Chri330v
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this sound stupid... but also funny as all hell!!!!!!!!!
Allrighty, let's see how this will go.
Aww, only troops from Total Annihilation! Why not from Planetary Annihilation? Or even better Planetary Annihilation TITANS. I feel like hearing your enemy can throw a moon at you would definitely help. Or make a robot the size of a moutan that can step on my accidentally. Or would that be too overpowered? Hehe.
Cool story tho I'm gonna track it.
first real advice to give you: ignore the hate comments that say its a bad story cause it's better to focus on the ones who like it and (like me) give advice to others rather than simply put them down also nice job will be watching with an apt attention
Is this 40K?
Hmmnnn I like yit so far : ) maybe take the slight comedic route? Id love that
9471121 Yeah! Only accept the comments that don’t hurt your feelings and make you believe that you don’t need to improve your writing or storytelling abilities in any way, shape, or form!
9471142
Yes. With a lot of other universes involved
9471245
Ah. You may want to be careful with that.
9471113
Well Warhammer 40k has 330 foot tall mechs.
9471121
9471205
Thanks for the kind words guys.
When will people learn that massively edgy self-inserts from 40k and My Little Pony do not mesh well at all?
Whatever, maybe this will be decent, despite that title.
I've never read 40k and even I know it's God-Emperor. Titles. Need. Capitals. You did it right for the other names in the sentence too, Neptune dammit.
Hol' up. Putting aside the awfully contrived circumstance of all your close relatives dying in a tragic accident (Read: My headcanon is that MC Gary Stu cut the brakes because he's a shit.), being adopted by Discord, the God of Chaos is a bit... Counterintuitive for the God Emperor of Mankind.
As in, when someone who has never touched 40k in their life is questioning the premise of this, maybe rethink your premise. Because I'm 90% sure that the Chaos Gods (Or whatever) are the main bad guys the humans are fighting against in the 40k universe.
"But Discord isn't a 40k character, you're overthinking this!" Maybe, maybe. But this is still a pretty big plothole. Aside from everything else, that is.
Wait. The Equestrians. That race full of peace-loving horses. Enslaving everyone?
Is this a Conversion Bureau fic disguised as Displaced? Because the amount of OOC stupidity this takes is almost hilarious. This is along with the God Emperor of Mankind willingly working with a Chaos God to stop a bunch of blood-hungry pastel ponies from enslaving the planet.
I don't see a "Comedy" tag and you're expecting me to take this at face value. That is certainly... A thing.
Man, imagine being so much of a wimp that you need a Chaos God (who is meant to be your mortal enemy) has to give you inredible power just so you have a fighting chance against characters from a little girl's cartoon show. You really, REALLY me to take this seriously, don't you?
Oh, I missed this:
This is pretty much acknowledging that this will be awful and that you really don't care about writing something of substance. Also no, overkill is rather standard for Displaced characters, because why make a balanced character when you can have THE GOD EMPEROR OF MANKIND FIGHTING MY LITTLE PONY CHARACTERS? I CANNOT GET OVER THIS PREMISE, HOLY SHIT.
It almost makes me want to read the actual story out of sheer curiosity of how much I can make fun of it while still trying to give valid critique between bouts of laughter, but I'm not that cruel. After all, you did warn me beforehand that I might not like this, so I should totally respect that.
Nah I'm kidding, I'm just too lazy to spend another 4 hours ripping into this. Though from first impressions, this is pretty much an above average edgefest of edge. And no, that is not a good thing.
To summerise: the premise makes no sense from any point of view, the MC is a self-insert with a ""tragic backstory"" (Seriously, not even murdered by ponies? A fucking car accident? Have them be executed by Celestia/Luna, give the MC some form of motivation.), him willingly working with what is meant to be his enemy is absurd at best and completely nonsensical and stupid at worst, the grammar is all over the place, the format is more generic than Tesco brand water and generally this doesn't look to be a good read.
But to say this was the only reason I commented would be a lie.
