• Published 10th Oct 2018
  • 2,667 Views, 157 Comments

The Trouble with Unicorns III - Admiral Biscuit



Acorn's apartment on Earth has lots of great features: a dishwasher, forced-air heating and cooling, a coffee maker, a food processor . . . it's also got a telephone. She's not so keen on the telephone.

  • ...
6
 157
 2,667

Telephones

The Trouble with Unicorns 3: Telephones
Admiral Biscuit

There were dozens of appliances in her Earth apartment that Acorn liked, things that ponies simply did not have. A big, glass-faced box on the wall was her own personal movie theater—that was nice, although she’d learned that it gave her a headache if she watched it for too long.

The kitchen was full of appliances she’d never dreamed of. There was an icebox that magically kept itself cold, a food processor that could chop her veggies as fine as any Canterlot chef, a stove that never needed to have coal or wood put in it.

There were little vents on the wall that could blow hot or cold air if the temperature outside wasn’t to her liking. All she had to do was set the temperature she wanted, and the little box on the wall did all the work after that.

Her kitchen had a machine that would wash dishes for her and dry them, too. Another machine to make coffee. A blender to make smoothies, which could be chilled with the unlimited supply of ice her icebox spit out. Downstairs, there was a laundry room where she could wash her blankets and towels.

There was a gym, too, but the only piece of exercise equipment that was really pony-friendly was the treadmill. Free weights were okay for building field strength, but people got shouty when she started to use them. Still, she’d met lots of her neighbors while trotting on the treadmill.

In short, Acorn’s apartment was nearly perfect. Except for the telephone.

At first, it had seemed like another convenient appliance. Restaurants sent her fliers with their telephone numbers on them, and she could order pizza or submarine sandwiches or Chinese from the comfort of her apartment, and even get it delivered right to the building’s front door.

The telephone of course worked both ways, and anybody could call her any time they wanted to, with no regard to what she was doing.

Acorn might be in the middle of a movie, when all of a sudden the rude jingling of the bell would interrupt her and completely break the mood. Or she might be relaxing in the bath, or eating dinner, or laying in bed.

If it was a friend, she didn’t mind so much. She politely reminded them when it was a good time to call her, and they respected that.

Sometimes it was work, and while she didn’t always enjoy getting calls from work, they were necessary. Shifts occasionally got moved around or had to be covered because somebody was sick, and that was just the way of things.

Most often though, it was people trying to sell her things. Sometimes not even proper people—she hadn’t realized at first that humans had invented simulacra to talk on the telephone, but they had.

Usually switching to Equestrian confused them, and they’d hang up—but not always. Sometimes they’d just go on oblivious to whatever she had to say, reading off their pre-programmed script.

They’d offer her forgiveness for her student loans or an extended warranty on her car or help with the viruses and malware that were plaguing her computer. Telling the simulacrum that she didn’t have student loans or a car or a computer didn’t make it give up.

Occasionally, she got actual people on the telephone, also trying to sell her things she didn’t want. Most of them were polite when she told them ‘no’ at least.

Most of them.

Despite the general advantages of telephones, they were virtually unknown in Equestria. In some of the big cities, there were buildings with local sound-powered telephone systems, but these did not connect to any other buildings.

Given that Equestria was largely—in people’s perception—quaint and old-timey, most people didn’t think about that too much. Most people didn’t stop to wonder if there was a reason that ponies had not bothered to invent a long-distance telecommunications device.

There was a reason.


Acorn was in the bathroom when the telephone started ringing. It had been a long day at work with miserable customers, and it had started raining on her way home—it was still raining, in fact.

I can ignore it. The water was just the right temperature, the bath bomb was fizzing away, and she’d even figured out how to make her television play soothing music.

She dipped her hooves in the bathtub.

The ringing stopped.

She waited one more moment, just to be sure, and then eased herself in, sinking down until only her head was still above the water, until her nose was full of the steamy scent of lavender.

Ring

There it was again. Her ears cocked, unbidden, towards the hateful telephone.

How long could she ignore it? If it stopped now, surely it would just start ringing again until it was satisfied.

It was tempting to just rip the instrument from the wall—she knew it wouldn’t work if its wires weren’t attached. But it could be work, or it could be the pizza restaurant calling to clarify her order or when she wanted it delivered.

She got out of the bath and trod across the living room to the little side table where the telephone sat. By the time she got there, it had stopped ringing again.

