• Published 24th Sep 2018
  • 2,719 Views, 320 Comments

Brown Note: An Off-Color Love Story - Starlitomega



Clockwork, a pony whose skill lies in repairing nearly anything, has a voice that causes unpleasant side effects to other ponies. Isolated and lonely, she moves to Ponyville hoping for a quiet life. Meeting Twilight changes that, maybe for the better

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Just another day in Ponyville

Clockwork’s home was not an especially rambunctious place. Sometimes she would put a record on, occasionally, she would sing or talk to herself when she knew nopony could hear her. Most of the time however, the sound of clocks, fans, and other mechanical doodads would go on about their business, quietly filling the space with their version of harmony.

Today was not a usual day. Today her home played host to three energetic fillies whose reputation for mischief had preceded them. Twilight had been “kind” enough to refer them to Clockwork to learn the ways of mechanical restoration, and while she wasn’t thrilled about this development, she decided to take it in stride. Clockwork poked her head around her subject’s shoulder out of curiosity.

“Apple Bloom, the cogs aren’t lined up properly. You have to make sure they’re in the proper order before—”

*Sproing*

Clockwork ducked just in time to dodge a spring that fired out of the mantle clock Apple Bloom had been working on. The yellow coated filly looked up from the timepiece and laughed nervously. “Sorry, Miss Clockwork. I thought I had them in there correctly...”

Snatching the tiny spring from the floor, Clockwork smiled and placed it on the table. “It’s okay. In the future, if you want to check the cogs, don’t wind the clock. Just move one of the larger cogs manually. Okay?”

“Got it!”

“Uhhh, Miss Clockwork, I don’t think this is right...”

The earth pony walked to the other table, where Sweetie Belle was given the task of repairing a small watch.

“What’s wrong?”

The tiny filly threw up her hooves in frustration, her voice squeaking quite amusingly. “I don’t even know where to begin. It’s like a puzzle!”

Clockwork nodded sagely. When she first started working on machinery, she too had this problem. “Well, Sweetie, sometimes it is difficult to understand how something works when it's broken. But, there is an easy way to learn how it goes back together.”

Turning in her chair, Sweetie’s eyes brightened. “Really? How?”

Reaching into one of her drawers, Clockwork removed a watch, very similar to the one Sweetie was working on. “Open this one up, and study it. See how everything goes together. You know how to do a jigsaw puzzle?”

Biting her lip, Sweetie nodded.

“It’s just like that. This is the picture on the box,” Clockwork said, pointing at the new watch, “and this is the puzzle.” She pointed to the broken one.

Once more, the filly’s face fell. “But… what if I break it?”

Clockwork smiled around her mask. “Sweetie, it’s already broken. You can’t break it again. Anything you do from this point can only help. You can’t work on something if you’re afraid of it. Now, give it a shot, okay?”

The little unicorn nodded, her lips pursed with determination.

Turning away from Sweetie Belle, Clockwork realized something.

The orange one has been quiet. Too quiet...

Her eyes darted to the other side of the room, where Scootaloo looked particularly busy with her own project. Dashing to her side, Clockwork peeked over the filly’s shoulder. “Hello there, Scootaloo. How’s your project going?”

Scootaloo scratched her head. “I don’t know. I guess it’s going good, but something seems wrong.”

Tilting her eyebrow, Clockwork looked at Scootaloo’s project: a cuckoo clock she had been keeping around the shop, but hadn’t gotten around to fixing yet. When the three fillies started their session, it was in a major state of disrepair. Now, all of the shutters seemed to be on their hinges, the pendulum at the bottom looked straight, and even the hands on the clock looked correct.

“It appears you’ve done everything correctly thus far. Why don’t we try sounding it?”

Clockwork reached behind it and pressed the button to sound the clock. As designed, the doors flew open and a cute mechanical bird rode out on its track until it lined up at the center. The little bird raised it wings and opened its beak just as the bell chimed.

