Chapter 13-2: Open Your Eyes, You Are The Last Faiz
It was only a few moments ago that Ponyville’s citizens were on the verge of a massive brawl…and now the town was covered in Darkroaches.
Twilight and her friends were attempting to keep the fiendish swarm at bay, having also been trying to bring anyone they could to the castle for safety. Anton too, doing what he could despite both his injuries and the pleas of Lyra and Bon Bon. And Tom was still stuck in the forest, trying to get back to his friends.
Amidst all of this, a trio of evil figures were enjoying the carnage from nearby.
“Well, Chronus, I have to say, this is the most fun I’ve seen out of all of these little experiments.” Ouja-Discord said, hoisting a glass of chocolate milk in the air. “A toast to you.” He drank the glass, while the chocolate milk remained, and he then threw the remaining beverage behind him, said beverage exploding upon impact.
“Yes…at first, I was merely content to transform one of those insipid flower mares, but I figured we could kill two birds with one stone…”
—---
“I demand you give me powers!” Spoiled Rich yelled in Ouja-Discord’s face. How she had caught up to him was alarming enough, but now she was demanding that she be given powers!
“And, pray tell, WHY should we?” Ouja-Discord asked. “The only thing you have going for you is the fact you’re a class X uber-Karen.”
“Because I can get rid of those damnable monkeys! I will be rid of them one way or another!” The mare’s stuck up attitude had devolved into derangement at this point.
Ouja-Discord took Idunn-Chrysalis to the side momentarily to discuss the prospect.
Idunn-Chrysalis took a deep breath before her judgment. “No.” Ouja-Discord just nodded.
“Well, ma’am,” Ouja-Discord started. “We appreciate your interest in our organization, but sadly the position you have applied for requires different qualifications.” He said, imitating a job reviewer in hopes of making the annoying mare leave.
—------
“...and you remember how that ended up. She kept following us for weeks!” Idunn-Chrysalis complained.
—-----
“Come on! I want Rider powers!” Spoiled Rich yelled as the trio were sitting at a cafe table. Idunn-Chrysalis rolled her eyes and snapped her fingers as a series of Helheim vines wrapped themselves around the complaining socialite and tossed her into the distance.
—-----
“She was tenacious, I’ll give you that…which did prove her to be a worthy specimen in its own way. Chronus-Sombra mused.
“But, that’s not the only reason, right?” Ouja-Discord asked.
Chronus-Sombra just scoffed. “Of course not. I wasn’t expecting anything much from her - if she succeeds, fair enough, if not, at least the pest will be dealt with and out of our way.”
Idunn-Chrysalis snorted at that. “Two managers with one Karen?”
“But we should probably get clear… those Darkroaches are getting too close for comfort.” Ouja-Discord snapped his fingers and a portal opened. “Ladies first.”
Idunn-Chrysalis rolled her eyes as the trio entered the portal, it closing behind them.
—------
“Lyra! LYRA!” Bon Bon called out in panic. She was using what combat training she had to attempt to make her way through the swarming monsters, to search for her beloved.
Anton, despite his injuries, was keeping up as much as he could. He was swinging his axe like his life depended on it. And right now, it did.
“Darkroaches… of course a monster based on Blade’d have access to them. I put too much stock in the king of morons.” Anton lamented to himself.
“Do you see her?” Bon Bon asked her reluctant companion.
“I can’t see her at all!” Anton grunted. “Damn it! That idiot screwed up!”
“You know something about these things?” Bon Bon asked.
“They’re called Darkroaches, they’re basically a cleanup crew if a Joker Undead wins the Battle Fight!” Anton explained while continuing his attacks. “And we’re the mess!”
He took out the Knight RideWatch and stuck it into his weapon.
“KNIGHT! DEADLINE CHOP!” The axe let off a series of bat-shaped energy slashes that took out a great deal of the Darkroaches in front of them, allowing the two to dive into a nearby building for a temporary reprieve.
“We can…catch our breath in here for a bit.” Anton panted. Bon Bon sighed, and produced an object that Anton had been trying to find.
