• Member Since 26th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 23rd, 2012

dashie_<3er


E

Many sparks flew at the Grand Galloping Gala when a simple apple pie decides to fall.....

Well, this is my first story. im not sure if this will continue, but if anyone wants, i'll add...
No hate for a straight Rainbow Dash shipping.....
I don't own MLP or its characters, Hasbro does

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 70 )

On Hiatus right when it came out?
Oh well, lets start reading

I like it. I really do. The pacing feels a bit too fast, but frankly all first time writers are like this. :twilightsmile: And you might want to make scene changes more clear. Allow me to explain:

He unfurled his wings and dashed forward, hoping the wind from his flying would help him forget that night. Most importantly, Rainbow Dash.

--

Dash grumbled and pushed her muzzle deeper into her cloud pillow when she felt the sun beat down on her. She tried falling back into sleeps grasp, but it was no use. She was awake.

Those two "--" are great tools. They're great for signifying scene changes.

I love the straight Dash shipping. :ajsmug: I always have and I always will!

Keep it going! Don't stop until you're done!

P.S: Don't forget to indent all of your paragraphs.

I do enjoy a awesome SoarinDash fic:rainbowkiss: it's my favorite type:pinkiehappy:

Hmmmm do I want more?...YES!
I agree their aren't enough SoarinXDash fics so anytime someone makes one, especially a decently written one (which despite its length I consider this to be), I jump all over it. So I must request/demand this be taken off hiatus and continued post haste.
Saw some errors here and there, nothing major and kinda nit-picky but hey.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Rainbow_Dash.png

He felt idiotic on how not to, she was stunning. (felt idiotic on how he didn't too)
He had never been this nervous at this very moment. ("as nervous as this" or "this nervous before")
Her scent along with the apple pie, filled the air. (missing comma after scent)
With a couple shakes of her head, he was satisfied with the look,dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Rainbow_Dash.png
Although the night wasn't as satisfied as she wanted it to be, (satisfying)

1042337 thats wat i'm thinking, and he has no other stories too:applejackunsure:

Well here is some news: I myself wrote a SoarinDash fic:rainbowdetermined2: but it was my first fic and it has some errors on it:facehoof: and I agree with the two people above me WE WANT MORE!:flutterrage: Please:fluttershysad:

SoarinDash is best pairing! :yay:

1042337 haha well, i really didn't know if i would continue. I was actually really nervous on submitting, but if i got some people to ask me to continue, i would, so i thought putting it on hiatus was better than saying it would continue

>>Edragon heh, sorry about that, but people make mistakes right?

heh, sorry about that, but people make mistakes right? 1042414

1042518
Of course, no need for apology, expecting you not to make any mistakes would be silly. I just wanted to point them out so you would be aware of them and could more easily correct them at your convenience.
Though I'm betting Dash would be rather displeased at that one particular error.:rainbowwild:

1042533 Eeyup and thanks for that! i'll get right to it! im sure Rainbow would be... heh...:twilightblush:

1042581 Thank you! i will try my best! if i don't i'll gladly accept any constructive criticism :scootangel:

1042338 Thanks! i'll use that! :twilightsmile:

First off, SoarinDash is best ship. I had to get that out there. :twilightsheepish:

As far as the fic goes, it does seem to be starting a bit fast but it also has potential. I'm not a writer myself so I cannot give the best advice.

Story is added to my "read later" list and I'll be keeping an eye on it. Keep writing! :pinkiehappy:

I would've called it:
Love at First Slice

1042414
Trust me, we know how you jump all over SoarinDash fics :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright::moustache:

1042655 First, to that SoarinDash statement: AGREED! :rainbowwild: and if you don't mind on telling me how you think its too fast? i'd just like to improve :twilightsheepish:

1042676 Don't worry! Chapter Two is on its way! :ajsmug:

you really need to make moar! :pinkiehappy: i will die with out it:pinkiecrazy:

1042711 ahaha, for you, I WILL PROCEED! :rainbowlaugh:

This is really good for a first story. Keep it up. :twilightsmile::rainbowdetermined2:

1042760

No problem. There are a lot of really helpful people here.

1042683
Oh hey, didn't hear you come in.
Greetings and welcome to that guy obsessed with SoarinDash fics.:rainbowwild:
Now that you're here I'm expecting great things from the both of you now.:pinkiehappy:

1042797 im VERY obsessed with the shipping as well :pinkiecrazy: :pinkiecrazy: :pinkiecrazy:

1042846
Awesome a kindred spirit :pinkiehappy:
This is my favorite pairing.

*sees the story is no longer on hiatus* As it should be dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rainbow_Dash_lolface.png

Well don't stop now man. Update!

