• Published 3rd Sep 2018
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A Long Black Coat - ScrambledCrackers



When Equestria's only human is found to be a mass murderer, Celestia is left to pick up the pieces.

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Secrets Kept

“We, the Royals of Equestria and the Crystal Empire, hereby find you guilty on all counts.”

Princess Celestia spoke with a heavy, almost sepulchral tone, still reeling from the scale of it all.

That it had happened in Equestria.

The well-dressed human they knew as Chance stood calm and collected at the defendant’s table. His well-trimmed, skullcap short black hair and strong chin lending his appearance an air of something almost regal at first glance. Or perhaps imperious.

His hands were clasped easily behind his back, magic blockers around each wrist. The long black coat he had worn at almost all times before was oddly missing, a suit jacket in its place.

The lack of his ubiquitous coat bothered her for reasons she couldn’t explain or identify. He was never outside without it except the day he was caught, with him attempting to enter the palace when her Guard arrested him. She would have to think about it all another time.

It was little more than a month ago, he had been her best friend of several years.

That was before being revealed as the murderer of thousands of Equestrian citizens and foreign travellers. All in one horrible day, through dark magic.

Worse still, that he was capable of the piece by small piece horror of what he did to that filly.

Celestia felt her wings twitch in revulsion at the memory of learning those details.

On either side of her sat Luna, Cadance, Shining Armor, and Twilight Sparkle. Each had varying outward emotions.

Luna’s impotent rage over the filly and the rest, her fighting of nightmares making her so protective of the young. Cadance’s near perpetually wet eyes since she learned how much evil had been taking place right under her nose in the Empire and beyond. Shining Armor’s pained grimace, struggling to remain calm as he tried to cope, despite being a soldier and well prepared for facing dark things. And poor Twilight, unwilling to even look at her former friend beyond court proceedings, her wings drooping under the weight of her sadness over her former beloved study partner.

For herself, Celestia kept her calm demeanor. Her ponies needed her to be a well of strength, unassailable in the worst moments.

Their light in the darkest times.

Behind the facade, she found that all she could feel was a cold, quiet void within.

The colossal depth of the betrayal had struck her to her core.

The court remained silent around her, even observers and press too solemn to make a sound in the face of what was happening. Of what had happened.

She kept watching Chance’s eyes.

In the past, it had been a game for them. Both of them quite skilled at masking their emotions from observation. That she could read nothing in his face to tell her his thoughts, once a fun vexation, had become maddening. Nothing but calm acceptance could be found. And not the slightest sign of remorse.

Celestia turned to look at one of her personal guard retinue and signaled the white unicorn stallion over, his golden armor gleaming.

A stray thought reminded her that the stallion had joined her personal retinue a few months earlier, capable and displaying a sharp mind. She was tempted to try inviting him to tea in the future, get to know him more personally as she liked with her retinue that proved themselves, but that was after life could find a way beyond the sorrow in her lands.

She reminded herself that she had endured worse times, and there was still a future to look forward to when the latest shadows had passed.

Taking the scroll for the guilty verdict from him with a short nod.

“Thank you, Lieutenant Horizon Sight.”

Turning back to the one she was to condemn, Celestia paused to take a visible deep breath as the gravity of the moment warranted. Releasing it in a way to convey regret of what had to be done, she unrolled the scroll and fixed her gaze upon the human before her.

“Due to the severity of the crimes you have committed against Equestria, the Crystal Empire, and other nations, we have been forced to go beyond all normal means of sentencing and punishment. The wretched nature of the evil you have perpetrated has brought you under old laws not needed for centuries, but whose requirements have sumarily been met.”

Celestia wasn’t sure what hurt more, using such a law again, or using it on a former friend.

“In times past, great evils once walked our world. With a heavy heart and hard lessons, I learned one method for dealing with some crimes was by public sentence. This served both to publicly acknowledge the crimes of the perpetrator, and let the citizenry know justice would be done, one way or the other. Of these, the most severe and blackest of crimes, they could only be settled by public execution.”

The bile rose up in the back of Celestia’s throat as she said the words. A centuries-long streak she was proud of was broken.

Outwardly, Celestia looked stoic and unphased.

“Mister Chance, we have already discussed the fair application of Equestrian Law. There are no alternatives in this matter. We Royals have found the only laws and punishments that can still apply to the scale of what you have done require such.”

She took a moment to remind herself of just how many had died to steel her resolve, then continued.

“In accordance with those laws, in three days you will be publicly executed in Canterlot’s main square. If you wish to die to a particular method, you may request it to be considered. As we will not permit unnecessary suffering, even for the worst of crimes, any request you make requires it to be a quick death.”

She let a faint sigh escape as she paused, feeling the burden of rule and loss. “After appearing in our world 11 years ago by magical accident, it is time to remove you from it.”

Celestia felt so much disgust that Chance’s eyes betrayed little. If anything, he seemed slightly amused at getting to choose his own death, but otherwise bore an inscrutable calm.



***



Celestia found herself so tremendously angry, flames of emotion licking at her mind.

She couldn’t get Chance’s last words out of her mind as she paced back and forth, court cleared for the day because she could not focus. Her teeth gritting as she struggled to contain her frustration that he still had such impact on her.

He had said his former residence in Canterlot had secrets about what he did that only she could unlock.

Investigators and mages had combed through the house to the best of their ability. Everything, nearly every mote of dust, had been accounted for and catalogued. Hidden magic scoured for. Anything of interest was removed and placed under lock and key as attempts to piece together how he had succeeded were underway.

Little of value in that regard had been found, despite their best efforts.

Chance had grown very skilled at subtle uses of magic after he had studied it, at first so surprised to discover he could summon magic in a similar way to unicorns. In little games she had played with him over the years, she had even learned a few new obfuscation tricks from him.

Chance had told her she must be alone in the house when she used the key in his bedroom.

Flicking her wings in irritation, Celestia stopped pacing. Turning to the door of the throne room, she marched in the direction of her sky chariot.

She had to try, if just to stop the questions plaguing her mind.

Her fury at him smouldered, wishing she could find a way to understand why he had done something so heinous after pretending to be a friend for so many years.



***



Despising every slow step she took to see justice was done, Celestia ascended the stone dias that had been built.

The square around her was filled with somber ponies, and several foreign ambassadors. Most notable were Ambassador Longhorn and Ambassador Adolphus, of the Minotaur and Griffon nations. Amicable still, but relations were strained because of the attack.

Many of those amongst the crowd had lost loved ones. They all needed to see his end, to know their waking nightmare was over, insofar as he was involved. An illusion of closure to help them move on. Celestia still did not know how long the healing would take.

For them, or for herself.

Chance watched her with the same calm, collected expression in his black business suit that was still nearly impeccable. Even his shoes were polished, despite imprisonment.

