• Published 17th Apr 2019
  • 4,329 Views, 44 Comments

Accidental Matchmaking - NaiadSagaIotaOar

A case of 'My sister doesn't like you so let's hang out to piss her off' at first sight.

  • ...

'My sister doesn't like you so let's hang out to piss her off' at first sight

“... and we are absolutely, definitely, no questions asked, not going anywhere near Sunset Shimmer,” Adagio declared, concluding her presentation of The Plan with a flick of her wrist and a bold flourish of the chalk she’d been scrawling on the blackboard with. “Are we clear?”

“... but she’s a bitch, so I thought it’d be funny to screw with her and do the exact opposite of that,” Aria explained to Sunset.

Sunset squirmed—the bathroom stall Aria’d dragged her into didn’t leave much room for them, but it was out of Adagio’s sight and scheming on a budget hadn’t left many better options.

“Ah,” Sunset said. She blinked, then held up a quizzical index finger. “Sorry, what did you have in mind, exactly?”

Aria shrugged. “I dunno. I guess, like, hang out and stuff. Piss her off, y’know.”

“Ah. So hanging out, just… more dangerous and edgy than usual?”

“I was going more for ‘badass’ than ‘edgy,’ but sure. Been too long since I was a good bad influence for someone.”

“Most people wouldn’t celebrate that.”

“Siren, remember? Bit more to it than lazing about in skimpy loungewear and bitching at the world for not building you a palace unprompted.”

Sunset’s mouth hung open for a moment, and then she shrugged. “Fair point. So, um…”

Aria started to reply, when, in the distance, a faint, grating screeching grabbed every other sound in the building and battered them all into hushed, demoralized silence.

“That’s Adagio. I should go.” Aria opened up the stall door, then turned. “We’ll, I dunno, set some fires after school sometime?”

“Not that, but sure.”

Adagio took the news pretty well, when she’d presented her plan for the day and Aria stood up to reject it.

“... So, while I’d love to go out ‘shopping’ and give you an opportunity to assert your dominance with large quantities of hair and cleavage, no. Sunset and I are going to a gig tonight.”

Aria stepped outside the door, and paused. One second passed. Two. Three.

She ducked.



Aria slammed the door behind her, cracked her neck, rolled her shoulders, and grinned. It’s gonna be a good day, she thought as she tread down on the phone book Adagio had thrown at her.

The bliss of making her entire day a metaphorical middle finger to Adagio’s face dried up awfully quickly when she reached the sobering realization that it was still Sunset she’d be hanging out with. Sunset, whose aura of unfalteringly trite happy-go-lucky naivete was palpable and whose reaction to the sea of spikes, tattoos, piercings and eye shadow was a quiet kind of wonder.

“So,” Sunset asked, folding her arms—which were sheathed in edgy, trying-too-hard black leather—as she walked next to Aria. “Who’s playing first tonight?”

Aria shrugged her shoulders—which were wrapped in badass, if-you-like-your-fingers-don’t-touch-me black leather. “ ‘Kicking Babies’.”

Sunset nodded. “They any good?”

“Dunno, haven’t listened to them in a while.”

“But you’ve liked them?”

“They’re death metal. They’re not trying to make you ‘like’ things.” Aria stifled a scoff, picturing Adagio scowling and fuming at home and letting that image make her smile as she tuned Sunset out.

The music started, and the world’s best kind of discord ushered her into a furious nirvana.

The music raged, pounded, and died a slow death, as all things must. One last heavily distorted chord was the tombstone, one last growling chorus a morbidly dignified funerary dirge.

And then there was Sunset, giddily giggling in brazen defiance of the gloomy event horizon every other soul in the building had long since passed.

To say it was embarrassing wouldn’t quite have been right—the moment Aria had discovered the feeling of shame, she’d found the part of her that made that feeling, savagely bit it out with her teeth, and never spoken of it again.

But it was annoying, so she dragged Sunset to the gloomiest of corners, the darkest, loneliest place in a sanctuary of absence and desolation.

“Could you keep it down, please?” Aria hissed under her breath. “People are trying to hate the world, and it’s hard if there’s someone enjoying it.”

“Oh. Oh, sorry.” Sunset cleared her throat, trembling with residual excitement. “Are they always like this?”

Aria glanced towards the now-empty stage. “Eh. They’ve never been the same after they decided to one-up their competition by setting themselves on fire. They’re still intense, though.”

“They were definitely that. I guess tuning is too conformist for some?”

“Tuning makes you a puppet of The Man.”

Sunset giggled. “Or of the twelve-year-old boy, if it’s Drop-D.”

“You are so awful, you—” Aria paused mid-eye-roll and—not eagerly, because eagerness was for the pointlessly hopeful—focused her eyes on Sunset. “Did you just make a shitty guitar joke?”

“Yeah, not my best, I know. Uh, hang on, maybe I can—”

“Yeah, but it was a shitty guitar joke.”

Sunset’s eyes brightened as her grin returned. “Oh, right, gotcha. Yeah, I play a bit.”

Aria cocked an eyebrow. “Electric? Or bitch?”


Gears turned in Aria’s head. “You know…” She cut herself off, remembering she was talking to Sunset, and rolled her eyes. “Oh, but let me guess: Daisy Rock?”

“What? God, no!” Sunset scoffed indignantly. “No, I’m not prepubescent, I don’t have a Daisy Rock. Try Flying V.”

Aria underwent a mild existential crisis.

