• Member Since 11th Mar, 2017
  • offline last seen December 3rd


Just another pony who loves writing about humans


Princess Twilight Sparkle always told Rarity they would be immortal together. But nothing is permanent...

This fic is based on the cover art, originally made for an art class.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 8 )

What font is that on the cover?

Princess Twilight Sparkle always told Rarity they would immortal together. But nothing is permanent

"would immortal together"

I feel like I'm missing many things here.

Ok mini review time, first off decent concept there is only one problem.
There is no explanation for what is happening, what the blender is, why it’s after them, any of that.
It’s a solid idea, but there are many holes in the story that even tiny excerpt segments could explain without giving too much away.

It felt like it needed to be longer, with more elaboration or descriptive writing.
Work on this one a bit more, it has potential.

Glen Gorewood

Handwritten (with a drawing tablet -- specifically, the Calligraphy tool in Inkscape and a shaky hand) with a lot of effects layered on after in Krita.


I was going for a... dream-like quality? It's about Rarity's nightmares (or are they nightmares?) and corresponding descent into insanity. Maybe this is not a satisfying answer but: there isn't an explanation for what's happening other than a tormented sleep and an anxious imagination, the blender isn't real, nothing is after them, hence the Random tag. It's a bit more experimental than I usually write; I recognize its fault as a 'work of literature', although given my unorthodox goal (write a Raritwi nightmare), I'm okay with how it turned out.

Just add some more descriptions and clarify scene transitions and you will be good then.
If a nightmare to insanity is what you are going for, lack of scene transitions and descriptions are what is making it difficult to understand.

Glen Gorewood

Alright, I see what you mean. I'll keep that in mind if I write something like this in the future. Thank you :)

No problem, and I look forward to your future works.

Glen Gorewood

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