“My Space-Time Driver!” Anton said as he attempted to swipe it back but Bon Bon pulled it away.
“What are you doing? That Driver’s MINE!” He growled, but Bon Bon instead grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and got in his face.
“You listen to me, and listen well!” Bon Bon said intensely. “Out there is the mare who is the most important pony to me in the entire Celestia-damned world. I am giving you this back temporarily so we can go save her, but I swear to ALL the princesses, if you even THINK of betraying my trust to settle your edgy grudge, no amount of Rider powers is going to save you from me. Am I clear?”
Anton gritted his teeth before sucking in a breath. “...understood. We’re understood.”
“Good,” Bon-Bon said with a nod, before handing him back the driver and injecting him with something. “Now… do what you do best. What I injected you with… it’ll numb the pain for a little while, but you shouldn’t push yourself, got it?”
The driver, attached to Anton’s waist wrapped a belt around him, and even as he twisted his ridewatch into the ‘ready’ position he could feel some of the pain slipping away.
“...can’t believe I’m having to save your ass again, Hero King,” Anton said. “Henshin.”
-----
Twilight was attempting to coordinate the resistance against the invading Darkroaches, her and Starlight working together to erect a magical barrier around the castle to protect the citizens.
“These things are endless!” Starlight said. “What’s taking Rider boy so long?”
“Tom’s fighting just as hard as we are, Starlight!” Twilight replied. “We have to hold out!
Then, she noticed that a father and daughter were surrounded by the fiends…and it wasn’t just any father and daughter, but Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara- Spoiled’s husband and daughter!
“Starlight, I gotta save those two! Can you hold things here? Thanks!” Twilight said in a hurry as she surrounded herself in a magical aura and leapt into the fray.
“Twilight, wait!” Starlight yelped. “...damn it, he’s rubbing off on her.”
As Twilight rapidly approached, the Darkroaches’ count seemed to pick back up, and as she reached the two of them, she formed a smaller barrier to protect them all…but she couldn’t move, they were pinned down! The Darkroaches slammed against the princess’s shield, Twilight becoming more and more strained with each strike… but then she saw a soaring purple blur. It was Spike! And he was surrounded by Starlight’s magic!
“Cannonball!” He rolled into a ball and smashed into the Darkroaches, before hitting them with fire breath.
“Spike!?” Twilight yelped in surprise. “But…”
“Starlight’s idea. She provided the lift, I brought the heat!” The dragon said proudly.
“Going to have words with her later…” Twilight sighed, but felt something tug at her sleeve.
“Princess…that monster…she’s my mom.” Diamond Tiara said.
“Wait, that was Spoiled?” Twilight asked, kneeling down to the filly’s level. Diamond just nodded, tears in her eyes.
“Spoiled has been…not quite herself since that incident at the school,” Filthy sighed, rubbing his temples. “I knew she was getting out of control, but I never thought she’d become an actual monster!”
“Then we have to stop her!” Spike said.
“I know, but… even if she is a monster now, she’s still my mom inside!” Diamond pleaded. Twilight didn’t know what to do, but decided that stopping the attack came before anything.
“Spike, can you get these two to the castle? We can talk about all this after.”
“Sure thing, Twi,” Spike said as he took another deep breath and blew a stream of fire at the Darkroaches between them and the castle. “This way!”
Meanwhile more just kept coming and Twilight was clenching the Agito ridewatch in her hand for luck and to feel as if Tom was right by her side. “...please, Lady Faust, just give me the strength to continue… You and Lady Bonnie. Right now… I could use all the strength I could get to protect my friends… My kingdom.”
Then to her surprise, when she saw a Darkroach getting a little too close to Spike, she reacted the only way she knew how. And that was by punching the creature, the symbol of Agito knocking the foul creature back and reducing it to dust and ash.
“...thanks, Tom. I… I… I lo… Thank you.”
-----
Today was not Tom’s day, upgrade or no. He was currently locked in combat with Another Blade, formerly known as Spoiled Rich. For whatever reason, the Karen-Pony had it in for him the moment she laid eyes on him, and now her rage was unleashed in full force. And because of the power of the Joker Undead coursing through her, he could barely hold her off. Even the DecadeArmor that he had just gained wasn’t enabling him to gain much more ground.
