• Member Since 30th Jan, 2012
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A guy. A guy who writes stories. Stories about ponies. (And sometimes robots).


This story is a sequel to The Prisoner of Zebra

Flash Sentry's strangest adventure yet!

While at a party at Princess Twilight's crystal castle, Flash Sentry has a bit too much to drink (which is to be expected), and stumbles across a certain magical mirror (which ... also is to be expected, should one think about it too much). And so, how will Flash fare when thrown into another dimension entirely? And what will he have to do to make it home?

That is, if he isn't just hallucinating the whole affair to begin with ...

Volume 7 of the Flash Sentry Papers.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 63 )

Yep, that's Sentry's luck alright :rainbowlaugh:

Thankfully, the portal transit includes clothes.

This is going places. I'll take one ticket, dining class please.

“That's terrifying.”

Kinda, yeh.

Assuming the diarchs keep solstices and equinoxes consistent with the calendar year, wouldn't Twilight's Moved-To-Ponyville-To-Discover-The-Meaning-of-Friendship-Versary just be the day before the Summer Sun Celebration?

I had to stop reading for a few seconds at "Let me know if you start hallucinating!" I was laughing too hard to continue.

In any case, I'm sad to say that scoundrel, cad, and general ne'er-do-well though he may be, Flash doesn't qualify for the Villain Exchange Program. Still, definitely looking forward to seeing what he gets up to in what may or may not be the human world. I can only imagine what each Flash will think of the other, and what both Sunset and human Twilight will make of the hero of the diarchy.

(Though now I find myself wondering what became of that worldline in G.M.F.'s day. Sunset Shimmer probably isn't immortal, but I can't completely rule out the possibility, and human Twilight, like any scientist, will want to share her findings on the fifth fundamental force at some point. And she'd have proof. If visitors from that strangest of strange lands are fantastic to Fresian, then who knows what they've gotten up to?)

Oh, and sorry for the double shelf notification. Bit of a misclick. :twilightsheepish:


Thankfully, the portal transit includes clothes.

The portal, yes. The Material Emancipation Grid on the other end? Not so much...

Well, technically yeah, if you want to get picky about it. But do you really want to try telling Pinkie that's not a good excuse for a party?

George MacIntosh Fresian, the fellow who's diegetically compiling the Sentry Papers. He signed the prologue.

Yay, Flash! This is going to lead to so much fun.


Oh, right. Hmm. A good question. If they aren't known in his time, then that means there must not be any big contact/interdimensional relationships between the worlds...

Looking back at Prisoner of Zebra, mention is made of "the semi-apocryphal Sunset Epistles." She wrote something, but it seems ponies aren't sure whether to believe it.

Maybe cut it down to something like 15 seconds on the clock- a few minutes means that Crystal Prep gets possession back for sure.

And cowardice wins the day once again! I do feel sorry for Carrot though, let's hope that by the end Sunset finds out and assuages the poor girl.

...instinctively, intuitively, I knew something was very, very wrong, even if I couldn't place my hoof on it.

And not for what I would soon realize was the obvious reason.

A carelessly secured magical experiment, on the other hoof ... I'd been in Canterlot during that fiasco with the giant centipede, after all.

We do not speak of the Gargantulon Incident.

Ditzy told you, didn't she? She promised me she wouldn't tell anyone I played Ogres and Oubliettes!

Now I want to see the rest of their party. I can only assume Ditzy plays the team cleric, presumably with Chaos and Luck domains. Bonbon is either a rogue or a ranger with favored enemy (magical beasts) depending on whether Carrot took rogue or monk. Human Fancy Pants, no doubt the teacher supervising the Tabletop Games Club, is almost certainly the DM.
On a more narratively significant note, interesting to see that Carrot Top suspects Sunset of being behind what she sees as further mockery. If Twilight's castle has sprouted, Sunset's been hit with the Rainbow Beam of Fix Everything™: Single Element Edition®, so this must be pre-Dazzling... except the mechanisms are in place. Well, assuming that this isn't all the work of the Green Fairy, Carrot may just not like Flash or Sunset. That is theoretically possible.

“Now c'mon! We don't wanna be late-- The Wondercolts are gonna need their star quarterback!”

Ohhhh dear.

It's not as if things could get worse, I thought.

Shame on you, Sentry. I thought you'd know better than that. (Though to his credit, that was a beautiful bit of reverse psychology.)

:rainbowlaugh: Funny how those parallels between worlds pan out. I have no idea where this will go from here, but I look forward to finding out.