*Whoooosh!*

A plume of fire belched out of the bird’s mouth. Clockwork dodged just in time not to get a face full of flame. She and Scootaloo watched in disbelief as the bird folded its wings up and retreated back into its little door. They exchanged glances, but all the filly could offer was a shrug.

“Okay, I’ll just do an autopsy on that later. That’s probably a pass. Maybe. Eh, close enough.”

Scootaloo pumped her hooves. “Alright! I’m a natural at this stuff! Rainbow Dash is gonna be so proud of me!”

“Right then, don’t get too carried away. Go see if you can help Sweetie Belle, and uhhh, don’t touch the butane this time. I promise nothing any of you will be working on will require flammable materials.”

At that moment, a sound of distant thunder caught Clockwork’s ear.

“That’s odd. It’s supposed to be sunny all day today.”

Walking over to her window, she pulled the curtains open, letting the sunlight in.

“Blue skies. Not a cloud in sight.”

The thunder returned, louder this time, and quicker between each clap. Sweetie turned in her seat, confusion knit in her brow. “Miss Clockwork? What’s that noise?”

Shaking her head, Clockwork made for her front door. “I haven’t the foggiest, Sweetie. I’ll be right back. You three stay here, okay?” she shouted before slamming the front door.

The distant noise got louder and louder, trembling the ground beneath her hooves as she ran closer to Ponyville’s main thoroughfare.

That’s definitely not thunder...

Panicked screams and shouting arose from the marketplace as Clockwork ran up the alley between Sugarcube Corner and… whatever was next to Sugarcube Corner. Honestly, she never gave that building much thought. Turning the corner, her jaw dropped… or would have if her mask didn’t hold it up.

Everything about Ponyville seemed to be fine. Birds were chirping, flowers were swaying in the light breeze that rolled through the town, vendors had their stalls set up, selling their wares to all who might want to buy. Everything seemed just peachy.

Except the twenty five foot tall crab. That was new.

The creature was not only enormous, but looked ancient as well. Its light blue shell glistened in the sunlight, the spots that weren’t covered in barnacles, that is. Its pincers were huge, easily the size of one of the stalls that lined the street. With each step of its tree trunk sized legs, the ground trembled, surely the “thunder” Clockwork had heard earlier.

“Jeez Louise, lookit tha size of that thing!”

Clockwork gasped and snapped around. Behind her were the three fillies who were supposed to be taking shelter in her home.

“Apple Bloom! Girls! What are you doing? I told you to stay home! This is extremely dangerous!”

“Psst! In here!”

Looking past Sugarcube Corner, Clockwork saw Lily, frantically waving her hoof toward them. Clockwork pushed the three fillies ahead forcefully. “Go! Into the house!”

The group of ponies crossed the street as fast as their hooves could carry them. Thankfully, the crab seemed preoccupied with something else altogether. Lashing out with its pincer, it slammed into the spa, knocking a giant hole in the side of the building.

As soon as Clockwork’s tail cleared the doorway, Lily slammed the door shut. Wordlessly, they all ran to the window and stared as the crustacean continued its rampage.

Clockwork sighed. “I hope the spa is empty.”

“Don’t worry about them,” Lily said. “they have a panic room. In fact, almost everypony in Ponyville does.”

“In case of giant crab invasions?” Clockwork said, almost sarcastically.

“Or demonic centaurs, bugbears, parasprites, dragons…”

Ignoring Lily, Clockwork stared out the window at the marauding creature. “I wonder why it came here. I mean, a creature like that doesn’t come from the water just to go wreck things.”

Lily turned, her eyes narrowing. “You wanna go ask why it’s upset?”

Clockwork shook her head. “I doubt it’s much for conversation.”

“It’s them! They’re here!” Sweetie Belle cheered.

Looking back to the window, Clockwork’s heartbeat quickened. Running down the street were six now very familiar ponies, each with a determined gaze in their eyes.

“Fashionably late as usual,” Lily said with a smile.