“Seriously, what sort of unholy Karen energy is powering you!?” Tom grunted as Another Blade pressed down on him with her sword.
“YOU EXIST! You came here and ruined everything even more than it already WAS!!”
As their blades ground together, in a shower of sparks, Tom’s eyes widened under his helmet.
“That’s your beef with me?” he said, breaking away and starting to spin the crank on the Ride Heisaber. “That’s why you’re so angry at me?”
“I have done my best to keep the ponies of this town free of any corrupting influences from any other beings! They’re all inferior to ponies!” Another Blade ranted.
“And yet look at what that hatred has turned you into… you’re nothing but a damn hypocrite!” Tom said, still spinning the crank. “Look at yourself in a mirror sometime, assuming it doesn’r crack from how damn ugly you are inside and out! You’re not even a pony anymore! You’re not even a Rider! You’re just a twisted parody!”
“Shut up…you sound just like they do…those ingrates who always complain…I’ll kill you here and now! And then I’ll get rid of anyone who doesn’t agree with me!” Another Blade snarled.
“That’s not leadership… it’s tyranny! Respect isn’t stolen through fear, it’s earned!” Tom said.
“HEY! KIVA!” the Ride Heisaber shouted.
“You’ve become a monster inside and out… but I’ll still bring you back.” Tom swung the Ride Heisaber, as a swarm of energy bats came from the slash and began swarming the monstrous entity.
“Get these winged rats off of me!” Another Blade growled as she flailed around wildly. Tom began turning the crank on his sword again.
“HEY! EX-AID!” it proclaimed as he slashed the Another Rider to hit flashes, each saying ‘Excellent!’ accompanied by 8-bit video game sounds.
“I don’t just have one power on my side… I have the power of my family, the Kamen Riders…” Tom said, firmly as he turned the crank again. “....and my friends, and… Twilight, who I intend to return to!”
“HEY! W!” the Ride Heisaber said, purple and green wind swirling around it before Tom swung the sword, sending a cyclone rapidly spinning towards the turned Spoiled Rich.
“Are you even sure what you’re fighting for anymore?” Tom asked. “What about your family? Your husband and daughter? Right now, because of you, that town you profess to protect is being destroyed!”
Another Blade flew backwards, thrown away by the cyclone’s winds, but then began raging again.
“No…I know what I’m doing is best for everypony! MY VOICE IS THE ONE THAT MATTERS!” She continued raging, flailing wildly at her opponent.
“You’re just doing what you think is best for you!” Tom said, spinning the crank.
“HEY! DECADE!” the sword said, as a line of gold cards appeared in front of Tom before he slashed straight through them and sliced right through the Another Rider. But he wasn’t done yet.
“HEY! BLADE!” the Ride Heisaber said after another crank, and Tom turned on his heel slashing through the rouze cards and again through Spoiled Rich.
“This is the real power of Blade!” He announced, as Spoiled’s energy finally gave out and the Another Rider form disappeared. Her watch fell to the ground, followed by Spoiled herself shortly after. Tom picked up the BladeWatch, and then lifted Spoiled over her shoulder.
“...you’ve got a lot of cleaning up to do, lady.” Tom sighed as he started to make his way back to town.
—------
While all this was going on, the Darkroaches were still battering the barrier between them and Twilight’s castle.
“We can’t hold her for much longer!” Starlight said, cracks already beginning to form and growing wider and deeper with every attack. “That barrier’s going to fall any minute now!”
“...It has to hold, it has to,” Twilight said, her horn glowing and Rainbow along with several other Pegasi in the weather team flying up into the rapidly graying clouds. “It has to hold, Tom will defeat Spoiled. He will. We hold the line here, until we can no longer.”
Jagged lightning bolts rained down on the Darkroaches reducing them to ash with every strike.
“Seems you could use a little help, right?” Tsukasa said, after snapping a photo of the chaos, sitting atop one of the battlements. None of them had even noticed him appearing in the midst of the chaos. “Very well, I suppose I’m interested enough in this little pony world of yours to not let it get destroyed.”