Sunset frowned worriedly. “Is everything okay? You’re kinda spacing out.”

“Wha? Oh, right. Yeah, uh, totally. No, I’m just kinda freaking out because I’m allowed to like you now and it’s kind of turning my world upside down.”

Sunset shrugged her shoulders—which were clad in sorta-cool-if-you-squint black leather. Her mouth opened, then her attention twitched away from Aria. “Oh! Looks like the next band’s…”

“Huh? Oh, right.” Aria cleared her throat, and an initial wave of applause and tumult drowned out her mumble of “We’re seeing each other again.” By the time she finished saying it, Sunset’s hair had started whipping, and she couldn’t help but join in.

The garage, Aria’s home-away-from-bedroom, had almost gone quiet.

“... You are a hair’s breadth from being dead to me.”

“Oh, come on.” Nervous giggles spilled out of Sunset like she was a toddler’s freshly-punctured balloon. The shame she felt was palpable as the echoes of the first few aborted notes of her peppy pop-rock song faded away. “That’s not fair.”

“Fine, you’re not dead to me.” Aria rolled her eyes. “But there’s six feet of snow on the ground, the nearest shelter is on top of a mountain, there’s a bear on your heels, and you’re naked.”

Sunset tilted her head, then looked down at herself and shrugged. “...A hypothermia patient's gotta do something to get to the front of the hospital queue, right?”

Aria refused to follow Sunset’s gaze—she didn’t want to feel like Sunset deserved a compliment. “Seriously, though, what the fuck? You blew the money on something this cool and then only use it for boring shit like that?”

“No, I only use it for ‘cheerful’, um… stuff.”

“Same difference. C’mon. It’s a guitar. You’re wasting its potential by stifling it like that. You’re clipping its wings by playing it when you could be rocking out with it. You’re—anyway. We’re here to rebel against Adagio’s oppressive regime, and that means we want to tell all those wholesome boundaries you might’ve liked to fuck off and die screaming in the deepest, loneliest pit we can find.”

“Huh. Okay, yeah, I’m game.” Sunset looked at Aria for a moment, looking as though she was about to say something; her smile changed for a moment.

Aria lifted an eyebrow. “Something wrong?”

“Hmm? Oh, no, just the opposite.” Sunset ran her fingers over her guitar, looking down at it thoughtfully. “I was wondering why you bothered with this stuff when you had your magic, but I think you just answered it.”

“Yeah, well. Siren magic’s great for ‘look at me, I’m the prettiest,’ not so fantastic for ‘eat a dick’, y’know?”

“No, but I think I understand.”

“Good.” Aria killed the moment with fire before it could infect any more of her time. “Right, so, Adagio and Sonata are probably gonna be back in a half hour or so. Let’s give this another try.”

“Okay,” Aria said, half-smiling as a final flick of her wrist sent a jagged, badass chord out to pummel the weak, conforming air into submission. “We’re gonna do it exactly like that, just less like we’re perky schoolgirls and more like we’re crotch-hunting sledgehammers.”

“... So after she threw you out, Adagio said I was grounded,” Aria said as she sank a little deeper into Sunset’s couch, “and then her voice went so high I couldn’t hear her anymore, so I just kinda sat there and stared until she got bored and stormed off to her room.”

Sunset nodded sagely. On the screen in front of them, at the behest of Sunset’s fingers and the controller they grasped, a violent defenestration sent a torrent of person-bits into the air. “Siren thing?”

Aria nodded. Her virtual representation skateboarded down the side of a skyscraper slick with sticky person-juice. “Siren thing.”

“So if you’re grounded, how’re you…”

“Oh, she probably knows I’m gone by now. I’m just hoping she doesn’t know where you live.”

“Huh.” Sunset looked contemplative for a moment, then eyed the game console they’d been glued to. “I could bring this the next time I come over, you know.”

Aria looked at Sunset. “Hmm?” In her moment of distraction, a monster truck pancaked her character into the ground.

“Oh, well. If you stay home, but also play loud video games, you’re kinda doing what she asked you to do, just, y’know, totally not doing what she wants you to do.”

Aria thought for a moment, then grinned. “I like the way you think.”

It was like nothing had changed except for the scenery; only half-aware of how she’d ended up there, Aria sank into her couch, eyes idly glued to the television in front of her while Sunset joined her.

“I’m kinda surprised you don’t have anything like this yourself, to be honest,” Sunset said as she picked up a controller.

“Eh.” Aria shrugged. “I had other things to do, and pissing off Adagio wasn’t worth it until it started being funny.”

Sunset nodded. “How is she, by the way? The way you talked about her, I’d think she’d have some choice words when you came back home after last time.”

“Well, first of all, I had about sixty bajillion texts with pictures of all the ‘fun’ she and Sonata were having without me.”

Sunset tilted her head and looked to Aria. “When you say “ ‘fun’ ”, what do you…”

“Oh, she and Sonata apparently dragged your old boytoy out to a mall with them, dressed him up like a ballerina, and then ran about ninety thousand skimpy outfits by him so he could think about all the action he wasn’t getting.”

A pause, and then Sunset giggled. “You’re showing me those pictures later, because that sounds adorable.”

Aria cracked a leering grin and suavely leaned back on the couch. “Then I found a dismembered mannequin painted and dressed like me in the garage.”

Sunset’s eyes went wide. “Wow. Sounds like Adagio—”

“So she actually took it pretty well, all things considered.”

“Oh. I’m impressed.”

