Anon II: The Second Part

by 23 KM To Nerdiness

Chapter 7: "Fun" Times

It's been about three days after the gala and you and your bros are currently joining the Dude and his bros on their weekly bowling time.

"So you finally asked her out, amigo?"

"Not.....quite, Dude. But I did get to dance with her. At least I got there."

"That's my main Man!" Dude exclaims patting your back. "You'll get her next time, just gotta goooo with the flow."

"Taught him-URRGH, everything he knows!" Spike grunts trying to lift his bowling ball to his lane.

"Your back. Spike, lift with your back." you instruct.

"It's KINDA hard- URRH, to lift with your back while you're- GRRR, flapping your wings to DUST!!!"

"Come on bro, it's not THAT hard. Tell him Big Mac."

The country stallion chucks his ball down his lane with ease, showing those pins who's boss with a loud STRIKE. "EEYUP!!!" he bellows, triumphantly hoof pumping.

*THUD*

The poor dragon's ball rolls toward the pins at almost -5 mph as it SLOOOOOOWLY knocks three of 'em down. "Yes! THREE pins, that's a new record!!!"

[You know what....I'mma just let him have it.]

"Number 18, ready for pickup!" the intercom chimes.

"Oop, that's us. I got it, guys."

You head to the 'Chow Corner' as Dude calls it, and grab the 'eats'. For a group of buff stallions, minus Donny, they sure do EAT a buck ton of shit. Suddenly, as you head back to the guys, something rings.

Kinda like a phone...

It seems to be a banana on the tray's the source as it bounces and vibrates about to the ringing. You pick up the banana-phone thingy and hesitantly lean in. "H-Hello?"

"YeS, iz AniTa BAth tHerE?"

"Anita Bath?" you ask.

"Y0u sUre DO!"

The banana leaps out of your grip, its height rapidly overshadowing you, and rots as it splits open, revealing a peeved Discord.

"THat LITTLE peRforManCe of yoUrs trUly STuNK." he hisses.

"What the , Discord? Do you ALWAYS have to make extravagantly odd entrances like that?" you sigh.

"DoN't chAnGe tHe suBjecT. YoU aLmosT hAd it. WhAt ab0ut Ur tRaiNinG?!"

"Big Mac was right, I just needed to be myself. Isn't that right, bro?"

*STRIKE*

"EEYUP!!!"

"MuSt saY, y0u hUmanS haVe an....inTereStinG wAy oF DanCing, by tHe WaY."

At that moment, Spike visibly cringes.

"W-Whoa whoa whoa, wait." you stutter. "You guys were WATCHING us?!"

Your 'bros' trying and failing to hide guilty eyes confirms it.

"Who ELSE saw?!"

"WeLL leT's sEe: FluTtersHy, TwiLigHt, PinKie PiE......eVery0ne."

"Did the Crusaders see?"

"Every. Second." Spike says in defeat.

Your heart sinks faster than the Titanic. The thought of those adorable monsters smashing the 'I told you so' button full force makes your rectum clench in fear. And Big Mac's 'You're in trouble' face was NOT helping.

"Ugh, now I gotta go into hiding." you groan. "And I would've gone stress-free if it wasn't for you meddling 'bros', and that crazy draconequus too!"

"Oh FiNe, i'LL jUst gO tHeN. I knOw wHen I,M nOt wAntEd." the spirit of chaos huffs with a frown. "By thE wAy, drAmaTic enTranCes aRe cOol AnD U kNow iT."

Discord's arms detach from his body, molds his body up into a chaotic ball with his goofy face on it and chucks it down a lane, earning a strike. His floating arms fist pump before poofing away.

Well then....

"It's been great hanging with ya Dude, guys. Really wish I could stay but I gotta go....lay low for awhile."

"Be safe out there, mi compadre." the chill stallion nods.

"Oh, Dude." you stop. "I've been meaning to ask but, what does your cutie mark mean? What's with the rug?"

