Chapter 1
Captain Twilight Sparkle shifted uneasily in the confines of her insulated sleeper suit. She could feel the fabric pressing down on her coat, constricting her movement. It’s alright. Once I go into hibernation, I won’t be feeling anything.
She pushed off gently from the back of the elevator, then used only an occasional flap of her wings to keep her moving through cryogenics. She passed five other pods, each of which was already occupied, and had been for weeks. There was no way to look inside, but the glowing name she saw on each screen was enough of a reminder that she wasn’t really alone.
Geologist, Pinkie Pie said the first of the screens, along with the crewmare’s cutie mark. Heart rate .01 BPM. Lifesigns nominal. So went all the others, each one shining a friendly green. Cryogenics were a testing field of thaumic science now—not at all the shotgun in the dark of spellcraft that had sent the Crystal Empire spiraling forward in time. But fundamentally, the theory was the same. And equally secure.
Twilight’s own pod waited in back, its mechanisms open and exposed. The cot within had been pulled out, along with the intricate series of enchanted crystals, plastic tubes, and flashing circuitry.
But that wasn’t what she cared to see. No, she was far more interested in the dragon sitting beside it.
Second Officer Spike wore no compression suit, only plain fabric with a belt holding his various tools. He clutched a tablet in front of him, and seemed to be studying its contents intently. He looked up as Twilight approached, eyes widening with joy at seeing her. “You finished your goodbyes, Captain?”
Twilight grinned stupidly at the title. It was either that, or let him see her pain. “You don’t have to call me that.”
“Do now,” he said, rising to his claws and saluting. “We’re Equestria’s best. They’ll be watching the holovids of this for centuries. You know they’ll watch this part.” He pointed sideways, towards the large display above the last pod. There was a camera built into the screen, even if it was too small for Twilight to see. And Spike was probably right.
“The little colts and fillies watching this shouldn’t think we’re not real ponies, Spike. It doesn’t matter how important our mission is.” She reached out, pulling him close to her with a wing. It wasn’t easy, not with the wrap thoroughly covering her feathers. But she stretched against the spandex, and he seemed to get the message. She held him there for a few seconds, as tightly as she’d held her brother back in Equestria. “What about you? Last chance to change your mind.”
Spike laughed, though there was something of nervousness to it. “You’ve got one escape pod, Captain. You really offering to give it to me?” His voice cracked, and he looked away, wiping a tear from his face with the back of his claw.
“We’ll have a lander by the time we get there,” Twilight said. “Better than any escape pod. It’s not like there will be anywhere to escape to before we get to Proximus. If something goes wrong, we either sleep until Equestria can send a rescue, or…” She trailed off. There was no need to say more.
Spike nodded. “I knew I’d be saying goodbye to some ponies when I came, Twi. I picked the ones I couldn’t give up. Besides…” He chuckled weakly. “In dragon time, forty years is nothing! Maybe Rarity won’t think I’m a baby when she wakes up.”
“Specialist Rarity,” Twilight corrected, though her tone was teasing. “Seriously though, don’t be afraid to trade with me if you start…” She reached up towards her head, making a twisting motion with one hoof. “Just because the psychologists say that dragons are solitary creatures doesn’t mean there’s any shame in taking some time to rest. Or waking me up for a little company.”
He nodded. “I’m not too worried. We’ve got the tight-beam from Equestria following us the whole way. Big Mac says he’ll make sure they include all the solo adventure modules published in all of Equestria.”
Twilight nodded. There was a few seconds of silence between them, with nothing but the steady hum of the Equinox’s engines.
“You really think we might find somepony waiting for us when we get there?” Spike asked.
“Somepony sent the signal,” Twilight said. “We get to be Equestria’s first ambassadors. I know we’ll make a good impression.”
“Assuming they’re still there in forty years,” Spike muttered. But his pessimism didn’t seem serious. He offered Twilight the pad he was holding, which she took in her magic. “One last thing before your nap. Preliminary readings from Proximus. The computer wants direction on which landing craft to build. Uh… material permitting.”
Twilight scanned the tablet at a glance.
There wasn’t as much as she’d hoped. Calculations based on observations of Proximus suggested there were three planets, at least one of which was in its predicted habitable zone for liquid water. There was a large gas giant almost certainly outside that range, which might or might not be composed of the hydrogen they would need to make a return trip. Assuming the Equinox is still working after forty years. From that information, the Equinox’s computer had suggested one of several designs Equestria had provided to them.