He was facing his own death while dressed, as he had said on occasion, to the nines. A comment he made about his former line of work in his own world.



***



For several long moments, Celestia stared at her former friend’s Canterlot home.

The unassuming wood siding and windows bore designs that somehow seemed to blend into the rest of the buildings on the street. Fancy enough to suit the expensive neighborhood, yet managing not to stand out.

Her retinue having been told to remain outside and keep the perimeter secured, Celestia strode forward. Entering the place she once tried to visit as often as her royal duties allowed, a former place of deep solace now sullied by circumstance.

She had no reason to pause for looking around. Numerous visits during the initial investigation had seen most of the rooms emptied of anything that wasn’t nailed down, and a few things that were.

Celestia never quite understood why Chance had decided to make his bedroom away from the exterior walls when he had it built. A poker game she had lost to him years ago saw to it the place was rebuilt to his exact specifications.

Coming to the door of his former bedroom, Celestia paused as a memory of exiting that very door two years prior sprang unbidden to her mind’s eye.

Over tea, they had gotten into a discussion of literature’s impact on politics and wandered into the room to look at some of the most prized books in his personal library.

Quite without meaning to, she had not left his company until the urge to raise the sun had caught her by surprise. It was a night they never dared to repeat, or even discuss, afterward.

Her magic turned the doorknob, opening the door as she walked into the unlit empty room, the faint numbness inside growing by a small degree as she conjured a ball of light to see by.



***



Standing across from the condemned, Celestia forced herself through the motions of what had to be done.

Somber and clear, she spoke the words she had to for the crowd. A short bit of ceremony she wanted nothing to do with, before turning to the one that forced her into a situation she so despised.

“Mister Chance, before you are put to death this day, I will ask if you have a final request to be considered,” Celestia said in an emotionless tone, playing her part so it could just be over, so she could start trying to put the pieces inside back together. The numb void inside seemed to grow the longer she looked at him.

It was agony inside, behind the facade.

The human met her eye with the same calm expression, his steady voice vexed her with the tiny hint of something she couldn’t place.

“A final request…,” Chance began, his eyes flickering with whatever that hint of something was as he looked into her own. “My request is to speak to you privately for a few minutes. Knowing you will not let me leave this dias alive, I will instead ask you to put up a small bubble of silence. There are some secrets you should know, and I have no reason to keep them anymore.”

Celestia felt herself scowl within, her face still the calm mask.

What game was he playing at?

She only had one way of finding out, stepping forward until her cheek was only a matter of inches from his, knowing what he meant from times he gave her unexpected insight during diplomatic functions. Her horn lit up as a small veil of silence ensured the next few minutes would be between the two of them alone.

Trading the need to look at him for feeling his presence so close stirred the internal conflicts in fresh ways, wishing the day was over as the memory of her former friend’s hugs squeezed an ear flick past her mask.

How many times had she rested her head on his shoulder as they studied international treaties together?

Chance let out a quiet sigh that Celestia only noticed from being so close, his head turning towards her just enough that she worried he would touch his cheek to hers before he began to speak in low tones.

“Even if I could tell you everything, words would not be enough to express it all. The most important thing I need to tell you is that I left you the plan to what I’ve done in a hidden room. Your best investigators will not be able to find it. The door doesn’t have an outward signature to trace. If you don’t know it exists, or have the required keys, it cannot be reached.

“Go to my house, enter without speaking and close the door of my bedroom once you’re inside it. Access will only work if you are alone in the entire building. It’s partly keyed to your signature. To open the hidden door is a voice key. The first verse of the tune I once called my personal theme song two years ago. You called melodramatic with a smile and a hug.”

Celestia grew stiff as he spoke, her mask unchanged even as her heart rate began to climb.

How could he dare to bring up that night in such a moment?!



***



The door closed with a small nudge and Celestia swallowed back the ache once more.

Turning to face the middle of the room, she cast her gaze across the walls of the almost bare room she tried hard not to remember for certain things.

Once she had taken her moment, she paused to remember the words and broke the silence of the empty room with a quiet voice, thick with emotion, as she had been instructed.

Nothing happened.

Celestia made a second attempt with more volume, then a third and still no change came.

Frowning, she turned the instructions over in her mind, and the way Chance would think.

Her teeth grit when it came to her. Of course he would require it that way.

Closing her eyes, Celestia forced herself to grow calm. Frustration boiled inside, tempting her to forget it all, to start forgetting him, before she could truly manage to bring herself to what she knew was needed.

Clearing her throat, Celestia let her voice rise in song, quiet at first but rising.

Here we are

Riding the sky

Painting the night, with sun

You and I, mirrors of light

Twin flames of fire

Lit in another time and place

As the words left her throat, so did some of her control. Unbidden, almost as though unstoppable, her voice carried on into the second verse as a cool sensation grew at the edges of her closed eyes before she hung her head in silence.

The chorus played in her mind and felt like nothing so much as a dagger.

Celestia allowed herself a sniffle while she was alone, eyes slowly starting to open soon widened upon noticing the air shimmering, before snapping into focus as a door identical to the one on the front of the house.

For a long moment, all she could do was stare at something that should not have been hidden so utterly. The magic she sensed in the aged wood ran deep, and should not have escaped her investigators. A quick walk around the door in the middle of the empty room revealed nothing visible beyond a simple door frame around a closed door.

How had Chance made something that required multiple mages working in concert to achieve?

Taking a minute to think things over, Celestia set that new mystery aside. The answers lay through the door before her.

With a cautious touch, she turned the handle on the door with her golden magic. Beyond the part where the door radiated displacing energies similar to a mirror portal, it held no tricks.

As the door swung inward, Celestia saw a clean hallway reveal itself. The door was on one end, more doors lining the sides of the long hall that was nearly as wide as her own wingspan. Plain white walls and wooden doors gave the look of a laboratory passage.

After another cautious review for trickery, Celestia stepped into the hallway.

Her hooves made faint, sharp sounds at every step along the polished gray stone floor. Checking each door, she found they were all locked until the handle of the one on the far end of the long hall turned in her magical grip.

Still wary, Celestia opened it to find a large work area, some doors leading to further rooms within.

What caught her eye the instant she spotted it was a hanger bearing something she recognized with a mere glance.

A long black coat hung silently, beckoning her forward.

As she drew towards it, she noticed a desk beside it. The single file folder that lay on it captured her mind, wondering if that was where Chance had left information on the plan he followed to kill so many.

Throwing one more conflicted glance at the coat, Celestia turned her attention to the file. Unmarked on the outside, she turned the folder’s cover.

A photograph of a brown stallion with a blue mane, a vague familiarity tickling the back of her mind. Appearing as though it were taken at a distance, the photo was followed by a condensed set of biographical data.

Upon looking it over, confusion began to grow in Celestia’s mind.

