• Member Since 26th Apr, 2016
  • offline last seen 42 minutes ago

Foal Star


Im like a Baby Discord with a crazy imagination

T

The events of this story take place after the episode Luna Eclipsed

Luna loved her first Nightmare Night. She had so much fun and was dissapointed that it came to an end. However she had a plan to see if she can stir things up by summoning the power of nightmares to trasform herself into a vampire and have more fun. But the Nightmare spread to Ponyville and now the town is trapped in a dimension where its always Nightmares Night. It'll be up to the mane 6 to find a way to save their town and to find Luna before its too late.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 31 )

Interesting read so far, keep it up.

♪♫ In this town, we call home, everybody hail to the pumpkin song! ♫♪ an old classic. Saw the title and couldn't help but think of that old movie.😆

What I am curious about is how do the others look? What is the fate of pip? With Vampire Luna?

What is the conflict? Is their a ticking time limit?


Will their be other monsters? Any ghosts? What will Fluttershy be? Flutterbat?

Rainbow Dash being a shadow bolt? Or something else? I am curious and looking forward to the next chapter, it looks like Twilight is lossing herself in the role she has become. I worry about Spike at moments he is normal Spike and others he seems like a cat, and did Twilight just call Spike Whiskers? I am worried, worried for the future.

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I mean I could just do an expediton dump but I like to spread that information through the course of the story.

Whoa! Definitely didn't expect such a massive impact on Ponyville but definitely super-ultra-mega creative. It also, as I think on it, has a show-like feel as the transformation and alterations are just sudden and meant to be learned about as the story unfolds as opposed to being ultra descriptive of how the mist did this and that. Knowing Luna went missing after her folly is also intriguing for it adds to the mystery.

Now the fun part in seeing how the rest of the Mane 6 have been impacted and what can be done to return Ponyville to normal.

Nice job! :)

9238361
I know, right? I'm contemplating cutting off an old story after reaching a certain point and starting fresh with a new book, but I fear an exposition dump to summarize relevant details from the old story would cause issues.

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What I do with sequels referring to previous stories is give context through dialouge referring to previous events. That way it feels natural and can give enough information without making the story feel stagnant.

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That's going to be a bit of a challenge with some of the stuff being the main protagonist's abilities from the cross over series(D&D, highly custom. People won't be familiar with the specifics.), but with enough time mentally chewing on the problem I suppose I can figure some things out.

Frick yeah a Halloween story. I already love it, With the just beautiful descriptions of the scenery as its been warped into its new form and how the spell seems to be altering Twilight's mental state to become her new role. this is just awesome and really creative. I can't wait to read more.

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that makes sense. I am happy to know that things will be worked on over time.

And that hopefully the questions I raised will be answered as time goes by.

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I planned this story out for most of October trust me I jave a answer for every one of your questions.

“Thou shall take you up on that offer. But thou must take thine leave.”

“you shall take you up on that offer, but you must take your leave”

maybe try “we shall take thou up on thy offer, but we must take our leave” if you’re looking for that old canterlot style. honestly my look at luna’s dialogue so far sees much for improvement in regards to making it sound like how she spoke in the episode.

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Yeah I dont understand Old english. I tried but im not sure how to do that exactlly

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well as a note: "Thou" and "Thy" are not "I," they are "you" and "your"
if anything, use plural 1st person for her, the royal "we"

Massive pop culture horror references incoming. IT, Friday the 13th, Children of the Corn and more

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I also placed a few gothic horror Refrences as well.

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Frankenstein, obviously, was one (the doctor as is true to the story not the monster). I'm not well enough versed in horror to identify any more than i named, that or I missed the reference

woot! new chapter, didn't even know this had updated when I checked on it. love seeing more of the town and how its changing. though it is interesting how some people seem to have been completely mentally changed by the spell, some aren't effected at all, and then we have twilight who is being altered by it. wonder why some people seem immune.

Another interesting chapter, keep up the good work.

This just keeps getting better-and-better! A very nice follow-up to the introduction chapter along with, to me, elements that could really pass as a Halloween / Nightmare Nights episode of pony. *Applause* Bravo!

<LoL!> I think you made Bon-Bon into Jason Vorhees. If so, nice!

Favorite character from here is Apple Bloom. The whole blank expression and 'will of the corn' and 'glory of the corn' is too cool!

I see the ponis falling quickly into their roles

I think I have already confessed my love fore this Macabre story so I will just say the Designs for this chapter were great and I can't wait to see Carousel Boutique. also hope we get all of their new names beyond Jackie lantern.

Certainly pure genius here! You truly have grown so much as a writer since we first met. This tale is just so much fun to read as you give us little tastes of various Halloween-themes but all in the playful nature that is MLP: FiM.

<LoL!> Scootaloo as a crow and Dash as Death. That's quite a pairing! I really like when Dash revealed herself to Twilight, too. It was so in Dash form.

Still loving Apple Bloom as the follower of the corn. It makes me smile each time I hear her in her corn worship.

What will have become of Sweetie Belle? That should be fun.

Oh! I came to hear of this much later but did Spider Fluttershy come from that pose in Season 5 when she was spying on Starlight?

No worries in how long it took to get here. What matters is that you did and it was, as all chapters prior, a lot of fun to read. :)

Always the perfect blend of horror and silliness. The visual I got from Sweetie Belle as a hunch back and Octavia a ghoulish organist was quite fun.

Glad that Scoots is still a bothersome bird and Apple Bloom is keeping to being the corniest guest at the party.

Applejack's head fire was really cool, too! I wonder if scoots would now think twice before trying to have at her pumpkin-head?

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Your comments are just full of life and interesting insight. thank you for reading.

*Applause* I so enjoyed the fact you made Pinkie into Jigsaw! It made such logical sense given the current series of events and her personality. The way you toned it down for the show purposes was even better. I definitely appreciate the idea and could easily see her doing a great Jigsaw either playfully, or in the unfriendly way.

Seems we now have every pony together. Now it is only a matter of getting back before Nightmare Moon puts a stop to ending the nightmare.

It will be interesting to find out what Celestia thinks of all these shananigans. She'll probably give Luna a pass for how long she had been away but, like the mirror pool, I see the well being sealed off both with many rocks and a grand spell that is neigh impossible to break.

Well it was an interesting read, keep it up.

Oh, wow! I had no idea that dress was brought from potential canon! How awesome! Was it initially meant for Luna?

This story was truly an epic adventure that went with, in my opinion, the spirit of the show. The pacing was fast but that's how the show itself works. Things just keep going on at a strong clip until it is over. Not too much time spent on one particular moment beyond ensuring it is relevant towards the story and/or fun little reference / call out.

My favorite character in this is, hooves down, Apple Bloom. The Pony Of The Corn was just too good! Scoot is a close second as she cawed 'Scoot!' and still managed to be a tag-a-long for RD.

Lots of fun in a colorful tale. Definitely one of your best works.

Extra points for finishing between Halloween and Christmas. You truly created a 'Nightmare Before Christmas'. :)

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