• Member Since 17th Sep, 2018
  • offline last seen May 28th, 2020

Xenont


JuSt a DEmOn RoAmInG thE WeB :)

E

This story is a sequel to Recovering


Gilda tries to take it out on Rainbow again. But with six friends on her side, Gilda would need to bring in company to make it a fair fight. Right?

Thanks to Waspinator331 who suggested I write this!😀

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 18 )

My only complaint is that the structure is very poor. You need a new paragraph each time someone speaks.

Also, the way the dialog was written was hella wack. It has to be like this:

"Crash, you can bring your whole squad. I'll box them all," Gilda threatened confidently.

Otherwise, it just looks weird.
Go back through it for typos, I saw a few. I know writing stories on a mobile device is weird, but if I can do it properly, so can you.

The story itself is good, I can see this being an episode. I'll still give it an A for effort.

Shouldn’t I get at least a little bit of credit considering that I’m the one who gave you this idea?

"Don't you worry Rainbow, we'll make sure that Gilda doesn't touch ya." Applejack said as she slung her hand around Rainbow. "Noe come on! Let's go face this 'Gilda'."

It should be 'now' not 'noe'

9232097
Oh yeah. I actually did but I forgot to save after editing, sorry!!!:twilightsheepish:. Thanks for pointing it out though.

Here you go, done.

There is something wrong with me in that as soon as I saw “this time would be different”, the first response that came to mind was “It’s not different at all is it Steve?”

very love story i need read last one so im confustion but you are very good and i gave it 1 like!

Can I make a different ending to this?! Also HOW DO YOU WRITE STORIES?! I have been wanting to start typing up my own stories (I HAVE REALLY COOL IDEAS FOR SUNSET) but I just don't know how to even start. Mind telling me how?

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