The Stuff of Legends

by Harvs

Chapter 7 - Friendship is "Magic"

Chapter 7

Friendship is "Magic"

"Well what do you suggest we do?" The nagging voice asked, approaching the group.

"I don't know!" The irritating voice replied. "Why don't we ask those guys up there for directions?!" He stopped, folded his arms and turned to the other. After a few moments, his eyes widened and he looked back at the group of six standing in the main hallway. He quickly panicked and ducked behind the other for cover.

"What are you doing?!" The other asked.

"This way if they are hungry, they'll eat you instead of me!"

"Eat us? Preposterous!" Said the talking clock. He walked up to the tallest one of the group and gestured to him. "Does he look dangerous in the slightest?"

Sephiroth just rolled his eyes, wondering if this entire journey had made it hard for people to take him seriously.

The meerkat peered up, noting the enormous sword. "Well when ya put it that way... YES!"

"Oh pish-posh, you're such a wimp." The clock turned to the others. "Sorry about my, eh, I hesitate to say 'friend'."

"Likewise, 'pal'."

"As I was saying, I am Cogsworth, head of household."

"Ha! That's a laugh!"

An unimpressed Cogsworth sighed and gestured behind him. "This is Timon..."

"Whoa. A talking clock." Vinyl looked impressed slash confused.

"And yet another talking animal." Sephiroth added. "I'm beginning to wonder if Chocobos are capable of speech as well."

"Maybe they just don't have anything to say." Yakko interrupted.

"We're getting impressively off topic now." GLaDOS said from the back.

Sephiroth nodded. "Right. Well... I'm Sephiroth. This is Vinyl Scratch, Yakko, GLaDOS, The Pyro, and... Latisha." He said pointing to each one in turn.

"A pleasure to meet all of you. And how can I be of assistance?" Cogsworth asked.

"Well..." Vinyl looked around. "Can you tell us where we are?"

"Why certainly mademoiselle." The clock cleared his throat, obviously preparing for a long speech.

"Oh boy, here we go..." Timon sighed, plugging his ears with his fingers.

"This is Hogwarts Castle. It used to be a school for gifted witches and wizards of all kinds. From the simple spells of levitation." Cogsworth stood on one foot, as if trying to float. "To the crushing power of casting curses. Even learning how to make potions and how to care for various magical creatures." He pointed to some broomsticks laying on the floor to the side. "And of course, what school would be complete without its very own sport? Quidditch is the fastest sport in the entire wizarding world."

Sephiroth interrupted "We don't exactly need a tour. We just need to know..." He hesitated to say why they were really there. He looked to everyone in the group, but none of them knew what to do. Until he got to the Pyro who gave him a thumbs up. Reluctantly, Sephiroth carried on. "Captain Planet. Have you heard of him?"

"Of course we've heard of him." Timon said, waltzing his way up to the group. "In fact, the 'master' of this castle works for him." He made sure to emphasize 'master' with an amount of sarcasm that actually made Yakko jealous.

"Hmm hmmphmm mm hmmph phmm hmmph?" The Pyro attempted to say.

Everyone just stared at the red suited moron. Then, all together said, "WHAT?!"

Sephiroth on the other hand, had unfortunately gained the skills of translating for the Pyro and said, "He asked why you said 'master' so sarcastically."

Cogsworth stuttered a bit, then said, "Well, you see, um... well, h-he's not quite, well not exactly. Not exactly the... b-b-best, uh... master."

"He stinks worse than rhino dung!" Timon interjected, Cogsworth rushed to cover his friend's mouth.

"Quiet! If the master finds out about this it will be our necks!"

"I don't care if he hears us!" Timon shook his fist in the air angrily.

"If you hate him so much," Vinyl started. "then why are you serving him?"

Silence. The two, for once, had nothing to say.

"Well?" She pushed.

"Because..." Cogsworth began, scratching the back of his neck anxiously. "Because he'll have that dreadful Captain Planet destroy our worlds if we don't."

"Traitors!" A voice boomed from above. "You will both pay for your insolence!"

Cogsworth and Timon instinctively cowered and jumped into each other's arms, shaking with anxiety. Just then, from a nearby staircase, a puff of smoke covered the upstairs hallway in a dense fog.

"Who in Equestria is that?" Vinyl asked, shielding her eyes from bright lights as if she were at a carnival.

Through the mist, a silhouette began to appear. It looked to be a pony standing on hind legs and holding its front legs high into the air, as if showing off to the crowd below. It wore a purple cape and pointy hat, decorated with stupid stars and moons and stuff.