So she stood there, dripping water, staring daggers at her telephone, just daring it to ring again, and it did.

She grabbed the handset in her aura and jerked it up to her head. “Hello.”

“Hello, good evening, I would like to tell you about—”

“I don’t want it,” she snapped. “Don’t need it. Thanks, bye.”

Ring

“Hello, good evening, we got cut off. This is Mark calling from All County Building Supply & Maintenance, and we have a great offer for you.”

“I don’t want a great offer. Goodbye.”

She took two steps before the telephone rang again.

“Listen here, lady—”

“No, you listen here. I had a long day at work and I was just about to relax in the bath.”

“You’d be a lot more relaxed if you knew what kind of peace of mind a new maintenance contract would give you,” Mark said.

“There’s a trail of wet hoofprints across my living room.”

“It only takes a moment to sign up,” Mark explained.

“I don’t have a minute. Bye.” She dropped the handset again.

The phone rang.

“Hello, good evening.”

Stop calling me!

Ring

I won’t give him the satisfaction. She looked at the telephone. She could unplug it at least long enough to take a bath. She’d want to call the restaurant first and cancel her food, though; they’d have no way of reaching her if the telephone was unplugged, and what if they’d already started making it? They’d be mad when they couldn’t deliver it to her.

She grabbed the handset. “What?”

“Listen here, you cow, stop hanging up on me.”

“Cow?” Acorn’s cheeks burned with fury, and the handset started to crack under the pressure of her aura. “Cow? You’re . . . you’re a mule. Stubborn and—” Realization struck, and she didn’t hear his angry retort, because she was carefully examining the instrument. Finally, she reached her decision. “Shut up and listen. You call me one more time, you’ll regret it.”

She dropped the handset back in the cradle and waited. Five seconds later, it started ringing again.

She gave it two rings, then pushed it off the cradle. His vituperations were clearly audible even at this distance.

A gentle poke with her hoof stopped its rocking, and she tilted her head down at the mouthpiece, aiming her horn just so. “Okay, mister Mule, I warned you.” It only took a moment to cast the spell, which melted the mouthpiece a little bit, and then—

—and then it went through the wires—copper was a fine conductor of magical energy. The spiral cord of the handset lit briefly, followed by the entire telephone glowing for a moment.

The spell moved on, through the internal circuitry of the telephone and then into the wall. It followed the wires down to the PBX in the basement of the apartment building and after it had skimmed through the boards, it found the wires leading out of the building.

Had Acorn looked outside, she might have seen it for just a moment as it whisked along from pole to pole, a brief glow on the line that quickly passed.

The insulation on the wires wasn’t what it once was. Cell phones and VoIP had greatly reduced the demand of actual landlines, and these hadn’t been properly maintained since Ma Bell’s days. Little bits leaked out: Mrs. Rochow, who was having a conversation with her sister, suddenly wondered if fresh cut grass was as delicious as it smelled; Mr. McNaught scraped his foot on the ground and then kicked back at the wall when his mechanic told him that the engine would have to come out of his Explorer.

It traveled halfway through town until it came to a rather plain-looking brick building, one of the holdovers of local exchanges. Many modern systems were digitized but this one was not, not entirely.

The spell traveled through a series of relays—the electromechanical patchboard that had replaced human operators—until it came back out the other side, once again on good old-fashioned copper wires, and then it was off, zipping back up to a telephone pole, once again racing to its destination.

It had a bit of difficulty when it got to an unassuming storefront with a faded ‘for lease’ sign still in the window. There was an auto dialler on the line and it bounced briefly into that before finding its way again, rushing along a bundle of wires loosely draped from the trusses. They were fairly new and the insulation was good, so it had no trouble finding its way to another telephone and rushing through the instrument and up the headset cord.

Having found its target, the spell took but a moment to do its work and then it faded as if it had never been there, leaving the telephone connection perfectly intact. As for the man with the telephone . . .

Acorn didn’t hang up until she heard confused braying on the other end of the line.

“Hmph.” She crossed her living room, back to her bath. A bit more hot water and if she was feeling decadent, a second bath bomb. “Now everybody’s gonna know he’s stubborn like a mule.”

Author's Note:

Click right HERE for story notes about telephone systems! Ma Bell approves.

Comments ( 156 )

BPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Ponies, just don't fuck with them.

