The Last Changeling War

by Coyote de La Mancha

Chapter Five: Nature Abhors.

"Hey."

At the sound of her lover's voice, despite everything, Sunrise smiled.

"Hey yourself," she said.

“How are you doing?” Luna asked gently.

Stretching under the covers, Sunrise managed to open her eyes again. It was easier than before, though she was still feeling pretty beat.

“Uh, okay, I guess," she said unconvincingly. "You just missed me making an ass out of myself in front of Jack, but...”

Then she winced. “Oh, wait, that's kinda racist here, isn't it? Crap.”

Luna smiled.

“Donkeys have not been called 'asses' for generations, so I believe you are safe,” she said. “But that is a trifling matter. I am more concerned with your health, and your heart. So, I ask again: how are you doing?”

Sunrise sighed.

“Better, I think,” she said. “Hollow, kind of. Empty. In a couple of ways, I guess. I... I'm sorry, I don't really know how to describe it.”

Luna nodded, still smiling, carefully and gently climbing into bed beside her.

“I observed the castle's remains, and cast a time spell to see what had happened,” she said. “Much of the spell was obscured by Chrysalis' magic, even going back months. But your own casting was too powerful to be so hidden.”

She squeezed Sunrise gently, adding in her older form of speech, “The passion thou harnessed was immense, and dangerous beyond words. And then, to channel it so, protecting the foals and moving them even as thou struck out... thou'rt lucky to be alive, my love.”

As Luna spooned her, Sunrise held her lover's hooves to her own chest. She loved it when Luna thee'd and thou'd her. It always felt like an act of intimacy, like Luna was sharing a part of herself she normally kept hidden. And despite everything, she felt a little warmer inside.

“I feel luckier now than I did,” she admitted.

“I'm glad,” Luna said, kissing Sunrise gently on the ear. The ear twitched reflexively, and they both laughed a little.

Then, Sunrise sighed, her smile fading away.

“Still, that wasn't just passion,” she said sadly. “It was anger. Hate. Bad enough that I killed those people – speaking folk, whatever – the point is, I wanted to. At that moment...”

She shook her head and fell silent, and Luna simply continued to hold her, until she was ready to speak again.

Sunrise took in a breath, blew it out. Then she made herself talk, eyes closed as she did.

“When I was a little kid, one of the homes that took me in had a baby girl,” she said. “Her name was Joy. And, I… I loved her. She loved me, and so did her folks. For a while, it looked like I’d finally found a place where I belonged. Like I was home.

“Then, one day, I was trying to teach her to play patty-cake. She couldn’t get it, of course, she was too young. But, I was still too young to understand that. It was so frustrating. So, I lost my temper and…

“I slapped her.”

Luna winced.

“Her parents freaked,” Sunrise went on, looking away in the shame of her own memories. “But not as much as I did. Even when they sent me away, even while I was putting all my stuff into yet another garbage bag... my biggest thought wasn’t that I’d lost another home, one where I thought I’d really be able to stay this time. It was that I’d hurt her.

“I’d loved her, and I’d hurt her.”

She looked at the window, where golden light peeked reluctantly around the edges of heavy brocade curtains. The designs embroidered into them were hidden by the darkness, but Sunrise had them memorized: the moon, the stars, even a small sunburst in one corner.

“So, I learned to lock them away,” she said. “Even from myself. All of them. All the rage, the hate, all those dangerous feelings I had. I learned to contain, to suppress. To take my anger, my tears, my pain, even some of my memories. To lock them up, to hide them, deep in the shadows of my mind.

“It was just too dangerous to do anything else. I was too dangerous. It was the only way to be sure I wouldn't hurt anyone I loved again. That, or... even worse.

“When I got here, I was scared as hell. I mean, I'd just...”

She stopped, and Luna squeezed her gently.

“Yeah, well. You already know that part. First, Sunset saved me – just one of the many ironies between us – and then, she brought me here.”

She smiled bitterly, adding, “Between you and Twilight, I started seeing my coming here as a chance for a new start. And then, there was my job, and the foals. And for a little while, I thought I was getting better. I mean, not all the time, but every now and then I started thinking that maybe I wasn't poison. Maybe it wasn't my nature to destroy. And that... was... a nice dream.”

Then the smile vanished and she closed her eyes again, resigned.

“But that's all it was,” she said, her voice reduced to a whisper. “A dream. Because at the end of the day, I'm not just poison. I'm a killer. Those changelings didn't die from some accident, or some magical mistake. I wanted them dead.

“And now... now they are.”

A vast silence opened between them, and Sunrise could feel herself falling into it.

It was only fair, she thought. Luna deserved to know what she'd been associating herself with. Bad enough that Sunrise had spent so much time pretending to be something she wasn't. Worse if she'd lied about it now.