Name: Sidetrack
Age: 27
Public-side Profession: Courier
Known/Confirmed Activity: Enforcer, Recruiter, Foal-napper and Trafficker

Celestia’s eyes played across details, dates and associations. A full dossier on a rather unpleasant stallion that appeared to have engaged in a lot of highly illegal activities.

Then, oddly, the first page was repeated as the last page, with one critical difference stamped clearly over it.

Status: Confirmed Deceased

For a long time, Celestia stared at the page before her as a memory came to mind. She had seen the stallion. He was one face of many among the dead.

Chance had killed him with the multitude of others.

Celestia’s mind whirled. Confused and trying to get her mind around what the dossier was really for, she lifted it in her magic after closing it and deciding she could return another day. The folder should be delivered to her investigators as an important clue.

To her surprise, just as she was about to turn away from the desk, there was a small burst of light and sound.

A new file folder lay on the unadorned wood surface, almost calling to her.

Opening it, Celestia found a second dossier.



***



Chance sighed once more, voice near to a whisper, even with the private bubble of silence Celestia shared with him.

“There is so much I wish I could tell you. How much I’ve been doing. Yet I cannot tell you yet, even now. You wouldn’t take it right, and will need time to adjust when you do find out.”

Celestia was tempted to snarl at him for bringing up that night. It took her a moment to quell her incensed mind before she could respond with the measured calm that needed to remain visible for her ponies as they watched the two converse on the stone dias. “If you are looking for any measure of sympathy after all you have done, you will not find it, Mr Chance.”

To her surprise, he gave a small snort of amusement.

“I know what has to be. I am not afraid to die.”



***



Celestia strode into the room she had been spending increasing amounts of time in for more than two weeks. Every file folder she found telling her more than the last, the next one appearing behind the one before, but only if she actually read the contents first. The mystery of it had all but consumed her. Even holding court was reduced to the bare minimum of time.

For reasons she couldn’t quite settle on, she had not removed any of the now hundreds of file folders from the room to date. Several stacks had grown in the room. A growing need to know what was going on, needing to keep it all together until she completed the puzzle stretching out before her.

Dossiers had given over to situational assessments, records of dangerous groups and force concentrations. Capabilities catalogued on Equestrians and foreign groups in clear detail.

What had started as unpleasant yet otherwise ordinary ponies and foreigners had grown into individuals that had records of dark magic use. Celestia’s heart had trembled as she saw growing evidence of necromancy becoming more prominent as she dug further through the still inexhaustible documentation.

After she had spent a few hours studying the information and files she was being presented with, necromancy and living sacrifices in absurdly dangerous rituals becoming the dominant information, the pattern changed.

A blue gemstone the size of her hoof appeared in place of the next file.

Celestia paused, staring at it. A few tests with magic revealed it held some kind of recorded illusion pattern, activated by touch.

Several minutes passed as Celestia considered what she had learned already.

Whatever lay recorded on the crystal, if the pattern of the files continued as it had, was going to make the situation even more troubling and complicated.

Mentally preparing herself, refusing to acknowledge the steadily growing ideas in her mind, Celestia reached out and touched the large blue gem.

And yanked her hoof back like she was bitten.

Though only an illusion, a familiar hand appeared in the same place as her hoof, the image flowing up as an arm took form, then the rest of Chance’s human body.

Her heart hammering, Celestia watched the illusory Chance stand up straight and adjust his long black coat before turning to face her with the calm seriousness she saw in his face so often, his sharp eyes glinting with the inner determination she had grown so familiar with.

“Hello, Celestia. Seems you finished going through the information I left for you. I won’t beat around the bush too much. Every individual in those files were among the ones I took down that day.”

All Celestia could do was stare at the illusion, too stunned to do more than watch as the recording played as it would.

“Even now, knowing you’re ready to hear the details of what has been going on, there are things I cannot come out and say yet. In part because I don’t want to overwhelm you, the scope should be obvious enough by now to understand why, but also in part because it won’t help to hear it from me at this point. You’ll need more than a recording for the rest.”

Somehow, it seemed as if the illusory Chance was looking her right in the eye as he spoke. Hints of emotion were starting to dance at the edges of his face.

“If you look down, you’ll see a mark on the floor right by your hooves. That’s where I expected you to be standing when you got around to playing this recording I left. If you weren’t, oh well. I just wanted to be able to look you in the eye as I said my piece here.”

Glancing down, Celestia saw a mark on the floor right between her forehooves. She didn’t want to think about the thought growing in her mind, wings fidgeting as she continued to watch.

“By now, you know I have a lot of really interesting files on a lot of rather unpleasant individuals and events. Whether you have realized it or not yet, things had gotten really dicey near the end. It was only about three years after I landed in Equestria somehow when I caught wind of it. A cult hiding in the dark, away from your notice and not drawing attention anywhere with much population. Biding their time over centuries.

“I investigated, and realized the further I looked, the worse it became. If you recall, you saw me grow rather focused on studying, and would sometimes disappear for days or weeks at a time. They tried to recruit me, and I accepted so I could get a better look. In hindsight, I know if I hadn’t, they would have succeeded in their plan because I couldn’t have learned enough in time. Or have found that filly in time.”

Celestia swallowed a lump in her throat at the mention of the filly, unable to sort out what she was being told and how it compared to what she had learned.

“Celestia, they were… She was…,” the illusory Chance paused, appearing to collect himself as open sadness settled into his features. “Words would never be enough for her. My protege will give you more later. She was a living phylactery, Celestia. The physical form of the crystal was diffused throughout her body. The only way to force it into solid form was cutting her up in small pieces while alive and during a specific ritual. If done wrong, it would have transferred to an unknown backup host and be lost. A phylactery I also destroyed during the ritual I sabotaged. The same that killed all those supposed innocents your troops found dead in that cavern cathedral. They were all part of the cult, so try to rest easier knowing none of them were innocent, no matter what lies they told their families. You know much of the evidence for that now.”

A trembling hoof covered her mouth as Celestia reeled from the news. The implications of it. She was all too aware there was a rather brief list of necromancers in history with the strength to make that powerful of a soul crystal. The mere idea of how the filly must have suffered would have Luna camping in her dreams for weeks.

“Even after everything I’ve done to deal with things out of sight, I cannot name the cause too closely myself. I am watched, to a degree, despite making it look like I was your enemy and plotting to kill you. On top of that, I made it appear as though I made a mistake during an attempted coup for my own power. Details will be provided later. Let’s just say, I pissed the responsible party off in a major way, but obfuscated matters so you appear entirely ignorant of events.”

The illusory Chance seemed to sag as his eyes closed, bowing his head. “I know I never told you much about what my job back on Earth was. A government agent focused on information gathering, more or less. Some would call me a spy, counterintelligence agent, etc. In the top quarter percentile in regards to my ability, if it helps.