Great idea here, something that isn't going to be as useful nowadays though given all the wireless stuff, but explains why ponies never got passed the early days to get to this. Best part is, dude can't really say much, and not just because of the donkey thing, but hassling her like that is not just bad form and poor salesmanship, but outright illegal.

Also so adorable, being all concerned about the food place. Really, someone needs to introduce her to caller ID.

Loved it, more Ponies making everyday things cuter, and more impossible to do.

The structure looks good I guess.

Acorn may be speciest, but she's no slouch at transmutation.

Of course, a pegasus would just have zapped the guy.

That is just the thing I've always wished I could do to someone who has been a jerk to me over the phone!

Man, I wish I was a unicorn!

In short, Acron’s apartment was nearly perfect. Except for the telephone.

Ohio girl, is she?

We've all had that moment when this response was the right one.
I, personally, take one of the wireless handsets, hold it up to the other side of my mouth, and recite the BORG lines letting the phone give feedback and dissonance.
This though? This is so much better. Sign me up for a unicorn callblocker, please.

The spiral cord of the handset lit briefly, followed by the entire telephone gowing for a moment.

Pretty much anything Pre 1970s would be electromechanical? Mainly cos digital circuitry just cost too much before then, valves etc being analog?

If copper conducts magic, explains about soft gold, silver, platinum Royal Guard Armor. But given Rock Farms and diamonds, shouldnt be that difficult to make a graphene deposition spell to layer in the armor, then combine with a decrement loop function to the spell to make it atomically layered to a given thickness, like Geodes?

You know, I think she might have left that guy feeling a little...

Cranky? :trollestia:

This is darling. And... man have I wanted to do that with telemarketers. The Do Not Call list is not enough. If it weren't for the fact that I need a phone for my job, I'd... just as well not have one of the irritating jingly devices. :twilightangry2:

9222958

Ponies, just don't fuck with them.

This is good life advice.

Great idea here, something that isn't going to be as useful nowadays though given all the wireless stuff, but explains why ponies never got passed the early days to get to this.

That’s my headcanon. Too easy for an angry unicorn to misuse a conventional telephone system, therefore no development of the idea.

Best part is, dude can't really say much, and not just because of the donkey thing, but hassling her like that is not just bad form and poor salesmanship, but outright illegal.

The illegal part is questionable, IMHO. From what I know, a few calls kind of skirts the line, and of course it’s certainly not professional. But yeah, either way, he can’t complain about it now. He’d better hope her spell isn’t permanent.

Also so adorable, being all concerned about the food place. Really, someone needs to introduce her to caller ID.

Even then, he seems like the kind of guy who might work for a company that would spoof numbers. But caller ID does help; I usually answer anyway in the hopes of getting an actual person on the other end, or to see if I can confuse a robocaller.

Loved it, more Ponies making everyday things cuter, and more impossible to do.

:heart:

9222973
Well, that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?

9222997

Acorn may be speciest, but she's no slouch at transmutation.

Darn straight. Always good to be able to transform your enemies into something else.

Of course, a pegasus would just have zapped the guy.

Ooh, that’s a danger of the telephone I hadn’t even considered! That can happen with IRL corded telephones when the wires are hit with lightning, and it’s usually not good for the person holding the instrument.

9223007

That is just the thing I've always wished I could do to someone who has been a jerk to me over the phone!
Man, I wish I was a unicorn!

I know, right? Telemarketers better watch out before calling Acorn.

9223047

Ohio girl, is she?

:derpytongue2:
Given how many times I mistyped her name, I’m surprised that I only missed one on edit. Doesn’t help that Google recognizes Acron as a real name (as well it should).

Correction made; thank you!

As a resident of Nebraska, the state that pretty much houses those robot call numbers, I feel like I need to apologize. I think it has something to do with left over military numbers being put up for sale after the Cold War. It's either here or somewhere in the Midwest.

9223062

We've all had that moment when this response was the right one.

I knew a girl in high school I could’ve done this to. Kept prank calling.

Since I’m no good at transmutation spells cast over a phone line, I did the next best thing. Set our dialup modem to call her, let it ring four times, hang up, and then try again 30 seconds later. Let it go on for a good half hour. She never prank called me again. :rainbowlaugh:

I, personally, take one of the wireless handsets, hold it up to the other side of my mouth, and recite the BORG lines letting the phone give feedback and dissonance.