Twilight had a decision to make. They only had the resources to build a single lander.
1. Construct the Wraith (Visual and machine stealth capabilities)
2. Construct the Pioneer (Reinforced to survive in extreme environments)
3. Construct the Prospector (Equipped with mining and fabrication hardware)
4. Let Spike Decide (He’ll be awake anyway, might as well let him choose once there’s more information)
(Confidence 50 required)
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I'll give it a track but... Probably won't read it based on the whole "comment driven CYOA" angle. While it could work, you're relying on your audience being relatively intelligent... and this is FiMFiction we're talking about.
Oh boy, we get to make choices and you have the trust in us to keep them alive. This is going to go so terribly wrong.
This is very interesting... Let's see how this goes!
Oh, this will be interesting. Here's hoping it works out well. CYOA stories have a nasty tendency to burn out, but with your reader base, I don't think that'll be an issue. Looking forward to seeing how it goes.
Me.
Definitely an interesting take on a story, and sci-fi is becoming a rarer genre everyday (in my experience.) This has potential, certainly. Hope it gets updated soon!
I voted for the Prospector, because when they can mine new resources, they might possibly be able to construct the other ships anyways. Building a Prospector maximizes future options in my opinion.
The way most people will vote will either be: "This has greatest chance of success
" or "That looks like fun
"
So although you probably already thought of this, you should probably have multiple bad decisions leading up to a tragedy, so a single chapter doesn't completely derail the entire story. And, every bad decision we (and in turn Twilight and the crew) make should have justification, even if it's as simple as anger getting the better of someone (This would work for someone like RD, but not, say, Twilight.).
Of course I'm probably rambling on about things you've already thoroughly considered, but it doesn't hurt to say.
Edit: Also, not every chapter needs to have some pivitol decision answered by us. It would be as simple as what a character eats for dinner. For example, They could play it safe and make a simple meal, or they could make a more complex meal, that, on a coin flip could turn out either great or badly, which would affect their mood for the next chapter or two.
I really like this idea, make short chapters and have the readers vote on how the story progresses, I'll definitely be watching this one!
One question is how long will the voting go for and how often do you plan to release chapters?
9222390
Having such short chapters should allow me to release quite frequently, a week minimum and possibly far more often, depending on my schedule at any individual time. The votes themselves will have a confidence value attached. That's the number of votes I'll wait for before I start writing the next chapter.
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More than it just being FimFiction, this is the INTERNET!
Anyways, this looks interesting.
Oh dear Gods, lets see how the comments of a story set this out!
Neat, despite my huge story backlog ill probably read this one as its coming out. Since you'll be following some rules while writing, ill follow some while reading
.
Gonna try and challenge myself to leave a comment on every chapter while reading instead of only commenting when i finish a story. (unless you dont want me to for some reason. But since there will always be a choice, there will always be something to talk about
)
I say construct the Prospector. Additional resources are always useful, and can be used to build a dish to better track any signals. The more you know, right?
hmm first choice and it already looks like one that could have a very long term impact. I'll try making a habit of putting my reasoning for my choice in spoiler tags just in case.
Considering that we basically know nothing of what they'll be dealing with and that they will have to figure out how to get the resources needed to get back we'd probably be best off picking whatever is the most flexible.
The wraith feels like it wouldn't be flexible enough and if there is something hostile out there then fleeing is still always an option with the other two ships.
The prospector while useful and flexible enough to gather resources would probably not do well in an hostile environment or in a fight.
Personally im going to go with the pioneer since it'll be the most durable and flexible. Likely durable enough to flee from a fight if needed. And being able to explore and gather resources from planets might already be enough to make up for not having the prospector.
40 years is still going to be a long time for a baby dragon, especially assuming he hasn't even lived that long yet. Assuming they experience time like humans do where the longer you have been alive the faster the flow of time feels, there are some serious risks too his mental health. There is based on the information we have no telling how this will affect him and what we know from spike his decisions have a tendency of not being thought out all that well. First sign of possible hostiles? Panic and build a wraith. Leaving the choice to him also means we force him to stay awake during that time rather then leaving him more options if those 40 years turn out to be too much for him.
Reasoning aside, i was wondering why the 4th choice has a different color? i assume its Either always going to be the choice that lets someone else choose or the choice affects the person it involves or something? Are we gonna have to keep track of relationship points? "Spike will remember this"?