“All that matters now is I did a lot of dark things, Celestia. The kind of things that destroyed me, over time. Destroyed my soul. What I did to that filly was only the fifth worst thing I’ve ever done. Even then, only because I started caring again. The ritual doesn’t even register in the top ten.

“That’s what kind of creature showed up in Equestria when I arrived, by the way. Living among you was a huge joke, and if circumstances were different, I might have been just as evil as you were thinking of me when you found out about the ritual deaths. Instead, something caught my eye as both a fascination, and strange mystery I had to figure out.”

Celestia saw the illusory Chance raise his eyes back to hers, his soul laid bare to her in a way she had only seen once before. On a single night two years prior.

“I don’t have the time to drag this out much longer. I know it’s cliche to say it like this, but meeting you changed me, Celestia. Somehow, some way, you restored my soul. Just by being who you are. By the time I caught wind of the cult and all that went into that, you were already my best friend. Wouldn’t even be able to explain how you reached me, just that you did. I couldn’t tell you much about my past work because the idea of you looking at me differently caused me almost physical pain. In keeping my distance, however, I could still take steps to defend you, and everything you hold dear.”



***



Celestia wanted to snort in derision at his statement, part of her wishing he was afraid. To give her some petty little satisfaction of him suffering however tiny a fraction of what he caused others to experience. Still, she kept her calm outward mask. “Whether you are afraid to die or not is irrelevant, Mr Chance. Is there anything else you wished to say?”

There was a pause before he responded. “No. I’ve said about all I needed to. Continue with what you have to do.”

Celestia stepped away, dropping the bubble of silence between them and getting herself a little distance. A few more words for the public and the records of the event, then she turned back to him.

“By your own request, we have brought the incineration crystals. You only have to take hold of them and touch them together. You will feel magic cover your body before heating to the point you will turn to ash in a fraction of a second. The process will take approximately as much time as your nerve endings send the sensation to your brain. You will have only the barest instant to feel the pain before the process is complete and you cease to be. Should you fail to use the crystals yourself, I will do it for you.”

Turning her head to one side, she signaled Lieutenant Sight to step forward with a small box held in his magic. Stopping before the condemned, he presented the open box to the human.

For the briefest moment, Celestia could have sworn the two locked eyes and shared something non-verbal. Chance reached out to pick up the red crystals, each a little smaller than his palms, and the two of them broke eye contact. Lieutenant Sight moved silently back to his position.

Chance straightened, staring at the two crystals he held in each hand, then turned to look at her. Celestia found her breath stolen as his eyes met hers.

So hard to read most of the time, she was stunned to find his soul laid bare to her in his eyes. Sorrowful, yet proud, and radiating something she wouldn’t dare to put to words.

There was a note of something like relief in his tone as he spoke, clear and strong as he brought the crystals near each other.

“One individual can make all the difference to another. Goodbye…Tia.”

The same moment his words were done, the crystals touched. A slight red field spread over his form, a sudden flash, and a flutter of ash was all that remained to fall like a small dusting of snow upon the stone dias where he had stood.

The two crystals tumbled through the air and bounced against the stone close together. One crystal landing on an edge between facets, hesitating for a moment as if contemplating itself, before tipping over to finally rest beside it’s twin.



***



Celestia was trembling as the recorded illusion continued to play.

“I was never your enemy. Hopefully you realize that by now. First and foremost, please remember that I chose this life for myself. It’s what I was good at, and really, my reason for being. Got to die a secret hero, if nothing else. I won’t mind, so long as you at least remember me for who I really was.”

The illusory Chance gave a sad smile, so rare on his features. A strange twinkle in his eye also hinted at the kind of mischief Celestia never expected, as he was wont to do to her on occasion.

“You know, I told myself if I somehow managed to survive, not be executed for my actions and such, that I’d take that chance we never dared speak of again. Of course, if I did survive, you would never see this recording, so there’s that. Instead, I made a side plan for you. He doesn’t know I set him up like this yet, but my protege is a lot like me. Unlike me, he doesn’t have the baggage of a dark history built up. I can’t say I’m a matchmaker, but trying to see you be happy is all I can hope for. Risk it with him, if you’re willing. At the least, he’s already prepared to die for you.”

Her mouth hanging open as she stared at his image, Celestia wasn’t sure she could deal with much more of Chance’s sudden tangents, even if it was his demented sense of devotion. The emotional turmoil bubbling within left her unable to get her head around this almost arbitrary, yet planned addition. She knew from past experience he did it on purpose, knowing it annoyed her, while also leading her to realizations she would have otherwise missed, after she had time to think.

There was also the part where she still had no idea who his protege even was.

Letting out a slow sigh, the illusory Chance turned more serious again. “Other than that, I have to tell you the fight isn’t over yet, Celestia. She has no idea I did it, but I taught Twilight a lot of foundational skills to directing these kinds of operations. It seemed like little games of various kinds to test the mind, but there were ulterior motives. My protege is ready to try training her directly. He knows just about everything I know, and I consider him of equal skill. He’s filling in for now, but we both know he can’t head this organization. And yes, I said organization. He’ll fill you in after this recording. All you need to remember about her for now is Twilight has the talent to be an excellent, if absolutely adorable, or maybe adorkable, spymaster.”

A hoof touched her temple as Celestia could only watch. There was so much to think on.

Turning towards the black coat hanging next to the desk, the illusory Chance took off his facsimile and set it on the hanger where it still hung, then slipping on a suit jacket that appeared in his hand on the recording once he touched it. His image straightened the lapels before moving back to the desk and stretched a hand out to hover above the recording crystal, his face turned slightly away from Celestia’s gaze.

“There is still a lot I wish I could say, Celestia…,” came his quiet voice, his voice thick and so out of place from how he usually carried himself that she found herself leaning closer. “Of course, if I did say it, I don’t think I could go through with what I have to do for you. I’ll have requested incinerator crystals as my way to die so you won’t have to carry the experience of being the direct cause of my death. You don’t deserve to carry that kind of burden, once you realized what really happened. I’ll go to my grave feeling the way I do, and wishing that night two years ago had never ended. Now, it’s time for me to head to the castle to get arrested.

“I chose the Equestrian name Second Chance because I like being dramatic. On Earth, my real name was Oberon Chance. My parents were a little weird. I have never given that name to anyone else in this world. Remember who I was. That’s I all I ask for. Goodbye… Tia.”

The illusion’s hand touched the crystal, his image fading away as the recording ended.

Celestia was aware of a tightness in her chest. Of wetness on her cheeks as she slowly sank to the floor.

For an indeterminate length of time, all she could do was weep by herself in the silent room, no longer able to avoid the knowledge that she sentenced her best friend to death for saving an uncountable number of lives.

Celestia kept asking herself how had he carried on, bearing such a burden for her, and for so many others.