Ooh, that’s a good one, too.

This though? This is so much better. Sign me up for a unicorn callblocker, please.

She could sell her services. Pretty soon telemarketers would know better . . . or invest in wireless equipment that she couldn’t cast spells across. Which of course would lead to an arms race of sorts, as better spells got invented to bridge the gap.

9223068
Gowing, you know, what telephones do when a spell’s cast through them?

No?

<correction made; thank you> :heart:

9223099

Between this and "Hello, This is Not a Scammer, I Promise," there's a lot of overlap. Which means one thing... DEATH BATTLE! There can only be one.

I actually delayed publication of this one a bit until that fell out of the feature box. Haven’t read it yet, either, but it’s on my RIL.

I do love the IRS scam. Makes me giggle every time I get the call. Usually listen to the message all the way through, because the broken English makes it even funnier.

9223111

Pretty much anything Pre 1970s would be electromechanical? Mainly cos digital circuitry just cost too much before then, valves etc being analog?

Certainly all the stuff on a local level. Trunklines and such might have been computerized, because even though a big computer was really expensive back then, so were miles and miles of copper lines, and if you could multiplex them, you could avoid having to run too many of them. I don’t think you could multiplex with an analog system.

If copper conducts magic, explains about soft gold, silver, platinum Royal Guard Armor. But given Rock Farms and diamonds, shouldnt be that difficult to make a graphene deposition spell to layer in the armor, then combine with a decrement loop function to the spell to make it atomically layered to a given thickness, like Geodes?

Maybe. There’s a good chance that the guard armor is layered, since while you want friendlies to be able to cast spells on soldiers, you don’t want enemies to be able to, so you’d want to design them around that as much as possible.

You know, I think she might have left that guy feeling a little...
Cranky? :trollestia:

:rainbowlaugh:

9223173

This is darling.

:heart:

And... man have I wanted to do that with telemarketers. The Do Not Call list is not enough.

I usually find other ways to amuse myself with them. Sometimes even tell the truth, which is great:
“I’m calling about a virus on your computer.”
“Which one?”
“How many do you have?”
“Um . . . about ten.”
“Ten computers! What do you use them all for?”
“I’m using one as a doorstop.”
<click>

If it weren't for the fact that I need a phone for my job, I'd... just as well not have one of the irritating jingly devices. :twilightangry2:

Yeah, there’s a lot to be said about the peace and quiet of not having a phone, no question. Maybe the Amish are on to something.

9223254
If it makes you feel better, Michigan--my home state--has one of the scammier charity call centers. I can’t remember their name, but they’re somewhere in Metro Detroit.

I doubt any one state is too blame.. You want to blame anyone blame the telcos they'll sell you a hundred lines if you want . All that happens is we change area codes around I've had my local one changed 3 times since 1990 and a number of places are now mandating 10 digital dialing. Gather Miami has been like that for over 20yrs.. The area code for a long time would tell you is it was pager, home line or POS terminal

9223288

“I’m calling about a virus on your computer.”

Only scam I've dealt with, and wasn't even me. Roommate got that one "I'm calling from Microsoft, we detected a major malware issue on your computer and need you to go to makemycomputerabotnet.com immediately" one.

Sadly I get nothing fun, just Student Loan stuff for Loans I don't have, and the very occasionally auto insurance for the car I don't have calls.

I'd love to reach through the telephone system and "politely" ask the scammers/telemarketers to stop calling. We have an answering machine and caller ID in my house. We screen all our calls but check the caller ID a lot anyway.
Best caller ID we've ever seen? "Illegal Scam"

one curious question. The transmutation spell and the leaked out bits are temporary in this story, right?

9223308

I doubt any one state is too blame.. You want to blame anyone blame the telcos they'll sell you a hundred lines if you want .

Or, with the right kind of software, you can get one phone line and pretend to be a hundred or so.

All that happens is we change area codes around I've had my local one changed 3 times since 1990 and a number of places are now mandating 10 digital dialing. Gather Miami has been like that for over 20yrs.. The area code for a long time would tell you is it was pager, home line or POS terminal

Well, that’s the big disadvantage to telephonic devices. Back in my day, Michigan area codes were 313 (Detroit area), 517 (east half except Detroit), and 616 (west half). The UP might have had an area code, but I’m not sure if cans on strings required it.

Then they added 810, and it’s been downhill since then.