"Have you forgotten who saved you from sure destruction?!" The voice called out again, its dark purplish eyes glaring down at the clock and cat.

While Cogsworth cowered from his master, Timon stepped up and said, "It was YOU who tried to destroy our world in the first place!"

"SILENCE!" He roared, Timon rushing behind his companion. "If you will not serve your great and powerful master, then perhaps I should destroy your worlds myself!"

"Who do you think you are?!" Yakko piped up, the pony's attention shifting to him.

"You incredulous pup! Do you not know to whom you speak?!"

"No. I don't." Yakko replied dryly. "That's why I asked smart one."

"Scoff not, young foal." He boasted, the smoke at his hooves clearing to reveal a light blue coat. "For you are in the presence of none other than... The Great and Powerful TRISTAN!" Numerous colorful explosions flooded the upstairs as the smoke vanished revealing the pony. He wore a proud, smug expression upon his face, knowing that he was completely and utterly the best ever.

"Great... Another pony." Sephiroth sighed. "Do you know this guy?" he asked turning to Vinyl Scratch.

"Not really." She tilted her head. "Though he does look really similar to this one pony, Trixie. Come to think of it, she called herself 'The Great and Powerful Trixie'. Maybe she had a brother."

"Nice to meet you." GLaDOS spoke up. "Would you like some cake?"

Timon jumped out from behind the still shivering Cogsworth, "Someone tell the potato to stop offering desserts to the pony!" (10 bucks to anyone who's heard this sentence in any context before...)

"The Great and Powerful Tristan will enjoy cake after your defeat." He boasted some more, holding his head high. "And when the delectable has been devoured, I will tell Captain Planet that I have found two more perfect worlds to extract."

"Exactly what gives you the right to do that?" Yakko asked.

"Hmm hmmph mmph hmm." The Pyro added, holding his candy cane up.

"Because, impudent foals." He began down the stairway. "Anything you can do, I can do better."

"Shall we put that to the test?" Sephiroth asked, raising his sword to challenge the pony.

"You're nothing but a showoff and a fraud." Vinyl added, reaching for her cannon. "If your sister was incompetent, then you won't be any different."

Tristan chuckled. "Oh, I doubt that." He turned his back to them, gesturing to the halls behind him. "This whole castle is nothing but a gigantic library for magic. I've spent at least thirty minutes practicing everything that caught my interest."

"Eh, Master Tristan," Cogsworth interjected. "Wouldn't it have made more sense to have, eh, studied everything the books have to offer?"

Tristan glared down and barked, "If I took my time to actually read, then I would miss out on using the spells! And what do you know? You're just a ticking moron!"

"But... um..." The clock stuttered. "You mean to say you didn't actually read the spells?"

"SILENCE!" The stallion roared, his eyes glowing light blue as a beam of powerful magic shot out of his horn, blasting the ground where Cogsworth and Timon stood. The two were sent flying in opposite directions, screaming all the way until they collided with the walls of the castle.

"Hey! What's the big idea!" Yakko yelled. "He's only trying to help!"

"The Great and Powerful Tristan needs not the help of imbeciles like him!" His horn began to glow brighter. "And he most certainly does not need foals like you telling him who he can and cannot blast!"

Yakko looked at the others and whispered, "Yakko is confused as to when we shifted to the third person."

"GLaDOS agrees." GLaDOS agreed.

Suddenly, another blast of light blue magic rushed down at the group, knocking them all in different directions and leaving a crater in the ground. "The Great and Powerful Tristan will show you why he is so great and powerful!"

Sephiroth rose to his feet and, in an instant, appeared right next to Tristan. Without a word, he raised his sword and swung diagonally at the blue colt. But Tristan was quick to dodge the blade and retaliated with two magic swords of his own.

The two light blue blades engaged Sephiroth while Tristan managed to gain some distance from the swordsman. Though the spell didn't last long, as the angel made short work of the conjured swords and charged toward Tristan again.

Before he could reach him however, the pony managed to cast a spell and split himself into six other Tristans.

"Oh goodie, more cloning nonsense." GLaDOS metaphysically rolled her nonexistent eyes.

He paid the potato no heed, and instead boasted some more. "When I am finished here, and I assure you it won't take long," each Tristan made the same gestures and wore the same brash and cocky face. "Captain Planet will destroy all of your worlds!"

"Not today." Sephiroth retorted, slicing through one of the Tristans instantly. The clone phased in and out of existence, until finally dissipating.

