Rainbow Dash is fine. She doesn’t have any problems, no guilt holding her back, not even an unrequited crush. She doesn’t need or even want anything more in her life. Then what’s the nagging feeling that she keeps tucked in the back of her mind, keeping her up at night, plaguing her every thought, and leading to an insomniac double life?
When a mysterious new threat begins tearing apart the comfortable walls Rainbow Dash had built around her heart and soul, she’s forced to look inside herself and answer questions she didn’t even know she had. And the question remains: Does she even know what she deeply lusts?
Chapters (6)
And now that I've edited everything, I can continue updating with new content. So here's an early release to make up for yesterday's sort of republish of edited old chapters (if that makes sense). I'm planning on updating once a week, so expect more words soon.
A very nice story. My only complaint is that it is a bit smushed together. Try spacing out the paragraphs. It's easy to lose one's place when everything is bunched up like that.
Ohno
Notaseriousproblem
Thisissrsbsns
There's a lot of exposition here, perhaps a bit too much. Parts of this chapter seemed more like a manifesto on why Pinkie is Dash's best friend than an actual story. Still, it's not badly written at all and I'm a sucker for PinkieDash, so I'll definitely keep an eye on this. And it's good to see you updated the description, this is indeed a lot clearer.
Okay, since nopony's done this joke yet...based on the title:
Hello darkness, my old friend, I've come with talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping, left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain, still remains
Within the sound of silence
In restless dreams I walked alone, narrow streets of cobblestone
Neath the halo of a streetlamp, I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light, split the night
And touched the sound of silence
And in the naked light I saw, ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking, people hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never shared, and no one dared
To stir the sound of silence
Fool, said I, you do not know, silence, like a cancer, grows
Hear my words and I might teach you, take my arms then I might reach you
But my words, like silent raindrops fell, and echoed in the wells of silence
And the people bowed and prayed to the neon god they'd made
And the sign flashed out its warning in the words that it was forming
And the sign said the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls, and whispered in the sounds of silence
Okay, I'm done...had to be done...
So, it's The Games We Play again? Hm.
It's either Pinkie Pie or Rarity.
Interesting. I'll be tracking this
I do have a point of criticism; in the beginning you had a lot of characters speak in a row without indicating who was saying what. It was not impossible to figure out, but it was more confusing than it had to be.
Anyway, keep it up!
1152602
I actually did that on purpose. Originally, I had found the idea of a chapter that was completely dialogue with absolutely no indication of who was speaking to be rather amusing (I'm kind of an asshole like that). And I also thought it'd be a little challenge to see if I had the characterizations down enough that I didn't need to specify who was saying what.
Obviously, I ended up fleshing out the chapter more than that. But I kept the beginning the same to honor the original idea that had started me writing this chapter. And just for fun.
One day I'll write a story that is just dialogue with no tags. I'm sure everyone would just love that... Well, at least I would.
1093971
I do love me a good mystery. And I do love that story. But I hope you'll come to see this as an entirely different entity. Cause, well, it is. And, unfortunately, this isn't nearly as good. But I'm flattered by the connection.
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Rarity is hidden away now in her little dungeon, doing sadistic things to Spike... that he actually probably enjoys. In fact, he probably doesn't want to be rescued. That's going to be an awkward reunion.
And Pinkie Pie doesn't really need an explanation, now does she?
1093760
1194863>>1093760
Actually, now that I actually pay attention to the song...
Well, maybe you'll notice the connection in a later chapter.
Well, there goes my personal theory. I liked this chapter! Keeps us guessing what's really going on. I really liked Pinkie's thought process here; she clearly has a crush on Rainbow Dash, but she doesn't really see it or know what to make of it (but, at the same time, she's not denying it or refusing to admit it to herself). I was theorizing that it may have been Pinkie, but now that seems less likely. I just hope it's not one of these split personality things... Keep up the good work!
14 likes and 13 comments does not give this story enough credit.
I applaud you author.
1198920
Poor Pinkie. She's always the first pony people go to when something evil is ahoof. I wonder why...
1207807
on the inside.
