Awesome Police Do Equestria

by ROBCakeran53

3: Hitchin a Ride

Applejack stepped out of the passenger car and onto the station platform, drawing in a deep breath through her nose, and released it out her mouth.

Canterlot. It sure stunk.

She didn’t let the thought bother her, however, as she made to collect her bags and large crate. She was supposed to be meeting Twilight’s parents who offered her a place to stay while she was visiting, and expected the unicorns to gladly offer some magic assist in dragging her supplies to their home.

Or if not, she was a strong mare.

However, as she approached the luggage car, she found her bags and large crate of produce being inspected by… a large bipedal creature in a police uniform.

“Howdy there, partner! What can I do ya for?” Applejack asked.

The creature, stroking his very impressive mustache, continued to look over a clipboard held in his other hand. His large aviator sunglasses reflected the clean white paper, and she couldn’t tell if he was looking at her, the clipboard, or really anywhere else.

“Is this yours, ma’am?” he, clearly male sounding, finally asked. He tapped her produce crate with the clipboard.

“Sure is! Why, is there an issue, officer…?”

“Please, you can call me by my first name, Mister.”

“Mister!? I ain’t no stud! I’m a mare!”

“Yes, I can tell.”

“Then why’d you call me Mister?”

“I didn’t. You called me Officer.”

“Well what else would I call you?”

“Mister.”

“Mister what?”

“Mister Officer.”

Applejack blinked, and could already feel a headache coming on. She let out a defeated sigh, and knocked a hoof on her crate. “Officer-”

“Mister Officer, I can’t have random mares calling me by my given name.”

“Fine. Mister, I’d appreciate if you told me why you’re inspectin’ my crate here.”

“Oh, I’m not.”

Applejack blinked. “Yer not?”

He shook his head, but then looked down at her, glasses sliding down his nose so his eyes bore into her over the top of the lenses. “But should I?”

“No! It’s just apples and other Apple made products! There ain’t nothin’ else in there.”

Mister Officer stroked his mustache again.

“You say that, and yet, you brought it up, which makes it highly suspicious. Sergeant Reckless, what do you think?”

“She smell goodly!”

Applejack jumped as a mare appeared beside her, sniffing her blonde mane. She had the socks and blaze of a pinto, yet her accent was very thick and unfamiliar to the Apple mare.

“Smells… goodly…” Mister Officer said as he wrote on the clipboard.

“Look, uh, officers, I’m waiting for some ponies, and unless there’s an issue I really need ta-”

“Oh?” Mister Officer interrupted, turning on his heels towards a large black and white carriage. “Do you mean… these ponies?”

He opened the read door, and out stepped Twilight Velvet and Night Light.

“What!?” Applejack exclaimed, and then feeling a tug on her tail pulled it out of the munching maw of Reckless.

“Hiya Applejack! How are you sweetie!” Missus Velvet rushed over, giving Applejack a hug.

“How’s it going?” added Night Light, giving the mare a pat on the shoulder.

“I’m fine! Just, uh, what’s with…” she pointed to the large bipedal.

“Oh, it was just the strangest thing, dear. We were on our way down to meet you at the station, you see.”

“Because we like to be punctual,” added Night Light.

“Hush, honey, let me talk.” She turned back to Applejack. “Anyway, we were on our way here, when all of a sudden there was this awful wail of a siren, and Mister Officer swung around in his horseless carriage.”

“Shouldn’t we ask what a horseless carriage even is? Why is it horseless?”

“Hush honey. He tells us important ponies like us shouldn’t be out wandering the streets, so has us join him and brought us here.”

While Twilight Velvet told the story, with her husband’s occasional insertions, she watched as Mister Officer and Sergeant Reckless loaded her bags into the trunk, however hesitated at the massive crate.

“And here we are!” chirped mister Light.

“Police escort! What a thing! We knew Twilight being a princess was a big deal, but this was just a fun little addition! He even let me drive!”

“It was absolutely horrifying!” exclaimed Night Light with a forced smile.

“I no scared! Reckless brave!” said the police mare.

“In the line of Justice and the American Way, only those of the most vile can frighten me.”

“Ooooookay. So, uh, what, they’re gonna take us to your place?” asked Applejack.

