• Member Since 24th Nov, 2016
  • offline last seen 59 minutes ago

Miner


All feedback is appreciate​. Also always have a smile.

E
Source

Starlight has always had strong feeling for her friend Sunburst but could never tell him in person. So what happens when Trixies sends Sunburst a love letter she found in her wagon from Starlight? Starlight does everything in her power to get it back. Before he reads it that is what.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 13 )

This is a funny idea :derpytongue2: I liked the bit at the end where Twilight received the love letter haha.

As for feedback, the actual execution of the story could use some work. Two things you should work on are making dialogue read smoothly and sticking to one tense when narrating.

Cheers :trollestia:

9224611
I thought I did a good job, and thanks for the feed back

Okay, that ending was actually really good.

At least it wasn't a lust note.

9224611
I agree. This had a great idea but the execution could use some work. Try getting an editor to review before publishing. Otherwise, looking forward to your next story.

Dreadnought

9225982
Two Years and I barely got an editor to look at another story.

9226004
I've edited stories from time to time. Thanks to the military, my time of late is relatively short, but I could look over a one-shot if you're interested.

Dreadnought

Bad Beatrix...

Hi! Invisi!

9229303
:rainbowhuh: what is invisi?

Comment posted by PearlCrescendo deleted Yesterday

9232161
I believe he was referring to Trixie.

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