An iron weight settled in Carina’s stomach as his gaze fell on the elf. A swirl of emotions filled the changeling, and he struggled to make sense of them all. He wanted to speak to the elf, needed to. He was determined to make him explain himself, unable to accept the brutality that had been used. However, stronger than his determination, and even his desire for answers, he was held back by his fear.
If he was in a calmer state of mind, he might have found it humorous that his determination to overcome his fears would be challenged so swiftly. Sadly, he was not calm, as his quickened breaths would indicate.
Carina could only be thankful that Aurick wouldn’t be able to notice him, as the elf was sitting on a bench faced away. It was clear to anyone who looked upon the sight that he was lost in thought, and the changeling doubted that they involved butterflies and rainbows.
He gazed upon the elf for a short time, his hooves locked to the ground beneath him and his body rigid. He didn’t know what to do. A part of him wanted to walk over and demand answers out of the elf, the other part wanted nothing to do with any of this and told him to get out of there while he could. These two thoughts waged a war in his mind and it was unclear who would come out victorious.
All that stopped the moment that Aurick stood up.
Carina held his breath, hoping that Aurick wouldn’t notice him. Perhaps if he stood still… Aurick turned, his gaze falling upon the changeling. A choked squeak emerged from Carina’s throat, his desire to run swiftly becoming the only thought in his mind, even as Aurick’s eyes narrowed and his gaze turned into a glare. And yet, despite it all, Carina couldn’t move, his legs rooted him to the ground, refusing to remove themselves.
A moment of silence passed between the two, the only sound to be heard was that of a gentle breeze rustling the leaves of the plants around them. All of it ended with Aurick letting out a sound of irritation before walking off. Away from Carina.
The moment the elf was out of sight, the changeling’s legs gave out, sending him crashing into the dirt below. His breathing renewed, quickly gasping for the air his body had deprived him of in the tense moment. He closed his eyes, his teeth grit in anger. Anger at himself.
Once again he had frozen up. Once again he couldn’t face his own fear. This was his opportunity to prove to himself that he could be brave, that he didn’t need to be controlled by his fears, and yet… he failed.
Was this a sign? A sign that he couldn’t change? That he would be a coward for the rest of his life?
No! He… he couldn’t believe that. He didn’t want to believe it. He refused. He wanted, no, needed to get past this. Alae had died because of his inability to act. How could he expect anything to be different in the future if he didn’t change?
His eyes opened, focusing on the last place he had seen the elf. His brows furrowing as a frown worked its way onto his face. He didn’t like it, not in the least, but he had an idea of how to help him become who he wanted to be.
~-~
Ashwyn was conflicted, her heart split in twine and her emotions scattered to the winds. She could scarcely believe the events that had transpired, wished it to be nothing more than a dark dream she could wake up from. It was a feeling she hadn’t felt for a long while. Ever since her escape from him.
She wanted to go back to the way things were. To spend her days snuggled up with Aurick. When the worst thing that could happen to her was an irritating customer. When she felt like she had finally gotten a normal life back.
She was foolish to think that she could have anything of the sort. She was a mutated monster that was dating an alien, who seemed to be on the Princess’ problem solving list. Now they had just finished dealing with a changeling invasion, after she had broken into the changeling hive to rescue her alien coltfriend, only for him to brutalize and kill the changelings in a bout of madness.
To say she wasn’t taking it well would be an understatement. She wanted nothing more than for Aurick to hold her and tell her that everything would be alright. That they could go home and put all this behind them.
It was a stupid idea, born from that small part of her that had refused to face reality. The part that wanted to be protected and be coddled. The part of herself she desperately wanted to give into.
She knew she couldn’t, however. Not after what she had seen. No matter how badly she wanted to go find Aurick, the mere thought of him being so close to her sent a shiver down her spine.
She was afraid of him, terrified even. She knew it was wrong. That he wouldn’t hurt her, but… she had never seen someone act like that. To be so ruthless, so bloodthirsty. Even he, despite his twisted desires, had never looked at her with such eyes.