“Yeah, she doesn’t believe in half-assing.”

“Talking of which…” Sunset groped for the remote, jacked up the volume, and threw her head back to hurl out a theatrically exaggerated cackle.

Aria’s lips spread into a broad grin. “Yeah, Sunset!” she shouted. “Kick his ass! Stab hi—oh, that motherfucking horse!—no, no, stand by that big plate thing—fuck yeah!—up the club, skewer that—”

Just as Sunset whooped with the pure unadulterated joy that could only be brought out by wanton virtual cold-blooded murder, a slamming door upstairs made the whole building shake.

Aria and Sunset shared a look, then snickered.

Upstairs, another slam, a startled, girlishly squeaky “D—Dagi? What’re you—?” and then another slam heralded Adagio’s meteoric descent down the stairs, dragging Sonata by the arm to, without once acknowledging Aria’s existence, march out the front door.

Aria and Sunset shared another look.

What followed was, without question, the most satisfying high five of Aria’s life.

The real trick to being rebellious, Aria knew better than most, was making it not just a habit, but a lifestyle. Which meant practicing it in the times most people wouldn’t.

Take lunch, for example. She could’ve just sat down next to Adagio’s seat, business as usual. Instead, as she neared the table, she stood in front of her seat, took a step to the left, and craned her neck to peer through the crowd of shambling, lunch-seeking students. “Hey, Sunset, over here!”

It didn’t take long for Sunset to show her smiley face. “Hi Aria!” She eyed the table. “Where’re…”

“Ah, don’t worry about it.” Aria gestured to the chair she’d have sat in any other day. “Hey, why don’t you take this one? I wanna… have a better view of the windows anyway. Or something.”

“Sure. So. How’re things?”

“Ah, y’know.” Aria dropped herself into the chair in front of her. “Adagio’s probably had a few violent hate-frigging sessions this week, so I’m calling it a good one.”

“But she hasn’t, like… I dunno…” Sunset sounded vaguely concerned, which was probably a good way to be talking about Adagio.

“Nah, she’ll be fine. We’ve pulled this kinda shit on each other before. She’ll fume for a little while, but once she gets her act together she’ll figure out some way to get back at me, and then I’ll get back at her, and then we just kinda spiral off into an endless cycle of bitchcraft.”

“Huh. Well, I’m—”

A flicker of Sunset’s eyes was the only warning Aria got before a mass of shiny fluffy hair filled her vision and a warm, shapely mass tightly squeezed by skanky, attention-demanding fabric plopped into her lap. “Wha—Adagio, what the fu—”

“You were in my spot,” Adagio said, calmly pinching her fork between two dainty fingers as if it wasn’t a squirming badass teenager she was sitting on. “But it’s still my spot.”

A growl rumbled up out of Aria’s throat before she heard a cheerful, Sunset-ish giggle and her “Don’t be a lil’ bitch” instincts kicked in. She cleared her throat, coolly folded her arms—she gave up trying to look past Adagio’s gigantic thundercloud of hair after a moment and settled for boring into it with her eyes—and said, “So, does this make you my lapdog now?”

A snicker from across the table turned her defiant stare into a smug one.

Adagio set her fork down and leaned forward. It would’ve been impressive, how seamlessly she could shift from, “Domineering bitch-queen from Tartarus” to “Hopelessly distressed damsel,” if the resulting simper wasn’t so grating.

“Sunset, you—you’re the magic expert around here, aren’t you? Go around solving magic problems, that kind of thing?” Adagio leaned forward, and her whisper took on a conspiratory tone that might as well have been a slap in Aria’s face. “My chair’s talking to me. Think you could look into that one of these days?”

Aria clenched her teeth, something white-hot and roaring blazing to life in her heart. She opened her mouth, ready to let that furious torrent reveal itself—

—Adagio slowly, calmly stood up, flicking her hair just so to flash a glimpse of her rarely-seen, obnoxiously smug rump. “Well, girls, it’s been lovely, but all this talking’s ruined my appetite. See you around!” she sang as she sauntered off.

Curling her lip, clenching a hand into a tight fist, Aria started to rise only to stop when Sunset leaned across and put a hand on hers. “Hey, let it go. We’ll get back at her later anyway, right?”

Aria glared at Sunset, then at Adagio’s undulating, increasingly-distant backside.

“Yeah,” Aria said eventually. “Yeah, we will.”

Later that afternoon, the sounds of Aria and Sunset’s guitars had just started to die out, a hectic, frenzied song concluded. Aria huffed out a breath, slumping into the couch. “You know…” She looked upwards, towards what she knew to be the floor of Adagio’s bedroom. “She hasn’t stormed out yet, and she hasn’t come down to yell at us either.”

Sunset frowned. “Huh. I hadn’t realized, but yeah, we’ve been at it for a while now.”

Aria swore under her breath. “She might be getting better at tuning us out.”

“You think so?”

“One time, she went a whole day pretending Sonata didn’t exist so she could have a funeral for her old hair drier in privacy. She can be awfully hard to distract, when she puts her mind to it.” Aria sank back into the couch, folding her arms. “Which means loud noise might not cut it anymore.”

Sunset put her controller down and tilted her head thoughtfully. “What if…” Her voice petered off for a moment, and then she cleared her throat. “No, that’s, um—”

Aria cocked an eyebrow. “What were you thinking of?”

“Never mind.” Sunset waved her hand. “It’s stupid.”

“If you’re trying to discourage me, you’ll need a different strategy.”