"Congratulations," The Tristans said in surround sound. "You've bested one of my clones. But you cannot beat the real me, no matter how much strength you muster!" The remaining Tristans laughed as their horns began to glow. All together, they fired a beam at Sephiroth.

Though he fought against it, the power of six Tristans was far too great for him, and the swordsman was blown into the stone walls again and knocked unconscious.

"Sephy!" Vinyl called out, galloping over to him.

"Ha! Just as I thought!" The stallions cachinnated in unison. "Not even the acclaimed, One-Winged Angel could best The Great and Powerful Tristan!"

"If I had a nickle for every time this guy bragged, I'd have about thirty nickles." Yakko commented. "It's not a lot, but given the amount of time I've known him, it's quite impressive."

"Oh, and would you like to challenge The Great and-" The Tristans were cut off.

"Great and Powerful Tristan, blah blah blah, yadda yadda, whatever." Yakko imitated, moving his hand like a mouth. "Can we just get on with this?"

"How dare you challenge me! Do you know who I am!?"

"YES!" Yakko caps-raged. "EVERYONE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE!"

Vinyl launched records at two of the Tristans, slicing seamlessly through their bodies "Yakko, stop provoking him!" she yelled.

Just as Yakko shrugged off Vinyl's command, the two Tristans began to phase just like the one Sephiroth had sliced through, and they eventually disappeared.

"Well well well, magic versus magic then?" The four remaining colts asked. "Then perhaps this is where my thirty minutes of almost reading those boring old books will come in handy." Vinyl raised up four more of the records, firing each of them at a different target. "Expulso!" the enemies shouted, as each one fired bright balls of magic at the musical discs, shattering all but one. The missed target made it through the barrage and destroyed yet another clone.

The three remaining Tristans, now extremely irritated, cast another spell. "Stupefy!" The middle Tristan shot a red beam of light out of his horn. It came too quickly for the mare to dodge, and Vinyl was put into an unconscious state, just like Sephiroth. So they are pretty much out of this fight, okay? Okay.

One of the Tristans strayed from the group, approaching Latisha and GLaDOS. "And I suppose you are going to try your hoof at stopping The Great and Powerful Tristan as well?"

"Well," GLaDOS paused for a moment, then spoke, "I won't do anything. But my friend there might."

"Friend?"

Out of nowhere, a green mailbox slammed down through the Tristan, getting rid of yet another clone. The Pyro turned his attention to the last two Tristans, just staring at them. Normally, Tristan would have had something arrogant to say. But the Pyro seemed to take his breath away. they just stood there, waiting for one to make a move.

After a moment of just waiting it out, the Pyro finally made his move, reaching behind him to pull out his flare gun. He aimed it as quickly as possible and launched the little red projectile at one of the ponies. Before it landed, the one he had not aimed for pushed the first out of the way and took the flare.

With the final clone gone, Tristan looked to the Pyro in distaste. "So... That's how it's going to be then." The unicorn's horn once again glowed and he muttered the words, "Wingardium Leviosa!" The Pyro was lifted off of his feet, confused and frightened, he reached for his Flamethrower. "Oh no you don't!" Tristan yelled, throwing the gas jockey into the walls of the castle numerous times.

Tristan finally slammed him into the ground where he lay unable to move.

A slight chuckle from the pony as he admired his handiwork. "Well, it seems none of you foals were a match for I. Was there ever any doubt?"

A dinging noise filled the air, startling the pony. He turned around to see a stage set up as if he was in a game show. Yakko stood behind a pedestal, his hand raised and constantly repeating the word "Ooh!"

Genuinely confused, Tristan reluctantly pointed his hoof at the dog. "Um... you?"

"YES!" Yakko yelled, confetti raining down on him as he cheered in excitement. "Yay! I win I win I win!"

The stallion stared at him, struggling to comprehend what just happened. "How do you function?"

"Well, Hollywood pays me to act, and Steven's a nice guy. A bit of a slave driver sometimes, but hey, what can ya do? I always like to think that-"

"Shut up. Just... shut up."

"C'mon Tristy, lighten up pony-boy."

"You know, Captain Planet gave me orders to only capture you six, but in situations like this, one or two casualties are to be expected." Tristan said gravely as his horn began to glow.

"Oh, I don't think I like the sound of that," GLaDOS began. "Yakko I would suggest Not letting him hit you with that next spell."

"It's no use!" Shouted Tristan. "I spent a whole ten minutes working on this spell, there's nothing you can do!"