Both of Twilight’s parents nodded. “Yes, just as soon as they figure out how to load up your large crate here.”

For once, Applejack’s mood changed as she chuckled. “Well, about that.”

She gave the crate a swift buck, and the four sides and lid fell to the ground, revealing a produce cart.

“I’m selling my wares, so figured it best to bring a whole cart. They wouldn’t allow it on the train without restraint, so I figured the best way were to crate it up.”

Mister Officer leaned forward, inspecting the harness which had been swung upward for more clearance. “Interesting… no matter, we’ll figure out how to hitch it up.”

The large being escorted the three ponies into the back seat, although Applejack had to, again, swat at the police mare as she tried to chew on her tail. After a few moments, Applejack felt a sudden jump in the rear of the vehicle, and then stopped.

Mister Officer got in the front left, and with the turn of a key started the monster that was under the hood, and they were off. Looking around, Applejack noticed a severe lack of one police mare.

“Uh, Mister Officer? Where’s your… uh… Reckless?”

“I didn’t have a hitch to properly attatch to my squad car, so she’s in the trunk.”

“In the trunk?”

“Hitched to your cart.”

“My cart?”

“So we’re pulling it.”

From the outside, a sudden exclamation of cheers and jubilation came to be. Finding a crank handle, Applejack rolled down the right rear window to look out and behind her, the open trunk having blocked anything from view out the rear window.

Seeing her cart weaving side to side, the form of Sergeant Reckless was barely seen in the trunk, whooping and laughing as she hung on for dear life to the rear bumper, having clearly been yanked out of the trunk upon the police man’s harsh acceleration.

“Mister Officer! Your sergeant is gonna fall out!”

“Deputy Sergeant Reckless will be fine. It’s in her name.”

The next fifteen minutes were a blur for Applejack, between constantly checking to ensure her apple cart was not, in fact, gone, nor the mare attached to it. Or watching ponies ahead of them diving for cover and making holes in traffic so they could speed through intersections that had green lights.

At one point, Twilight Velvet had jumped up front, her head sticking out the right window while her tail wagged with excitement and glee. Beside her, Night Light grabbed onto Applejack’s arm for support, the stallion unable to stop shaking, yet his charismatic smile never waivered.

They finally reached the Sparkle home with a skid of four rubber tires squealing on cobblestone.

“Oh, that was so much fun!” Twilight Velvet cheered, bouncing in her seat.

“Glad I could be of service, ma’am,” Mister Officer said with a tip of his hat.

The three ponies exited, and found a giggling Sergeant Reckless unhitching from the apple cart. A few more minutes, and another swat of Applejack’s tail, and she was unloaded and on the street corner.

“Take care now!” Velvet waved as the vehicle began to drive off.

“Please never come back!” cried Night Light, still smiling as he waved.

Applejack looked at her apple cart, and the fact the two wheels had shrunk considerably from wear.

The vehicle rounded a corner, and was gone.

“What a nice lad! I’ll grab your bags, dear. Light, honey.”

“Sure thing, dear. Once inside however I need to go cry in the bathroom for several minutes.”

Using their magic, Applejack’s two suit cases and set of saddle bags were floated along towards the house. The farm mare continued to sit on the street curb, and with a sigh opened a compartment to retrieve an apple.

From around the opposite corner, the police vehicle came around the bend at high speed, tires squealing and siren blaring. Applejack could only blink, and in that time the vehicle skidded to a halt beside her, Mister Officer half hanging out his window while Reckless sat in his lap, drooling.

Both were staring at Applejack.

Or her apple.

“Two bits per.”

Four bits were tossed to the curb, and Applejack tossed two clean, crisp apples at them. Reckless caught hers in her mouth, while the bipedal in his hand.

He inspected the apple, then with a nod, pulled out the very familiar clipboard, scribbled something on it, and tore off a slip of paper. He reached over to place it on the orange mare’s muzzle.

Applejack blinked, and watched the vehicle drive off once more.

Her eyes narrowed, focusing on the paper, only to realize in horror it was, in fact, a ticket.

Selling goods on the street without a license.

She sighed. The fee was four bits.

Author's Note: