• Member Since 30th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Commissar Rarity

You call this romance, Charlotte?


Everyone has a journey in their life, a place they have to go. A road they must walk. But all journeys must come to an end. Even Twilight Sparkle's.

Cover from 'a walk in the forest' drawn by Ventious. Used with permission.

Featured on Equestria Daily on Dec 1st 2012.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 23 )

Read the rough draft and liked it, read the final version and still did. My feelings are mixed about this piece- as they should be. It's supposed to be depressing, yes, but it still has tinges of reminiscence and hope to it. I felt the language was reasonably strong throughout, and I especially liked the change from flashbacks to the portions of Twilight's letter. Good job.

I'm here from EQD :moustache:

Aaaaand there goes the manly tears T3T


So they turn into the Elements when they get called back to the castle?

That's the obvious implication, after all.

But it doesn't mesh with the previous transfer of the Elements from Celestia and Luna.

All in all, it was... nice... but overplayed its hand too heavily.

1721622 Close, but not close enough.

This is truly one of those stories that can actually make you feel.
Well done.

Well......shit. :fluttercry:

Very well-done and thought out, as well as well-executed story.

LIKEFAV - Sorin "Kalreas" Kanire

Feels man, feels:fluttercry: I'm probably gonna be a wreck when people that are actually real start to die. Oh and also : A BITTER SWEET ENDING YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! that just makes my feels more intense, so thanks. Thanks for writing this amazing story. This is my third and last edit, so good bye.

This story is one of the most epicest of all the epic things i have ever seen and i am judging fairly by all the epicness of every epic thing in my universe. :pinkiegasp:


Interesting, care to elaborate a bit?

Essentially Twilight is returning the elements themselves to the ancient castle. Much like the Ring in Lord of the Rings desired to return to Sauron, the elements desired to return there when the bearers began to fade. The bearers went to the castle because of the elements' desires. Twilight was the only one with access to the physical elements, so it fell to her to return them.

I feel this makes more sense in my head.

1721463 I agree, and love the reference.

Man... that was really hard to not cry! Excellent writing.

Pardon me as I go sob uncontrollably over a purple pony. And I'm proud of it.

Ok. I didn't cry manly tears but there were a few parts that did get to me. So No tear but feels were giving. Nice job my friend

Well..........FUCK YOU HAD TO MAKE ME SHED MANLY TEARS AGAIN i JUST FINISHED ANGEL BEATS TODAY AND THAT CAUSED ME TO HAVE THE FEELS AND NOW THIS........YOU......YOU MONSTER :raritydespair::raritydespair::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry:

Very good indeed, I didn't cry though, know sure why, haven't cried in a while, I really want to though. Anyway, a good ending indeed, love how she dies (so I believe) practically where she began her journey. I, Truly, love the feelings you get from each of the characters passing's, although I feel that RD always being the first a little redundant, but, personally, that's just me, I like to write things no one would usually think of. Moreover, very good indeed, keep it up, good day.

omg. this was so incredibly beautifully written. It made me want to give up as a writer because I knew my work could never succumb to this. It was sooooo good! Cant get over how spectacular the writing was. Like seriously

Wow, that took the Dark tag and made every other Dark story look like a stroll through candy-land in comparison. Holy, snot that was morbid, suffocatingly so even. I'm gonna go be sad now for a little bit.

So I guess it was the elements (pony) returning to their place (or something like that) but I had interpreted this as a metaphor for life and the inevitability of death. Like The Call is the bell that tolls for your life, and you just know. After all the struggles of life and loss of close ones, the end comes to represent a kind of sick salvation amidst hopeless life. Man, that just made me think...

Honestly, I just can't over how much impact this had on me. Thanks for bringing something different and full of depth to the table. It was getting depressing with all the shallow shipping one-shots. I didn't think people could write such amazing Dark like that anymore. You've earned my respect, and I hope I can write like you someday.

Wait. So, the other Bearers... went there for no reason whatsoever? If they were compelled to return the elements, but they didn't HAVE them... And then why didn't Twilight give Rarity, Pinkie, and AJ their elements? If she knew what the Call was, why not give it to them so their final journey doesn't have to be in vain, or... :rainbowhuh:


Wait. So, the other Bearers... went there for no reason whatsoever?

Unfortunately, yes.

And Twilight didn't figure out the Call until around the time AJ went, at which point it was too late to do anything but go herself.

just re-read it, forgot i had commented, laughed at my past self, and cried at the story. Would you mind Pm-ing me the meaning and everything? I've been racking my brain but can't figure it out

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