"Hmm, it's a long story, Man." Dude chuckles. "Let's just say it involved some kook with lemonade."

"Hehe, might wanna watch out for your carpet, Anon." Donny snickers.

Walt trots over and smacks the skinny stallion in the back of the head. "Shut the buck up, Donny." he growls.

"Catch ya on the flip side, my Man."

You grab your things and dash out the door.

"Anon, what about Big Mac?!" Spike calls out trying to catch up with you.

*STRIKE*

"WOOHOOOOO!!!"

"He'll be fine, let's get outta here!"

And off you two left.

"The Don abides..."

"SHUT THE BUCK UP DONNY, YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT!!!"

---

Stealth missions.

Gotta love to absolutely HATE them.

Who knew that they could be just as, if not MORE stressful in real life than in game form? And you're trying to hide from a group of little GIRLS!

Eh, maybe Button Mash would know...

*insert 'You got roasted' meme here*

Shade-throwing aside, you sneak around town to reach home base. With Spike, it's smooth sailing with his small stature. You on the other hand/hoof, are as sneaky and subtle as a buck to the face.

Curse you human height!

No matter, you just need to reach that barrel of apples HALF your size. Gathering ALL your agility and raw awesomeness, you leap....

And land sprawled out on the ground.

HE STICKS THE LANDING FLOP!!!

Well done, Anon. You've made it an entire FOOT towards the castle! Only 100-and-something feet left to go. You'll totally make it at this pace. Right now, you need to-

"There he is!"

Achievement unlocked 🏆:

'Well, You're Screwed'.

I think you just sharted...

"Anon, RUN!"

Heeding your bro's words, you take off without a second thought, vowing NEVER to look back. The sound of tiny, running hooves slowly growing louder kicks you into high gear. But why worry, they're not getting anywhere with those wee little hooves.

"Just give up! You'll never catch thi-WOAH!"

There, something snags you by the ankles, tripping you...

It's a jump rope!

"Got 'em!" AppleBloom says.

Before you could tear away the jump rope tangled to your legs, the three pony predators tackle you back down giggling.

"Bro, help!"

The heroic dragon charges to your rescue, valiantly flying over the four of you and taking off down the ro-

DAFUQ?!?!

"Spike, come back!" you wail.

"Sorry, bro! I can't attack girls!" he hollers back, hauling tail toward the castle.

"COWAAAAAAARD!!!"

Using all your strength, you stagger to your feet as the three fillies freak out like a bunch of fangirls crawling all over your body. Sweetie Belle's glued to your arm squealing 'OMC' over and over, AppleBloom's clinging to your leg DEMANDING to be the flowerfilly for your wedding and Scootaloo's begging you to postpone it til she's been of flying age and perform a sonic rainboom during the ceremony, all the while the three pulling the whole 'sitting in a tree' chant shit.

[Okay, that's enough.]

You shake the flailing girls off of your limbs and drop them on their backs. "Look, we are not dating! It's totally-"

"Hayfeathers, Anon!" AB laughs.

"We're SURE this time you're a perfect match!" Scootaloo adds.

Sweetie Belle clings to your leg. "Would you prefer a vanilla or chocolate cake?"

"Ooh, chocolate sounds like the perfect choi- I-I MEAN, IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!" you stutter. "You girls are reading too deeply into this. I just think Starlight is a good friend, nothing more despite her charming personality, fun nature and radiant beau-"

You pause as the three stare at you wide-eyed.

"-ty......"

"..."

"..."

[Crap...]

"Um...I-I can explain thi-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!! CUTIE MARK CRUSADER WEDDING PLANNERS, WOOOOOO!!!"

Before you could utter another word, the Crusaders hop away down the road in a squeeing frenzy, babbling about how Starlight's dress'll look.

Shippers.

Still. The bucking. WORST.

Opportunity open, you skidaddle on to the base.

Stealth: 2.5/10
Time: 9 minutes, 15 seconds
Final Score: 6
Overall: F---

Don't worry, we'll get 'em next time...