***



Celestia forced herself back to her hooves after a time. Her magic lifted Chance’s long black coat back to the hanger it came from, needing something of his close as she wept.

Once she felt she had gathered herself back together, she cast her eyes around the workroom to take stock again. The stacks of files were best left in the strange location that Chance directed her to for the time being, knowing that she needed to take care not to show how much she knew about the real events now.

More than a few powerful beings tried to keep tabs on her, and she was not always able to block scrying attempts.

With a deep breath, Celestia headed for the doorway of the workroom, only to freeze when she opened it.

Lieutenant Sight bowed once she opened the door, his golden armor gleaming in the hallway light, then rising and meeting her eye. “Princess Celestia, I deeply and sincerely apologize for having lied to you about who I am. I am not Lieutenant Horizon Sight. My real name is Plain Sight, Head Agent and Acting Director of the Black Coats. Former Head Agent and Director Second Chance was a valued friend and mentor. I know it is a lot to take in all at once, but we are pressed for time in a sense. Agent Chance and myself may have succeeded in taking out the bulk of leadership and structure from the necromancer’s cult, but there are still hundreds, perhaps thousands, of their members still at large that we could not neutralize. This is not counting other threats that are not quite so imminent.”

Celestia stared at the stallion, unable to stop her mouth from opening and closing a few times before she could collect herself.

“That is…understandable, ah, Agent Sight,” was all Celestia managed to say.

She saw in his eyes a strange mirror of what she saw in Chance, not quite sure how to respond to the stallion. Celestia found herself almost ready to say they were brothers in spirit somehow.

“With all due respect, Princess Celestia, we should get you back to your royal duties for today. Chance and I have plans already in motion. I will divulge everything in the coming weeks if you will indulge my initial reticence. My fellow agents need this hidden facility back.”

Some obvious questions needed to be asked, Celestia getting herself back together after so many revelations. “I have some questions first. How large an organization are the Black Coats? Where do you get your funding from? Are there any agents you should notify me of up front?”

Plain Sight responded in a direct manner. “Princess, at present, the Black Coats number a few hundred active agents, not counting limited support staff. The majority of us are dispersed in key locations and mostly gather intelligence for relevant parties to act on, if permissible for us to stand aside to allow such based on anticipated risks. Funding comes from various governments that agreed to work with us against common threats, so long as we adhere to a special condition. The two agents here in Canterlot you can rely on most after myself are Agent Stronghand and Agent Anders. You know them as the Ambassadors Longhorn and Adolphus. Presently, they are partially double agents and loyal to you. Every Black Coat is, despite some occasional appearances to the contrary. That will have to be a story for another time.”

Celestia blinked, opening and closing her mouth again. She decided to keep it simple until she had more time. “And what, pray tell, is the special condition foreign nations required of what amounts to an independent Equestrian intelligence agency?”

A small flash of annoyance flitted across the stallion’s features, as if remembering a headache from past experience. “Agent Chance made a deal with said foreign governments. The Black Coats would be predominately based in Equestria, but on the condition that you, Princess Celestia, would never be permitted to take charge of us. He thought it was a rather grand prank, knowing he was setting up your former protege to head the organization. The nature of the agreement is such that attempting to renege would cut off the sharing of the intelligence we gather, which is ahead of most other similar organizations. It is also something Equestria could afford without them, if necessary. They are well aware of this.”

A hoof found its way to Celestia’s temple again, her eyes closing as she massaged her head. She began questioning if she would ever learn the full extent of the things Chance had gotten up to.

Was it more of his hidden games? Was it some elaborate ploy to help distract her from the heartache she now felt? Some abstract attempt at making it feel like he would never be completely gone from her side in some odd way? His sometimes warped humor aiming at something she would never discover?

Celestia thought perhaps she was getting carried away, the grief of his loss and discovering the scale of his sacrifice still so fresh in her mind. She turned her thoughts to something else that she needed an answer to.

“Agent Sight, was there any way to save that filly from such a horrible fate?” Her words carried an undercurrent of dim hope that the answer wasn’t what she expected, or what it might confirm.

The stallion’s demeanor shifted, sorrow flickering across his expression for a moment before the determination pushed it away, though inner pain did not leave his eyes completely. “I believe I know all of what Chance told you in his messages. He did not mention I was there in the room, monitoring the ritual stability. There is… She was not truly a filly, Princess. What they did to her trapped her, unchanging from five years old, for over fifty years.”

The stallion paused, eyes closing as Celestia watched twitches across his body whisper the unsaid, and reminding her of nothing so much as Guard veterans that came back from terrible events and battles abroad.

“The phylactery was kept stable in that diffused state through horrendous methods. I will not mince words. She was half mad, and somehow half resigned sage. It was difficult to see on what was left, but her entire body was scarred. Even under her tail, from actions I don’t like to think about. The phylactery sealed every wound she took in a few minutes and stopped her blood from escaping. She… When she realized what we needed, she begged to die. Begged to be tortured to death because it was easier. She didn’t… Oh Princess, she didn’t do more than whimper until she died. She was so used to pain that she only whimpered as Chance whittled her body down until he pulled the crystal out of her open chest cavity and she was finally allowed to die. And she saw it as mercy from us.”

Celestia stared at the stallion, unable to do anything else. She only knew one necromancer that used that specific method for hiding a phylactery. The preference for foals. What that former mare that wouldn’t die was truly capable of. How close she was to returning again, and how terrifying the cult really was. How important it was to track them all down.

And what Chance had faced without a word or sign.

In a dull voice, Celestia had to speak, if only to interrupt the strangling silence in the hall where only strained breathing was heard. “I have seen that exact practice before. You… You did the best you could for her under the circumstances.”

Agent Sight seemed to blink out of a thousand yard stare, wearing an odd expression for a moment before he frowned at her, his eyes igniting with inner fire. “My apologies, Princess Celestia. I should have noted that nightmare of an experience is also my reason for dedicating myself to the work I do. No matter the cost to myself, I will spend the rest of my life working to make sure what that filly endured may never be repeated. And if it has been, I will see them set free by any means necessary.”

Looking into his eyes, Celestia saw Chance staring back at her for a brief moment. The good and the bad. The hidden sides that had caught her.

Celestia put it all in the back of her mind as matters that had to wait. There were more important things to focus on in the present as she gave the stallion a slow nod. “I confess I am feeling overwhelmed by everything that I have learned. It is a rather novel experience, after all the centuries I have lived. Your input on how to gather my fellow royals together for a quiet emergency conference would be appreciated, Agent Sight. We have a lot of work to do.”

Both turned together and made their way out of the hidden hall, knowing there was much still to do behind closed doors.



***



Celestia stared at the recent addition to her private bedroom that she placed in secret. A decorative painting that hung in her chambers for years covered the panel location. Even lifting the painting from the wall would reveal nothing without knowing it was there.