1042846
I have a SoarinDash I'm writing. Edragon is a faithful reader and an awesome reviewer.

1042912 well, i was kind of determining rather or not I should continue, I was pretty nervous about submitting this, I really thought it would get more hate :twilightblush::fluttershyouch: Though im glad its the opposite! i didn't want to put "Incomplete" if i wasn't going to continue and I technically wasn't going to end it right where I did, but now, i changed the status! more shall be written! :pinkiehappy:

1042919 Haha! i will try! but good things take time :yay:

1042692
Certainly!
It looks as if both characters fall for "love at first sight" right in the first couple paragraphs. This does fit the title though.:derpytongue2:
However, I just realized while typing this up that I don't know how long your story is supposed to be once completed. This story is paced just fine if its a 5000 word story but a bit fast if its 100k words. I suppose I need more information about what you plan to do to give a proper response (Not that you actually have to tell me anything. :twilightblush: )

Another thing to do here at the beginning of the fic; Since you are using Soarin' as one of your main characters, it is up to you to give him a more in-depth personality. Your readers (supposedly) know a lot about Rainbow Dash's personality because they have watched the show. However, there's not a whole lot on Soarin' because of his small amount of screen-time. We as readers need to know what motivates Soarin' - and Rainbow as well - into liking one another. So far, both characters just saw each other at the Gala and now they like each other. - Again, this is perfectly fine for a very short fic because that's all you have to work with. If this turns out to be as long as the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, then I think you have a problem. :ajsmug:

Just remember this is only from my personal experience so I apologize if I am giving incorrect advice or if I'm being too picky. I'll be waiting to see more as the story unfolds! :twilightsmile:

A SOARIN/DASH FIC? :pinkiehappy: TOTALLY FAVED!

Why hello there. :moustache: I am very pleased to tell you i am about to read your story. :pinkiehappy:

*Slow claps* Great job! I'm not one for SoarinDash (or any shipping for that matter), but this one was awesome. :pinkiehappy: Can't wait for next chapter!

It's true, there isn't a whole lot of SoarinDash fics. Nice to see someone make one, with only a few grammar mistakes. For some reason the beginning reminded me of another fan-fiction but, I can't seem to remember which one it was. Anyway, great job! :twilightsmile:

will fav because I like soarin dash

::yay:
A shipping fic......:pinkiehappy:

Very nice job sir or madam

i like it. i especially liked the segway into season 2.

I want to see where this can go I think i deserves more than 1 chapter.

Also you're not the only who can't find Soarin/Dash, granted i like almost all types of shipping its just really hard them

if you do decide to continue keep up the great work

HOW DID HE KNOW WHICH PONYCOUPLE I LIKED THE MOST?

s3.amazonaws.com/TrollEmoticons/clevergirl.jpg

Well... I just read the first chapter and so far I'm loving the story. I really like the idea of a straight rainbow dash ship. Why do all of the mane 6 have to be into mares? Especially Rainbow Dash... she is always portrayed as a filly fooler WTF? Anyway, I think the Dash-Soarin combo is great and honestly it makes perfect sense. (though he might actually have a thing for Applejack... apple pie is a powerful drug) Naturally Dash would be quite taken with Soarin simply because she idolises him, and of course Soarin wouldn't be able to resist the charm of a beautiful mare who also happens to be the fastest flyer in Equestria. I LOVE IT!!!!! Just follow the advice of the good folks who offer constructive criticism, and do your best to thoroughly proofread before publishing. If you need a pre reader just PM me and I'll be more than happy to help out. Carry on good sir!:rainbowdetermined2:

Nice story! Can't wait for the next one.

Criticism:
It was a bit too fast. Like, all over the place for just a short story.

thats all. :twilightsmile:

Really good.
Keep it going.
:pinkiehappy:

she was no morning person

What's a person? :derpytongue2:

I think you could break up your paragraphs a little more. It helps make things easier to follow. :twilightsmile:

First off I'm agreeing with anyone who says SoarinxDash is best shipping:pinkiehappy:
I read the whole thing and loved it, aside minor grammatical errors it was a great first chapter!
One thing though, on the last ep. of season two while twilight was singing and pictures were being taken Soarin and Rainbow Dash were dancing together, I noticed this absence in the story, but sense ch.1 for your story is out already it might be a little late to add that.(Don't mind if you do!):derpytongue2:
INSTANT FAV AND THUMBS UP! MORE CHAPTERS PLEASE!:twilightsmile:

You have my attention sir, continue.

On a side note, not a big mistake, but:
His schoolmates and His own parents, ... he would want to apply.

The second 'his' doesn't need a capital h. Also, you might want to read that whole sentence out loud a couple times. It really doesn't sound right to me.

That doesn't really matter though, I am looking forward to the next chapter.

Hunter C. Creed

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