9471121
So do "Hate Comments" to you just mean any form of a negative comment, with or without valid and fair criticism, or does it only count as "hate" when people rightfully dump on a shitty, overdone premise that you happen to like?
I genunely want to know because the vague nature of "Hate comment" leads me to believe that any form of criticism to this section of Fimfiction counts as "hate" for not 100% liking a fucking Displaced story. Yes, it's fanficton, I understand that.
But then again, fanfiction is meant to be creative, a world of endless possibilities right before your eyes, with the massive canon that is the FiM universe.
And yet people like OP here waste said world on garbage like this, deliberately write characters OOC and generally just want to pander to 14-year-olds who really don't give a shit about quality.
Do you see why stories like this get so much "hate"? Because it's a fucking plague on this site. A plague of hack writers ad wasted potential. This is why I comment on trash like this. I want these authors to write something original and creative, rather than yet another fucking "RARR PONIES R EVUL PEW PEW PEW" shlock like this that isn't even ripe for parody by the show itself, that's how bottom of the barrel and lazy it is.
TL;DR Stories like these get hate because of wasted potential and low quality. If that's the case, then maybe the story is bad, rather than the people rightfully fucking criticising it.
9471269
with hate comments, I mean the ones that go "ugh an op mc lame dislike" or "oh look a displaced fic now I know to avoid this" that sorta hate comments cause criticism is good just best in small doses cause if a lot is taken in at once then well that can kill a fic whether it was good or ok or even meh level a lot of negativity can just straight up remove a fic or worse ruin a writers passion
9471269
Your opinion doesn't constitute action on anyone's part.
9471290
Weird flex, but okay.
9471269
your comment was actually more fun to read than story itself, kudos good sir, kudos. To some one like me whom knows a lot of 40k, ho has a lot of books about the subject you can bet that this will spit on it like there is no tomorrow. He could not be God-Emperor because he does not have a empire and is not worshipped as a god sou even the title is wrong. Emperor in 40k is charismatic and cryptic, he never gives a clear answer, his sentences can have multiple meanings. Your comment pretty much corrected all the flaws this has.
9471269
I'm gonna be fair, those characters from a little girl's cartoon show are badasses and probably could thoroughly kick the ass of the majority of humans, with the exception of trained soldiers, experienced hunters, etc. I mean. Rainbow Dash flies faster than sound. Even tiny little foals who are not earth ponies, such as Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, can pull carts laden so heavily with supplies, almost any human would be panting and gasping after trying to pull it for a few minutes. Earth pony adults are even stronger than that. And unicorns have telekinesis.
An ordinary Joe Schmoe human, not a trained Marine with a full complement of heavy weaponry, would need advantages given from someone, such as Discord, in order to defeat ponies.
That being said, literally everything else you said was on target and I'm not even going to bother reading this monstrosity. Why do people even want to write stories where ponies are evil and humans have to fight them? What's the point? If you're not a fan of the show, what are you doing on this site? I understood stories based on Conversion Bureau -- those were less about "I want humans to fight ponies" and more "I am angry at the portrayal of humans in a popular fanfic and I want to respond to that." But if you're not riffing on Conversion Bureau or other totally misanthropic tales, then why?
9471269
9471292 Not all heroes wear my mother’s strap-ons.
9471269
Thank you for the comment
Don't stop. This Wil get gud.
Insentive for not giving up is. Flutter hugs
Great.
9471389
This is amazing work.
9471247
This is true
who the frick keep disliking all the supportive comments like seriously
great story btw
Work on the sentence structure a bit and grammar a tid bit. Especially the I's in the middle of sentences being lower case. Otherwise I'm going to enjoy this. But I can't imagine why Planetary Annihilation stuff wasn't in the list with supreme commander stuff.
https://youtu.be/ZZ5LpwO-An4
Me seeing this
I
You have a message from 'Angry marine ': THAT'S BECAUSE IT DOESN'T EXIST!!!
