• Member Since 29th Sep, 2016
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Silver Butcher


♤ I shall Butcher your dreams ♤ I'm going to break into your house and steal all of your left shoes.

T

Spike, Cheerilee, and Braeburn turn evil and try to destroy Ponyville, all having nothing to do with the others and all having the exact same plan, after deciding to team up, and being defeated at the same time, They end up forming Team Rocket and falling under the command of Queen Chrysalis. they proceed to fail every step of the way on their rise to power.

Alternate Universe Tag, Wingless Spike
Crossover tag, Should I add one?

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 24 )

>Cheerilee, Braeburn, and Spike turn evil
>Spike is tired of being mistreated
>Braeburn wanted to invent stuff, blew up half of Appaloosa, isn't welcome in Ponyville by his own family
>Cheerilee is salty cause she can't get into the School of Friendship
>Teams up to destroy Ponyville
>Names themselves Team Rocket

camo.derpicdn.net/5a62da085689499afe2cc4fa3e869676cea9d97c?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FtvWyiUU.jpg

My side they hurt with laughter

9497969
oh, thank you, nice to know someone finds this funny.

9497970
Have you seen the sun and moon team rocket with beware? Implement the bear in some form

9497977
funny, I got some messages of team rocket being added to some favorites, but I have the same likes and more disikes

Twilight looked at the mess, and tried for the life of her to figure out how any of what was happening was happening. Spike, Cheerilee, and Braeburn where all floating in air ballon's, they had been dropping heavy thing's over the side, but now the three of them where all angrily yelling at each other for stealing their idea.

"I was up here first!" Spike was yelling

"No, I was up here first!" Braeburn yelled back

"I was here 30 second's before you two even rose up!" Cheerilee interjected

So...periods. Let's talk about periods. Also, maybe the use of apostrophes.

This story has the wrong like to dislike ratio

9499728
try looking through the comments, it's either you, someone telling me the story makes so sense, or someone telling me
off for Period/comma use, your the only one who's comment was a compliment.

"You have got to be kidding me." she sighed in irritation "You three are the dumbest ponies I've ever met, how Cheerliee became a teacher is beyond me."

Remember Twi: You teached Spike. Mabe you rubbed off on him.

"Ok, now we just need to figure out of to launch it and get away really fast," Spike said when Rainbow reached into the Balloon, and pushed the orb out of their hands, making it fall and break in said Balloon, the trio blinked at the ball, then each other then turned to Rainbow dash who waved before flying back down the Twilight.
"Oh dear." they all said in unison.

Well, it was nice knowing you three...

"3-3-360 Bow!?" She laughed "These doofs are the best of the worst!" she wiped a tear from her eye "oh I'm so happy I found them."

Yup.

"Alright, so what does the actual trigger do?"
"Absolutely nothing." Spike responded, "It's a ruse, is somepony steals this in the middle of the fight and turns on use, their first instincts will be to pull the trigger on use, and when they do and nothing happened we jump them and take it back!" Spike laughed at his own genius
"That's stupid," Cheerliee said bluntly.

Maybe, but an stupid idea that works isn't stupid.

"Alright, now I can watch and work, time to fix this junky place up."

She will either create the best device ever or ruin everything, right?

"If they can make a Weapon from junk, they can do the same and better with not so Junky junk."

It's worth a try.

9500359
Wait did you like or dislike the story?

9500718
The story-idea itself is good.
That's why I'm following it.

But I will be honest with you: (Skip remaining comment, if you don't like critique)
Your writing style is not very good.
Far too often you seem to have trouble wich uppercase-lowercase, punctuation and usage of quotation marks.
Also, your writing is rather plain. For instance, basically always telling instead of showing things. If you don't understand what I mean have a look here.
In general I always recommend to read the whole Writing Guide, because it is very good. In your case I suggest especially the chapters "Punctuation" and "Style".

I suspect this are the reasons for the current rating of the story.

This... is a comedy masterpiece why are so many dislikes

9940237
I have been told that it makes no sense.

9940237
entrily because you seemed to enjoy the story I updated it.

Thank you it’s amazing

"You...idiotic geniuses," Was the best Chrysalis could think to say

I guess that summarises the story.

"Good afternoon Applejack," Spike called, there was a moment of silence before he made a sound "Oh wait I'm the bad guy, um...Bad afternoon?"
"This is so badly a phase," Applejack said looking over at Fluttershy "And I blame Twilight completely,"

Heh.

"I don't think I'm evil enough to hate on Fluttershy," Spike muttered as he scratched his chin.

Don't worry about that. No one could hate Fluttershy.


Good story!
I enjoyed reading it.

Also, tooth brushes are important!

She tipped the potion and dumped it over the tiny mech before turning on the spot, Spike and Braeburn did the same as the toy rapidly grew in size

Hopefully they never get the idea to work with Beyblades...

"That is so cool," Scootaloo muttered before turning to her friends "Why don't we have an entrance moto?"
"I never thought about it," Sweetie said with a shrug.

Fair question.

"Hey guys," Cheerliee called getting their attention "The door is locked and I lost my key during one of our blast off's, can we just take down the entire wall,"

Or, you could simply break open the door?
No? Okay then...

"You guys should probably scatter before we leave, you might get blamed for this,"

That si actually realistic, considering their track record...

"Who does she think she is!" They watched her angrily stomp back to the robot and climb in, a note crumbled in her hands that she handed to Braeburn, who read it aloud while Cheerliee shut the dome.

Yeah! She is acting like she is the princess or something!


Good chapter!
I enjoyed reading it.

Login or register to comment