A fine evening between friends. A stormy night. Can't use the car. A night in the hotel.
When Sunset and Fluttershy wake up, they discover something in their room. And the police downstairs.
They have to run. Away. Far away. Everything is against them. Run. Fast. Hide.
And maybe, just maybe, find out who is responsible.
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One entry every two three four weeks. Most likely.
---Amazing cover art by my incredibly talented friend KillJoyDraws! Go check her FB page!---
Love you all.
Bisous, Saga.
Chapters (4)
Wild guess: Sunset and Flutters will get together by fics. end. You got me intrigued. Let’s see how you do.
9321701
Haha, that would be the easy path wouldn't it?
But a lot of people know I don't take the easy paths...
I guess you'll have to wait and see...
OK
while it had very small mistakes here and there it was awesome I thoroughly enjoyed it. it was well paced. and it sets up gay loves.
cant wait to see the rest :D
9322169
Good. I like an author who’s aware.
Ponk is interested, Ponk will follow and wait for more
Nice to see it finally uploaded after hearing so much about it from you
Hey!! Did you miss me? I hope you did. If you didn't, do it right now. Miss me hard.
Weeeeeell, it's a very interesting start! As you know, I don't have the MLP references but it's nice to see Sunset's evolution. Honestly, I didn't really know what to think about the beginning, I wasn't that much hooked (and there are so many characters at the same time, it's a little confusing, I didn't really know who talked to who), but then the second part, with Sunset and Fluttershy, is really well written and drove me back into the chapter! As always, you write dialogues very well, the pace is entertaining, and I like "on-the-run" style stories, so count me in for the next chapters!
When ANYONE says this exact sentence, it’s going to blow up in their face.
Knowing stories like this. Probably.
9346476
Hey hey hey, what happened last time you tried to predict my scenario? :P
....... oh shit I mean I expected a dangerous crime but...... this...... a dead body.... dear god.
While I like that we're getting straight into it, I think this story needed a little bit more background on why SUnset would run from the cops. I GET the reasoning behind it, but it's always better to SHOW why than to TELL why. In this story, you told, when you should have shown. Maybe Sunset has a close call with a cop at the beginning of the story and gets nervous? Gives Sunsets feelings towards cops a bit more background before this moment so that it takes less explaining and feels more natural.
9347082
Hello again, and thank you for that extended constructive comment,
I get your point, I really do. And it's true, I could've done it this way. The two main reasons why I didn't are:
-To maintain the tension of this chapter and avoid an internal monologue from Sunset.
-To keep some meat on the bones concerning the rest of the story... And that I can't tell you yet ^^ But trust me, Sunset and Fluttershy will have some discussions about each other's paths and decisions.
Hope you'll continue enjoying the story, with that in mind!
By the by, how is the style (as in the writing) of this chapter? I'm asking because you seem like a smart boï :D
Bisous,
Saga.
9346625
Oh yeah, I'm hardcore like that. Gotta earn the "M" tag.
Seriously though, I hesitated for a while on 'what could they find', but I went with this for reasons you'll discover later ^^
9347757
I’ll read the chapter again later to check on the style, but as far as your rebuttal goes, I’ll just warn you that, as it is, The explanation about Sunset’s reasons for running really took me out of the story. In that moment, the reader’s supposed to feel tense and nervous, just like the characters, but this explanation breaks the immersion. See what I mean?
9347770
I do see what you mean, even though I wouldn't go as far as "breaking the immersion". I had some friends read the chapter before even posting it, and most of them understood Sunset's decision.
The thing is, and you might no have taken that into account, we know nothing about Sunset's years in the human world before EG1. So I've decided to include it in the later chapters. Maybe xD
If this decision reeeaaally threw you out of the story, I am sorry. But I do hope you'll enjoy the next entries, and possibly find an answer to your questions!
9347760
I mean I was gonna go with a bag of stolen goods. Like money or diamonds.
Hey SoyBoy!
What do you mean, "wrong pseudo"? Nah, don't think so!
Anyway, I really like your chapter! I didn't expect shit to get this real, this quickly! And although Sunset's decision not to tell anything yet to Fluttershy seems a little clichée to me (I mean, I get she doesn't want to make her freak out when they have very little time, but still...) the description of her gradual panic and anxiety is so well written! Nice job! One thing bothers me though: on a more... scientific analysis, as I put it, how come they didn't notice the smell of the corpse? I mean, I'm not constantly around *cough* the dead bodies of my enemies *cough* but cadavers are quickly noticed for this reason. Or maybe it's actually not dead, after all Sunset only saw it for a couple of seconds (but whoever the dude is, having a thing for sleeping in a box is pretty rare, in my opinion).
So, happy to discover more about Sunset, and I really look forward to see her and Fluttershy on the run now!
Hey, guess who?