His hologram flickered, revealing his true human self as he slipped another card into his driver.
“Henshin,” he said, as the driver revved up like a motorcycle engine.
“Kamen Ride: Ex-Aid!” the Driver said as Tsukasa leaped down into a massive mecha suit. “Saidaikyuu no powerful body! Dariragan! Dagozuban! Maximum Power~ X~!”
Just landing in Ex-Aid’s level 99 form send several Darkroachs flying and several more fell into an abyss as the mecha suit marched forwards creating a crevice in the ground. Even as Tsukasa sent the roaches flying with frailing arms, they kept swarming and eventually some pulled him out of his suit.
“...very well then, I suppose I’ll have to try something else then.”
“Kamen Ride: Build! Are you ready? Form Ride: Kirincyclone! Best match!” and what looked like runners for model kits snapped together a new suit. A fan on one arm began blowing away more of the roaches.
“Kamen Ride: Faiz! Complete!” the driver said, as red lines formed around Build’s suit, transitioning it into Faiz’s. Decade pulled out a red sword and began slashing through the Darkroaches even as his chest plate opened up.
“Form Ride: Faiz Axel!” and at this Tsukasa became a blur of motion. But the darkroaches were still slipping through even as he took them down. And every one he struck down, three more took its place.
“Damn it, I always hated dealing with these things…” Tsukasa groaned, but after noticing a change in the air, stopped moving completely.
“Hey, what are you doing!?” Twilight yelped, but Tsukasa held a finger in front of his helmet to shush her.
“Three…two…one.” He counted down as the Darkroaches began to disappear as suddenly as they appeared.
“What…where’d the monsters go?” Twilight looked around, confused.
“Kid’s done it. Heh, just like I thought he would. The Karen has been contained.” Tsukasa said as he undid his Driver. A ghost of a proud smile was on his face.
“Then…we’re safe?” Twilight asked, but then a red shot whizzed past her. Another monster had appeared.
“Wait…that’s not a Blade monster…” Tsukasa said, looking the new challenger over. “Mind… It does look like… Two at once eh? And I just undid my transformation… pain in my ass.”
He retransformed, and pulled out his own sword.
“You’re standing between me and my after-battle drink. Reflect on your sins in hell.”
—-----
As the Darkroaches vanished, Anton and Bon Bon took that as their cue to comb the town for Lyra.
“Lyra!” Bon Bon called out.
“Oi! Minty!” Anton also called.
“Where is she…you don’t think she was-” Bon Bon started but Anton stopped her.
“No. Bad,” Anton scolded. “You start that negative talk and everything goes ass up.”
Bon Bon just sighed but noticed another monster, eerily resembling one of Decade’s previous Rider changes about to attack Twilight and her friends.
“Another one!?” Bon Bon yelped. Anton looked, but then he ran over without saying anything.
“H-hey, wait!” She ran after the red Rider.
Decade stared down the monster, but Anton came between the two.
“Sorry, Decade, but this one’s MINE,” Anton insisted. Decade just sighed again.
“Whatever rubs your rhubarb, kid,” He replied as he stood back. “Go for it.”
The monster, with bloody red veins erupting from its body roared as it seemingly ignored both Anton and Decade and went straight for Bon Bon.
“Ah!” Bon Bon cried as the monster grabbed her.
“Put her down, you phony Faiz!” Anton commanded, but the monster just ignored him.
“Of all the Riders to encounter here…” He lamented before growling. “Fine, I’ll make you stop ignoring me!”
Firing a few shots into Another Faiz’s arm, it tossed Bon-Bon aside before striding towards Anton and leaping into its own version of a Crimson Smash.
“I have a duty to take you down specifically…in the name of the De Faiz family!” Anton slid under the monster’s attack, and switched his weapon into its Bow mode.
“Bow before the might of Anton De Faiz!”
“...De Faiz?” Twilight asked.
“...da hell?” Tsukasa quipped.
Anton and the monster grappled, but the red Rider could feel the pain from his injuries flaring up again.
