• Member Since 30th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 22nd, 2014

Hazel Hooves


"And Clover the Clever raised the Hoof-Grenade up on high, saying:
"O Princess of the Sun, bless this thy Hoof Grenade that with it thou mayest bless thy enemies with the power of Harmony, in thy mercy."
And the Princess did grin..."

"Such were the words that captured the imagination of the young Britannia in this: the first volume in military journalist, Carbon Copy's Unauthorised Biography of the famous soldier and adventurer. For years the Equestrian public has thrilled to tales of her journeys to far off lands, the ancient and powerful artefacts she's recovered and the perilous missions she's undertaken in the name of Princess and Country.
But what of the Mare behind the Myth? What of her hopes and fears? Her trials and triumphs? and her loves and losses?

In this first short-story we are introduced to a side of Britannia that the general public may not be aware of: what she was like as a young filly, adventuring in far away Zebrica beside her explorer father, and how she was forced to come face to face with probably her greatest challenge: her destiny...

...Every legend starts somewhere."

-Quotation taken from the 1st ed. of Britannia: the Unauthorised Biography, Book 1: Britannia and the Holy Hoof-Grenade by Carbon Copy, military correspondent for the Canterlot Globe.

A fanfiction written in the style of an Equestrian biography of dubious credentials based on Britannia: the pony mascot for the Brony UK Convention. You may laugh, you may cry, you may be thrilled or, possibly, you may just be confused. It's probably because of all the British-ness. Just pour yourself a cup of tea, butter up some crumpets and enjoy.

Comments and critique are very much appreciated. I want to go somewhere with this.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 27 )

just seeing Britannia automagically makes me think of Code Geass


Have 20 Moustaches for being bucking awesome!



What am I going to do with all these moustaches? *starts distributing them among random passers-by*

Share the awesome :rainbowkiss:

I love your fanfic! :twilightsmile: Are you gonna write more about Britannia and Roary?


If I can get my headspace in order, yes. Though we're fast-forwarding ahead by about 10 years or so, Thanks for the positive vibes :pinkiehappy:

>>Hazel Hooves Ok, I'll be keeping an eye out. :yay:

You're welcome! :twilightsmile:

Dude, I haven't read this yet, but it's in the queue, and I would have read it anyway because of THAT TITLE! You are brilliant! I'll edit this after I've read it.

This godamn thing. This was a joy to read. If you write more, I'll read it without a pause.


Thanks for the encouragement.

The 2nd instalment is in my headspace at the moment and will be written once further water testing has taken place. There will be action, tragedy, perils, eighties-style club music, conspiracies and a terminal amount of guarding things... Oh well, being an Equestrian soldier can't all be glamour and adventure :P

Good heavens, ser, I haven't been this desperately hooked on a story since the last Sharpe novel came out.
Bravo, ser - masterfully done.

Oh man, this was awesome. The style of writing is unusual for a fanfic and really cool - I loved the "further reading" suggestions. Looking forward to the sequel :pinkiehappy:


Thanks. You muscled through the appendices. Have a cookie :pinkiehappy:

Is the title a pun of the Holy Hand-grenade from Monty Python?:rainbowlaugh:


I believe that was the original idea. Britty's character design was developed by the B.U.C.K convention for whom she's a mascot.
I've made some Monty Python as well as other British comedy references in the piece but it's not overwhelming.

Love those movies though :rainbowlaugh:


Thank you, the work of Bernard Cornwell has been an influence here. Though my work sadly contains a lesser degree of dastardly Frenchmen to confound.

Griffins on the other hoof, well, we will see :P


They're really good. My favourites are the Holy Grail and the Life of Brian.


I think Brian is the smarter of the two and my personal fave but Holy Grail has enough off-the-wall silly and endlessly quotable lines to make it a fun movie to keep revisiting (and annoy everybody by saying 'Ni!' randomly)


"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries! Now go away or I shall have to taunt you, a second time!"

One of my favourite lines.


I like to think that something similar to these lines were the rude words that Zeneela said in her own language in Part II of my fic. :twilightblush:


What? She said that Britannia's mother was a hamster and her father smelt of Elderberries? That doesn't seem like that bad of an insult. Welll, aside from the hamster thing. And the elderberries... you know what? Forget what I just said.:pinkiecrazy:

I've added an Alternative Universe tag. Read the blogpost 'Transcript Vignette' to get an idea why. Sorry if those kind of stories aren't your thing and you wanted to follow this story but I feel the artistic direction of this series kinda needed it. :rainbowderp:

:rainbowdetermined2: This'll get me in the mood for the BUCK fanfic contest!

I'm going to have to read this.
I'm not British, I was born and raised in California... Still wish I was from England.

I'll just leave this here:

With a mere 68 likes, this fic is so deplorably underrated that it's almost criminal.

As stated, woefully underrated. It deserves more appreciation.

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