9171752
That is good, revisions are part of the process. And it is something we just have to go through sometimes.

Also you are going to need to work on chapter length too. if it's too long the chapter will likely come off as slow a plodding. If it's too short is can be too fast paced.

In general around three to four thousand word will help you to keep your pacing more even. It's not an iron clad solution though. You'll probably have to experiment a little to dial it in all of the way.

This story has potential and I would like to see how it develops.

“You’ve got some nerve talking to us as if you desire a mate!” Rarity nearly yelled. “Rarity calm down, he’s just a colt he doesn’t mean it that way.” Twilight said trying to calm her now irate friend

Two different speaker means two paragraphs. So you'll need a space between them.

Zeko become pony it is?

9494433
He will not become a pony

“Well I’m not even close to mastering it.” Everyone but him sighed in relief. “There’s 6 different paths to master and I’m not even at 1 yet so don’t worry about me overthrowing your nation.” He started throwing a hand up for emphasis

Not very ‘shinobi-like’ to give away a weakness.

Wolves comes

SHINRA TENSEI!!!