Oh fuck me he's able to summon genestealers and necrons from warhammer 40k and the annoying enemies from the forerunner robotic soldiers faction in halo 4,5,3 and the fucking OMEGALISK FROM STARCRAFT!? OH FUCK ME!? And the FUCKING SCRION AND THE NOD's BATTLESTATION/DRONE CARRIER!? FROM C&C AND THIER SUPER WEAPONS!? AND THE MUTANT UNITS AS WILL!? AND SUPREME COMMANDER's 1,2 TITANS AND THE ORBITAL TITANS!? (if he has the mod that allows orbital ships to be built) AND THE DEATH JACK FROM WAH!?
WHELP! I expect TFS hellsing ultimate abridged references in this stories
(taking bets)
9471361
I mean, I think its due to showing how ponies are either more peaceful and less warlike than humans, or its set in a time when the humans in question are very warlike, like say, Nazis, or are in the process of expansion, like the Roman Empire
9471361
I think it's the opposite way around -- the person I was responding to was expressing disbelief that a human would need to be granted powers by a Chaos God in order to defeat ponies from a little girls' cartoon. But since those ponies are much more powerful than your average Joe Schmoe human in the 21st century, that disbelief is unwarranted; the Mane 6 could easily and handily defeat any human who isn't a trained soldier (or veterinarian with experience in tranq'ing large animals, or hunter), and could probably defeat most individual lone humans with the modern equipment that one lone human can carry, although I think a group of trained soldiers with advanced technology could take them out under most circumstances. (And if the humans are up against Celestia and Luna, it's going to depend entirely on how powerful the writer thinks Celestia and Luna are. For example, my version of Celestia and Luna could possibly be killed by a sniper rifle headshot to the brain that they have no way of knowing about until it hits them, but no Earthly weaponry that they know about could get through their shielding except very, very high ordnance explosives or a nuke, and in that case, they can teleport. So one lone human from Earth, on Equestria, has almost no chance of defeating the ponies under my headcanons, but another author might have different ideas. Still, even in canon, most humans couldn't defeat the Mane 6.)
That's messed up the pony are enslaving all the other species they are definitely getting karma or better yet justice and death
Oh F yeah I just found this on the internet looking for it or something like it this is cool to more oh and one more thing I would love to know if you things actually exist on the multiversal skate like you know crazy existence like this that's placed things cuz I swear I went to sleep and had a dream that's f****** crazy
When might you be coming out with the ath
9480189
Actually i'll only include the UNSC and the Covenant from Halo. And i don't have the orbital titans from Supreme Commander 1 and 2. Other than that you were spot on.
9487538
Still my BBBOOOIIII MC is OP as hell
Please go ahead, I am intrigued
Sense I know what your goal is, I shall send you another universe that you might like in a near future, if you accept.
[Which means I will tell you a hint of what game (and/or tell you it) I would like to see in the next few chapters, and don't ask what the hint is yet, that's to soon. (I don't think that last part was a good one.)]
When is the new chapter coming up
This is going to be awesome and she better be ready because the god is coming for her
Hy is this story going to get a new chapter
Fuck the haters and were is the emperor's ass at. He's late
9506873
Ya I agree I've been waiting for my
daily bloodshed and slaughter Deus volt infidels
Yo man is the story done or what
You may want to slow the pacing of the story down a bit, because it feels like the plot is running an hour marathon in ten minutes. Other than that, so far so good.
A few things I would like to tell you, one, everytime I see the story title I laugh on the inside. Two, I'm actually going to give the first hint on 8 more chapters, and about the "first hint" part, I'm going to give you a hint in every chapter after that.
F*** yeah man I will distract by the way I kiss you if you were a woman but I ain't gay so where are you girl
When are you releasing the more powerful variant of your Beastmen and your others species and army?
So now the attack's begin... Those ponies have some Karma coming for them.
Also did not see notification of a new chapter... Oh well, it happens-
Will any ponies be redeemable, or are against Celestia's madness?