Princess Luna had asked her if she still loved him, despite all that she had witnessed of him. Even now, with another day almost over, she still couldn’t find an answer. She wanted to still love him, wanted to be able to look past these faults and know that he was still the same kind person that had cared for her when she was weak. She wanted it so bad, and yet, every part of her told her he was dangerous. That she should stay far away from him and hope that he doesn’t pursue her.
She knew exactly where these feelings came from. It was the same part of her that had paralyzed him when they had last met. The same part of her that she had been acting through when she had escaped the lab.
She tentatively labeled it as her instincts. Yet another result from everything that had happened to her at the lab. Yet another thing that she feared, and why shouldn’t she?
She lost control to it and hurt Aurick. Sure he had recovered thanks to the medical staff at the castle, but what if someone else were to trigger it? Would she kill them? Would she be able to stop herself. A part of her told her that she had some control over it. She had consciously fought those guards, despite not knowing the first thing about combat. She was able to stealthily move through the changeling hive and disable their soldiers along her path, despite never having done such a thing before.
Who’s to say she couldn’t harness it again? Though, who’s to say she even wanted to? She never asked for any of this. The only reason she was in Canterlot in the first place was because she wanted to be with Aurick. She never wanted to take down changelings, never wanted to fight mind controlled guards… never wanted to hurt her coltfriend like she did.
She wanted to apologize, and at the same time she felt she was in the right. She had no doubt that if her instincts had not taken over in that moment, that he would have killed Chrysalis. She might hold no love for the changeling queen, but she didn’t deserve to die. Not after being tortured as she was. She might have done some terrible things, but she hadn’t killed anyone… as far as she knew. He was going to far. He couldn’t see reason. He was going to kill her.
All excuses, all true.
Yet, despite it all, she still wished she hadn’t done it. The look he gave her, lying on the ground unable to move, hurt her far more than she knew at the time. It was a look of betrayal, a look of regret, a look of sadness. It was a look of so many things, and it hurt Ashwyn’s heart to think about. It was a moment of clarity for him, and as they shared that look, they both knew that they had done things that couldn’t be taken back.
It was that singular moment that made everything so much worse. She had no idea what to do about it. She wanted to run away and never see him again, she wanted to go find him and apologize for doing what she did, she wanted him to regret what he had done. She wanted so many things and she knew that not all of them could happen. But most of all…
She wanted to understand.
Why did he act like that? Why was he so angry? Why did he have to be so brutal? ...Who was Daena? She wanted to understand, but she never would if she couldn’t speak to him.
A sigh escaped her as she closed her eyes. She knew what she had to do, Princess Luna had said as much, and though it sent a shiver down her spine she resolved herself to do it. Knowing better than to wait and let herself question her decision, she got up and went out to find her quarry.
She had to speak to Aurick.
small correction, "twine" should be "twain"
So when will all this emotional baggage of Auric's get aired out? Everyone's running around in circles acting like Auric's going to explode (again) while nothing progresses.
So close to the Deus Ex thing, yet so far. (It's the same principle too; for all the angsting she does, the primary effect appears to be incredible badassery)
9855530
Most people don't like to raise a fuss, no matter how obvious it is that a fuss should be raised. Most of the lead-up to World War 2 was Hitler exploiting that to do basically whatever he wanted.
I really hate it when authors do this to the equestrian viewpoint on life. Literally the only reason Chrysalis still draws breath is so the equestrians can have that little pat on the back of saying 'even for something so grievous, we don't kill.' If any of them want to save Chrysalis, at this point putting her down is the greatest mercy. She's been tortured, mutilated, and taken to the brink of death. She won't ever fully bounce back from that, magic or no magic, because the equestrians wouldn't want her to bounce back.
It's convenient for their rigidly pacifist egos to keep her from dying, but recovered she'll be a threat again. If Celestia has any mercy for non ponies, Chrysalis will be dead by tomorrow. She's no longer a threat, and she's paid for her crimes against Equestria with all that she is. She's not living anymore, merely existing, and merely for their benefit.
