Onii-Chan's Interesting Life

by MrWriterWriter

First Date, Pt1.

"Ah still don't see why we all gotta stay home." Applejack muttered, watching Spike shave. She still had doubts about this whole 'date' brouhaha.

"Yeah, what if it's not even the real Miss Luna who asked you?" Rainbow chimed in. "What if 'she's some kinda evil, slime-spewing, bug-eyed monster here to take everything over!?"

His gaze landed on the blonde first. "Because, we'll be going to a couple of places that you lot are too young to go to. And Rainbow, you've been reading WAY too many 'Planet of the Morphman Monsters' comics."

"It's a perfectly valid complaint." Rainbow pouted.

"Will you two relax? Celestia'll be here with you, and from the way you all perked up at that, it's safe to say she'll be a lot more pleasant than...well, you know who."

"SHHHHH! We dareth not speakth yon name!" Pinkie cried out in a gravely voice...before having a coughing fit from it.

"Uh, right. Look, my point is, nothing bad is gonna happen. Heck, time'll probably fly by while we're gone; and that does not mean taping your watch to a paper airplane."

"It still worked!" The three girls replied in unison.

Spike hurried to get finished and dressed in time. He wasn't exactly sure when they'd be there, but they said they'd try to arrive by seven. "Ok, I want all of you to be good and listen to Celestia while I'm gone, ok?"

"Ok, Onii-chan." The girls all said in unison ("Still say check her for antennae." Rainbow muttered). He gave them all a quick kiss on the forehead and looked as the ponies all grouped up on the couch.

"Don't worry, Spike, we'll help keep an eye on things." 'pony'Twilight spoke up, getting noises of confirmation from the others.

"Thanks, Twi." He grinned and gave her a scratch behind the ears, just in time to hear the doorbell.

"Scatter!" 'pony'Sunset called out, every equine bolting under or behind a piece of furniture as he head to the door.

"Heeyyyyyyammama!" Celestia grinned when she spied him, getting an elbow from Luna in return.

"Sorry about the wait, wanted to be sure we made a good first impression." Luna chuckled, biting her lip slightly when she gave him the once-over.

"Heh, well...um..." He faltered a bit as he tried to think of something to say.

Thankfully, Luna came to the rescue. "Ok, well, we should probably get going. Hey, girls!" She smiled to the bunch, adjusting her coat as she did. "Some of you probably already know Celestia, so intros aren't fully necessary. Have fun, Sis!"

"Remember, it's a weekend, so you can stay up till eleven, but tha'ts it!" Spike called out as he got dragged off to Luna's car.

Celestia watched as they got in and started pulling out of the driveway before closing the door. Soon as it shut, she pulled her phone out. "You girls up for takeout? I have a craving for some spring rolls and wonton soup."

---

"Hope they'll be ok." Spike said as the house vanished around the turn and Luna pulled out onto the main road.

"Ah, don't worry. If it's one thing Tia's good at, it's handling kids." Luna waved his fear off. "Besides, you should see her when there's frosted donuts at the break room."

"Actually I was referring to Celestia." Spike replied. "The girls kind of had mixed feeling about me going on a date. heh, Rarinbow's sort of convinced you're some bug-eyed monster pretending to be Luna."

Luna fought hard, but invariably lost to the the gigglefit from that . "A 'Morphman Monster' fan, I take? I have the whole series." The giggles increased at the look he gave her. "Whaat? *gigglesnort* I love corny sci-fi stories."

Spike just rolled his eyes a little. "Gimmie a good horror comic any day. Used to get 'Spiral Town Stories' before it got canceled."

Luna blew a raspberry in response. "Spiral Town? Please! Get some 'Tomie's Tales', sleep'll be the last thing on your mind after a couple of those!"

"Hey, don't knock the Town! The Jiggers the Juggler issue is why I'll have a bat in my hand before I EVER get near a clown."

The pair continued their literature discussion as they made their way into town, finally pulling into the parking lot of a restaurant Spike recognized. "The 'Delfino Cascade'? Didn't this place just open up a couple weeks ago?"

"Yeah. Granted, the name sound's pretty snobby, but I heard they have awesome lobster ravioli." She said as they got out.

"Really? Never had lobster myself."

"Then we're both in for a treat." They both headed inside. The restaurant itself was slightly empty, but the people that were there seemed to be enjoying things. "Looks nice."