“Fair point!” Sunset giggled. Then she turned to face Aria. “Right, so. It’s not just the noise Adagio dislikes, right? She’s also not a fan of you spending time with me.”

Aria nodded. “Yep.” She felt an unrequested-but-not-unwelcome smile playing on her lips. “Where are you going with this?”

“What if, in front of her…” Sunset swallowed, biting her lip—a faint blush came to her cheeks. “... we kissed?”

Aria looked at Sunset for a moment.

“Bitchin’,” she said,” let’s do it.”

“You’re sure? If you don’t want to, I’ll—”

“No, really, I’m just retroactively deeply offended that it took so long for you to suggest it.”

“Alright,” Aria said, checking the time on her phone. “I think they’re coming home soon.” She eyed the front door to her house, then looked to Sunset. “You ready?”

“I think so. How are we gonna… y’know, like just a quick peck, or—?”

“Eh, I was just thinking we’d wing it. Scheduling it’s sucked a lot of the fun out of it anyway, I bet. No reason to make it worse, right?”

“Fair point. Right, so—”

“You don’t have to, you know. I mean, if you’re having second thoughts or performance anxiety, I’d, you know, I’d get it. We could, like, turn all her clothes inside out or something, if you—”

The door opened.

Aria tensed, froze, and suddenly a pair of lips were mashed against her own. She didn’t know who initiated it—it had happened just the same, and it made her feel warm and sexy and—

“Hi girls!” Sonata chirped as she skipped past with her trendily flouncy skirt swishing merrily. “I wanna cook, so keep your smooches out of the kitchen, ‘kay?”

Aria’s eyes went wide; intimately close to hers, Sunset’s did too. They separated quickly, and the pleasant heat from the kiss quickly turned into a flustered, frantic one.

And yet a pair of darting glances showed no sign of Adagio.

“One sec,” Aria said, gesturing absent-mindedly to a still-dazed Sunset as she lurched after Sonata and cornered her in the kitchen. “Sonata, is Adagio with you?”

“Hmm? Oh, no, sorry—” Sonata shoved a big bowl into the microwave, pressed a few buttons, then spun to face Aria. “On the walk back, she saw a cute couple taking a selfie in the park, so she photobombed, flashed them, and then ran off cackling while their new crippling inadequacy set them on a path for a nasty breakup.”

Aria blinked.

Sonata blinked.

“At least she didn’t charge them for the privilege this time,” Aria said.

“I think they tried to throw some money at her as she was going, though.” Sonata turned and eyed the microwave as if it shared her tendency to burst into action the second it looked like she had even the slightest bit of attention. “But that’s the last I saw of her. She’ll probably be back in a bit.”


Aria stared for a moment, then abruptly spun on her heel and hurried back to Sunset.

Sunset faced her, coolly. Aria went up to her, with exactly none of her usual thuggish swagger compromised by the warmth in her face, and stuttered—suavely stuttered, because she was Aria fucking Blaze: “So… I guess we’ll have to do this some other time?”

A pause.

There was a faintly audible ding, and then Sunset shrugged and nodded. “... I’m pretty okay with that.”

Aria nodded—she was very definitely not pleased, not really, just totally ambivalent because duh who the fuck would be stupid enough to turn down an offer to kiss her again what was that pounding was that her heart why couldn’t she shut that damn thing off—

She shook her head. Then nodded, and—suavely, still—leaned against the door. “... You know, she’ll probably be even more pissed if we’re better at it—

Sunset kissed her, Aria felt warm and fluttery and sexy, and Sonata crunched loudly on a piece of popcorn.

Aria and Sunset looked towards Sonata, who was sitting with a big bowl of fresh popcorn in her lap, unblinking eyes trained squarely on them.

“Oh, don’t mind me,” she said, waving her hand and doing the exact opposite of looking away.

Aria rolled her eyes. “You’re making it weird, Sonata.”

“... and one of the most iconic landmarks of this great old city was its Great Library. It was founded by Star Swirl as a repository of knowledge, a shrine to the nine goddesses of the arts—the Muses, as they were called—and it endured up until…”

The teacher droned on and on, his voice somehow combining the inexhaustible drone of a manic beehive and the timeless stupor of a sloth drowning in honey.

Aria rolled her eyes. She peeked underneath her desk, where she cradled her phone in her hands, extracted the essence of her current state into a word, and sent it to Sunset via text.


A few moments later, her phone buzzed. Yeah, same. Know this stuff from horse.

Aria frowned. … ‘horse’?

Faster to type.

Ah. Cool.

A moment passed. Aria rested her cheek on her palm, letting her rolling eyes drift towards Sunset, who sat two rows over and sent a weary look in return.

Aria muttered, then looked up at the ceiling. Then she tilted her head and eyed Sunset again.

… Are you wearing lipstick?

Sunset looked down at her phone, then over to Aria. She shrugged. And then she winked coyly. Coquettishly, even!

And let it never be said that Aria didn’t respond to coquettish winks like a champ.

Aria flipped through her textbook, then picked up her phone.

I’m gonna send you a dick pic.

She heard a stifled-but-audible snrrk, and glanced slyly over to see Sunset covering up a rebellious smile. Sunset stole a look, then almost let out a snicker when Aria sent a text and waggled her eyebrows.

A pause. Sunset snickered again, then lurched to stillness when the teacher twitched, though she couldn’t hide her dopey grin.

Aria’s phone twitched.