I promise ill try to keep my future comments a bit shorter
From Dragonshy we know dragons can take very long naps. I wonder if Spike couldn't tuck in for a few of those decades?
Hmm... The prospector has mining and fabrication hardware, but does it have enough to build the other 2? That's the question.
But there's virtually no chance an alien civilization would be at a comparable tech level, so the Wraith doesn't seem like such a savvy move. They're either so primitive you don't need it (can barely reach their own moon or can't even leave their ground), or so advanced that you'd just be insulting them and making yourself look bad, like a monkey walking into town with a sharpened stick.
I vote prospector!
It I'll be good to mine stuff to craft with and craft stuff to mine with.
This is very interesting for sure. I do think it will be interesting if in that 40 years Spike makes it to teenage size, that would be very cool and useful to the mission. I think he should make some real use of this time. He will have to keep everything going okay, and seeing how he is doing it to protect those close to him, his hoard, he will do all he can to protect them. He might even study up on some things that could turn out to be useful during the mission. I just hope Spike doesn't get put to the side in this story and get to live up to his rank as well as all the responsibility put on him.
I feel like using the Wraith and the Prospector would give a negative view about the ponies to the civilization they're heading towards. They could see them as invaders coming to take their resources and attack them. The pioneer has none of that, all it does is explore.
I voted to let Spike decide.
I'm sure we can trust him and the longer he waits the more reports and information he has, which makes making the right decision easier.
Also there is no point in building the vehicle long before arrival, since at best it will only collect dust, at worst it might get old and rusty.
And why is the last option in another color? Is there an deeper meaning?
And I suggest you might explain what "(Confidence 50 required)" means in the story itself instead of only the comments.
Whan I had read it I thought it might have something to do with the different color of the last option.
The top of her muzzle in the picture makes her look like a very determined five year old. It’s a great picture don’t get me wrong, but I thought that was amusing.
I vote to let spike decide simply for the reason stated in the chapter. It could also lead to spike waking the others to let them use the new information to decide.
9222747
I’m guessing the “50% confidence” basically means that the most voted option needs at least 50% of the votes to win. If it’s less than 50% it probably defaults to the coloured option, which in this case means “let the author decide”
But I may be wrong.
Edit: Turns out I am wrong
Hmmm, interesting set up, guessing things more or less went along the same lines as the show, just more futuristic till now? Twi ascending, being friends with the Mane 6 etc...
So, what role do the others fill? Dash would be the pilot obviously. Fluttershy medic and zoologist. AJ, agronomist?
As to the choice, the Prospector seems the best option, giving you the best chance at reclaiming minerals and getting more resources. But, at the same time, there is a lot we don't know. I voted for Prospector just due to the limitations of the options, but actual choice would be to tell Spike I'd prefer Prospector, but that he is free to alter that if more information shows up that makes one of the other two clearly more desirable.
Loving the idea here and can't wait to see where this goes.
4 let spike decide
9222824
Yup, you are wrong:
Starscribe told in a previous comment:
See here: 9222391
That's why I recommended to put this info in the story itself.
9222894
Thanks for telling me, must have missed that comment.
Prospector is my thinking since the quicker you are able to bootstrap your industry the more flexible you'll be for other situations later. However, I could see letting Spike decide work out fairly well too.
Ooh, daring constraints! Though why is Option 4 in purple?
Interesting concept...
I'll be sure to track this one.
Given they have 40 years of time to gather new data, letting Spike decide is probably the best bet.
I vote prospectors.
Hmm... normally I'd trust Twilight more than Spike, but with so little information, Spike might be the best option, even if he doesn't always have the best history of making good choices on his own.
9223315
Charter specific option I would guess.
My vote is for Prospector, extra resources early in would help, and stealth or durability might be moot one way or the other depending on the stats of the mothership and the aliens there going to meet
in the back
9228340
Technically, in the American English dialect, it is a grammatically correct (but informal) variation to omit “the” in that sentence.
This should be obvious by its relation to other, similar constructions, such as “in back of” or “out back”, which both mean behind.
it is time for me to start the next story out of the Starscribe stable.
this is looking good right at the start.
Hmmm they're going to friendship the heck out of the aliens! If they don't accidentally blow them up first...
Not going to lie, I hate when authors using strawpoll and calling the story CYOA. All you do is picking the popular choice and ignore the rest.