A certain long black coat hung solemnly, standing sentinel in the dark.

Turning away from the private tribute, Celestia left her chambers for a meeting that had taken a few months to prepare. The true purpose conducted behind a ruse of international challenges to excuse the security measures.

Stepping into the secure meeting room, Celestia had all but one of her retinue remain outside as expected. Hinting she had accepted her newest personal guard in full with the special duty, a little early but not unusual, as Lieutenant Sight would be needed for the critical meeting.

Celestia took her seat and looked around the table at her fellow royals before speaking. “Please cast whatever anti-scrying wards and other security protections you have available to you. This meeting must stay secure.”

The mares and stallion that Celestia had as her family gave her a few odd looks at the request for much higher security than anticipated. A certain two ambassadors merely looked on.

Once she had finished her own casting, the strength of all the layering nigh impossible to penetrate, she looked at her sister, her niece, her former Captain, and her former student for a long moment. Only her sister had any inkling, having been informed of a fair degree in the dreamscape.

“I have called all of you together for reasons more critical than unexpected international struggles,” Celestia began. “Please understand the extreme need for secrecy, as we are dealing with a more dangerous enemy than we have faced in centuries. We have much to prepare for, and there is much for me to tell you.”

Pausing, Celestia felt a faint touch of pride enter her voice as she spoke the words she had been holding for months.

“And why I can now tell you that Chance not only never betrayed us, but he saved us all.”

Author's Note:

Chance's Theme: Two Steps From Hell - Star Sky

Link

The story was inspired by the above song. I highly recommend the various works from the team Two Steps From Hell. Their music is inspiring and encourages the mind to conjure up brilliant, vivacious imagery.

Although I will not, if anyone wants to take this further, they are welcome to do so. If you are inspired, go forth and create.

Comments ( 83 )

Interesting.... Well a bit I dunno strange? Yeah strange I didn't expect for him to die just like that. Anyway I think it was a good story all in all. Good job:twilightsmile:

a sequel,i demand a sequel,for i love it :pinkiecrazy::eeyup:

i can say this is a vary interesting story shit this is a amazing story.
it is a bit out of the norm for my preferred story but dam i am glade i took the time to read this.
a sequel? possibly, it would require a crap load of planing so it all plays out right.

9150457
ScrambledCrackers would be up for it he has access to a rather good team.

9150461
:rainbowderp: wow,then i think ScrambledCrackers was planning a sequel :trixieshiftright::moustache:

9150457 9150461
While I appreciate the vote of confidence, I personally am stopping here.

It's a one-shot only for me, but as the author's note says at the end of the story, others are welcome to carry it onward if they are inspired.

9150470
oh...sorry :twilightsheepish:,i rarely read those,though i should put more effort into reading them :twilightsheepish::twilightblush:

9150470
i under stand after all you still have your huge story protecting harmony you are working on.

9150488
Really need to stop putting off the next chapter of PH, too. Whole story is about to advance to a new level.

Let's just say, that although this story's intricacies are unrelated to PH, they may hint at the scale of surprises to come. :trollestia:

Nice. Two steps never fails to inspire.

Is there more to come?

9150692
I'm afraid not. For me, this is a one-shot story.

Still, if anyone has the guts and inspiration, they're welcome to pick up the story from here.

I haven't read this yet, but I will do soon. I have to say now, however, what a concept. Author, you're the first person I've ever seen to put a spin like this on the classic HiE, and I can only hope you've done it justice in the, heh, execution.

Looking forward to reading this one!

Damn good story. I would love a sequel of this, but I think it's best you don't. Why mess up a near perfect story. *Bows to the author's greatness*

It's nice to see this get featured. I know you put a lot of effort into it.

Okay... there were some good things going on in this story, but there was one thing that I just couldn't get over... that being how much of a Mary Sue this Chance character is. I mean really... how can you expect me to believe that he not only discovered in three years what Celestia and her entire government couldn't in centuries, but also managed to create and run an entire secret service organization right under Celestia's nose without her knowing? Sorry, but having a character who is the best at seemingly everything they do and never makes a mistake totally kills the story for me.

9150727
To write a continuation of such a story would be hard, as there is a lot of information in front of whoever you decide to have the POV, you can't just have a single plot it's an intelligence agency everything is seen, something that would be hard to keep up with irl, or reading as a single person, and not to mention being able to write it would require being at least half as imaginative as such agency would be resourceful.
Basically, a continuation is possible, but from such a perspective it would require for the writer to create a world in grand detail on a larger scale, not neglecting smaller details, personalities and personal relationships required for the immersion, beacuse afterall we live in the moment, we readers are not presidents but that's what such a continuation would make us see. (Though some games can have such people they are few)
PS I might be rambling or I actually managed to somewhat grasp what would have to be.
PPS You got other stories to finish.

9150727 too bad, has a lot of potential

Holy shit.

CIA+

Alondro #20 · Sep 5th, 2018 · · 26 ·

Unfortunately for this human, I ended up in Equestria too and killed his ass with some toxic extracts his non-scientific education left him utterly oblivious to.

My Mary Sue kicks your Mary Sue in the nuts.

:trollestia:

9151815 9151832 9151866
Thank you.

Not oddly enough, this was more or less a throw-away story that I just needed to get out of my head. A neat idea inspired by the TSFH song Star Sky (link in story description).

Also have to note, now that the story got featured, I am bracing for the drama that goes with it. Grab your popcorn and watch. It's already started. :pinkiecrazy:

9151915 9152597
To which I say, you are free to form your own opinion. I know not everyone will appreciate it as such.

I'll also note that when you understand what years of focused intensity towards a goal can accomplish, even from a single person, you might consider a different perspective. Nothing happened overnight, but over the course of 8 years. Nor would the little details required to set the stage like you seem likely to have preferred have suited the format and length of this humble chickenscratch.

Thank you for reading, either way. :twilightsmile:

9152048
Hard wouldn't even do the challenge justice.

The complex dynamics and hints I used only work if I don't continue. The lack of details given helps keep the mystery in part because we don't know what Chance is capable of.

Also, while a fair bit more tricky to convey or grasp without personal experience, the kinds of people that do that kind of work actually do tend to be more than a little unusual. Let's just say you shouldn't get an intelligence agent's ire, or tickle their sense of humor by aiming a practical joke at you. I've met one or two, and know a few true stories.

It is also my understanding that they tend to be remarkably talented individuals before training. After training, the best of them would make most of us think they were a Gary Stu character on TV, for all they could accomplish.

There's a reason it's so hard to join groups like the FBI, CIA, and NSA.

They only take the best.

9152663
A prequel would be possible, however. Hell, this story would function as an excellent prologue, too. You'd be able to slowly build up these events over time, making a continuation much easier.

But I can respect that it might be a difficult, and time consuming task. I just really liked the story.

This story is damn good.