9855577
At the same time she didn't kill or maim anyone. On a civilized nation that means she's not nearly guilty of enough to condemn her to death.
Hell, Auric did more than she did! The only reason he's not the one in jail is due to being on the defenders side and the pony willingness to try and understand instead of instant condemnation. Dude's likely caused as much trauma as the channgelings and certainly more death.
That's not too say I believe he should be in jail, guy this Chrysalis certainly doesn't deserve death.
good chapter my guy. i shall wait for more
9855624
9855577
The moral quandary we run into is based in the fact that the equestrian world (idk it's name) has a different set of 'unwritten' rules of warfare than we do.
By our rules, Aurick's slaying of Alea is a kill acceptable in battle. His tactic of killing one guard and then pursuing only the commander was downright admirable. However, his torture of chrysalis would constitute a war crime.
On the flip side, the changelings and ponies ascribe to different war rules. It is clear that they do not view death as a necessary evil like we do. They seem to prefer to lose a battle rather than accept casualties on either side.
In our world, that would be tactically stupid; but in theirs, everybody lives.
9855624
9856002
Didn't she lose her horn? Isn't it reasonable to believe she'll be imprisoned for the rest of her life, cut off from her children? Did you miss the part where I said death is likely a mercy at this point? When you reach a point where someone is kept alive in such a state not for their benefit, but that of a third or, god forbid second party, them continuing to live is not kindness. Unless Chryssi is better off in her state than I thought, and I mean much better off, keeping her alive is more cruel than granting a mercy killing.
Ever heard of a fate worse than death? Consider the likes of braindead patients, continuing to exist meaninglessly because they had nothing in a living will covering such things and relatives falsely believe they would rather exist as a vegetable than pass on. Again, unless Chrysalis is much better off than I thought, then what does she continue to hold onto that still makes her her? If the answer is nothing, then she has literally nothing left, since identity would be all she had going for her at that point.
9856002
Even that "we" varies with where and when you are in human history. There're times were the simple idea of a preemptive strike would be execrated, others where not committing genocide would be inconceivable. To be quite honest, even nowadays Auric's reaction would be excessive in most western Europe, but perfectly valid in the US. But perfectly understandable for someone from a world that employs mercenary vigilantes (adventurers) to solve their problems.
9856179
How long does she live? She's lost her horn and is imprisoned and hurt as fuck for now, but for how long? I think it's completely unreasonable to believe she'll be imprisoned for life, considering how ponies think, for she's not a corrupted demigod hell-bent on plunging the world in eternal darkness, only a mother taken to extreme measures for the sake of her children.
Let's say she takes six months to heal fully, even if still lacking her horn, how many years will she still live? Fifty? One hundred? A thousand? Will the ponies keep her imprisoned way beyond and sane timeframe? Just in a cell?
Ponies are not nearly as gung ho for revenge as we are. How would it be a mercy to kill someone that is maimed but otherwise only shortly impaired? Should we kill a runner just because they lost a leg in a robbery?
Sure, they lost their "defining feature", are hurt and will face some time in jail, but after that they have their whole lives still. Let's say they do it when twenty and spend the next five years in jail, getting out by 25 with physical therapy to get used to having one leg. They've still got some good fifty years on them to live, be something else, be someone. It's extremely shortsighted to afirm that losing one part of yourself is enough to warrant a "mercy killing" when you're perfectly capable of living without it.
Hell, maybe queens live as long as alicorns. A hundred years of imprisoning (I doubt it'll be more than a decade if even that long) and some permanent trauma don't nearly make it considerable the thousands of years she'd still get to live. In no moment we're induced to think she'll be more than crippled for life - a bad situation, but not an end of the world. Specially when medical technology progressing to the point of said injury being fixable in their lifetime is a realistic proposition.
All in all I severely disagree that there's any reason to believe there'd be any "mercy" in killing Chrysalis. Only the empty vindication of revenge taken in the name of Kindness.