9223314

Only scam I've dealt with, and wasn't even me. Roommate got that one "I'm calling from Microsoft, we detected a major malware issue on your computer and need you to go to makemycomputerabotnet.com immediately" one.

I got that one once. Pretended it was a phone sex line. Guy hung up on me before I even ‘logged on.’

Sadly I get nothing fun, just Student Loan stuff for Loans I don't have, and the very occasionally auto insurance for the car I don't have calls.

I tried to get an extended warranty on a S-10 pickup with 400,000 miles on the odometer. Rejected. Tried to get one on a $150 motorcycle. Rejected.

Tried to get a mortgage on my potato chip truck, and that got shot down too, even though I claimed I lived in it.

9223334

Best caller ID we've ever seen? "Illegal Scam"

There was a service on my cell phone when I first got it that did that. I usually answered anyways, because I never feel bad no matter what I do to those people. Great stress relief.

9223340

one curious question. The transmutation spell and the leaked out bits are temporary in this story, right?

That’s one of those things for the reader to determine. The leaked out bits, most likely. Although perhaps Mrs. Rochow will occasionally nibble on grass and Mr. McNaught will have more of a desire to kick when he’s unhappy. For the telemarketer . . . I guess whatever ending makes you happy.

Who knows, if he stays a mule he could get a job hauling borax wagons or something.

I really only get three: Car warranty (yeah, my 2000 Honda Civic is prime for that), student loan interest (paid 'em off a few years ago) and credit card fraud.

The last one I've gotten a fair edge on because our card company *might* call, so I just ask them which card they're calling about. No, I mean which one, not Visa or Mastercharge. If you're really our company calling because of my card, you can give me the last four digits of my card. Anytime. I'll wait. No, I'm not going to read my card to you, because you called me, so you *have* to know what card you're calling about. Or my billing address. Yes, I'll wait. Anytime. Heck, do you even know my name? Hello? Helloooo?

I was really expecting--

Yen Wi pushed the 'Flush' button on the console, which hung up on the call and picked up on the next one in line. Sometimes all he would do for hours was push the button, read the script until interrupted, push the button... But it paid, and that was the important part.

"I rent," came the familiar voice on the other end of the phone before he could even start his spiel. "Does a maintenance contract even work for a rental?" The sound of splashing water echoed over the line as Yen sat in his uncomfortable office chair, then slowly reached over and pushed the 'Flush' button again.

"And does it cover appliances?" added the voice. "Because I put a baked potato wrapped into aluminum foil into the quick cooker thing and sparks went all over--"

He jabbed down on the 'Stop' button and ripped his headset off, just sitting in place in his cubicle and panting while that terrible voice continued in his bare ears. And continued. And continued...

"And I suppose that would be damages incurred before the policy, but you could backdate it, or just make allowances. After all, we Equestrians really don't understand your human technology, so you can't expect us not to have a few minor issues. Like this soap dispenser. I dropped it in the tub last night, and now the little thingie doesn't go up and down very easily. Would that be covered by the maintenance agreement also? Oh, and I have a lawn mower, but after I used it to mow about half of my yard, it just stopped, and I had to graze the rest off without even any croutons. That could be added to the contract also, I suppose. And another thing...."

Telemarketers? SEND THE PHONE SPIDERS!
:flutterrage:

Wow, she went easy on him! This was a kinder ending than most of us probably dream about for telemarketers, or at least for the people who manage these illegal operations.

I haven't received too many spam calls on my cell lately, hopefully for the best reasons (DID-spoofing offenders shut down and fined/arrested, but this is a fantasy). I always hit reject on numbers I don't recognize, under the assumption that they'll leave a voicemail if it's important. The never leave a voicemail.

The research I did on this led me to SIT codes (the three high-pitched tones you hear when your call hits a PSTN switch that can't complete your call). Adding this specific tone (signalling "Number changed or disconnected") to the beginning of your voicemail greeting has a decent chance of telling auto-dialers listening for them that your number is no good. Anything else that follows that can be your usual voicemail greeting.

IC_SIT.ogg file on Wikipedia

Does it work? I don't know. The calls dropped off for me. And I can't upload a voicemail greeting on my cell carrier. And... I got lazy. :facehoof:

Another wonderful story admiral! Have a like!

I was expecting lightning to shoot out of his handset, or maybe an effect like poison joke.

