• Member Since 29th Sep, 2016
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Silver Butcher

I shall Butcher your dreams

Silver Butcher Joined 29th Sep, 2016 · Offline

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Spike, Cheerilee, and Braeburn turn evil and try to destroy Ponyville, all having nothing to do with the others and all having the exact same plan, after deciding to team up, and being defeated at the same time, They end up forming Team Rocket and falling under the command of Queen Chrysalis. they proceed to fail every step of the way on their rise to power.

Alternate Universe Tag, Wingless Spike
Crossover tag, Should I add one?
Chapters (6)
Incomplete Published: Oct 10th, 2018 Download
13,228 words
Comments ( 25 )
Dustchu
Dustchu #1 · Oct 10th, 2018 · · · Team Rocket Blasting off. ·
Reply

>Cheerilee, Braeburn, and Spike turn evil
>Spike is tired of being mistreated
>Braeburn wanted to invent stuff, blew up half of Appaloosa, isn't welcome in Ponyville by his own family
>Cheerilee is salty cause she can't get into the School of Friendship
>Teams up to destroy Ponyville
>Names themselves Team Rocket

camo.derpicdn.net/5a62da085689499afe2cc4fa3e869676cea9d97c?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FtvWyiUU.jpg

Viper Pit
Viper Pit #3 · Mar 9th, 2019 · · · Team Rocket, The Weather balls ·
Reply

My side they hurt with laughter

Silver Butcher
Silver Butcher #4 · Mar 9th, 2019 · · · Team Rocket, The Weather balls ·
Reply

9497969
oh, thank you, nice to know someone finds this funny.

Viper Pit
Viper Pit #5 · Mar 9th, 2019 · · · Team Rocket, The Weather balls ·
Reply

9497970
Have you seen the sun and moon team rocket with beware? Implement the bear in some form

Silver Butcher
Silver Butcher #8 · Mar 9th, 2019 · · · Team Rocket, The Weather balls ·
Reply

9497977
funny, I got some messages of team rocket being added to some favorites, but I have the same likes and more disikes

RarityEQM
RarityEQM #10 · Mar 10th, 2019 · · · Team Rocket Blasting off. ·
Reply

Twilight looked at the mess, and tried for the life of her to figure out how any of what was happening was happening. Spike, Cheerilee, and Braeburn where all floating in air ballon's, they had been dropping heavy thing's over the side, but now the three of them where all angrily yelling at each other for stealing their idea.

"I was up here first!" Spike was yelling

"No, I was up here first!" Braeburn yelled back

"I was here 30 second's before you two even rose up!" Cheerilee interjected

So...periods. Let's talk about periods. Also, maybe the use of apostrophes.

Viper Pit
Viper Pit #11 · Mar 10th, 2019 · · · Team Rockets New Headquarters ·
Reply

This story has the wrong like to dislike ratio

Silver Butcher
Silver Butcher #12 · Mar 10th, 2019 · · · Team Rockets New Headquarters ·
Reply

9499728
try looking through the comments, it's either you, someone telling me the story makes so sense, or someone telling me
off for Period/comma use, your the only one who's comment was a compliment.

PonyDragon
PonyDragon #13 · Mar 10th, 2019 · · · Team Rocket, The Weather balls ·
Reply

"You have got to be kidding me." she sighed in irritation "You three are the dumbest ponies I've ever met, how Cheerliee became a teacher is beyond me."

Remember Twi: You teached Spike. Mabe you rubbed off on him.

"Ok, now we just need to figure out of to launch it and get away really fast," Spike said when Rainbow reached into the Balloon, and pushed the orb out of their hands, making it fall and break in said Balloon, the trio blinked at the ball, then each other then turned to Rainbow dash who waved before flying back down the Twilight.
"Oh dear." they all said in unison.

Well, it was nice knowing you three...

PonyDragon
PonyDragon #14 · Mar 10th, 2019 · · · Team Rockets New Headquarters ·
Reply

"3-3-360 Bow!?" She laughed "These doofs are the best of the worst!" she wiped a tear from her eye "oh I'm so happy I found them."

Yup.

"Alright, so what does the actual trigger do?"
"Absolutely nothing." Spike responded, "It's a ruse, is somepony steals this in the middle of the fight and turns on use, their first instincts will be to pull the trigger on use, and when they do and nothing happened we jump them and take it back!" Spike laughed at his own genius
"That's stupid," Cheerliee said bluntly.

Maybe, but an stupid idea that works isn't stupid.

"Alright, now I can watch and work, time to fix this junky place up."

She will either create the best device ever or ruin everything, right?

"If they can make a Weapon from junk, they can do the same and better with not so Junky junk."

It's worth a try.