“Son of a…why now!?” He felt his strength ebb as the monster managed to overtake him and toss him aside.
“Anton! Don’t you dare die!” Bon Bon yelled as Another Faiz walked towards her. “Lyra and I won’t forgive you if you do!”
“Argh…easier said than…done…” He grunted as he tried to pull himself back up only to fall to his knees.
“Damn it…I can’t die here! Not now!” Anton thought, but just as the monster was about to deal a critical blow…
“HEY! KUUGA!” a golden beetle of light hit the monster from the side, sending it flying from Anton.
“Just in time!” Tom said, as Anton looked at the new armor.
“Okay, what in seven hells is that getup?” Anton said, considering the armor silly looking even by their exceedingly high standards.
“You’re welcome, is what I believe you were trying to say,” Tom snarked. “Sorry for stepping in when you were about to be crimson smashed.”
Bon Bon walked over and picked the moaning Anton up over her shoulder. “Okay, you’re benched. I told you not to push yourself and it’s sweet really you wanted to defend me but you’re still a massive idiot.”
“I did it…for Minty…” Anton wheezed. “She likes you a lot, you know.”
“...yeah, she does,” Bon Bon replied. “I’m not sure why, but she does. That’s something we can agree on, for once at least.”
Tom, meanwhile, was facing down Another Faiz with the two trading blows.
“Your contract is cancelled!” Tom attempted another quip, but everyone just groaned.
“Make that two things… his one-liners suck,” Bon Bon rolled her eyes.
“HEY! FAIZ!” the Ride Heisaber said as it became charged with glowing red photon energy.
“Can you hear me now? Good, because you’re done!” Tom said, swinging his sword for a finisher before a bright blue orb landed between him and the monster taking the attack. Tom averted his eyes, to avoid being blinded but he knew who this was either way.
As the orb faded, it revealed G-Den-O, right on schedule.
“Not a good time, lady!” Tom complained.
“I’m getting those watches,” G-Den-O said. “Nice day for a two-for-one, too.”
“You’ve already grabbed enou-” Tom said before being cut off by Anton laughing.
“You mean she stole some of your watches?” Anton said, through pained laughter. “I thought you couldn’t be any more of an idiot and then you go and improve on your stupidity!”
G-Den-O looked at the source of the laughter and gritted her teeth. “I’ll deal with you after, asshole.”
Anton looked confused. “Eh? What’d I do to you?”
G-Den-O stopped in her tracks, growling a bit.
“What did you do to me…?” She said with growing anger. “You…YOU…”
“Hey! There’s still a monster here!” Tom said, gesturing with his sword to Another Faiz.
“Shut your hole, TV head!” G-Den-O yelled. “That red bastard…I’ll never forgive him!”
She rushed at the injured Anton before being stopped by a transformed Decade.
“Down, girl!” Decade said as he pushed her back.
“GET OUT OF MY WAY! HE DIES!” G-Den-O shoved Decade out of the way, and readied her own weapon. But Another Faiz suddenly jumped in the way and took the hit, staggering backwards in a shower of sparks.
“Wait, what!?” Tom, Anton and Twilight all asked as Another Faiz fell to its knees.
“I…I cArE fOr HiM…” Another Faiz wheezed out, the armor briefly fading away to reveal…
“Wait…Lyra?” Bon Bon said, swallowing and her throat dry as the desert.
“PlEaSe…hE…wE…cAn bE…HaPpY FaMIlY…” Another Faiz said before the transformation completely gave way, Lyra falling to the ground alongside the FaizWatch.
“Lyra! LYRA, NO!” Bon Bon cradled Lyra in her arms. “You can’t…”
“Oh, but she can…” Ouja said as he pulled Lyra out of her arms and shoved the Faiz watch back into the mare’s chest. “We’re not done with you yet!”
“You…you son of a bitch!” Anton growled. “It was you!”
“Who were you expecting?” Ouja-Discord taunted, wagging his finger and then sipping chocolate milk through his mask. “Sorry, but your little girlfriend’s MINE now.”
“No…give her back!” Bon Bon demanded.