Alright, alright, ALRIGHT! I finally take a look at that new story you make us and it sure is interesting! You actually remind me of a thing about sunset in the ECG movies, the situation about her identity in the eyes of the law. I suprised myself by not thinking about it earlier, but it's true that we never actually knew if she had some sort of paper or something or if she is constantly running from the authorities. It's quite dark if you think about it ^^'.
It's too soon to make any conclusions but, if you ask me, it's obvious that the culprit is Fluttershy. I mean, come on! I have read enough fic about her being a psychopath to know exatly where this story is going!
But i guess i have to wait for the next chapters to find more evidences to consolidate my theory.
Keep it up, i am eager to read the rest, even if i already know who is the mad soul behind this!
9368285
Hey again, long time no soy!
I'm sorry it took me around 7.68 years to answer your comment, I was torn between studies and my love for alcohol, and didn't find time to get back on the website.
Thank you for expressing your love! I too am a big fan of expressing my love, but I often end up in jail for "civil harassment lawsuits"... What does that even mean?!
Anyway, concerning your remarks:
First, it may be cliché, but given Fluttershy's personnality (i.e panicking over which dish to choose at the restaurant), I think Sunset's decision to keep her out of it in such a moment is quite rationnal. Yes, I am calling my own plotpoints "rationnal".
Second, for the odor...
Well, you see...
The thing about that is...
WOOF.
Have a nice day and see you soon!
Saga.
9401827
Oh is that an actual rich boï I see? Hello good sir!
Thank you for your support (don't forget to like, comment & subscribe for more spicy pranks)! I really enjoyed writing a darkest chapter, and believe me, if you like that tone, you'll enjoy the rest of the story (as soon as I'm out of my deep slumber caused by the combined effects of alcohol and shrimp-chocolate crackers)!
Concerning Fluttershy, you're close, but if you want a little hint... NO, NO AT ALL, WHY IN THE FRESH HELL YOU YOU THINK THAT YOU ABSOLUTE CHAD.
Have a nice day and see you around!
Saga.
Love it so far!
9548688
Haha thank you my man! Appreciate it! Loving you back <3
9548743
Honestly hope to see how they get out of this... and to clarify they saw a dead body correct?
9548745
They did.
OR WAS IT REALLY DEA- Yeah it was.
9548747
Figured. I'm assuming some time down the road they'll encounter the killer who tries to kill them.
I’m surprised Sunset didn’t have the foresight to discard the phones. Also, why not just use the portal? If you explain to Twilight what happened, she’ll be happy to hide them for the time being.
9548767
First, cops don't track your phones 4 hours after an incident unless you're already a wanted fugitive. I mean, that's the info I found online, but I consider it true enough for my small-scale fic.
For the portal, well CHS is kinda at the other side of the city, so unless RD was with them, they couldn't go really far. Mind you, she still has the diary, so more of that to come...
Hope you enjoyed the chapter!
Finally!!!
Man, I really wondered whether or not you still wanted to continue this story! (I mean, not really because I knew you had a lot of upcoming ideas, but still, it's been a while)
Anyway, I liked this chapter, especially because their escape is so realistic, in a way. Okay, they find open doors but it's "standard" luck, then take the bus, which is what anyone would probably do, and the fact that everyone suddenly try to call them to ask what's going on is very normal but strangely, few stories picture that when narrating characters on the run. One detail I really appreciated was how you described Fluttershy's powers! It's just so fun to visualize her asking for a shelter to the nearest bird, and sometimes having a talk with any animal at the zoo xD
Overall, I enjoy reading Sunset's point of view. Her thoughts about Twilight and Celestia are very natural, they don't disturb the pace of the story, and I liked her reaction when seeing that Fluttershy wouldn't abandon her. Look forward to seeing what happens next, and where they'll be heading!
Thanks for this chapter!! Mix and twist: duck confit and stracciatella.
I like this chapter, and I like the story as a whole. I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes.
9557224
Heeyyyyy, thank you man! Glad you like it and look forward for the next chapters!
Oh god.
sunset: FUCKING Caterpillar!
9652947
Yes?
9653598
This is about to get really intense
Hey there! Short chapter indeed but good anyway! I especially liked all the references to Alice in Wonderland ;) Special mention to the squirrel squad.
Oh and fucking Sunset fucking needs to fucking calm the fuck down. Fuck.
Wow, I really wonder how it will play out that that they are literally chased by the police in the woods...
9678297
And that's not accurate interpretation my man.
As VampDash clearly understood, "Yes?" wasn't a quirky response to the interjection "Oh God", but an interrogation about what triggered said interjection, to which he responded.
Please try to refrain from gratuitous comments like this one.
On that note, have a nice day,
Sagami.
good story so far thoe it feels a bit like its dancing around discussing the what happened
Aw it ended to quickly lol
Well! This one sure is getting my anxiety high! And I have to wonder why the girls would be framed for something like this.
Avengers Endgame reference
The guy who dies is gonna be the guy at the lobby, isn’t it?
Oh. Nevermind then.
Did i just get rick-rolled the very fist thing i read? Bruh!