Silver Butcher
Silver Butcher #15 · Mar 11th, 2019 · · · Team Rocket, The Weather balls ·
Reply

9500359
Wait did you like or dislike the story?

PonyDragon
PonyDragon #16 · Mar 11th, 2019 · · · Team Rocket, The Weather balls ·
Reply

9500718
The story-idea itself is good.
That's why I'm following it.

But I will be honest with you: (Skip remaining comment, if you don't like critique)
Your writing style is not very good.
Far too often you seem to have trouble wich uppercase-lowercase, punctuation and usage of quotation marks.
Also, your writing is rather plain. For instance, basically always telling instead of showing things. If you don't understand what I mean have a look here.
In general I always recommend to read the whole Writing Guide, because it is very good. In your case I suggest especially the chapters "Punctuation" and "Style".

I suspect this are the reasons for the current rating of the story.

Daedrik
Daedrik #17 · Nov 13th, 2019 · · · Team Rockets New Headquarters ·
Reply

This... is a comedy masterpiece why are so many dislikes

Silver Butcher
Silver Butcher #18 · Nov 13th, 2019 · · · Team Rockets New Headquarters ·
Reply

9940237
I have been told that it makes no sense.

Silver Butcher
Silver Butcher #19 · Nov 14th, 2019 · · · Team Rocket, Robot ·
Reply

9940237
entrily because you seemed to enjoy the story I updated it.

Daedrik
Daedrik #20 · Nov 14th, 2019 · · · Team Rocket, Robot ·
Reply

Thank you it’s amazing

PonyDragon
PonyDragon #21 · Nov 21st, 2019 · · · Team Rocket, Robot ·
Reply

"You...idiotic geniuses," Was the best Chrysalis could think to say

I guess that summarises the story.

"Good afternoon Applejack," Spike called, there was a moment of silence before he made a sound "Oh wait I'm the bad guy, um...Bad afternoon?"
"This is so badly a phase," Applejack said looking over at Fluttershy "And I blame Twilight completely,"

Heh.

"I don't think I'm evil enough to hate on Fluttershy," Spike muttered as he scratched his chin.

Don't worry about that. No one could hate Fluttershy.

Good story!
I enjoyed reading it.

Also, tooth brushes are important!

PonyDragon
PonyDragon #22 · Dec 18th, 2020 · · · Team Rockets, second Robot ·
Reply

She tipped the potion and dumped it over the tiny mech before turning on the spot, Spike and Braeburn did the same as the toy rapidly grew in size

Hopefully they never get the idea to work with Beyblades...

"That is so cool," Scootaloo muttered before turning to her friends "Why don't we have an entrance moto?"
"I never thought about it," Sweetie said with a shrug.

Fair question.

"Hey guys," Cheerliee called getting their attention "The door is locked and I lost my key during one of our blast off's, can we just take down the entire wall,"

Or, you could simply break open the door?
No? Okay then...

"You guys should probably scatter before we leave, you might get blamed for this,"

That si actually realistic, considering their track record...

"Who does she think she is!" They watched her angrily stomp back to the robot and climb in, a note crumbled in her hands that she handed to Braeburn, who read it aloud while Cheerliee shut the dome.

Yeah! She is acting like she is the princess or something!

Good chapter!
I enjoyed reading it.

PonyDragon
PonyDragon #25 · Jan 27th, 2022 · · · Team Rocket's First Mission ·
Reply

"This is gonna be the easiest mission ever," Braeburn cheered "Not Twilight, no way we explode," The Three ran into trouble immediately after Braeburn's Cheer.

I was about to warn him to never say something like that, but it seems I were too late...

"Oh, my," Rarity said with a smile "I know that gem, it's on display at the shop across the way from my local Boutique, why don't you three come with me, I'd be happy to purchase it for you, as a thank you and good luck to my dear Spikey-Wikey,"

Well, this could have gone worse...
In fact, all things considered that went pretty well.

"She is so going to Twilight to demand answers," Spike cried out "We have like 10 minutes before they come back and Rarity helps her blow us up,"

Aren't they still in Canterlot? I don't think Rarity would be that fast...
Edit: nevermind, it's (kinda) explained later.

"Who is that?" Cheerilee asked as she looked over to see a mare that looked similar to Twilight but her coloring was different.
"My Mother," Spike replied as Twilight Velvet tapped her hoof.

Does that make things better or worse for them?

"This maybe wasn't such a good idea," Spike noted as they went shot upwards.
"Better than talking to your angry mom," Cheerilee countered

Both of them have a point...

Yay update!
On suggestion though: try to reword the first paragraph. I mean this block of text is a single sentence. Try to split it up into smaller parts.

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