Haha, thanks, I appreciate it. I'll admit, I'd love hundreds of likes and comments as much as the next author. But as long as one person is reading and enjoying the story, that's enough to make me all
Damn...this is some very serious and amazing Pinkie Dash....you have my 100% support dear sire/madam on a pairing I love very much, Be sure to seprate the pargraphs so that it's easier to read, other then that everypony is perfect as to how they act and your very, very deailed...which you can never have enough of, I'll be awaiting more my friend.
You need any help, ideas or advice, I got your back, peace.
LOVE THE SONG!
1081989 NO Really? Could not tell by your profile pic
Nah, I'm kidding, I love Pinkie Dash, one of my favorite pairings but I'm glad to read this and I like hearing of how Rainbow Dash liked Pinkie even more then Fluttershy, this is a very well written story but again with spacing the pargrpaghs, be sure to do such and you'll have an amazing story on your hooves, always I saw an error that things got out of hand.....hand.....HAND!!!!!!!!!!!
For a second I thought we were talking about the Dark Elements (Disharmony) before I noticed that it had nothing to do with their dark halves, this is getting so bucking good though poor Spike, hopefully he will be found soon so that he could go back to his true love...Twilight Sparkle! And I'm not sure if your building up towards the Rainbow Dash/Pinkie Pie romance or not but I'll be watching for more.
1093760 The buck sort of poem is that?
1208655 It's the lyrics to "The Sounds of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel...
Hmmm....I saw the word hand twice, should it not be hoof or hooves and damn....I keep thinking about the Dark Elements for some reason...hmmm.....anyway, I'm honestly hoping that they find Spike soon but they need to get more serious this is no laughing matter even for Pinkie Pie and it's starting to just be plain sad that they are acting like filles and I'm suprised that Twilight is seriously not depressed..damn, I'll be awaiting more of this though.
1207871
Actually, I never went for the whole "fun-loving free thinker" = "secretly evil/psychopathic" thing myself. It's just that it's kind of become cliche among writers. So I'm glad that this seems to be averting that.
1198920 Agreed, high hoof me friend, and I think your talking about Sorrow, the Element of Despair, second in command of the Dark Elements (also known as Disharmony) and the very depressed side of Pinkie Pie, with her mane and tail straight.
Also, I'm loving how Pinkie Pie is falling for Rainbow Dash without even knowing it, I'll be watching this for sure. Though it messed up how she forget's about Spike and the fact that one of her best friends seem to be seriously depressed, wonder how they got knocked out and met up in two's.
Damn....very, very nice...love how you add touches of the Dark Elements (Disharmony) to this story and other then the wall of text that I keep seeing, not seprating when another pony speaks and changing on the other hand to hoof...twice, this is goiong very, well and I'm starting to wonder if Fluttershy really is the theif, or if Rainbow really loves Pinkie as she says....I'm glad Pinkie can get serious, even if it was only a second...onto the next chaper!
Let's get to it.
I was a little put off by the opening paragraphs. There are a number of things that just read awkwardly. However, once the narrative takes off, I stopped caring. I think the first two are three paragraphs are in a different narrative style almost--one of them references "you", something you don't do again. Just PM me if you'd like more detail about this.
I really, really like this so far. Yes, it's chapter one, but it feels like Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, which is something I see too many people completely f*cking up. I can't wait to read more. (Stupid job and time and the passing of it.)
This story has a lot going for it I hope that it gets continued in the future.
D'aawwwwww! Rainbow and Fluttershy always make things so cute! They are so adorable!
Seriously, they are so, so cute!
Orange pony, maybe? I'm assuming you're talking about AJ, right?
Book in hoof? In wing?
*Your
So sad this was abandoned :(
There are no further chapters?!
THIS WILL NOT DO!!!
I NEED TO KNOW WHO DID THIS!!! WHO IS ILLUSION?? DO THE MAIN 6 FIGURE EVERYTHING OUT?? IS SPIKE OK???
YOU CAN'T TORTURE ME LIKE THIS!! YOU JUST CAN'T DO IT!!!! MORE!!! IMMEDIATELY!!!
Um...if its ok with you, that is...
MORE! MORE! MORE! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....*INHALE*....OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRE!!!!!!!