I was hoping it'd be the Gargantulon!

Now, will this unexpected glory bite the other Flash Sentry when he comes back, or is the Ape Version of our hero a true believer?

I'd been in Canterlot during that fiasco with the giant centipede, after all.

I dare not ask.


Considering the title of Special Agent, I'd say she's a Rogue more than a Monk.

This works really well.

AHA! Shimmer had been suspiciously out of focus. Shoulda seen it coming.

I can't help but think that either Rarity would concede that "a fearsomely moustached brute" is an apt description of her father.

Hmm. Sci-Twi's presence makes Carrot Top's hostility towards Sunset all the stranger...

I wish I could say the doors parted with secret-treasure-fanfare of a Daring Do novel...

I know I'm not the only one who thought along those lines.

“Oh. That's disgusting.”

I understand why he said that, and I still want to stab him.

Human Flash is in for a bad time tomorrow. I sincerely hope Sunset can at least somewhat salvage his reputation. Of course, first she has to deal with this reprobate.

“That's what I think of everybody.”

That's the thing that always bugged me about the Twilight/Flash "romance". Twilight had never seen a human male before—and not five minutes earlier she'd been freaking out over having hands. Yet she lays eyes on Flash and suddenly she's smitten!?

I so hope Sunset can save Ginsberg Flash's reputation and console Ditzy, because DAMN pone Flash was an utter asshole now. He's going to have to work hard and suffer A LOT to make up for it.

Fortunately Sunset will most likely know what to do :scootangel:

The one with the purple hair seemed to be doing her damndest to lick the tonsils of the one in the farmer's hat, who in turn had her hands halfway into the other's waistband.

Yay Rarijack.

“Just who the hell are you, and what have you done with the real Flash Sentry?”

Flash Sentry and not a thing.

I have come to the wonderfully horrible conclusion that human!Flash was going to the game (sick), and stumbled into the statue. He is currently having a "vivid fever dream about everyone being turned into colorful horses". Also making a mess of everything for pony!Flash to come home to.

Made better by the fact they don't have a "we were drunk" excuse.:rainbowlaugh:


You can blame the people I hang out with for having converted me to the and I quote: "Church of Rarijack".

Heh, so it turns out Rares and AJ were completely sober for their make out session.

I wonder if their pony counterparts are together as well. Not given since while the humans and ponies are very similar the are definitely not identical.

For example human Twilight is an unathletic klutz who made a fool of herself at the Friendship Games. While pony Twilight was fit enough to place 5th at the Running of th Leaves in Ponyville. A town where the majority of the population works in physically demanding jobs like farming or weatherwork.

A more intrinsic difference between them is that pony Twilight's biggest early problems were caused by her arrogance about her own intelligence while human Twilight suffered from the opposite problem of low self-esteem.

For the record, (earth) absinthe isn't sweet. It tastes VERY strongly of anise.

Equestrian absinthe on the other hand? Prepared by Pinkie Pie and infused with Earth Pony cooking magic? Well.

This is going to be good.

Ditzy plays a cleric with luck and TRAVEL domains. And can cast Plane Shift.

Well, yes, assuming I'm in charge of the universe. :derpytongue2:

You bastard, you made Ditzy CRY! Being trapped in a world of eldritch horror isn't enough punishment. :twilightangry2:

Oh hi Sunset :pinkiecrazy:


Admittedly, it's been a long while since I've had proper absinthe, and I honestly wasn't quite feeling up to giving it another go-round.

But, I stand by my writing, in that Pinkie Pie obviously added ALL THE SUGAR in her preparation.

All of it.

Him making a mess over there would be, in large part, Sunset Shimmer's and Princess Twilight's fault. Neither of them, from what we know, ever informed Flash Sentry as to the specifics of just why Princess Twilight wouldn't come back to at least tell him to his face how their romance has no future. He just got told he's too unimportant and was expected to move on.

Or perhaps a confrontation like that is needed, just so the poor guy can finally have some real closure. He deserves it.

Is absinthe a real kind of drink?

:facehoof: Fantastic. At least Flash is pretty much forced to clean up his own mess. Some of it, anyway; it's going to take a lot of delicate work to get past the whole "liquor cabinet" thing.

Also, fascinating to see the historical impact. I can understand keeping the information about the mirror world under wraps for national security if no diplomatic links could be forged, sad as it is. Though the ripples of this publication... Well, we'll see what happens.


Is absinthe a real kind of drink?