Clockwork watched in awe as Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack all jumped into the fray. She touched her chest with a hoof. “Oh girls… please be careful.”

Right off the bat, Rainbow Dash peeled away from the group and gave the crab a vicious kick...

...which did nothing since it was a crab and covered in chitin. Burbling from its mouth, the crab swung one of its massive pincers and sent Rainbow flying into a nearby building.

Applejack galloped forward next. Using her momentum, she turned and bucked one of the crab’s legs out from beneath it. Of course, it meant very little considering the crab still had seven legs to compensate. The cowpony moved just in time to dodge another of the crab’s legs from smashing into her.

“You brute! Get out of here, you hideous monstrosity!” Rarity shouted. One of the huge pincers flew toward her.

Rarity leapt out of the way, barely dodging the lightning quick snap of the crab’s claw. “Hah! You'll have to be faster than that to get one over Rarity!”

Looking at the retracting pincer, Rarity saw a large amount of purple hair clutched in its grasp. Turning her head, she gasped. “My beautiful tail! Not again!” Teetering on her rear hooves, she lost her balance and fell towards the ground, just as an ornate red couch slid up to break her fall.

A purple bolt flew over Rarity’s head, striking the crab in one of its eyestalks. The crab covered its eyes while gurgling angrily, fending off the attack.

“You’re not going to hurt any more of my friends today!” Twilight shouted as she flew toward the crab, firing more bolts.

The pincers easily shrugged off her magical blasts. In between shots, the crab launched one of its claws at a blindingly fast speed. Twilight threw a shield up just in time, but she was now struggling to hold it in the death grip of the pincer.

“Oh! Oh no! Twilight!”

Clockwork threw open the door and galloped out.

“Wait, Clockwork! Come back!” Lily called out. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Anything I can!” Clockwork shouted back. Looking around at the vacated stalls, her mind started cataloguing everything at an incredible pace. Her eyes fell upon a fence post with a sharp bottom, perfect for hammering into the ground… or for skewering giant crabs.

Grabbing the fence post in her hooves, she studied the crab as quickly as she could, trying to line up the perfect shot.

Here goes nothing.

Galloping forward, she hurled the fence post. She watched as it sailed through the air… but fell far short of her target.

Grabbing another post, she flexed her frankly underwhelming muscles and called upon her latent earth pony strength. The post soared much further this time, sending it straight to her target. Clockwork grinned as the post sailed through the air and hit the tender spot between the top and bottom sections of the crab’s shell. The crab, understandably perturbed, let go of Twilight and waved its pincers in the air.

“Bullseye!”

Clockwork didn’t have long to celebrate. The crab turned, bubbles frothing from its mouth. Both eyestalks turned straight to her.

Ohhhhhhhhhh buck.”

Turning as quick as she could, Clockwork took off, leading the crab further into Ponyville.

Run, Clockwork, run! Don’t look back!

The earth pony ran for all she was worth, trying to cover as much ground as she could. Unfortunately, the crab seemed to be faster, its thundering steps echoing behind her. Still, she kept running, her eyes scanning every direction until she spotted an alley.

Ha! I know he can’t follow me through there!

Dashing for the alleyway, she narrowly outran one of the huge pincers swiping towards her in anger. Turning the corner she gasped, her eyes bulging wide.

Dead end!

Pivoting on her hooves, she saw the crab line its pincer up with the alley. As huge as it was, it would easily fit down the passageway.

“This is gonna make for one awkward eulogy...”

Attaaaaaack!

Following Twilight’s battlecry, a beam of concentrated magic struck the crab from behind, right between the hard layers of chitin. Throwing its pincers up, the crab turned around and focused on the six mares it had the misfortune of turning its back to. Clockwork capitalized on this distraction and ran out of the alleyway as quick as her hooves would carry her. Galloping away from the scene, she fully intended on leaving the fight to Twilight and her friends…

...but she couldn’t.

I have to help! I must be able to do something!

