• Member Since 27th May, 2017
  • offline last seen May 3rd


I think far, far too hard about things. These things include magical ponies.


Once the heir to a Mafia family, now imprisoned for the murder of his brother, Tirek is held on Tartarus Island: the most secure prison in the world. He isn't concerned. Soon he will escape, and nothing will stand in his way.

Third Place Winner in the Villain Exchange Program

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 16 )

Brilliant work. Tirek makes for a disturbingly, engrossingly intense narrator, and the almost silly intricacy of the plan makes the story read like a fun literary puzzle. His co-conspirators are characterized quite well for something so brief. Little details like the name of the bay, the Cerberus analogues, and Tirek's atrophy to match his counterpart add richness to the story, though I am somewhat offended by the attack on the trombone's honor. :raritywink:

All told, great work. I'd love to see a sequel. The Humane Seven have never dealt with someone so driven, and it would make for one heck of a confrontation.

(And remember, when it comes to leaving witnesses, there's no Two Ways about it.)

Thank you! And I’m glad you liked the little references. That Cerberus means Spot is one of my favorite bits of trivia.

Funnily enough, the real escape I based this on was even more intricate. But I figured I could skim over a lot of that in favor of the characters getting focus and getting to the meat of it.

And yeah, driven is the word for him. And very much of the Xykon school of thought regarding power, if you’ve read Order of the Stick.

He also makes an alarmingly good straight man. I’m quite proud I managed to get him stoically murdering a tune on the accordion for entirely sensible reasons. If you feel offended by the insult to the honor of the noble trombone, remember that Two Ways is not meant to be a role model :p

Masterful, masterful work. What more is there to say?

San Germain

This is one of the very best horse pun names I have heard :raritystarry:

This was a great story! So very different from the rest; so tightly plotted and focused. Just enough to stop it from feeling incomplete, but never enough for it to drag. Bravo!

Obviously what more there is to say is from me. Thank you. :twilightsmile:

Glad you liked the style, I tried to keep this one concise. And with a voice actress with a name like that and a city named for a saint, how could I refuse?

Tirek as a mobster in prison... I'm surprised I never considered this for a human analogue of Tirek, because it's obvious, when you think about it. Maybe that's why I like this story so much. It's something new to me, yet the concept fits Tirek so well that now that I've read it, I can no longer imagine him as anything else.

Funny, I don't remember any angels in the Equestria Girls movies. Or were you talking about what Sunset Shimmer turned into in "Friendship Games"?

On a less related note, I've seen other versions of a human Tirek where he's the head of a multibillion dollar company called "Centaur Corp", or the Amish groundskeeper of Canterlot High, or even a student that (along with analogues of Chrysalis, Scorpan, Sombra, Starlight Glimmer, and Discord) has been transferred to Canterlot High from an apparently lawless and now-devastated school.

Further, will versions of other major villains (Chrysalis, Sombra, Starlight Glimmer, Discord, the Storm King, Stygian/the Pony of Shadows, and Cozy Glow) play a role in sequels?

He's talking about the rumors re:Friendship Games yeah.

If I write sequels (I really need to get on writing again...) I'll likely deal with Tirek first. But other villains are out there yes. Which ones to be decided, because EQG isn't a perfect parallel for Equestria and the surrounding lands. But I can say definitively that Discord exists, because I like him as a mad scientist FAR too much to leave alone. And if Cozy Glow exists she's likely far in their future or in a very different form, because as things stand now the School of Friendship is too far out of context to have a reflection.

Author Interviewer

Buh. I love stories exploring what show canon characters are doing in canon alternate dimensions. :D

This was a great story. In only a little time, you gave us everything we needed for an unsettling origin story to EqG Tirek and how he could prove a significant threat to the girls now.

Damn I wonder how EG’s Grogar origins can top that. It’s glorious

This was really good. Glad It got promoted. Deserves it.

Well, I'm impressed. Not only on what you wrote, but at Tirek's stamina. That is a long walk, I'm sure.

God Damn, is there a full-length sequel? I'd read it!

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