But to insult mules by comparing them to a telemarketer, by making a telemarketer act like a mule?

For shame, Acorn! Tsk, tsk!

The mule is a noble and hardy creature. Telemarketers are more like goblins, or vampires. Only garlic can't keep them away, and they only want to suck your gold.

9223606

They seem to come and go in waves. I didn't get any for a couple years, but now it's a daily thing again.

I would seriously like the spell to send lightning... please, Acorn? Hook a brony up!

...I may have to try that tone thing, though.

Man, torturing people living paycheck to paycheck trying to have a living through telemarketing is so fun!

9223665

Almost as fun as making fun of people who troll the internet in the name of their presidentlordkingdudinator-who-totally-doesn't-have-people-he-doesn't-like-brutally-murdered-except-when-he-does-repeatedly!

9223679
yes, because every russian person on the internet supports putin, right?

No. Fuck you, I voted Yabloko in march.

Thank you for another enjoyable story, and now I have a question, ever thought about a pony showing up to a hobby store, and maybe getting into an RPG, or a Tabletop game, like Warhammer.

That’s one way to deal with a jackass...

I have had as many as FIFTEEN calls during a day from various telemarketers, pols, scammers, all calls I didn't want. It is hard for real calls to get past the dendritis that I have to deal with on a daily basis.

I no longer get the phone from the bathroom. I used to.

I can remember having to change an email address a long time ago because I passed 200 spam messages per day and it became impossible to read my real email.

Telephones need a spam filter.

And THIS is why modern phones have a lovely built-in feature called "auto-reject". I got over a dozen blocked calls just today, most of which used neighbor spoofing. Sometimes it's really convenient having no local friends.

... I just realized how sad that sounds. :pinkiesad2:

My pet dislike is spam from beautiful women who supposedly want to know me. If there is one thing that I've learned in life it's this: No, they don't. They don't want to know that I exist, never mind getting to know me.

If the telemarketer had been lucky, his target would have had wings, or been able to grow plants very well, rather than a horn. Had he been very unlucky, his target would have had all three.

The ability to hex rude telemarketers and callbots alone would be reason enough to leave a portal to Equestria open.

It's a cute story, though what Mark got was a little overkill. Then again, meddling in the affairs of wizard (or of unicorns) isn't a good idea.

My experience with telemarketers is quite sparse. As far as I know, it's all from the same company and it's all about promos we could get on our Wi-Fi plan or some cable subscription. From that, though, they were pretty amicable and sound very genuine. Couple that with my ambivalent attitude towards mistimed phone calls (since I assume someone's calling with good reason), I sympathize with them. Having to cold call, talking with people you don't know, not knowing whether they're in the bathroom or what...it's a tough job. :fluttershyouch:

As for that transformation spell...I hope it's temporary. It seems to be something particularly high-level, so unless Acorn's talent is like Twilight's or Trixie's, her spell should wear off soon. :twilightsmile:

9223401
I know that the story is meant to be comedic but I really do want to imagine that both that and the urges are temporary, considering that this is just a regular unicorn, not a Twilight Sparkle level unicorn. Otherwise, you know, almost any unicorn can easily, with no way back to normal that is availible to humans, affect people's minds and/or bodies

Unicorns are scary, man.

Usually switching to Equestrian confused them, and they’d hang up—but not always. Sometimes they’d just go on oblivious to whatever she had to say, reading off their pre-programmed script.

Robo-callers were the prototype pseudo-people, precursors to the modern SJW NPCs created by Monsanto and George Soros to take over the world. Thank god, 4chan was able to unearth this diabolical scheme! (#CONSPIRACIES)

:pinkiecrazy:

9223912 We just got a check from the results of a class-action lawsuit against a telemarketing scam company that kept trying to sell everyone solar power systems that were garbage. They would call EVERY DAY. My dad and I started invented glorious lies to troll them with.

once again on good old-fashioned copper wires

HA! I'd be safe! I have Verizon's space-age fiber-optic cable! Everyone knows magic is a Dark Art and electricity is a power of the Sith, and thus neither can pass through a wire which can only transmit God's Holy Light!

(Alondro is best religious fanatic)

:pinkiecrazy:

So happy you finally got this out.

Ri2

9222997
9223247
Too bad there's nothing Earth Ponies can do to protect themselves, those sad, pitiful creatures.

Login or register to comment