Ignoring the fact that helping is what got her in trouble in the first place, she ran back to the battle. Putting her analytical mind to work, she struggled to find a solution.

Think, think, think… what makes this thing so dangerous anyway?

At that very moment, Rainbow flew across her field of view, dodging one of the massive pincers.

“Applejack!” Clockwork called out. “Can you get your rope on one of those pincers?”

The cowpony stopped her charge and turned to Clockwork. “Of course I can! Why would I?”

“Just do it! Make sure it’s closed before you do, and then tie it down tight!”

Nodding, Applejack yanked out her rope, quickly forming a lasso. “Rainbow Dash! Keep it busy, will ya?”

The pegasus did a corkscrew above the cowpony, narrowly avoiding one of the pincers. “What do you think I’ve been doing!”

Spinning the rope above her head, Applejack waited for the perfect opportunity. The crab swung wildly, trying to knock the rainbow-maned flyer out of the sky. Eventually, it switched from its left pincer to its right, leaving the left one closed and sticking out to the side.

“Here goes nothin’!”

Applejack loosed the rope, neatly tying down the pincer. Pulling back with all of her considerable might, the lasso tightened, keeping the pincer clamped shut. Thinking quickly, Applejack tied the rope to a nearby lamp post and tipped her hat. “Gotcha, ya overgrown seafood platter!”

The crab, still focused on Rainbow Dash, paid no mind to Applejack’s little rope trick, until it moved to chase down the prismatic flyer. The rope went taut, halting the crab’s advance. Bubbling angrily, the crab moved its other pincer, aiming straight for the rope.

“Twilight! Do something!” Clockwork shouted.

The alicorn’s eyes danced across the chaotic scene until they landed on something useful. Reaching out with her magic, Twilight lifted a nearby stall and tossed it toward the crab’s open pincer.

“Catch!”

Just before it could snip the rope, the crab’s pincer snapped shut on the stall, keeping it from freeing itself. Without hesitation, Twilight snatched a nearby rope from one of the other stalls with her magic and wrapped it around the pincer, effectively disabling both of the crab’s weapons.

Applejack twanged her line and tossed her hat in the air. “Yeehaw! We got him trussed up! Now what do we do?”

Clockwork Charged forward and ran beneath the crab as it struggled against its tethers. “Pinkie! Party cannon! Here! Maximum power!”

Pinkie appeared instantaneously, party canon in tow and with a deadly gleam in her eye.

“Take this! Final ultimate legendary Equestria power super max justice future beautiful miracle dream galaxy big bang little bang sunrise starlight infinite fabulous totally final wonderful arrow—”

PINKIE PIE!” everypony shouted at once.

Fire!”

A deafening boom erupted as Clockwork and the others were thrown clear of the blast.


“Cl..w.rk?”

“Unnnnggh…”

“Clockwork, you have to get up...”

The earth mare turned in her bed. “Mom. I’m a grown mare now. I wanna sleep in.”

“Clockwork? Are you okay?”

The haziness in Clockwork’s head started clearing slowly. She wasn’t in her bed. Upon realizing this, she also noticed that it wasn’t her mom’s voice luring her back to consciousness. Opening her eyes, she saw five worried ponies peering down at her.

“Am I dead? Is this death? I think this is death.”

Reaching down, Applejack grabbed Clockwork’s hoof and pulled her up. “Up and at ’em, lazybones.”

Shaking the fog in her head away, Clockwork nearly fell as Twilight threw her forelegs around her neck. “Thank goodness you’re okay! We were all worried. We’ve been trying for the last thirty minutes to wake you up.”

Blushing profusely, Clockwork gave a forced chuckle. “Heh heh. Uhhh, about that... What exactly happened?”

Rainbow cackled. “Oh nothing! You and the crab just went for a flight, that’s all. Gee, for an earth pony, you sure can fly!”

Looking around, Clockwork realized that she was now on the other side of Ponyville.

“Remind me to never tell Pinkie to go full charge again.” Looking at the ponies surrounding her, Clockwork realized someone was missing. “Wait, where’s Fluttershy?”