I'll help out as much as I can, she thought, silent tears slowly darkening the sheets beneath her eyes. Whatever else is going on, I won't leave her or the others to deal with it alone. However I can help, I will. But then, if I'm still alive, I'll go. Make sure I don't do any more damage.

Behind her, Sunrise felt Luna shift her head, doubtless cocking it the way she often did when she was in thought.

Sunrise's heart ached as she struggled to keep her eyes open. Damn it all, she was so tired. It was hard to stay awake, to talk at all. But then, maybe this was best. Luna would be gone when she woke up again, and Sunrise would understand.

She'd just started to drift off when Luna spoke.

“Emotion is the simplest and most primal source of magical power,” she said. “In foalhood, we draw upon such power almost exclusively, for need and passion are all we know. But as we mature, we are trained. By parents, by teachers, each pony according to the magic of their tribe. And so, knowledge and discipline take the place of blind emotion. We learn to guide our hearts and focus our strengths, much as a lens focuses light. Some ponies more than others, of course.

“Yet thou, unpracticed in sorcery and almost completely untrained, found thyself in a battle against uncounted foes with the lives of innocents at stake. Thus, in thy need to safeguard the students thou lovest, thou didst brave the wounds of thy heart and set loose a lifetime of pain and rage."

"Great,” Sunrise muttered. “I mean, I'm glad to be alive, don't get me wrong. But you’re saying this is all because I’m reverting. That I’m becoming a child again.”

Gently, Luna turned Sunrise over to face her, covers rustling quietly in the dark.

“Nay, my love,” she said. “Thou'rt becoming a warrior."

Sunrise stared.

"And we are in a war, even now," Luna pointed out. "Ever since the destruction of our Twilight's castle, Equestria has been at war with the Changelings and their queen.”

Luna gave Sunrise a moment to process, then continued, “But now, thou hast emptied that reservoir of caged emotion. And without it, no matter how unhealthy such a reserve of denied rage and hate most certainly was, the mind feels a lack.”

Sunrise winced, looking up at her.

“I am the very last mare in the world to judge, my love,” Luna reminded her. “But now thou must decide, quickly and deliberately. For it is only natural for the heart to want to fill that lack again. The question is, with what?”

Sunrise sighed again.

“Yeah, that's fair, I guess,” she said. “But I don't know how to answer you, hon. Right now, I'm not even sure I understand the question.”

“Which is also fair,” Luna said, and kissed her on the base of her horn. “So I will simply come to the point. Please, my love. Fill the spaces within thy heart and mind with love rather than hate, or even self-hate.”

Then, pulling back to look into her lover's eyes, she added with a smile, “It is far healthier, and far more pleasant.”

“And then what?” Sunrise asked, genuinely confused. “Just... forget about it? Forget what I've done?”

“Nay, my love. Rather, learn from it. And, learning, gain wisdom, and continue to live and love.”

Sunrise opened her mouth to reply, then stopped. Could she do that? How would she? And after everything she'd done, did she even deserve to?

But this was Luna asking. Luna. And despite everything, despite all that Sunrise had ever done or been, Luna had always accepted her just as she was.

And Luna had literally never asked her for anything before.

Ever.

Closing her eyes, Sunrise focused on Luna's nearness. On her warmth, on the feathered wings around her, on the beautiful blue hooves that held her, on the immortal heart beating so close to her own.

“I... I'll try,” she whispered.

Luna kissed her head gently, and neither spoke, not wanting to bring the moment to an end. And, exhausted both physically and emotionally, Sunrise Shimmer fell once again into a deep, dreamless sleep.

---

Sunrise had awakened partway several times, each time carefully keeping still so as to not disturb Luna's own slumber. Upon her last waking, however, her eyes flew open.

“Oh, oh shit,” she said in a horrified whisper.

Luna was immediately awake, looking around them.

“What? What's wrong?”

But Sunrise was struggling against the covers, frantically trying to force her exhausted body to rise. “Chrysalis. And Twilight! Spike! Oh, fuck, oh fuck...!”

“Easy, love, it's okay...”

“Oh, my god, I'm the biggest asshole in the world...!”

“SUNRISE!”

Sunrise stopped. She'd finally made it to her hooves, if a little unsteadily, and the two mares were now looking at one another across Luna's bed.

“It's alright,” Luna assured her. “Thou wert injured, remember?”

“But--”

"And we know.” Luna continued. “I assure thee, whatever it is that concerns thee, we know.”

“But Twilight--”

“Is alive. Thou wilt see her soon enough.”

Sunrise frowned, her fear giving way to confusion. “But, then, why are you here? I mean, I love you being here, but...”