“Yeah…I’m thinking not,” Ouja-Discord taunted, shoving Another Faiz through a helheim crack. “This scenario is just too good to just let it end just yet.”
“You…” Tom snarled, noticing the new slot on the Decade watch, perfect in size and shape for a third RideWatch. “You bastard. Unforgivable. You’re unforgivable. Henshin!”
Tom pulled out the RyukiWatch and inserted it into the DecadeWatch slot.
“FINAL FORM TIME! R-R-R-RYUKI!” Tom’s armor changed, as it started gaining details of Ryuki’s form. The barcode across his chest changing colors and shape, and the TV on his face scrolling to display a Ryuki-like image.
“Hey, Bon Bon!” Tom said, as flames erupted all around him, crackling and burning. “I’ll bring Lyra back! I promise! So believe in me!” Bon Bon nodded.
“You better keep that promise!” Bon Bon said.
“That makes…two of us…hero king…” Anton wheezed.
Tom ignored the last part, but gave a thumbs up. “Yosh! You mind if we put this on hold for a bit, G?”
“...do what you want, you’ll be plenty exhausted by the end so I can take another ridewatch from you anyway,” G-Den-O scoffed. Tom nodded and faced down Ouja.
“Oh, gag,” Ouja-Discord said, pointing his finger at his face, his tongue coming out from under his mask comically. “The lovey-dovey garbage between you and Princess Purple Smart’s bad enough.”
Ouja-Discord pulled out one of his cards. “But if you insist…I’ll show you what happens when you REALLY vex me!”
Slotting it in his staff, he summoned a certain snake which slithered out from an alleyway. But then Ouja slotted in another card, and another, both a rhino and a stingray appearing as well.
“Unite Vent!” Ouja’s staff said, as all three mirror monsters combined into a horned, winged monstrosity with a snake’s head. “Advent: Genocider!”
“So it’s a monster fight you want, huh?” Tom pressed the button on the RyukiWatch twice. “ADVENT TIME!”
“Come on, Dragranzer!”
A large serpentine dragon wearing knight-like armoring came down, flying through the sky with sharp metallic teeth flashing in the sun light.
“Hey kid! I’ll give you a hand, even the odds a bit!”
“Really? Thanks!”
“This Ouja’s gotten a little bit too smug for my liking, honestly,” the Destroyer of Worlds said. Decade pulled out a card and put it in his belt. “ATTACK RIDE: ADVENT!”
A second dragon, similar to Dragranzer but less armored, appeared as well and joined the fight next to its armored counterpart.
“Double Dragons!” Tom said, posing. “It’s time for a double battle!”
The group groaned again, even the dragons briefly losing their composure before returning to a battle ready demeanor.
“Final Vent: Doomsday!” Ouja’s staff said even as the fusion monster opened up its chest, sucking anything and everything towards it. Ouja-Discord himself leaped into a corkscrew kick, but the effect was countered by the two dragons spinning around each other in a spiral.
“What? You stupid overgrown salamanders!” Ouja snarled even as Dragranzer shifted into a bike form. Tom pulled himself onto the bike and gunned it.
“This is payback for the other day!” Tom said, pulling out his Ride Heisaber yet again. The bike slammed into the fusion monster’s leg, causing it to lose its balance. Tom leapt in the air and brandished his weapon, while Dragreder flew nearby and spat a series of fireballs in Tom’s direction.
“Batter up!” Tom swatted the fireballs in Ouja-Discord’s direction -now standing atop Genocider- with the fireballs becoming larger and more intense as he hit them. Ouja-Discord could only growl in pain as the fiery projectiles battered him.
“Argh!” Ouja-Discord fell off the monster completely. “Not losing another pet today…” He opened a hole and the fusion monster went inside.
“Running away?” Tom said.
“You better watch your mouth, brat! I’ll be back to make those dragons of yours into a set of boots!” He said as he also leapt into the portal.
“And look at you,” G-Den-O said, watching Tom struggle to stay standing. “You’re exhausted, how do you even think you’re going to fight me?”
G-Den-O took her weapon and attempted an attack, but Tom stopped it with his own sword.