… This is a picture of Star Swirl.

Aria and Sunset shared another glance—the former shrugged.

If he’s too small, I’ll find you another one, but he’s the biggest dick I have on hand.

Sunset covered her brow with her palm.

“Hey,” Sunset said as she caught up to Aria, after class had come to a merciful end, flashing a perky grin. “You doing anything after school?”

Aria stuffed her hands into the pockets of her fetchingly-torn jeans. “Planning that far in advance cramps my style. Why?”

“Oh, I was just wondering if you… maybe wanted to stop by Sugarcube Corner with me afterwards. Get milkshakes or something.”

Aria hesitated for a moment. First time Sunset had suggested something outside of the ‘screw with Adagio’ goal, and that was what she’d come up with? “Oh. Like… on the way back home, you mean?”

“Y—yeah. It’s pretty much on the way for you, right?” Sunset’s own enthusiasm seemed to be waning a bit too.

“Y’know, I… should probably walk Sonata home. Don’t want her getting lost or anything.”

“You live, like, five blocks away. How lost can she get?”

“Last time? Saddle Arabia.”

“Ah. Well, um. She could come too, if she wanted to?”

“Eh… babysitting’s kinda shit, as far as first dates go.”

“Oh. Oh, you, uh…” Sunset faltered slightly. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

Aria’s heart chose that moment to inflict sadness upon her with its perverse witchcraft.

“... Y’know, just, like… stay home this weekend, text me an address sometime, I’ll wander over or something, and we can skip this boring awkward talky crap.”

It wasn’t much, but Sunset’s face brightened. “Sounds good! See you… sometime, then?” Sunset had already started walking away, but she kept facing Aria long enough to wave her a goodbye.

“Yeah,” Aria said. “Let’s go with that.” She doubted Sunset heard that, so she set off.

She could give Sunset a chance, right? She’d gone along with the whole Adagio scheme.

Surely she could think of something more fun, right?


Aria stared at the lanky, temptingly-fragile gateway to the stygian hellhole Sunset had dragged her out to: a coffee shop that somehow managed to be obnoxiously inoffensive.

“Seriously?” she said. “This is the best you could come up with?”

Sunset let out a long sigh of relief. “Oh, good, I was worried it was just me. Wasn’t sure what else to suggest, though. Do you wanna go try to find someplace else? There’s plenty of time to—”

“Nah, I walked, like, a mile to get here, and I’m never getting that time back.” Aria looked to Sunset and leered. “And I’m not gonna pass up something to give you shit about later.”

She didn’t see Sunset’s playful indignance, as she’d already started in, but she heard it taking form in a voice: “Oh, that is dirty.”

“Yeah it is.”

For the next few minutes, Aria put her Boring People Things filter on and a delightful haze of apathy fell over the world.

When it lifted, she was sitting across a table from Sunset, who was talking. “I did have a few other ideas, actually. But I thought I’d play it safe for now and y’know, save the bank robbery for the second, um… date.”

Clarity and moist, throbbing vigor sprang into Aria’s overcast world. “Okay, I’m gonna need you to stop that train of thought, because either you’re joking and I don’t wanna be disappointed or you’re not and I am so down and we can’t talk about it in public.”

“Let’s… maybe file that one away for when the world-hating and Man-sticking hits ‘blaze of glory’ territory.” That was such a Sunset thing to say.

Aria nodded. “That sounds cool.”

Sunset nodded. “Right.”

A moment or two passed. Aria’s BPT filter started to make a comeback, which… left her oblivious to almost everyone, instead of everyone like usual.

“So, um.” Sunset dithered. “I haven’t been on a date in… a long time.”

Aria shrugged. “Eh. Same as what we were doing before, basically, right? Just less of the pissing off Adagio and more excluding all the less-hot people.”

Sunset giggled. “I guess so, yeah. So, talking of Adagio…” Pause for dramatic effect and cheeky grin “…she’d probably flip out if we broke the news to her, right?”

A moment to reflect, and then Aria matched the grin with her own. “Fuck yeah, she would.”

“You wanna do that soon?”

“We have to now, right?” Aria let out a ghoulish cackle, then pursed her lips. “I hate to say this, but I’m thinking we cut her some slack afterwards, though. She was annoyed enough the other day that I was worried she was gonna get the guillotine out.”

“... You have a—”

“Sonata thought it’d be good for cutting pineapple.”


And then there was silence.

Silence and coffee.

Sunset eventually looked around. “This is really boring.”

“No shit.”

“I know a place that does an open mic thing. Wanna do that tonight instead?”

Aria rolled her eyes. “It’s probably run by those jackasses who freak out whenever you start singing about how the world’s gonna end so there’s no reason not to arson. How’re we supposed to have fun when there’s someone like that involved?”

Aria paused just long enough to straighten her sexy leather jacket and brush some of the fresh coat of dust off before turning, flipping off the bouncer who’d just punted her out the door, then jamming her hands into her pockets and trudging off down the sidewalk. Sunset followed along beside her, casting a withering glare over her shoulder periodically.

They walked a little ways in dead, furious silence, then turned a corner that took them out of sight of the bar.

And then, the sound of merry giggles burst out of hiding to keep the exhilarated tapdancing of Aria’s pulse company.

“That was amazing!” Sunset sang, gleefully grinning as she raised her palm for Aria to smack it. “I thought for sure we were gonna be disappointed when you hit that bit about the babies and the dismembering tree, but somehow you kept it going!”