“Yes, as I said before, the war is begun,” Luna said. “Changeling forces are amassing to the South and Northwest, and our own armies are moving to meet them. Likewise, an attempt was made in the Crystal Empire, much as one was made here. But things are under control, for now. And even in wartime, a pony must rest.”

Then, looking away, she added, “For we shall all have such need of strength, so soon.”

Slowly, Sunrise nodded, noting again how the heavy curtains were drawn closed, how the glow around their edges betrayed the light of Celestia's sun.

“Sorry, hon,” she sighed. “I panicked.”

“It's alright,” Luna smiled. She crossed over to where Sunrise was, and the two of them embraced.

“So, Twilight's okay?” Sunrise asked into Luna's mane.

“Well, no one's exactly safe right now, and some of us face greater peril than others,” Luna said carefully. “Which bethinks me, I need thy advice on something.”

Sunrise pulled away slightly, giving her a cocked eyebrow.

"You need my advice? Oh, now we are in trouble.”

“Well, not as much trouble as that,” Luna grinned. “It comes to this: there are matters of state that concern thee, and yet are also matters of security, for our ponies and our realm. Should I entrust them to thee, bringing thee further into risk, or should I spare thee? Also, how good an actress art thou?”

“Oh,” Sunrise blinked. “Well, crap.”

“Yes.”

“Okay, um... second part first, I'm a pretty good actress. I'm not the Mare of a Thousand Faces, but I can hold my own. I've got a long history of keeping secrets when needs be.”

Luna nodded. “Good so far.”

“As for the first question... well, if you're having to deal with something, and I might be able to help, I want in.”

Sunrise grew both serious and certain as she continued, “If you're in danger, I want to be there with you. Period. No matter the odds, no matter the stakes. If you go down, we go down togeth—hey...”

Sunrise's voice became gentler as she stepped towards Luna again, who, still staring at her, had begun to silently weep while Sunrise spoke.

“Hey, hey,” Sunrise said again, putting her arms around Luna. “Hey, what's-- oof!”

Luna suddenly threw her arms and wings around Sunrise, squeezing hard.

“I love thee!” she sniffled.

“I love you too,” Sunrise said, still holding on. “So, we're in this together, right?”

Still sniffling, Luna nodded happily.

“Good,” Sunrise smiled. “Because there's noplace else I'd rather be than with you.”

“And I with thee,” Luna returned. “But for now, come and sit with me. For the time has come to share with thee several dark truths. And thou must keep them sealed behind thy lips and thy heart without fail, 'til the moment of revelation comes.”

---

The briefing, such as it was, took a little less than ten minutes. Most of the major parts Sunrise had already suspected, and the rest weren't really that surprising. But it was a hard pill to swallow, just the same.

“Can you do it?” Luna asked gently.

Sunrise took in a breath, blew it out slowly.

“Yeah, I can do it. It's just... fuck.

“Indeed.”

Sunrise gave a quick sigh, then shook her head as if to clear it.

"Do you need more rest?" Luna asked. "Or some food? I can call--”

In answer, Sunrise went over to the bed and flopped onto it, face down.

"Can I have both?" She asked into the pillow. "Both sounds really great right now."

Chuckling, Luna lay next to her, stroking her mane.

"We have time for both," she said. "Rest now, beloved, till the sun reaches its zenith. Then we shall eat just enough to replenish our strength."

Even as she spoke, Sunrise's withers relaxed, her breathing falling into the slow, steady rhythm of sleep.

"For our war council must follow the noontime," Luna sighed. "And then shall our mettle be tested in earnest."

Then she kissed the back of Sunrise's head gently, and pulled the covers over them both.

Author's Note:

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"...I mean, I'd just...”

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

Ah. Should've known this would've been a lot more complicated than just a quick in-and-out after the inexplicable abduction of every alicorn on the planet. Looking forward to the conflict to come.

Also, should I assume that Sunrise has the same sun mark as her counterpart, or are you delaying a reveal of something a bit different? (Of course, it's entirely possible that you can't answer that question one way or the other...)

[Coyote de La Mancha]

11482937
"They kidnapped them offscreen."

"Yeah but how?"

"By doing it offscreen."

Yes, while this war will be a bit shorter than most human wars for reasons that will be soon revealed, it will still be a war. And while the princesses will do all they can to minimize the cost, there is a limit as to what can be done in such times.

As for the fair lady's cutie mark, I don't blame you in the slightest for forgetting during the interim; it's been a long, long time betwixt chapters...

camo.fimfiction.net/zkWSJgNwKfv5pEIBxO_Bh5WiosFHFP3OYtZxTCW_rOg?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn.discordapp.com%2Fattachments%2F400575361588658178%2F978912947256582174%2Fsunrise_cutie_mark2.png