• Member Since 14th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen May 22nd, 2016

Zap-The-Pegasus


T

You've probably read many storys about a human being sent to Equestria. Some fall asleep and find themselves in Equestria when they awaken. Others are killed and given a second chance at life as a pony. I however, was not sent to Eqestria. I sent myself there, not though magic, but though my own free will. I had no choice, but apon my arrival, I realised, that I couldn't have chosen a worse time to come to the land I'd only dreamed of visiting.

Taking on the appearance of my ponysona, Zap. I, with the help of a group of rather familiar faces, travel around Equestria to find the cause of the rising hatred that was spreading throughout the once peaceful land, and to finally vanquish, the mysterious evil, behind it all.

Rated teen for possible swearing and violent scenes later on

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 12 )

Oh this is going to be awful isn't it? My spidey-sense is tingling like a jackhammer dildo.

*Edit*

While the grammar and spelling are there. I'm going to have to agree with my spidey-sense. Why? Because, off the bat, you have your OWN self transforming.

Ay dios mio, it's going to be a self-insert isn't it? Yeah, self-insert fanficiton, especially when the main character is thrust into his role without any clear backstory, is never good.

"I chose to go, I had no choice,..."
Great start.:facehoof:

Well, nice written. I hope you'll approve. But i think that's why you are here ,).

Broly. Out !

1011213

Oops, I fixed it, it makes a little more sense now :twilightsmile:

1011212

Wait, what do you mean by 'my own self transforming' and 'self-Inserted'?:yay: All will be explained why she was sent. It's how I write and no one can change that, I like to keep people guessing, but apparently that's not really welcome on here, or at least not for the first chapter. I thought the title alone would with give people some idea...*sigh* I'm not taking this out on you, I'm just annoyed that no matter what I try I receive nothing but bad reviews, people trying to guess what's happerning before anything acctully happens.....

I just want to be able to write a decent piece of fanfic that people will like and enjoy, but apparently, I'm not even capable of that..

Again, I'm not taking this out on you, since I had a feeling you'd comment since I often see you on other people's work, but even so, why jump to conclusions? At least give me a chance to progress the story a little :twilightsheepish:

1011256

Thank you. I will try not to disappoint :)

1011476 Firstly, I jump to conclusions to shave time off a story. And what I mean, is that your story began with no introduction to character or HER thoughts. It's just kind of like "Bam! I have a ponysona and I'm becoming her!" At least that's what I got from this. That, and you're giving away too much in the first chapter.

1011515

Well I guess that makes sense. But how am I giving away to much? I thought it was ok. Once I get the second chapter written and posted, then her character will be explained more, as will other characters that will be appearing. I have the majority of the story planned out, and I'm not changing it for one person. The cause for the transformation will be explained as well, just wait, you'll see :twilightsmile:

Why am I easily impressed by most every story I read?

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