“I didn’t hear no bell.” Tom said as he stood up, slotting Blade’s watch in and replacing Ryuki’s.
“FINAL FORM TIME! B-B-B-BLADE!” the driver said as his helmet shifted again and silver wings spread from the armor’s backside.
“You just don’t know when to quit, do you?” G-Den-O scoffed.
“That’s Kamen Rider 101. We never give up! You seem to have forgotten that!” Tom stood up.
“Fine…I’ll just have to pry those watches out of your cold, dead hands!” G-Den-O rushed forward but Tom took off into the air.
“You think I can’t hit a moving target?” G-Den-O switched her DenGasher into a gun and took aim. “Shouldn’t be too hard to hit a lame duck.”
A series of shots came from G-Den-O’s gun, Tom flying around them gracefully.
“Stand still!” G-Den-O roared as she began shooting more recklessly and blowing holes in houses.
“I thought your motto was serve and protect?” Tom asked. “How are you protecting anyone? Look around! They’re scared of you!”
Sure enough, ponies were actually backing away from the time police Rider in fear.
“Wait, I’m the good guy!” G-Den-O said. “They’re the bad ones!”
“The only bad guy right now is you!” A colt yelled out, throwing a rock at her with the other ponies nodding and agreeing.
“Why, you…” G-Den-O snarled.
“Just stop!” Tom said. “Whatever your issue is with us, you of all people should know not to involve innocents in your business!”
G-Den-O didn’t say anything, but a train suddenly appeared from a tunnel behind her.
“This isn’t over, Zi-O…” She said as she boarded the train, said train then vanishing through another tunnel.
Tom didn’t say a word, but disengaged his armor. The town was a wreck, and even if he’d beaten Spoiled he hardly felt like he’d achieved any sort of victory at all. Anton was even more badly hurt… and Lyra was in the hands of the enemy.
“I feel… so tired…” Tom said, as Twilight held him in her arms.
—-----
“...and that’s what was written in the letter.”
In Canterlot, Princess Celestia and Luna convened with other nobles.
“Those monsters are growing more and more insidious,” Fancy Pants, minister of commerce, commented. “They’ve done more than enough damage already, but they’ve also managed to get a pony to actively commit treason!”
“Spoiled Rich is currently being held in Ponyville’s county jail until we can decide her sentence.” Luna noted. “As to the matter of the hostage, Ms. Lyra Heartstrings…”
“...why?” Another noble, this one an older mare with a turquoise coat and graying mane, said with tears in her eyes. “Why her?”
“Lady Harpsichord…” Celestia knew why she was so upset. After all Lyra was her granddaughter, whom she doted on.
“Tell me, princess…what sort of sick, twisted monster could kidnap such a sweet young mare?”
“...as it stands, the Kamen Riders are the only ones who can stand up to the Another Riders effectively.” Celestia sighed. She didn’t like anyone so young tasked with defending ponykind, they were all like children to her by this point.
“But we’ve only got the young Thomas Decade! The other one is too much of a wild card, and even then, he’s supposed to be injured!” Another noble in attendance, Prince Blueblood, slammed his fist on the table in anger. “What does it say when we can’t even defend ourselves!?”
“Dear nephew, please compose yourself…” Luna said. “We too, are deeply concerned about our own lack of ability to combat these threats.”
“So what are you gonna do about it?” A new voice rang out, as a silvery curtain appeared behind the solar princess.
“Who goes there!?” Both Celestia and Luna stood ready to fight, the guards also pointing their spears at the curtain.
“Whoa, take it down a notch, Sunshine,” A pink colored stallion walked out of the strange silver curtain.
“Who…?” Celestia was stunned to see someone enter completely undetected, passing through security so easily.
“Eh?” Tsukasa was confused. “Oh, right - my disguise.”
The image of a pink alicorn faded to reveal another human, one that looked a bit like Tom did.
“...Kamen Rider Decade, I presume?” Celestia said.
“No autographs, please,” Tsukasa said as he took a swig from his flask. “Back to the matter at hand… you’re right that as you are now, you wouldn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of doing much.”