Aria snickered through teeth clenched into a leering grin. “Well, y’know. When it’s only the bleakest of nihilism that gets you out of bed in the morning, this kinda thing comes pretty naturally.”

“No idea how that works, but I love it!” Sunset practically dove forwards, hurling her arms around Aria’s neck and diversifying the practices of her tongue.

Which Aria was pretty cool with. No startled squeak—who’d be that lame?—and certainly no breathy murmur of a sigh; who had time for that sappy shi—fuck it she wasn’t gonna lie about enjoying the perks of a hot, um… friend-with-bene—nope, too long, fuck it, girlfriend it was.

They stopped when a jackass pedestrian started staring, flipped him off in unison, and then started the walk home pressed to each other’s side.

“I could get used to this,” Aria said.

“I’m kinda liking it so far too,” Sunset replied. “Wanna knock on Adagio’s door and tell her it’s official?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

“Hey, Adagio, I’m—”

A long, deep moan punctuated by wet smacks and the rustling of fabric being shed beat Aria’s sentence over the head with a brick, made it go down like a limp sack of potatoes, and chucked it out the window.

Sunset and Aria stared for a moment.

“So,” Sunset said at last. “Um.”

Aria blinked.

“Oh, Sonata…” Adagio’s husky, sensual voice, which grated on Aria’s ears with all the grace of the world’s angriest curbstomp, suffused the air with indefatigable awkwardness.

Aria blinked.

Something flew through the air and landed on her face.

“Huh. So that’s what that feels like,” she said as she tugged Adagio’s freshly—and very enthusiastically—removed bra from her head and flung it aside.

“We could come back later,” Sunset suggested. “Make the announcement another day?”

“Eh.” Aria shrugged. “Formalities are bullshit anyway. Wanna head back to your place and skip to the consummating part?”

Sunset quirked her lips, then nodded. “That sounds pretty good.”

Comments ( 44 )

“We’re gonna do it exactly like that, just less like we’re perky schoolgirls and more like we’re crotch-hunting sledgehammers.”


This was great. Really.:twilightsmile: :pinkiehappy:

You can do comedy well, too? Now I feel wholly inadequate.

Ya know, I just wanted something to mindlessly ponder existence with while I had some tea. I ended up learning, like, eight new words. That was entirely unexpected.

I aim to surprise! Which words were new for you?

You're too kind :twilightblush:

Thankies! Glad you enjoyed :twilightsmile:

That might be one of my favorite lines from the story :pinkiehappy:

Let's see; tumult, defenestration, simper, ambivalent, stygian, coquettish. There are a couple others but I didn't write them down. I think they just rolled off so smoothly that I figured: I'll remember 'em if I see 'em again, or I didn't think they were awesome enough to put in my Awesome Word Book lol

Defenestration and ambivalent are probably two of my favorite words in the English language, so I'm glad you've been introduced to them :twilightsmile:

What if Sunset's in a relationship and done it with all 3 at once?

I can’t imagine what the pavement must be like that defenestration would lead to person bits. Unless this is like 20 stories up I suppose.

9573388 Can confirm: pavement made of lasers.

That sounds impractical, dangerous, and ridiculously awesome.

9573519 Not great for the planet, either, with the amount of energy required to keep it running. But, you know, pavements gotta pave and stuff.

This is the first one-shot in a very long time that has had me dreading the moment I'd reach the end and yet so voraciously consuming it I had to restrain myself from skipping lines in my nigh-desperate desire to see what happens next. I so badly want more, but like the video game Portal, more might be just a pleasant aftershock to the orgasm earthquake that was the genius of the short, sweet, and near perfect entry we have here. 100/10, gold star, you won the Internet.

Wanderer D

This was an awesome read, the dynamic between the two was amazing, and I love the fact that despite it being a one-shot, we do get a sense of time passing and their teasing/offending Adagio was going on for a while. Didn't expect the ending, tho which makes it even better

Good job!

Been done, cant remember name of it... but its been done

I can absolutely see why! Given your propensity and trudged acclivity toward language and -- from what I see here -- having a freedom-loving spirit, I bet we could have a pretty dope, kindred conversation together. Keep it up, mon ami!

I'm always down to meet new people, so you're welcome to drop me a line sometime if you want to chat :twilightsmile:

Thanks, that's very high praise! :twilightblush:

I'd started writing this one back in September 2018, then pretty much sat on it an hour's worth of editing away from publishing until a day or two ago, so with that track record I'd not expect to see any more soon, if ever at all.

Then, uh, she'd be in a very different story, so, like, anything could happen I guess?

:yay: Awesome, I'm glad you liked it! The passage of time was something I was a little iffy about, since all the scenes are so short and the transitions so jumpy, so I'm really happy that aspect came through okay :pinkiehappy:

The world really does need more SunAria in it, it's just a good ship, one of the best~

And you pulled it off magnificently as well, excellent work! All of my favorites and kudos to you :heart:

Enjoyed this, it was entertaining. A little choppy for me with the rapid scene cuts but it was fun.

Yeah! It's not like Sunset Shimmer locked herself with the Dazzlings in the Principal's office then steamy shenanigans occurred.

I've never been a fan of shipping Aria and Sunset—too similar, in my mind—but I also never portrayed Sunset in this way. Perhaps the goody-goody thing makes more sense, but I always saw her as, like, the middle ground between Twilight and Rainbow; street-smart with riff-raff tendencies but with a stronger moral compass and straight As.