No we won't.

---

"Now if I add a fourth bow to each string, that SHOULD keep 'em outta the bushes."

That evening, as Glimmy examines her 'precious' kites from every single angle imaginable in the castle library, you're looking on, knee DEEP in awkward thought.

"Okay, I think I worked out the kinks in the kite's drag and weight so if the wind is JUST right tomorrow, this baby will soar perfectly! Whataya think? Anon?"

"Huh? O-Oh, sounds great, Star. Looks.....soarable."

"Anon, is there something wrong?"

"N-No no, I'm good. Just.....think I'm still recovering from all that chocolate."

"Well, I TOLD ya not to mix fudge with mini cakes and whatever fancy sweets there." she laughs.

"You HAVE to admit, that grey stuff was delicious."

[Don't believe us, ask the snobby bitches.]

"Whatever you say, Anon. Just let Nurse Glimmer work her magic.

The unicorn's light blue aura carries you to a couch and lays you right beside her.

[Helloooooooo Nurse!]

"So, what's my prescription, doc?" you snicker.

"Hmmmm, maybe two of these every minute."

Glim Glam leans against your side and rubs your stomach tenderly.

"Umm, what are you doing?"

"Flutter Tip #541: 'Tummy rubs get rid of tummy stubs'." she says matter of factly. "Huh, I can't believe I remember that."

"Fluttershy has her own tips, eh?"

"Yup. Like 'Open the door for friends and more', 'Teamwork makes the dream work'-"

"Lemme guess, 'Fish are friends, not food'?"

"Tip #146. How'd you know?"

"Um......lucky guess? I'm just wondering who gives their friends 'tummy rubs'?"

"Wellllll..."

"Other than YOU." you sigh.

"I don't know. I think most of 'em involve animals."

You turn to her with a quizzical look.

"Oop, n-not that I'm saying you're an animal or anything! I-I just thought that-"

You grab the sheepish mare and lay her back on your lap and scratch her soft, pink belly. "It's MY job to rub my animal friend."

"Who are you calling an anim- uhhhhh..."

"You were saying?"

The look of bliss in your pal's eyes gets a snicker out of you.

"A l........l-little higher."

"As you wish."

Star curls up on your legs and rests against your stomach. "Mmm, this is better than the ear scratches..." she moans.

"Is that so?"

"Y-Yes, it.....it-"

"Star?"

"Zzzzzzzzzz...."

[Augh, not AGAIN!!!]

Yup. She's out cold...

AGAIN.

Dude, you could make some SERIOUS money outta this. Some sort of 'affection therapy' if you will....

Nah. Sounds like it's been completely done before.

But. Must. Not. Disturb. So. Bucking. ADORABLE!!!

Despite your best efforts, the unconscious pony's peaceful slumber proves to be rather contagious as you began to feel drowsy. You figured 'what the hay', readjust the two of you on the couch and snuggle up with your pony pal. Starlight rests her hooves around you as you two drift off to dreamland, hopefully without Moonbutt stalking you both...

Creep.

---

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

Why'd you use colored dialogue in the first place?

[23 KM To Nerdiness]

9479176
I honestly can't remember. Guess back then I thought no one would know who was the one talking or something back then. 🙃

[jrock117]

9488241
Nah, man, you're good. I should've remembered from the last time, but my brain must've blocked it out.

[jrock117]

The Starlight snuggles fuel me.

Real though, you write a cute as hell Starlight.

[23 KM To Nerdiness]

9489713
I try. 😅

[Noobblue]

Excellent take on the first person writing. I appreciate this style of whimsical writing, as I don't see it very often. Very cute, good story. Keep up the good work.

[23 KM To Nerdiness]

9489969
Will do, thanks. 😁😊

[Rikki]

Stealth: 2.5/10 Time: 9 minutes, 15 seconds Final Score: 6 Overall: F---

Wasted.

[TheHardie-Boy]

"The Don abides..."

Preach, bro! That alone earns you a pass within this chapter!