“Then what do you suggest? Equestria doesn’t have Kamen Riders like you do, barring Tom.”
“Oh, there’s more than one way to skin a cat,” Everyone gasped. “Metaphor. Just a metaphor.”
Tsukasa made a smaller aurora curtain appear, and pulled out a manila folder.
“Kamen Riders aren’t the only heroes out there. I’ve got the intel on something you might be able to use to give yourself some sort of defense,” he explained. “At the very least you can help take some slack off the kid’s back.”
Celestia took the content of the folder and looked it over quickly.
“...very well, we shall put it to a vote,” She used her magic to quickly make copies of the folder and levitated them towards the other nobles. Tsukasa just whistled at the display.
“Convenient. Remind me to look you up next time I need to make some photocopies.” Tsukasa teased. Celestia just ignored him.
“All in favor of Decade’s proposal?” Gradually, a chorus of ‘ayes’ filled the room.
“In that case, I decree…we shall start laying the groundwork for these new defenders… the Pretty Cures.”
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Kind of wonder who the new Pretty Cures be?
If the Mane 6 will happen to become them, what will Spike get to so he's not sidelined?
Phew, it's been a long time since I logged in FiMFiction...
Anyways. I haven't read the previous chapters before this, but when a friend mentioned that I'm going to like this chapter, I had to give this a read.
Okay, so... I'm probably going to get down-voted to Tartarus and back. I'm sorry Woz, but this isn't good.
It's not about the premise, or anything else. It's the structure of your writing. You see, while the action is done with good intentions, something doesn't clicks to me. So, to put an example, we have this part when Tom is facing against the corrupted Spoiled Rich.
It comes as very simple. It lacks impact, or emotion. I would suggest something like this.
This is just me, but you're abridging the action that comes off as... Soulless. You see, whenever an epic fight breaks out in a Shonen anime, there's emphasis whenever a hit lands, or a big move is performed in order to keep the viewers engaged in the fight. Of course, the moves don't have to hit 100% percent of the time, but to put another example from the story, here.
That's not the correct way, at least from my perspective. Here's how I would do it:
It is not a perfect attempt, though, of my part. The thing I'm trying to say, you need to polish your chops in action. Make them more exciting to the readers, put emphasis on the way every hit lands, or how the process of summoning a special attack goes to make them go "WOW!". Show the characters some emotion if they feel the pain, or annoyance, or they thoughts on the fighting style of the opponent.
I'm going to show a video of a wrestling match, or to be more exact, the ending. Take a look.
You see the crowd's reaction? The impact of the kick, and how the way the sequence went made the crowd go crazy? That's the type of stuff that generates excitement, just putting an example. The way the wrestler uses the ropes to use a diving attack, in order catch his opponent off-guard. However, no one and himself expected the other to launch his signature move to rock his head.
I have to say this as well, I'm not a full expert on this. Heck, if you see my stories here... I'm pretty much still a newbie at this, and no, still not an action piece writen. However, digging into other forms of media such as wrestling, video games, martial arts movies, and shonen anime gave me a drive. The drive to emulate the same impactful action from those forms of media.
Okay, I'm rambling about me. This isn't about me, this is about your story. The point I'm trying to make is to polish the action. You don't have to make it so darn detailed, however. Actually, there's a guy here who can give tips about how to structure an action scene. We can talk through Discord.
That said, if this story ever got to the featured section before this comment... Congratulations. You deserve it, but don't stop there. Keep improving, keep climbing more mountains... Ya get it?
That's all for this.
You know that Twilight’s Japanese voice actor actually voiced Pretty Cure before right ?( She also voiced GulusGammamon in the Digimon Ghost Game, the voice of GulusGammamon actually scaring me)
11769177
wow really i don't know that
Wow, that was intense. Now I'm curious of what'll happen next.
11772382
Pinkie Pie is actually Mari from the Ultraman series, she is Taro’s mother.
I half expected a Sentai to be the solution, but the Pretty cures is amusing and theme appropriate
11854867
Nice video. Hope you make another one for the story because this is getting better.