On cue, the five friends turned and motioned for Clockwork to follow. On shaky hooves, the earth pony stumbled along, following as they turned and walked around the corner of a nearby house. Her eyes widened at the sight of the giant crab, now anchored down by several ropes. Standing next to it was Fluttershy, who was making a peculiar bubbling noise. She sounded just like the crab did during their battle.

“What in the… how does she do that?” Clockwork asked.

“We don’t know,” Rainbow said, offering a shrug. “Funny thing is, she doesn’t realize she’s making the noises either. You should hear her talk to squirrels.”

Rarity nudged Rainbow with her elbow. “That is not very nice.”

“Yeah, but it is hilarious.”

Fluttershy finally looked back toward the group. “Okay. He says his name is—”

“Karcrios,” Twilight interrupted. “He’s a guardian of the sea. What I want to know is what he’s doing here in Ponyville.”

Fluttershy nodded timidly. “R-r-right. He says some ponies have been excavating the beach nearby, endangering the creatures of the sea. He tracked one of the ponies back here to Ponyville.”

Twilight closed her eyes and nodded along. “That makes sense. Please, reassure him that as a princess, I’ll find the ponies responsible and make sure his beach is safe. If he seems okay with that, release him.”

Fluttershy nodded and trotted back over to the crab. leaving the group of ponies to think amongst themselves.

“How bad d'ya think the damage was, sugarcube?” Applejack asked.

Twilight shook her head. “I don’t know, but clearly it had to be pretty bad to bring the guardian of the sea this far inland. I’ll meet with Miss Mayor and assemble everypony to find out who is responsible.”

“T’ain’t gonna be just one pony. If the damage was that bad, It’d have to be a whole crew,” Applejack reasoned out loud.

“You’re right, AJ. I’ll dispatch some guards to the beach and put them on watch in case anypony else decides to show up and continue the job.”

Twilight jumped as Rainbow flew directly in front of her.

“Yeah, yeah. Enough of that boring junk. We’ve gotta go celebrate our victory, and the hero of the hour.”

Clockwork tilted her head. “Hero?”

“Yeah, hero. As in you!”

Clockwork blushed. “I-I didn’t really do much. In fact, you girls saved me.”

Rarity sidled alongside Clockwork. “Oh, nonsense, darling. If you hadn’t thought about tying its claws, we might have spent hours fighting that thing.”

“Yeah,” Applejack agreed. “That was some quick thinking on your part.”

“Maybe, but hero is a little much,” Clockwork said. “I mean, I was hiding until it looked like things were going bad. Not much of a hero, if you ask me.”

“That’s exactly when ponies need a hero the most,” Twilight said. “It’s easy to be a hero when everything is fine, but when everything is falling apart, it takes a true hero to stand up and do something.”

Rainbow cleared her throat. “Alright, now that that’s settled, let’s go to Sugarcube Corner already! There’s a milkshake there with my name on it.”

The ground shook once more, gaining the ponies’ attention. they all turned to the crab who had just gotten up and lumbered over to Twilight. Slowly, but in a sure and deliberate manner, it lowered its pincer and opened it ever so slightly in front of Twilight. She hesitantly offered her hoof, placing it in the grip of the claw. The crab gently raised and lowered its claw, shaking Twilight’s hoof, and then let it go. Letting out one final burble of bubbles, the crab turned and skittered out of town, its many legs making thunderous sounds as it went.

“Did… did you just shake hooves with a crab?” Clockwork asked.

Twilight stared, her eyes still focused on the crab which was quickly becoming a speck in the distance. “I think I did,” she said, as a smile formed on her lips.

Clockwork’s eyes narrowed. “And none of you think that was weird, do you?”

The six ponies all shrugged.

“I knew I should have retired to Fillydelphia.”

Author's Note:

There’s a reference to a video game in here, but considering it sold abysmally, I don’t know if any of you will catch it. Good luck!