I really can’t critique it more than that. I enjoyed the read. Thank you for the experience.

This story really blew me away! Too bad he didn't ask for some iocaine powder to be executed with.
Faked his death due to developing a resistance to it. And made a surprise appearance later.

the way he dies make me think he will comeback as a pony using delayed dark magic

9150038

A more elaborate suicide fantasy than most.

9153411
Nah the crystals were either phoenix teleport or invisibility/fire illusion more likely. (if he didn't die)

9151915
To be fair, it was stated that they approached him first, not the other way around. Other than that, I agree with the whole 'set up an international spy organization without the knowledge of any rulers in Equestria, and got funding from foreign governments' being implausible.

The second I recognized the lyrics I upvoted the song. Excellent choice in music, beautifully written story.

The pacing of this story was spot on. Just keeping enough out of reach to keep the story flowing very naturally, brilliant.
You've definitely gained a follower with this, cheers mate

"After all this time?" Celestia asked.

"Always." Replied Chance.

9153502
Thank you for acknowledging it was implausible, but not impossible.

All I can really say is it is the people we trust most that could slip the wool over our eyes the best, if they wanted. Nor was it something built alone, but rather he was an instigator that knew the right moves. That, and it took 8 years.

I also agree that it would typically deserve an eye-roll for excess, but in this story, the lack of knowledge helps make it more plausible entirely because we don't know exactly what he did with all those years. He was part of the inner circle as he was, which means he had intimate knowledge of normally hidden functions and ways of thinking.

Nor do we know what the organization's members could do. Focused intensity over time by many?

Even the very definition of what a limit is can change.

9153415
My goodness, aren't you just a ray of sunshine? :yay:

Blocks ur path.
heh, nothing personal kid
Teleports behind u

So...































































Sequel?

What that former mare that wouldn’t die was truly capable of. How close she was to returning again, and how terrifying the cult really was. How important it was to track them all down.

I started getting Fillystata flashbacks during that scene. That mare was truly fucked up in the head.

Is this referencing any villain from a previous story of yours?

Anyways, I hope something more adventurous spawns from this someday.

I absolutely loved this. I won't ask you to write a sequel if you really don't want to, but I do think you should keep writing in general. Your story has re-ignited my faith in fan fiction as a legitimate art form. If this was a book, I'd definitely buy it.

A Human in Equestria story done perfection. A sequel would be amazing, but I'm perfectly happy leaving this with that ending. Remember everyone to support our intelligence agencies. *looks at webcam* :raritywink:

Dying in service to the immortal and magnificent. Few things are as poignant. A very well done story, if deeply sad. Makes me wonder who, or what, was at the heart of the cult. I can only assume Grogar.

Well done. Well done.

I feel odd. This all seems familiar. At the same time it also is a very bare-bones story of this type, and the more I think about it the more or less I feel that this is a good concept done in the barest way possible.

I will get plenty of hate for this opinion.

But other than that do not let my salt, lamentation, and realization that all of my hard work is meaningless deter you.

This is good, and you do have other stories to take care off. You do that.

as a door identical to the one on the front of the house.

you are missing a verb here.

You know when I first saw the summery and header image, I thought this was gonna be about some crazy human in Equestria who had been murdering ponies to make himself a leather coat to look cooler.

As for the story after I actually read it.

a bit short with an interesting idea, but I think it has a problem with verisimilitude.

Not so much with the secret agent in Equestria part, a skilled and motivated person in the right place can do a lot in a decade, although I’m a bit confused why he didn’t try to save himself in any way, especially when all the killings could easily have been judged justified if he had explained himself. – at first, I even thought he was faking his death during his execution.

Mostly the part straining my suspension of disbelieve was the bad guys.

Now this might be because we are told very little about them and it all would have made sense in context, but in short, they are frankly over the top from what we know. The point that broke my suspension of disbelieve was the phylactery made from a tortured child that they had to mercy kill.

Individually, their traits can be believable, but not all together in one group flying under the radar in Equestria.

(assuming of course, that this version of Equestria is basically true to the show)

A group of infiltrators, like changelings or cultists trying to revive an ancient evil, could only stay hidden for long in the princess’s backyard as long as they avoid activity that draws attention, like kidnapping and murdering children.

Although secrecy might not matter once they are ready to enact their plans.

Also, A group isolated from the rest of civilization can get away with some weird stuff as long as they keep to themselves, but by the same token, that kind of isolation mean their deaths or disappearance would not be likely to cause much international outrage.

9156018
If he had revealed publically what had happened, his organization would have been revealed as well.

If he had revealed what happened to just the royals, they would not have executed him and therefore the public would demand an answer as to why. His organization is revealed.

Remember, the terrorists are not ALL gone. His sacrifice means Equestria can continue hunting them down in secret. The terrorists know the one that had targeted them is dead.

As for the terrorists themselves, I have no idea what you're talking about. Are you saying a group of people can't kidnap a single child without drawing major attention? And that was 50 years ago! And none of it is exactly so "over the top" that it's unbelievable, it's freaking dark blood magic. That's basically defined as over the top gore and horror.

That was cool. I really enjoyed that, amazing work!

9156539

If he had revealed publically what had happened, his organization would have been revealed as well.

You do realize there is a middle ground between screaming on the rooftops that there are evil cultists around and taking that fact to the grave?

If he had revealed what happened to just the royals, they would not have executed him and therefore the public would demand an answer as to why. His organization is revealed.

If they had told the foreign royalty, who were never implied to be in on it, they could have avoided a lot of the political strain on Equestria.

They could also just have sentenced him to life in prison, or stone prison, or stone prison on the moon.

Until such a time that they can reveal the truth to the public. You know, satisfying the public outrage by sentencing him to anything but death.

The foreign royalty will also not be able to work together with the Equestrian government to put an end to the threat of the necromancer and her cult, since the Agent did not choose to reveal the existence of the threat.

Hell, the foreign royalty might even decide to protect the cult members from the Equestrian government, not knowing the true threat.

Remember, the terrorists are not ALL gone. His sacrifice means Equestria can continue hunting them down in secret. The terrorists know the one that had targeted them is dead.

All the better reason not to kill yourself after you deliver the first blow.

As for the terrorists themselves, I have no idea what you're talking about. Are you saying a group of people can't kidnap a single child without drawing major attention? And that was 50 years ago!

It was heavily implied that they did a lot more then just kidnapping a single child 50 years ago.

And none of it is exactly so "over the top" that it's unbelievable, it's freaking dark blood magic. That's basically defined as over the top gore and horror.

I was referring to the implied sexual abuse, as far as I could see they were just sexually abusing her to be evil.

If you want super dark blood magic forcing them into a mercy kill, How about this?

