welp.... introducing shining dick.

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hey dude are you gonna have caribou killing in this

I wanted to be a little more original so I changed how a few of the characters act

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maybe I don't know yet I might though

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It's true though... this is way past being protective.

*TEXT TO SPEECH DEVICE STARTS* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! SHINING DICK HE GOT

DEMOTED AH!

WHELP THAT

ASSASSIN IS GONNA GET A NASTY SUPRISE IN FORM OF BRANDING

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IK i'm still laughing at him being demoted

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DISOBEY YOUR SUPERIORS AND HE JUST GOT OFF EASY

IF THIS WAS A 21 CENTURY HUMAN COUNTRY HE WOULD BE ETHER DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED OR FACE COURT MARITAL

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Indeed, and then there is the pay cut.... can't afford an to expensive ring now can he?
i.imgflip.com/nx63t.jpg

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I was going to kick him out of the royal guard but i changed my mind and demoted him

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I WOULD HAVE LOVE TO SEE HIM GET KICKED OUT

what he did almost treason for going against the princess's commands

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Oh trust me he will get what is coming to him soon enough

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so will you be going with a just a hint of don't get cocky in shining armor being: tribalist, speciesist, and a right zealot arse

Not bad, a little fast in the story's progress. And Talion has no true purpose so far, so its hard to judge if the story got a future or not. But we will see in the future.

O and last chapter had a lot of long "URL" and got pretty hard to read on a mobile device.

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maybe don't get cocky and don't underestimate were my favorite story's before they were removed

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yes the goal of the story will be made clear when twilight becomes a alicorn I can not give to much information though but it does have a goal

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I am not lifeless shining armor… just deathless.

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Yup that’s something I feel Talion would say

I will upload my next chapter tomorrow I wanted to take a break today but I have already started

Also I have a surprise for my next chapter it involves the assassin identity you will be surprised who it is

Well, so far this story is, passable however I would strongly suggest leaving all of the links out of your story or better yet use the link feature to make the links text, so instead of:

"My lord" I heard behind me as I turned my head to see my captain of the guard I created to think for himself so he can defend the city if I am away at the moment.
https://i.pinimg.com/564x/46/90/8e/46908e575dad4695a7cff25ba2ec7d7f.jpg

It’s

"My lord" I heard behind me as I turned my head to see my captain of the guard I created to think for himself so he can defend the city if I am away at the moment.

Shining armor dick is hire and the story is going to fast take your time make the story don't go super fast take time making it

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thx for the suggestion I did not know I could do that I will start doing that

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that's just bloody rude

if you don't like fan versions of don't get cocky then

LEAVE!! the author doesn't want your rudeness and your rude behavior

Un incluso con las dificultades sigo leyendo, hay otros peores

I think this is the first fic I’ve read in which the Royal Guard and Shining Armor in particular actually suffered consequences for their stupidity and in which Celestia doesn’t tolerate shit.

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And nearly started a war his country has no chance of winning, is aware of that, and is dumb enough to convince himself that attacking a fortress when badly outnumbered is brilliant, and believes that attacking someone would prevent his nation from being attacked.

and I am going to change POV a few times in the next up coming chapters so you can get the liches perspectives like the 33 chapter

"Rocks" he said as I gave a look of confusion "are you confused I though you knew about stone and iron golems abilities stone golems are control the earth and plants around them so i will use some of it for building and iron golems are able to absorbed stones and boulders and refine them into various metal and we can give you a percentage of the metals that are produced by the golems and you could also send traders here so they can have a stable income of metals and ores so they can sell them and give me a percentage of the profits they make selling them i am also trying to find a way to create gems as well so they can sell those as well and we could provide jewelry stores with them so we could also discuss trade for those as well as the other things I said" he said to me and i was amazed he came up with this in minuets and it would also bring many traders and reputation to equestria as well as Minas Tirith.

Should be Minas Morgul.

"You will all stand down this instant or you will all be trailed for treason" I said.

Correction: trialed (the 'I' and the 'a' need to be switched)

A trail is a path, as in: a forest trail is a path through the forest.

A trial is a proceeding determining justice or fairness in matters of law. Such as determining the innocence or guilt of someone accused of murder.

As I approached the tower I noticed one of the was different from the other he was intelligent I knew the other guards were moving armor which was a forgotten art and almost no one except a few remembered me and my sister being one of them but even I could not understand the complexity of the enchantments required to create a single one let only a full army.

Celestia and Luna are living armors?

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She and Luna are some of the few that remember how to make them

.................................. here are the .... you need