Yes. Yes it is

It is quite tasty too (in moderation); has a very unique sweet, herbal flavour

Someone gave them a random encounters table! Ha!

Presumably the summons are weaker than the real thing, though not much.

Sunset should beat up Flash some more. That's not getting old any time soon.

It tastes very strongly of anise. Also sugar, yes. Personally not my favorite.

Am I a bad person to think he deserves what he's going to go through now? :rainbowhuh:

I would say he deserves almost everything, but then karmic retribution seems to be an Area of Effect attack, so poor Sunset is going to be splashed despite her innocence regarding this whole affair.

Let's see if she can resiste the temptation of strangling our "hero" before it all ends.
You can also get absinthe without anise, which is actually the version I prefer.

“But now it's coming to life.” Sunset Shimmer said. “Great. Now we've just got to figure out who's got a magical Ogres and Oubliettes manual and a grudge.”

Human Carrot Top and/or Derpy. I imagine it's probably CT taking revenge for Derpy.

I get where all the hatred to Flash is coming from, but at least he won the game didn't he? The humans paid a high price for that victory...

“Wait. Somepony? What are you-- Oh. Oh no.

She's figured it out.

She led on, giving the house (and the authorities who'd crashed the party) a wide berth, moving with the stealthy ease of someone used to skirting the law. She wasn't quite on the level of, say, Special Agent Golden Harvest, but then again, few ponies were.

I would imagine, yes.

--only to plow my face straight into the polished stone.


“It's a safety feature Twilight-- Princess Twilight installed. We've been having issues on this side of the portal with stray magic, latching onto people. So Twilight put in some warding spells that activate whenever there's a threat-- something to prevent a magical catastrophe from getting to the other world.”

Ah. That, yeah.

As if on cue, I heard glass shatter somewhere behind me. I spun around in the booth, laying eyes upon-- well, a troll. Uglier than the dimension's normal inhabitants (which is saying something), the troll looked like nothing so much as white and blue gorilla, fashioned from chunks of dirty ice. As soon as it smashed through the door, it turned to bellow at the academic-looking sorts on the other side of the diner, sending them scrambling over their seats in a blind panic.

Oh boy.

--which is when the coffeepot shattered on the troll's craggy face.


One of the bookworms sitting near the door peeked over the top of his booth, then took a moment to adjust his cracked glasses. “Ice trolls take triple damage from heat-based attacks.” He said again, only slightly louder this time.

What did you do.

“Here!” The other one dug frantically through his backpack, then pulled out a battered hardback book, featuring a scantily-clad female human waving a sword at a fire-breathing dragon. “It's all in the Abomination Almanac!”

Monster Manual, got it.

And that's when the blood drained out of my face. “I think I know who you're talking about.”

Oh no...

Flash Sentry can be an ass, but he’s an ass that can singlehoofedly accidentally save the day.

I should imagine that this will end with (human!) Derpy and Carrot becoming both aware of Magic Pony Landtm and part of EqG's special forces. But not before thrashing (pony!)Flash.

“You don't?” Carrot Top blinked.

Not in the slightest.

“So if there's no laws, then the lovely Miss Top hasn't done anything illegal. Isn't that nice?” I smiled, smug in my armchair lawyering.


“Those are in a different expansion.” Carrot Top said, looking up at me with a rueful grin.

It worries me that they're in an expansion at all.

“Where did you-- you know what, nevermind! I've got a Tarresque to tame, and this book's going to show me exactly how to do it!”

Oh great, the Tarrasque. Even if we're going with the 5e version, which DOESN'T have Fuck You levels of regeneration and damage resistance, it's still a really big and dangerous thing.

Now, I'm no expert on magic, but I've seen more than my fair share of doomsday rituals, sometimes even from the “chained to the altar” perspective.

That reminds me, someone needs to poke Carabas with a stick with regards to his Sentry Papers story.

In any case, looks like Flash got to dodge those consequences of his actions that he didn't actually solve, and he indirectly saved Equestria again on top of that. Typical. And I'm genuinely unsure if I'm saying that with a smile or a scowl. (What? I don't easily forgive breaking Best Sophont's heart, regardless of her species.)

Still, another great entry in the series. Thank you for it.


It worries me that they're in an expansion at all.

Come now, what kind of D&D knockoff doesn't have twelve different kinds of evil outsiders trying tempt, corrupt, and/or consume mortal souls?


It’s more the lust part that worries me than the demon part. For them just get Paladins and Clerics.

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