The child is forced to consume the flesh of other ponies to sustain herself, while the implanted phylactery is trying to revive the necromancer by devouring the soul and mind of the child and replacing it bit by bit with that of the necromancer, who will return strengthened by all the lives she had devoured.

And If you absolutely need the horror to be sexual, then she could have been pregnant with the new body of the necromancer. The implanted phylactery would basically be impregnating her to produce clones of the necromancer whenever they required a new body.

9156837
1. What middle ground do you suggest.
2. "If they had told the foreign royalty, who were never implied to be in on it" You mean other than the fact that two of their agents are Ambassadors?
3. "The foreign royalty will also not be able to work together with the Equestrian government to put an end to the threat of the necromancer and her cult, since the Agent did not choose to reveal the existence of the threat." Except he DID, posthumously. The fact that at the end, Celestia is holding a meeting involving diplomats from other nations, shows that they ARE working with foreign nations.
4. You say "all the better reason", but it seems as if you are contradicting yourself. You agree that there are cultists, left, and hunting them in secret is good, but ask that the avenue for making that possible be removed? If he is not dead, the cultists WILL make a move on removing him from play, no matter where they put him. Moon isn't possible, as that was only done with the Elements. I rather doubt the Elements will throw him there when he's innocent.
5. "Heavily implied" To what end exactly? The author implied nothing but that the cultists were "biding their time." Those exact words. The only incident we know of is the kidnapped child.
6. I'd ask how impregnating a child, (nevermind whether or not it is even POSSIBLE to do so, maturity is a physical thing, not just a mental one, buddy) is ANY LESS horrific than doing what they did.

9156871

1. What middle ground do you suggest.

Oh I don’t know, telling a Princess, anyone of them, about what he found and his plans so that everything will not be lost if he gets “unlucky” at some point.

2. "If they had told the foreign royalty, who were never implied to be in on it" You mean other than the fact that two of their agents are Ambassadors?

I don’t think any ambassadors where ever incriminated? The closest I could find in a quick read-through was that there were two ambassadors from countries that had lost people to the attack and didn’t like the equestrian government as a result. I don’t think they were cultists?

3. "The foreign royalty will also not be able to work together with the Equestrian government to put an end to the threat of the necromancer and her cult, since the Agent did not choose to reveal the existence of the threat." Except he DID, posthumously. The fact that at the end, Celestia is holding a meeting involving diplomats from other nations, shows that they ARE working with foreign nations.

Yes, and to think how much faster and smoother it could have been done if he had told them at any time before his death.

Might also have prevented some political shitstorms.

4. You say "all the better reason", but it seems as if you are contradicting yourself. You agree that there are cultists, left, and hunting them in secret is good, but ask that the avenue for making that possible be removed? If he is not dead, the cultists WILL make a move on removing him from play, no matter where they put him. Moon isn't possible, as that was only done with the Elements. I rather doubt the Elements will throw him there when he's innocent.

Yes, and then they can ambush the cultists when they come for him.

5. "Heavily implied" To what end exactly? The author implied nothing but that the cultists were "biding their time." Those exact words. The only incident we know of is the kidnapped child.

Well for one thing:

Name: Sidetrack

Age: 27

Public-side Profession: Courier

Known/Confirmed Activity: Enforcer, Recruiter, Foal-napper and Trafficker

I don’t think he was the only one in the group committing crimes, and unless he was also the one who was supposed to have kidnapped that one foal two decades before he was even born, there was more missing children then the one they turned into a living soul jar.

6. I'd ask how impregnating a child, (nevermind whether or not it is even POSSIBLE to do so, maturity is a physical thing, not just a mental one, buddy) is ANY LESS horrific than doing what they did.

It was meant to be less “evil for the lolz”, not less horrific.

It was meant to be dark magic following a purpose, instead of them just randomly raping their living soul jar for no reason.

we don’t know how that permanent child thing was supposed to work or how old she is supposed to be either. (anywhere between newborn and fifty)

It might work, might not. It is just an option if you absolutely need sexual horror with your dark magic that isn’t just random rape.

9155207
No references to other villains I've created. Although one could make a broad association with one villain mare I have brewing, but not yet truly revealed.

Also just don't have any idea how I'd carry this on, nor to I desire to do so. It shall remain a snapshot in time of an AU Celestia's life and a major event in it, which is the what the story is really about.

9155697
I appreciate your thoughts. It was meant to be sparing on details, in fact. Particularly in Chance's appearance. He could be any ethnicity, as all we know is he has skullcap short dark hair and a presence that could be regal or imperious (which, itself, is more about how one presents themselves than physical).

Just a random idea I threw together in two days of actual writing, though there was a pause in the middle.

Not unlike the other, even shorter, one-shot I posted before. That one was even more sparing of details, and depending on how one chooses to read it, could have seen either a woman x stallion, or man x mare. It was also squishy feels.

9156837 9156871
Little much to get specific on, as I don't want to get too deep, so a joined response.

SPOILERS AHEAD
A couple points:

-I was light on details largely on purpose, letting readers see what they wanted with limited descriptor clues.

-The phylactery tends to be a major source of power for a necromancer, often as a sort of external body, letting their actual body even be destroyed and they won't die, but destroying the crystal kills them. This case, a battery of sorts as followers do rituals and gradually empower it until it can reform the body.

-If someone intentionally pays attention to avoiding attention, and understands how, they are nigh impossible to detect. Even large groups. It's part of why we have lone wolf issues today.

-It was noted that he made it appear it was his fault and Celestia (and the other royals, for that matter) remained ignorant of everything, which means the big nasty would be forced to assume she still had no idea about the cult in hiding. The mass death was a cavern, a hidden place. He probably took the burden both because he's an anomaly, and because he knew just what cards could be played. Or cause he was, y'know, wanting redemption for his own past wrongs. This left Celestia with a MASSIVE advantage of intel.

-Foreign governments had at least a small knowledge, and it might have helped if I mentioned they thought it was worth the satisfaction of such a large scale joke, Celestia not knowing something that big when she's always been on top, and couldn't be mad about it when she finally found out. :trollestia:

-Exactly when is the general public sensible? They'd have demanded blood unless everything was made public, and we don't know what the cult would do if they had to stop hiding.

-It was also heavily implied that the two ambassadors were loyal to Celestia, above their own governments...

-Story says it directly. The filly was trapped at age 5 for fifty years. She was between 50 and 55. :ajbemused:

-Banana

All told, thank you for having enough passion over the story to debate over it. That tells me it really caught your attention. :twilightsmile:

I was really hoping that this would be either be a Columbine type story or Postal crossover. Why else would you place so much focus on that damn long black coat?

After realizing that this was not the edgefest that I wanted, my thoughts turned to much of the same criticisms and concerns as 9151915 and 9156018

Oh well, though I did not care for your plot, you did write it well and in an engaging manner.

9157011
I did very much like the story. But if I may offer a rebuttal:

Tomato.

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