This, however, was fantastic. The concept alone deserves props for its simplistic brilliance (seriously, very annoyed that, during all of my musings on Aria and Sunset, I never once came up with an idea like this), and your execution was equally stellar. About halfway through, I began to formulate the complaint that this was a one-shot rather than a series of six or so chapters in which each scene/date/interaction is really expanded upon, and then I realized that I was wrong. The pacing and structuring of these shorter, more snippet-like moments was perfect for this story.

I'm a big fan of character interaction-driven stories like this, where nothing particularly special or exciting happens, and the story is mostly just two characters jaw-jacking and fucking around for a bit. To say you nailed that vibe would be an understatement. As an Aria obsessive, I am very happy to report that this is among my favorite depictions of the character I've seen to date. That dry, sarcastic wit, the spiteful, bitter, "fuck-you-Adagio-munch-my-nuts" attitude, all wrapped up in a fantastically tsundere, emo package... It's exactly up my alley.

If I had to complain about something (and, if you know anything about me, you know that I do), I would say that some actions are described in a kinda wordy, vague sort of way (the example that comes to mind is when Adagio yeets the phonebook at Aria. Very funny, but I feel like it might maybe have been able to be worded a bit better?). In any case, this is a solid story, and I will forever resent you for coming up with and executing this concept so well before me so that I can't do it and reap all of the glory.

Good work, is basically what I'm trying to say.

The world soooo does need more SunAria in it! Aria in general needs more love, to be honest, and this is probably one of my favorite ships for her these days.

Thanks for reading, super glad you enjoyed :twilightsmile:

Yep, fair enough, can see the choppiness being annoying. I usually go for much more drawn-out introspective scenes, so I kinda wanted to run shrieking in the opposite direction with this one. I'm glad it was still entertaining, though :twilightsmile:

The scene flitting isn't bad, just to clarify, it just throws me off personally, lol. It strikes me as like, a series of vignettes. It's really well done considering that each individual scene stands up on its own. On another note; it's so weird that I barely saw any Aria-focused fics before now, like, 'Aria-focus' not Siren fics, and then I post up the first chapter of mine, and within two days I see two more quality fics (yours among them) appear. I love it, I've wanted Aria to have more love for a while now.

I definitely agree that Aria needs more love--when people get her character right, I think there's a treasure trove of material to be found in examining her relationship with the other two, and the stories that use her well are mesmerizing. Unfortunately, I've always found that writing Adagio comes more easily to me (I appreciate particularly that she can be a bit more flowery and eloquent than I think Aria can get away with, while also having a fair bit of room for sass and that juicy, juicy bitchiness), so if I have to pick one siren to build a story around, it's her almost every time.

As for the timing, there's perhaps more causation at work than you realize! As I mentioned in an earlier comment, I sat on this one for quite a while before getting around to publishing, and two Aria stories, one of them your recent one, were a factor in what made me decide it was finally time to throw this one out there.

Thank you very much for the nice long comment! Those're always my favorite :pinkiehappy: And I'm of course quite glad you enjoyed reading it :twilightsmile:

Perhaps the goody-goody thing makes more sense, but I always saw her as, like, the middle ground between Twilight and Rainbow; street-smart with riff-raff tendencies but with a stronger moral compass and straight As.

Ooo, hmm, interesting. It's hard for me to say, I think, how I feel about Sunset--I almost exclusively write her in siren-centric stories, and I think she feels much more like a goody-goody character when she's next to, say, Adagio, than when she's with her friends. So my impressions of her might be a bit skewed by that, since I'm a bit out of touch with the recent Equestria Girls canon, but in my head I do tend to see her as something of a goody-goody character. I think part of that is her contrasting with Starlight, who has sort of similar background but seems to have retained her morally grey, 'magic solves everything' mentality more than Sunset's retained her more villainous traits.

But I think the joy of a lot of pony characters is that you can portray different sides of them in various circumstances. So Sunset being less of a goody-goody character makes a lot of sense when she's with, say, Twilight, because that lets her add something new that Twilight wouldn't do so much of. But if you make Sunset, say, the smart one, then obviously Twilight's stepping on her shoes, and if she's the hotheaded rebellious one she's clashing with Rainbow Dash, so splitting the difference might very well be the best option for her in some stories.

That dry, sarcastic wit, the spiteful, bitter, "fuck-you-Adagio-munch-my-nuts" attitude, all wrapped up in a fantastically tsundere, emo package... It's exactly up my alley.

This, to me, is more or less the essence of a good Aria rolled up in a nice compact sentence :raritystarry:

If I had to complain about something (and, if you know anything about me, you know that I do), I would say that some actions are described in a kinda wordy, vague sort of way (the example that comes to mind is when Adagio yeets the phonebook at Aria. Very funny, but I feel like it might maybe have been able to be worded a bit better?).

Sorry, would you mind if I asked you to clarify with that example? The criticism's one I've gotten before, so I can believe it's something I need to work on, it just seems like in that instance, the action isn't described at all, pretty much, and it's just the consequence that's shown?

In any case, this is a solid story, and I will forever resent you for coming up with and executing this concept so well before me so that I can't do it and reap all of the glory.

I know the feeling :twilightsheepish: And thanks for the kind words, but I can't take all the credit--the original story pitch I think came from forbloodysummer, as did probably at least one or two of the date ideas.

I’m incredibly flattered that my fic was part of what encouraged you to post this; I’d love to hear your thoughts on it if you ever get a chance.

