those of us who actually put effort into what we do.
9610030
Really?
9272570
According to Eldorado, one of the mods, the SPaG rules on this site are actually pretty lax. Doesn't excuse it though...
9610030
Trolls? Or just people who cannot use a keyboard?
9272448
I can’t speak for this particular author, since I don’t know them, but I’d be willing to be that you answered your own question. A lot of the new authors seem to be young children that have found the site. Just something to keep in mind before you get too insulting in the comments. Feedback, even harsh feedback, of the story is not the same as insulting the person.
9610808
What's the minimum age for this site?
9610701
Both. Usually feels like they're one and the same too.
9611034
Ah, OK. I have to deal with my fair share of both, such as Sonic_Applejack2005.
9610868
You are supposed to be 13, but it is the internet, so.....I guarantee that there are people younger than that using the site.
9611184
Wouldn't surprise me.
9611066
That's who I was thinking of actually. Probaly a few more too that I see.
9611576
Evictus?
9611691
It, and probably a few more I can't think.
9611748
I still get the impression somehow that Evictus is genuine.
*listens to story*
...
...
*sighs*
Okay, dude, you need a major editor, big time.
*down votes*
Hey dude . If you need an editor .I'm opened to the position
9803281
thank you^^
9803309
What is our way of communication
If I may brother, I recommend you send me an editable file. I fix it up and repost this story. What you say?
9803309
OK. Hopefully I will be done by tomorrow
its blackraven dude
not back raven
9840755
fixed^^
Cute story!