He stood on his hind legs preparing to unleash his next attack.

"Clavaca Renadra!"

Silence. They all stood still, waiting for something to happen. But after an entire minute of nothing happening, Yakko opened his mouth. "Do you... do you want me to die?"

"I don't understand!" Tristan exclaimed, summoning a book to him. "I could have sworn that's how it went!"

"Well performance issues are to be expected."

"Blast it all! Why isn't this spell written down in any of these books?!"

"Idunno, a spell that kills people, you think more people would want to know it."

"Unless it was... aha!"

"You got it?"

"Yes!" Tristan stood from his second-long reading session and said, "Cower now you idiot! For now you shall feel the wrath of The Great and Powerful Tristan!"

"Think you've said that enough?"

"Arturo Viagra!"

Again, what followed the spell was a dense silence.

"Wha-... NO!" Tristan panicked, flipping through the book yet again.

"Are you trying to think of the words, Abra Kadabra?"

"Shut up! You're not helping!"

"Well it sure is helping me that you're incompetent." Yakko shrugged, walking away from the stallion.

"Where do you think you're going?! You get back here so I can kill you!" Tristan commanded.

"As riveting as that option is, I think I'll pass."

Furiously glancing through each page for not even half a second, Tristan closed the book and said, "Okay! This time I've got it!" He prepared his body once again and spoke the words, "Kakuna Rattata!"

"I'm just gonna take a wild guess and say that wasn't it either." Yakko said, not even turning around to see Tristan's failure.

"But... But... But he said!" Tristan stuttered. "He told me... the spell..."

"Look, if we're done here, I think we'll just be moving on." Yakko waved, rolling Vinyl's bass cannon along with GLaDOS and Latisha on top of it.

"Wait! I remember it!" Tristan exclaimed.

"Oh boy, I can't wait to see this one." GLaDOS said sarcastically.

"Now you will think twice before you mess with The Great and Powerful Tris... Oh whatever, you get the idea!" He readied his stance and shouted at the top of his lungs, "A Pina Colada!"

Unlike all the other times he had attempted to cast the spell, something actually did happen this time. A cool, refreshing drink with a little paper umbrella appeared right next to GLaDOS on the amp.

"Wat." Tristan mumbled.

"Oh, hey, thanks Tristy! I could use a drink." Yakko said appreciatively, taking a small sip of the delicious beverage.

"This can't be right! Think, Tristan, think!" He paced around for a moment. "What was that phrase that stupid rat would always say?"

Timon looked up from his wounded state. "Who are you calling 'stupid'!?"

Cogsworth rose unsteadily to his feet and answered for him. "Um, I believe it was 'Hakuna Matata'?"

"Yes!" Tristan shouted. "That! I'll try that!" He ran over to Yakko, a crazed look in his eyes, and in mid-jump, yelled out, "HAKUNA MATATA!"

As the nothing happened yet again, Tristan slid to a painful stop on the stone floor right in front of Yakko.

"Are you quite done?" GLaDOS asked. "I don't think it's healthy for you to keep doing... this. Whatever 'this' is."

"I don't know what he's doing," Yakko said to GLaDOS, "but he is doing it to the best of his abilities."

Tristan tried to stand up, looking even angrier than usual.

"You need some help there Tristy?" Yakko offered a hand to Tristan's hoof.

"Get away from me you... you...!"

"Care to finish that thought?" Sephiroth said, walking right behind Tristan.

"Uh..." Tristan searched for the words, but couldn't think.

Vinyl came up from behind as well. "It's over Tristan. You're outnumbered and out of ideas."

Tristan looked around, panicking at his failure. It seemed like there was no way out... until. "You think you've won? You think you've beaten me?! The Great and Powerful Tristan?! Well, The Great and Powerful Tristan has one final trick up his sleeve!" His horn glowed bright blue, magic layering on thicker and thicker. "The Great and Powerful Tristan had prepared for this, admittedly unlikely outcome, and now it's time for you all..." The magic began sweeping around the group, blinding the heroes with the intense light. "TO DISAPPEAR!" And with one bright flash and a sonic boom, the five heroes who surrounded Tristan were gone...

Comments

[Harvs]

Chapter 7 is up. Very sorry it took so long for us to get this chapter up, it's just very hard for us to find time to actually sit down and type the story. We will try to get the chapters out faster.

[RagingDemonSlayer]

Lol wasn't expecting Timon and Cogsworth, funny though continue!!!!!

[Tadpole]

STUPID CLIFFHANGERS! :(