I thoroughly enjoy writing all of the Sirens. Each of them have a very clear voice in my mind. To date my favorite story I’ve ever written is Adagio’s Lament, which is a companion story to my ‘Dead by Sunset’ story. Aria has a piece in that one too, and in the follow up, Sonata for Sisterhood.

You have a really fun voice for Aria, very punky, death-metal, contrarian that’s incredibly entertaining to read. My voice for Aria is a lot more of the Chaotic Neutral Succubus, at least in Rules.

Yeah, I think I probably explained my gripe in extremely poor words. You'll have to forgive me, I'm operating on like 3 hours of sleep over the last four days.

My (very minor, ultimately inconsequential) issue wasn't so much that you described the action too much or anything like that. It's more like it took me a beat too long to realize what was going on.

Aria stepped outside the door, and paused. One second passed. Two. Three.

She ducked.



I read this chunk like three or four times, trying to understand what occurred. I thought I missed something, or maybe a sentence got lost in editing, but it turns out I just had to wait for the next sentence to see that Aria stepped on a phonebook, and then piece things together that way. This isn't necessarily wrong or a bad thing, but it feels like it could've been phrased just a bit differently for mentally exhausted, potentially dyslexic dumbasses like myself.

I 100% agree with you on the character portrayal notes. It's one of the reasons I think Pinkie is one of the most fascinating characters in the entire series. Pinkie is a chameleon, she can be basically anything if you just angle it. She can be a class clown, or she could do incredibly well in school on account of her photographic memory. She could be bad at sports due to her diet, or she could be really athletic because she can move at the speed of light. She could be super innocent and naive, or she could be a dirty, immature joker. Possibilities are endless, and that applies for pretty much all of them. And, as I said, I tend to see Sunny as the sorta "lawful bad girl", so to speak, so it is refreshing to see her spun in other ways, particularly the way you have.

Ah, right, okay, that makes more sense now. My intent there was that the chunk you quoted would suggest that something had been thrown, so the only revelation in the next bit would be the clarification that it was a phone book, but I can see how that could be tricky to piece together quickly. I don't know that I'd change that section much, I think I really like the way it is now, but I really appreciate you making me think about it.

Ooo, that is a really interesting take on Pinkie! With her, I almost wonder if she takes that aspect too far: I feel like, of the mane cast, she's the one who suffers the most going from a visual medium to a written one--as opposed to someone, like, say, Rarity, who I think is usually funny because of her dialogue, and that carries over to writing just fine--which forces you to kind of invent your own ways to make Pinkie work as a character, and that makes it a lot harder to know what to do with her.

(I say this as somebody who's essentially never written Pinkie)

I do agree, though, possibilities are endless. I'm more and more of the mind recently that it's much more important that a story be consistent with itself than with canon, when it comes to characterization.

This was fun and pretty cute, but not exactly for me.
Nonetheless, you seem to have made many fans from this short story and I wish you good luck with your future endeavors as well. :twilightsmile:

While I did enjoy the read, I always had Sunset's character to be more of a "cool" badass kind of girl; sadly I didn't get the same vibe here, as when she tried it seemed a little over the top and a little too Pinkie-Pie when she wasn't. That's probably headcanon issues anyway. I still enjoyed the read, thank you!

“Oh, she and Sonata apparently dragged your old boytoy out to a mall with them, dressed him up like a ballerina, and then ran about ninety thousand skimpy outfits by him so he could think about all the action he wasn’t getting.”

Um, how did they get Flash to agree to that? I know he's a milksop, but I like to think he has some sense of dignity.

9576920 Maybe Flash was being written by shortskirtsandexplosions :trollestia:

Although actually that line was written a few months before skirts came out with his new focus. Can't fault Flash, though. I'd agree to that, no questions asked.

Adagio can be very persuasive when she puts her mind to it. And who’s to say Flash didn’t make a very dignified ballerina?

Yes, Aria clearly has Nihilism down to a science. Gotta help Sunset relearn it so she can be cool again! At least she's back at the leather.

Adagio can't help getting people together, one way or the other. Fortunately Aria's wise to her games so maybe just maybe ot won't end in disaster. Then again, it's ARIA.

She'd never admit it, but I like to think Adagio's got something of a soft spot for budding relationships--at heart, she's something of a romantic, and likely developed her matchmaking skills to the point they're rather instinctual.

… granted, that's usually because breakups make for a tasty snack.

That is sooooo Aria. I like this kind of Sunset, still a bad girl on the inside. A little trolling goes a long way too. :rainbowlaugh: We need more Aria X Sunset troll fics.

… This is a picture of Star Swirl.

Aria and Sunset shared another glance—the former shrugged.

If he’s too small, I’ll find you another one, but he’s the biggest dick I have on hand.


“... and we are absolutely, definitely, no questions asked, not going anywhere near Sunset Shimmer,” Adagio declared, concluding her presentation of The Plan with a flick of her wrist

This made me think of The "Hitler Rants" video's

This Aria is such an edge-boy. Conforming to nonconformity is still conformity. The true rebels do what they want to do. I like my metal with unicorns and laserguns, so that’s how I take it.

Next story, break the news that Aria and Sunset are dating like badasses to Sunsets friends. Enter mixed reactions ranging from joy that Sunset is in a relationship to disbelief that she is dating Aria to outrage that she's acting a bit like she used to. :trixieshiftright:

Implying there would be anything but jealousy over Sunset dating a siren 🤔

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