Several chapters, and everything is going wrong. Currently I'm on chapter 71.
Dear author, this story is becoming too dark. Will it go back to fluffy snuggles or the darkness will continue forrrrreverrrr?
Binged the whole thing when I got around to reading it.
Holy hell, do i love this story.
You have yourself another favorite, Mr. Whiskey.
9855624
She just meant to reduce everypony to mind controlled slaves. Not actually better.
9857387
Being stuck in a pod is not slavery. Or mind control, since there's no action involved.
Sure, "coma cattle" is not much better. But Justice is made on actions, not intentions. And when those are considered reasons weight more than plans, specially when your culture is more on the redemption side of the revenge coin.
9857410
They actually put people into the pods, and they were in the middle of a conspiracy to do a great deal more of that. You do not need to have completed a crime in order to be on the hook for it.
9865368
I get to say this from time to time, but... I'll repeat it - if it benefits one of the people I'm thinking of, my mission's complete! ;D So here we go.
The moment the "animal" talks to you, everything you know about "it" is out the window. They may look like animals you know, but the moment it's talking you should be aware that it's not an Earth animal, right? I mean, Earth animals don't talk, like, ever. That should be the first obvious clue that you're not in Kansas any more.
So yeah, I don't get the whole hangup I sometimes see people have. It may look like something you know from Earth, but by the very virtue of talking it's clear that it's not what you think it is, and everything you think you know is automatically void.
Personally, I just automatically switch from "dealing with an animal" to "dealing with an alien life form", in my head. If I were in that situation, even if it turned out that ponies are, in fact, virtually identical to Earth ponies - with the exception of being sapient, intelligent creatures - I'd like to think I still wouldn't freak out like "hurr durr bestiality hurr durr illegal hurr durr vomit vomit"... If I had hangups (because, say, they turn out actually smelling like horses do on Earth - something I can't stand, personally), considering this is another sapient being I could seriously hurt the feelings of, I'd want to explain it plainly. As for the legality of it all, when in Rome...
Besides, they'd be taking a chance on me as well, rigth? And I've seen humans compared to monkeys countless times in HiE/AiE fics, so it's not like they wouldn't have some hangups of their own in these cases...
I mean, Fluttershy probably wouldn't, but that's Fluttershy... think of what I meant there - what you will. ;]
And the days weeks months (in total) I've spent viewing exactly this sort of porn have nothing to do with it!
I gotta say, having just read this start to here over the last few days, I really love this whole thing; the pacing is a bit off, but the characters are so vibrant and interesting, it's wonderful!
Though I do have two nitpicks about Ashwyn and her genetic augmentations:
1) Wolves don't have retractable claws. Their claws are built for traction, not tearing, and would not fit well with what you've described; a big cat would make more sense here.
2) Wolves also don't have the "Alpha and Beta" mentality you described, that's actually a myth based on a naturalist's observations of a wolf family, not a normal pack. Big cats such as lions do however have that mentality to a minor degree, as do domestic dogs thanks to humans breeding them to have that mentality.
Other than that, it looks good!
9865477
And Auric explicitly knows all of this, at least on an intellectual level. Quelling instinctual reactions will take longer.
9922681
Fair, I'm merely jesting.
9922923
I know it makes sense, it's just not wolves that have that hierarchy.
10006504
Not sure if that counts as non-hostile.
That changeling was a scout; an active member of the enemy army. Not every casualty of warfare is actively engaged in battle. Was it excessive by equestrian standards? Absolutely. By Aurick's? by modern American standards? No. It was the killing of an enemy soilder during a siege.
That's most of the conflict of this arc. Something that is totally normal by our world's rules of engagement (and by extension his) is an atocity in theirs.
A bunch of people seem to be mentally skipping over the fact that Chrysalis ordered her mind-slaved soldier ponies to go out and murder Cadance and Carina in the street, and that she was raping Shining Armor. They're also failing to assign the correct weight to the other horrendous crimes she was engaged in, and attempting, during this situation.
New chapter soon? Because I love this story