• Member Since 17th Sep, 2018
  • offline last seen Saturday

Coolzzzzz


I'm 13 this year and writing stories has always been something I enjoyed, and I hope you enjoy reading my stories too!

Sequels1

E

When Sunset discovers that Rainbow Dash has been trying to hide the fact that she was being bullied, Sunset feels that she should take on responsibility of the matter, until things go out of hand.....

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 30 )

What do you guys think? feel free to leave some suggestion!

And is it just me, or can you not see the ratings for the story?

9224084
yeah, why? But I can still click on the 'like' or 'dislike'

9224084
When I'm logged in I see ratings for my stories, but when I'm away I don't see them.
Weird? :-P

Dang. Gilda is so mean. Hope she pays dearly for that!!!

And yay Sunset for standing up for Dash!!!

9224529
glad u liked it!😀

As a bullying story it is a bit cliche. Gilda is very two dimensional and not compelling in the slightest. It is still well written. I'm going to read the squeal now.

Why does Gilda always have to be a brutal vicious thug?
The worst she ever did was to yell at Fluttershy.

9226550
Honestly. This should have been Lightning Dust.

9226641
Wrong.
It would even more out of character.

9226846
She endangered several of her own cadets and five national heroes during tryouts and used a little filly along with not giving a shit if she died or not. So you're right. Lightning would go more for the abusive girlfriend angle.

9226850
Completely wrong again.
And I have no intention to discuss that with you.

9226874
Because you know it's actually correct but you're being an apologist. It's fine I get it.

See ya.

9227011
Not even remotely correct.
Dusty is neither a bully nor abusive.
Ron the Death Eater sends his regards.

9227081
Wow. You are completely blind to what she did in the show aren't you?

9228127
No, I just don´t villainize her.
By the way, she never blew up a building or almost drowned one of her students or started a war or brainwashed ponies or poisoned them.
In other words, Dusty is not worse than the Mane 6 and can be easily redeemed.

And I also don´t villainize Gilda.
The character that actually appears in this story.

9226550
I don't know how else to use or write about, sorry😅

9228228
Maybe you should create a new character.
And I also don´t think that Dashie would just lay down and let somebody beat her up.
That girl was ready to stand up against demons.

9228237
Well, just take it as she is too tired to deal with the situation right then, okay?

9228214
Ignoring that most of those were either not done on purpose or we're something they immensely regretted later on while Lightning Dust didn't seem to give a damn either way about her actions. Don't try this you apologist. If anyone here is not worth redeeming it's the Pegasus who's a borderline sociopath.

9228455
Wrong once more.
Especially Rainbow has done worse things than her and is still a great pony.
If anypony is worth redeeming it is Dusty.
I suggest that you stop your petty Anti-Lightning-Crusade now.

9228894
It's just the truth. You're the one that's in this apologist, denial attitude and acting a tool about the whole thing.

9228897
No, it´s not the truth.
The only tool in denial is you.
Can we stop now or do you want to spam until eternity?

9228372
As you wish.
It is your story.

Good idea, key flaw. WHEN A NEW CHARACTER STARTS SPEAKING, START A NEW PARAGRAPH Else, we can't tell who is speaking. Here;

"Leave me alone...." Rainbow managed to plead before Gilda launched a fist at her face, her blood mixing with her tears as she fell limply towards the ground. "Oh Dash, since you look so pathetic, I'll let you live today. But remember, I'll be back tomorrow!"

This should read:

"Leave me alone...." Rainbow managed to plead before Gilda launched a fist at her face, her blood mixing with her tears as she fell limply towards the ground.

"Oh Dash, since you look so pathetic, I'll let you live today. But remember, I'll be back tomorrow!"

The second version is a lot easier to read.

9232619
Okay okay. That's what everyone keeps sayin. I'm working on it.

9232645
were the subsequent chapters any better?

9232648
I haven't got round to reading those yet.

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