"And no reservations, too." Spike added. "My kind of-" The rest of his sentence was lost when she took her coat off, revealing the small, cross-strapped black dress she had on. The material hugged her curves, and showed off a considerable amount of leg as well.

"Hm?" She grinned and playfully stuck her tongue out at the look he had. "Wanted to make a good first impression." She said. "Looks like I succeeded."

"I-I'll say!" Spike said to himself, forcing himself to not stare while he followed her to a table. As he did, he noticed a few guys looking his way with envy. He just gave them a 'i'm surprised, too' shrug. 'Wonder if the girls are in for a surprise like me.'

---

"...so I tell her, 'Madam...and I use that term oh SO very loosely, that petrified muskrat on your cabasa shows you wouldn't know class if it danced up in a flamenco outfit and stuffed a twinkie up your nose!'" Celestia finished her tale as the delivery guy left their order on the kitchen table, to numerous laughing girls. "Unfortunately, her reaction is kind of the reason I'm not allowed in that waffle house anymore. But! In my defense, no one ever told me a fountain drink machine could geyser like that."

"Part of me wants to ask how...but I'm really afraid to ask." Scootaloo piped up.

"Was kinda majestic in a way." Celestia pulled out containers. "Ok...Fluttershy: veggie egg rolls. Applejack and Bloom: hot and sour soup. Pinkie: shrimp fried rice...."

After a few minutes, all the food had been parsed out, and they were all chowing down.

"Eep! Hot! Hot! Thour, too!"

"It said it right in the name, Sis!" Apple Bloom said, watching the blonde chug her apple juice to try and clear the heat.

"URP!"

"REALLY, Rainbow!" Rarity reeled from the belch, "Show some man-BRAAAP!"

"Wow, you hit the high note with that, Rarity!" Pinkie giggled, patting the furiously blushing girl on the shoulder.

"UURRRAAAHHHHAA..!" Celestia patted her chest. "Whew, those rolls got some kick to them!"

When the others looked in surprise at the sheer volume, Sunset and Rainbow responded with golf claps.

"Say, you would happen to have any soy sauce, would you?" She sifted through the seasoning packs, "Looks out we're out here."

"In the fridge I...I think." Fluttershy said. "Onii-chan likes to put it on his burgers."

"Cool. Hope it's the strong stuff." Celestia headed over and started examining the contents. "Block of chedder, pesto, irish cream...cool, black garlic! Here it is!" She pulled out the small bottle and was about to head back to the table when something small, and pink, appeared out of the corner of her eye. "That's weird." She said, checking out the little toy pony sitting on the counter. "Where'd that come from? Hey, girls? Any of you leave a stuffed horse on the counter?"

"What do you mean?" Twilight responded.

"Ah got all my stuff upstairs." Applejack replied.

"Well, unless it's Spike's, there's a pink toy horse here." She turned back to give it a look, not really hearing when one asked 'she say pink horse??'. "Hm, must've been expensive. Actually looks life..."

Did it....did it just....blink?

"Hi!"

"WAAHAHA! IT MOVED!" Celestia screamed, falling over in shock.

"Wahaha! It moved!" 'pony'Pinkie Pie topped over in laughter.

Celestia just stared up in a mix of alarm, surprise, and bowel-loosening terror while the pint-sized equine looked over the edge at her and waved a tiny hoof. "Hi!"

"Pinkie! Are you out of your mind!" A voice that sounded strangely like Rainbow, but older, yelled out, followed by an equally small, blue pony flying down. "What in Celestia - not you -" She pointed at the still gobsmacked woman, "...possessed you to do that!?"

"Huy...hee...hooa..." Celestia replied as best she could.

"I vote Sunset and Twilight explaining this!" Sweetie spoke up.

Comments

[Anon E Moose]

"Hm?" She grinned and playfully stuck her tongue out at the look he had. "Wanted to make a good first impression." She said. "Looks like I succeeded."

Quite

"I vote Sunset and Twilight explaining this!" Sweetie spoke up.

Sweetie always the smart one

[DarkDMan]

I don't know where this story is going, but I love the ride!
Please continue!

[LEGION55]

HA!!!!!

[CroisSunnyPlay]

9694285
Seconded.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Unfortunately, her reaction is kind of the reason I'm not allowed in that waffle house anymore. But! In my defense, no one ever told me a fountain drink machine could geyser like that.

Any story that ends like this is a good story.

And so the ruse collapses. This is going to be wonderfully awkward. And Spike's none the wiser, poor fool.